Plans
I sat on Edward's couch, exasperated. "Alice, I don't care what color the flowers are. I don't even care if there are any flowers at all!"
Edward laughed aloud. Alice looked scandalized. "Bella! You have to care! This is your wedding. You only get married once."
"Yeah. Right," I scoffed. "Edward told me about all of Emmett and Rosalie's weddings. You think we're not going to do the same thing?"
Edward smiled and took my hand. "Once is enough for me."
"And besides," said Alice, "The first one is the only one that really counts."
I shrugged. "I guess the sunflowers are okay," I said grudgingly.
They both grinned. "That's exactly what we were thinking," Edward said, giving my hand a squeeze.
Alice jumped off the couch before giving me a quick hug. "I'm so excited!" She practically squealed. She hurried out of the room and closed the door behind her.
As soon as the door closed, Edward pulled me close, kissing my ear. "Thank you for being so sweet about this," He whispered softly.
I felt a sudden pang of guilt. I wasn't being sweet at all. I was just dragging my feet. I told him so and she held me tighter. "No, love," He trailed his lips across my throat and my heart tried to be beat its way out of my chest. "You're being very, very good about this."
"You're not being very good right now," I gasped.
He pulled back slightly to look at me, eyes smoldering. "No, I'm not, am I?" I shook my head weakly and he pressed his lips to mine, pushing me back on the couch.
I kissed him back, running my hands along his back, butterflies going crazy in my stomach. "I told you we didn't have to wait anymore," He reminded me irresistibly.
"Yes, I know…but in order to keep our immortal souls safe…." I waved my left hand in front of his face.
He laughed, kissing the beautiful ring on my finger. "Yes, but you would tempt God, Bella."
"Prove it," I said hotly, reaching for him again. But of course he restrained me. He kissed me lightly on the forehead.
"I swear I will on our wedding night," I wrinkled my nose at the words. "Wedding night, wedding night, wedding night," He teased, then he held me close.
"We could cheat just a little," I suggested playfully. "No one has to know. Not even the big man upstairs."
"No, we couldn't. Especially not now," He moved us to a sitting position. "Alice is on her way upstairs to talk about centerpieces. I like the tea candles floating in water."
"Good. Fine. I like that one too. Now tell her to go away."
"Come in, Alice," He called softly.
The rest of the night passed in a blur of fabrics, colors, and pictures of things I really didn't care too much about. It seemed as though Alice was subscribed to every bridal magazine in the country.
Edward finally brought me home for dinner. I couldn't wait until I would no longer have to go through such trivial things as eating 3 times a day. I opened the front door, "Hi, Dad!" I called.
Charlie looked up from the television briefly. "How are the wedding plans going?" He asked sourly. I didn't think Charlie was going to take it too well when Edward and I announced our engagement, but at least he was taking it better than my mother.
"Excellent, thank you," Edward answered smoothly.
Charlie grunted and turned back to his baseball game.
I shrugged and turned towards the kitchen. "I'll get started on dinner, Dad." He grunted again, causing me to sigh.
Edward took my shoulders in his strong hands and kissed the side of my neck. "He'll come around," He whispered so Charlie wouldn't hear. "He's just afraid to lose you."
A wave of guilt washed over me. "He's going to lose me. As soon as this marriage business is over."
"Well, you could wait awhile…." Edward suggested hopefully.
"No," I replied softly but firmly. "I don't want to be any older than I have to."
Edward sighed as I began frying the chicken cutlets. "I can't understand your obsession with age. Please tell me what you're thinking."
I hesitated. He would think I was crazy, but I could tell out of the corner of my eye that he was growing impatient. "I already don't look like I belong with you," I said quietly.
He looked as though he would say something but held back. "Go on."
"And…well…now you want me to be a cradle robber too? How would it look for a thirty year old woman to be with a seventeen year old boy?" I demanded.
He laughed his sweet musical laugh. "Bella, you would hardly be cradle robbing. As you well know, I'm far from seventeen."
"Yes, but you look seventeen. And when I'm thirty, that's what I'll look like."
He laughed again and pulled me into a hug. "Bella, do you think I'll care? I don't want you changing just because you think I'm shallow."
"I don't think you're shallow," I mumbled into his chest. "I just want to feel good enough for you. And the sooner that I'm…like you…the better I'll feel."
I felt his cold lips brush the top of my head. "Okay, love. I told you from now on we'll do whatever makes you happy—and we will. I'll change you after the wedding. As soon as you're ready."
I looked up at him to see if he was telling the truth. He was but he didn't look very happy about it. I gave him a tight squeeze and turned back to the chicken before it burned.
Later that night in my warm room, Edward lay beside me, my personal air conditioner. He stroked my hair and back, humming softly, trying to soothe me to sleep. But something was on my mind. I cleared my throat. "Edward?" I asked.
He stopped humming for a moment. "Yes?"
I shifted so my face was turned up towards his. "Do you still think you don't have a soul?" I asked.
He stopped humming again. "Well, yes. So you can see my hesitation to change you."
"But, Edward," I said hurriedly. "How could you still be you without your soul?" I stared into his eyes and continued. "How can you feel and think the way you do with no soul? Wouldn't you just be an empty shell?"
He looked as though this had never occurred to him, which shocked me. He kissed the tip of my nose and smiled at me. "You've given me a lot to think about, Bella. I'll mull it over while you sleep." He began to hum my lullaby again, softly, sweetly as I finally fell asleep.