Disclaimer: Jack and Ianto don't belong to me, they belong to Russell T Davies, their wonderful writers, the BBC, and to John Barrowman and Gareth David-Lloyd for making us believe in them. I'm just borrowing them. I won't be washing them this time. Jack has this wacky idea that involves dragging Ianto into a carwash with him. If they survive, you'll get them back, and they'll be nice and clean. Please don't sue me. I make no money from this.

Author's Notes:

I couldn't help it. I've been wanting to write this for a bit. If you haven't seen Fragments, please do be aware there are going to be spoilers.

This has been beta read by the wonderful Tigerdust, however I should point out that I have completely disregarded some aspects of that beta reading. That means that whatever isn't right with this is entirely down to me. The truth is, I daydreamed about this idea a long time ago, before Fragments was aired, and really I just can't bear to relegate it to the bin.

If you read, I hope you enjoy it.

The Small Print

Just how many times did he have to do this in a day? Ianto delivered yet another cup of coffee to Jack, placing it within easy reach on his desk. The stairs alone must add up to some kind of exercise... but there was something he'd been wanting to discuss for some time now. Ianto didn't leave the office, but sat directly across from Jack in the chair before the desk and waited for him to look up from the paperwork.

"Ianto, what is it?" Jack said at last, as if he hadn't expected to be disturbed. Jack's eyes seemed to drink him in before moving distractedly away to the glass wall. Gwen was looking at them surreptitiously over her monitor. Jack suddenly frowned. "Hey, can I get some of those blinds, with one of those cool buttons for the desk? You know, where you just press the button and they shut?" Ianto felt vaguely terrified at the thought, and he stared at Gwen through the glass for a moment, noting how quickly she looked away from him. The stairs were really enough exercise.

"Er, yes," he said vaguely, not offering any sort of time scale, thankful when Jack didn't press him on it. "Erm... Jack?" Jack nodded for him to go on, and Ianto placed his hands deliberately on the arms of the chair to stop him from twisting them in his lap. "I really want to see a copy of my employment contract."

There. It was out, and Ianto watched as Jack leaned back in his chair and grinned. Such a devil. Of course Jack knew what this meant. "Oh?" Jack said, as if he didn't have a clue, and Ianto wanted to glare, but thought that might not get him quite what he wanted.

"Yes, I, erm..." Any more pauses and he wasn't going to be saying it. "I want to know what's in it... in, er, particular..." Guard dog sprang to mind, and he'd spared so many grimaces for that one in private that he could actually think of it now and only a slight wince escaped him.

"Yeah. I thought you would one day," Jack said, folding his arms in amusement as he watched Ianto's reactions over the desk. Oh, it was a mistake to give Jack all the power, wasn't it? Because look what he did with it. Ianto really wished it wasn't making him feel kind of hot, since he could do without that right now. Jack took an audible breath in. It was captivating. "I'll set some time aside to go through it with you," Jack promised, and something about that sounded so intimate that Ianto swallowed. "It'll take a while."

"Really?" Ianto bit his bottom lip a little. He hadn't thought it might be that bad. He cleared his throat again. "And, it's the one I...?" He remembered signing it, remembered not even caring what it contained as long as it gave him access. Though he did remember it seeming to add up to quite a few pages. It had stuck him as odd at the time, but he hadn't said anything.

"Oh, yeah," Jack said with a wicked smile, apparently able to finish off Ianto's thought on his own. "Frightened?"

Ianto huffed, deciding to hide it. "Not really..." He considered that statement carefully as Jack watched him. In fact, he considered Jack Harkness, and faltered. "Well..." Hadn't he once said Jack was innovative? Avant-garde? Ianto gulped. "Yeah..."

Author's Notes: Thank you for reading – again, I hope you enjoyed it.