Summary: Ponyboy interrogates everybody about biscuits, and Johnny thinks he should try out for American Idol. Dallas doesn't like this much.

WARNING: This fic is incredibly dumb, not to mention historically inaccurate. We know that they didn't have American Idol and Tivo back in the day. Don't like these stupid, OOC stories? Don't read!

Disclaimer: We do not own The Outsiders, nor do we recieve any kind of profit for doing this. SE Hinton owns the wonderful Greasers everybody likes to write about so much. We don't own "One Tin Soldier", either. The Original Castle owns that. DON'T SUE PLZ?

Special thanks to my "Rumble Fish", Marcia. BETAS FOREVER, AYE?

"Do you like biscuits?"

That was the question Dallas Winston got when he walked into the Curtis house. "You feelin' okay, Pony?"

"Yeah," Pony answered hurriedly. "Well, do you?"

"No. I'm allergic."

Just then, Johnny ran through the door, wearing false cat ears and singing One Tin Soldier by The Original Castle. "LISTEN CHILDREN TO A STORY THAT WAS WRITTEN LONG AGOOOOOOOO! Oh, hi guys. Didn't know you were here. Shouldn't I be on American Idol?"

"What?" Dally demanded, very afraid.

Ponyboy's eyes widened. "Yes! Do it!"

Dally was completely freaked out by this point. "What are you guys talkin' about?"

Soda decided to bound in cheerily from the kitchen. "American Idol? I absolutely love that show!"

"Hey, Johnny, do you enjoy ingesting biscuits?" Ponyboy asked seriously.

Johnny thought a moment. "Yeah, ingesting them is fun, but they don't exactly taste all that great."

"What about you, Soda?"

"Yeah, I love biscuits! Just like I love American Idol!" He paused. "Wouldn't it be tuff if I watched American Idol and ate biscuits at the same time?"

Ponyboy began jumping up and down. "Heck, yes!" He and Soda high-fived.

Darry randomly teleported into the living room to join them. "Did I hear talk about American Idol and biscuits?" he inquired excitedly.

Dally, who was slightly frightened that nobody else was phased by Darry's teleporting skills, was still wondering what American Idol was.

Johnny burst out into song again: "'BOUT A KINGDOM ON A MOUNTAIN AND THE VALLEY FOLK BELOW!"

Darry stared at Johnny in astonishment. "Speaking of American Idol, you should totally audition!"

"Thank you. But the new season isn't until next year!" That fact made Johnny very sad. He almost started crying.

For some reason, Two-Bit decided to swagger in through the back door.

"DID I HEAR CANADIAN FOLK MUSIC?!" he wanted to know, trying to figure out where the folk music was coming from.

"YOU DID!" Johnny yelled back.

"You know…" Soda started. "All of us are here but Steve."

"Wow, Soda. Thank you."

"I wonder where he's at. He should be able to enjoy biscuits and American Idol, too!"

Ponyboy rolled his eyes. "Oh, we had a family meeting when you were at work yesterday. We decided that Steve isn't special enough to come over to our house any more."

Soda fell to his knees, and began to have a slight emotional breakdown.

"NOOOOOOOO!!" he wailed in terrible sadness. "WHAT WILL I DO WITHOUT MY BEST FRIEEEEEEND?!"

"You should… Go make biscuits!" Darry replied, beaming. That seemed to cheer Soda up quite a bit.

"You're right!" he agreed. "I should go make some biscuits! While watching American Idol episodes we Tivo-ed last year! Hey, Dally, wanna help me?"

"SCREW YOU ALL!" Dally exploded. "I HATE REALITY TELEVISION, WHATEVER THAT IS, AND CANADIAN FOLK MUSIC! AND HOW MANY TIMES MUST I TELL YOU, I'M ALLERGIC TO BISCUITS!"

Everyone was shocked by this sudden outburst, as they watched Dallas storm out the screen door. But the moment passed quickly, and Soda went to go make biscuits for everyone.