AUTHOR'S NOTE: Hello! I was inspired from another story on here that featured a second person POV that I absolutely enjoyed reading. I hope in this short one shot I can stick as close to the character's portrayal as possible. This moment takes places just as you're choosing who joins you in the final battle. I hope you enjoy. Also I HIGHLY HIGHLY recommend reading this while listening to My love by Sia, this song was also an inspiration for this story. I hope you enjoy.
'My love, leave yourself behind
Beat inside me, leave you blind
My Love, look what you can do
I am mending, I'll be with you'
-Sia, My Love
You know what must be done. You can be replaced while Alistair cannot. Tears prick like needles at your eyes, willing to flow down your cheeks, but you push through. Alistair's arms remain locked around your own, saying his goodbye. Believing it will be him to strike the blow, effectively sacrificing him-self. You bury your head into his shoulder and breathe in his musky scent. He rubs your head, whispering something you don't have the heart to listen to.
You had so much hope before running into battle. Things changed, everything is so easy to change. Howe's loyalty to your family had changed to where he once rode in battle and fought alongside your father sharing the same blood to spilling your father's blood in your home. Retribution was paid when you slew Howe with your father's blade. His blood trickling down the blade after you removed it is forever memorized in your thoughts. It wasn't as you had thought it would feel. After it was over you felt tired and sickly, nothing else. There was no rejoicing or sudden clarity. You left his body there, throat clenched and mouth tasting sour, a single chant playing through your mind; "the person seeking revenge should dig two graves". One of the moral stories Nan use to tell you as a child.
Wynne had warned you, and you committed the act twice now; Howe and then Loghain.
They had deserved it, hadn't they? Just like those men you had cut down in Lothering, right? The ones who wanted to bring you in to Loghain because their people needed food. What had you done? You killed them all. Even though it was the beginning of your time as a Grey Warden and your skills were just being molded you knew their chance against you was impossible. Still you drove your blade into their chests. You still slew them all down without a second glance. There was some pain in your heart, but you had gotten good at covering that hadn't you?
What about that time when you wanted to use that blood mage because you were tired after the battle to get inside the castle? Alistair had to talk you out of it, all because you didn't want to journey to the mage's tower. The only reason he had talked to you after that was because you found his mother's locket. That was why you had to do it. That was why you knew the final blow was supposed to be yours.
You have made many faults while Alistair's only one is loving you.
No one could write a more poetic and tragic ending then this. Two lovers to be separated by death sounds almost like another story Nan had told you. Alistair was the only man you've ever loved or ever been with. The knowledge that he will find another with, to rule beside him and it will not be you drives a knife through your heart. It is too late to back out. You can't and won't do it. Morrigan is gone, the deal no longer an option any longer. Perhaps you should have taken it. No, you know blood magic is never an option in any scenario. No matter what it could bring.
Morrigan, your friend, your ally had abandoned you when you had needed her most. Alistair had repeatedly told you how much he hated her, how much he didn't trust her and how she was anything but good. And he had been right. You had always wanted to give everyone a chance. She was an apostate, but she didn't dribble in blood magic, until she had offered the night before. Out of all of them you had figured perhaps Zevran or Sten would raise a blade against you or abandon you, but it was Morrigan.
Alistair's pushing your head up and kissing you softly. You respond back and fight against the tears. This is your final goodbye. The only moment you have left with him. The kiss is over much sooner than you want it to be. He looks at you, his eyes watery from unshed tears. His hand brushes loose strands of hair out of your face.
"I love you, you know that right?" he whispers, his voice hoarse with emotions.
"And I love you, Alistair. I always have, always will." Your voice is breaking and you struggle to stay strong. Anything physically attacking, you can handle, but this time it is your emotions that are relentless and you are waning. You caress his cheek, stroking his stubble and think that he's in need of a shave.
Hope is difficult to possess and yet so easy to shatter. One moment you are engaged to Alistair and the next you are giving him a final goodbye to him before you meet your death. The last night the two of you had spent it together, he had claimed it wasn't a farewell. You never told him about Morrigan's deal. The only ones who knew were Leliana and Wynne.
Time was running out, you needed to act quickly. Your eyes become blurry and you realize you are crying. He reaches his hand out and lovingly wipes them away. "It's okay, love. I'll see you again. I'll be waiting for you." He is speaking your words.
You laugh quietly and shake your head, "No, my love, it is I who will be waiting for you." He frowns. His lips part to speak and you use this chance to kiss him goodbye. Your lips crash against his and you try to voice what you cannot speak against his lips. He's holding you closely again his arms wrapped tightly against your waist. Your arms are wrapped around his neck while your sword is loosely held by your hand. This is the moment. If you don't do it now, you won't ever do it.
Using the hilt of your sword you smash it into the back of Alistair's head. His lips slacken on yours and his eyes flutter shut. You attempt to hold him up as his body slumps but his weight pulls you down with him. Leliana walks over to you and helps you up. You refuse to meet her eyes knowing pity is what awaits you. She helps you prop Alistair's heavy steel clad body against the wall. He looks peaceful, no worries etched across his face. Sleeping just as he was this early morning. You know he will be angry when he awakens and you are truly sorry you will not be there to face his wrath.
"We need to go." Wynne murmurs to you as she places her frail and small hand on your shoulder. She had warned you about this and what had you done? You had ignored her like a foolish girl caught up in her first love. Wynne knew there would be no happy ending for you two. You were never good at listening to voices of reason.
You shove down your emotions. You're a Grey Warden. You're their leader. You're Ferelden's savior, their martyr. This goodbye had been hard, but it was time for you to move on. You needed to move on just as you did when you left your parents dying in your home. Every step has led you to this hour, your final hour.
You shake off Wynne's hand and reach inside your armor. Since the day he gave it to you you've always had it on you, directly placed above your heart. You pull the rose out and turn it over in your hands. He had been extremely nervous as he held it out for you to take it. His cheeks almost matching the same intensity of the pink rose. You remember your heart had been fluttering; surely your face was matching his as you took the rose. Alistair's hand is open and you place the rose inside of it.
No one says anything. Leliana, Wynne and Sten both remain silent as you walk past them without a second glance back at Alistair. They follow you into the utter chaos on the roof. The Arch-demon is there and it sends chills of terror down your spine. The Arch-demon is chanting something to you; you hear the dark words but can't make sense of them. You attempt to rush towards it but are blocked off by a few Hurlocks. Once they kept you awake during the night but now they bring no fear into your heart. Your blade slices into their chests and slashes at their necks. Your mind clouded from both adrenaline and bloodlust.
One of the Hurlocks from afar aims an arrow at you and pierces the armor between your shoulders. The pain makes you cry out and you reach around and yank it out. Sten is already attacking the Hurlock that shot the arrow so you focus your attention on the ones surrounding Wynne. She falls back with the Hurlocks chasing after her. You run after them but are cut off by the Arch-demon. It snarls at you sinisterly and you roll under its' belly as it shoots fire at you. As you roll you raise your knife and slice at its' stomach. It rears up and crashes down, barely missing your skull. You slide out from under it and slash at its' injured wing, not causing any major damage but pain. It roars and you use its' pain to your advantage as you cut at the Arch-demon's throat.
The Arch-demon slams its' mouth against your left arm and you scream in pain. An arrow shoots out and lodges itself in the Arch-demon's eye making it release you. You fall heavily onto the ground and you struggle to catch your breath. The Arch-demon leaves you and starts shooting fire at Leliana. You stand up and push the blade into its chest. It shrieks loudly and its' cry is painful. The Arch-demon lowers its neck just enough for you to know what you need to do. Alistair flashes through your mind as you raise your sword; his smiles, his laugh, the soft and timid touches and spoken confessions. Your sword connects with the Arch-demon's neck and slices straight through it. For a moment you feel nothing and nothing happens, then a flash of light streams from the dragon's neck, blinding you. You feel the soul of the dragon entering you. The force of the light sends you flying into the air. You are slipping away and you could swear the last thing you hear is Alistair's voice calling your name before darkness engulfs you.
EPILOGUE [Letters never received]
My Dearest Friend,
I miss you. We all miss you terribly. I even caught Sten visiting your gravestone before he left. He didn't say anything, just knelt for a moment got up and said he was returning back to his land. Sten wasn't the only one to leave Ferelden, Zevran left as well back to Antiva. He revealed to me it was because of how the land reminded him much of you. Your brother, Fergus I believe was the name, was found and he attended your funeral. He is both proud of you and saddened that you are gone. Alistair told him you never stopped looking for him. I knew you kept awake at night worried about your brother, he is a good man. He is proud that he is the brother to the Hero of Ferelden. That is what they are calling you now, it is a noble title and I wish you were here to celebrate with us. The years are passing by slowly without you.
Your death has been difficult on all of us, Alistair especially. Your mabari remains by his side constantly, the two of them sharing their grief. It is a mournful sight. They are both not doing very well and I worry more for Alistair since he is King. His advisors have already urged him to find another betrothed which only made him angry. He isn't the same man anymore. He's become cold in the absence of your warmth. He is angry, angry at the Wardens, himself, the darkspawn and you. He is angry at you my friend for taking away his choice of it being him. He has told both me and Wynne that you should have lived and not him. Alistair held you as you died, not saying anything. We can tell when he is thinking of you for he is constantly doing so.
Unlike him, I can rest easily knowing you are with the Maker and his bride. I believe that you are also causing them just as much trouble as you did with us. It did always seem like we were getting ourselves involved with everyone's struggles in the land, but, that is what I admired so much about you.
Until I see you again,
Leliana
You were honorable to the end.
-STEN
I suppose based on what they say in the chantry, I will see you again. I am not a very religious man but I hope it is true. You did not bring me along with you during the final battle and perhaps I am happy that you chose so. Your death was hard enough without having to witness your final moments. So my friend, I shall see you again perhaps in another life.
-Zeveran
You were a fool. I could have given you your life, but you refused. 'Tis not my fault that you were to prideful to not save your life. All I wanted was to see you living, you did not deserve to die so soon.
I'm angry, furious, outraged, I could go on, at you. I'm so angry! I'm angry. It should have been me, not you, anyone but you. You left me. I'm so furious! I wish you were here so I could yell at you! Tell you how stupid you were being and how dare you take away my decision! We were supposed to rule together, it seems this is the Maker's final joke on me. Letting me have you for a moment and then taking you away just when I thought I could have you forever.! It was supposed to be me! Not you. Never you.
Forever yours, Alistair The King of Fereldan.
