Sephiroth stood in the cafeteria in the Shinra building, lined up with his best friends, Angeal and Genesis, each holding a silver tray with different sections, awaiting the goo known as 'nutritious food' to be plastered onto their trays until the time came to scrape it off with a fork or attempt to carve it into a shape with a series of bent and buckled knives.

"Excuse me ma'am, what do you call this again? Clay or cement…?" Genesis asked the dinner-lady with cheeky pre-teen attitude.

The fat dinner-lady frowned and put her chubby hands on her fat rounded hips. "I prefer to call it poison."

Genesis moved along leaving Angeal and Sephiroth to get their share of the glop. Sephiroth's gaze slowly followed the gunk slowly falling off the ladle, looking strained as it did, as if she had scooped up sticky dog mess and left it to go stale for a day.

It finally fell onto his tray with a splat noise.

"Don't let me find it stuck to the ceiling again, Sephiroth!" She growled.

Sephiroth scrunched his face up and poked his tongue out at her before following Genesis.

"Don't put it in your shoes again." She told Angeal before the raven-haired boy could say anything.

Angeal said nothing and walked away. "Sephiroth…! Do the buttons up on your shirt!" She leant over the counter and called after the silver-haired boy.

"I don't like having my shirt done up…" Sephiroth whined sitting at one of the table's with his friends. "It looks cooler and more intimidating when it's undone."

"What happens when you start growing hair on your chest?" Genesis asked, putting his tray on the table while trying to understand what the gunk on his plate actually was.

"Cool!" Sephiroth shouted happily at the thought of his chest looking like it had a dead animal spread on it.

Genesis put his fork in his food and watched, as it stayed upright, he pulled it back and watched it stay in the same place put wobble like a jelly. "Maybe I'll wax."

Angeal and Sephiroth looked at the brown-haired ten-year-old, horrified. "You would actually wax your chest?" Sephiroth wondered aloud.

Angeal stood, crouched on his chair with one foot on the table and pointed a finger at Genesis. "Where is your pride and honour, Soldier?" He shouted. "You are a disgrace to man! Do you not understand the pride of chest-hair and the honour of manliness?"

Sephiroth sat and nodded while Genesis shook his head in embarrassment. "When I become a mighty General, I will strip you of your manliness!" He said.

"You'll never become a General!" Genesis scolded. "Sure you can hit an apple off my head with your sword, but that means NOTHING!"

Sephiroth smirked. "Whereas you can't even hit a single little frog in the Training room, LEVEL ONE."

Genesis frowned and pouted; he grabbed his tray and stormed away with his nose stuck in the air.

"Genesis…! Wait!" Angeal called after him.

Genesis turned around. "You gonna apologise?"

Angeal shook his head. "No, you forgot your MAN-PURSE!"

Sephiroth burst out laughing as Genesis stalked away again, tripping over. His sludge still stuck to his tray.

"Even if the morrow is barren of promises…! Nothing shall forestall my return!" He called as he got off the floor.

"What does that actually mean?" Sephiroth questioned, looking at the spot where Genesis had been lying.

"I dunno, I don't think he does either. Say's he's still try'na work it out. Something about a Goddess and Lifestream is all I understood." Angeal replied, also staring at the patch where Genesis had been.

They were silent for a while and continued staring. "Hey, Angeal..." Sephiroth said an evil smirk on his face.

"What?"

"Did you see the look on Genesis's face when he fell?" Sephiroth did an impression by waving one arm in the air with a terrified expression on his face, his eyes wide, mouth open with his tongue almost touching his cheek, making Angeal burst out laughing.

"Shut up!" He laughed, flinging his fork of goo in Sephiroth's face.

Sephiroth gave a dangerous look. "Food fight…!" He yelled, throwing his tray at the kid behind him.

"Hey…!" The boy shouted, lifting his fizzy drink, shaking it and the twisting the lid off in Sephiroth's direction, screaming as if he was wielding a machine gun.

Sephiroth and Angeal turned the table on its side, using it as a fortress, luckily avoiding the sticky mess being aimed at them.

There was a loud screech as everyone began fighting, Tseng had wrapped his arm around Cissnei's neck and was holding a celery stick to it, using it as a knife, Reno was throwing cans of Tuna off the food counter while the dinner ladies had run to get the man who would be in charge of all this, Mr Collins, he was in charge of the kitchens.

Flour from the kitchen was brought out and flung everywhere, fortresses were built using objects from the kitchen and cafeteria objects.

Sephiroth lifted an apple and bit a piece out of it as if it were a grenade. "I'm going in!"

"Seph'…!" Angeal yelled. "Seph'…!"

Sephiroth jumped over tables and dodged flying foods and table-wear as he threw the apple at a kids head.

"Everyone stop this now!" One of the head-training teachers yelled, running into the room.

The ruckus stopped immediately, Genesis, Sephiroth and Angeal were sent to Collin's office. "All three of you will be put on washing up duty for a month."

All three boys whined and complained. "You're actions were atrocious! You will never make Soldier at this rate!"

"In our defence sir, food fights are the perfect way to understand the environment we will be put in as soon as we make first." Sephiroth defended.

"When did you learn such long words?" Angeal asked.

"Internet."

"On that porn site you were looking at?" Genesis wondered aloud, all three of them forgetting whose office they were in.

"Which one…?"

"The one with the girl holding the gun. It's annoying 'cause you can't see her b—"

"All three of you are a disgrace to this company! Get out now and do the washing up!"

Later that evening

"I want these pots so shiny I can see my face in them." A dinner lady said strictly, walking past them as the boys worked.

"This one's starting to look like you." Sephiroth retorted, holding up one of the most rusty and greasiest lids he could find.

How any of them made Soldier is beyond Shinra.

Just a oneshot that someone suggested, please review and give me ideas. WARNING: Their next ages will change, for instance, 11 in one chapter, three in the next.