Intentions

by Baka-Bird

A single decision, a moment of wavered intentions, changes everything. And now, two Second Exorcists are on the run, escaping the Church alongside Noise Marie as they set out to find someplace safe from the blood-washed war dogging their heels. Along the way, a young boy by the name of Red joins them, inevitably dragging Cross Marian along for the ride.

Intentions

Disclaimer: I do not own D. Gray-Man

AN: So this is a snippet I posted up on Tumblr a handful of days ago. You guys may thank dgmhallow for this. They posted up a sort-of prompt that I could not resist. Also since I am busy looking up references for the next chapter of Ethereal, I thought that maybe I could offer you guys this as a way to tide you over till its done and as an apology for being so slow/sweats.

Warnings: References to Gore and a small note of contemplating suicide. PTSD, Angst, the usual stuff I write. AU.

PART ONE

Sometimes Alma reminisces.

Unwillingly, bitterly, he remembers the night of their escape in all too vivid detail.

He remembers the moment when his entire world shattered, when his heart had been torn through with the sharp blade of betrayal as a tsunami of overwhelming apocalyptic wrath had threatened to consume what remaining sanity he had left. He remembers the lukewarm blood pooling around his ankles belonging to the two CROW who had attempted to burn him alive for fighting back against Yuu's scheduled murder, the CROW he had butchered in desperation. He remembers standing in front of the preserved remains of his former self alongside his fellow fallen comrades, wrapped lovingly in sickeningly pristine binds, blatantly labeling them as property of the church. As if they were nothing more than broken toys packaged up and put in storage.

He remembers how, in that single moment, the blinds of naivety and ignorance had been torn off his eyes with such ferocity that he had almost lost himself in his rage, had nearly forgotten just who he had retrieved his Innocence to protect, had been so close to loosing sight of the resolution which allowed him to become an Accommodator once more.

He remembers how in the span of a single heartbeat, he had been faced with a choice.

Standing at the crossroads of fate, one decision to consider was the burning desire to slit the throats of those who, in Cross's well worded opinion, had fucked them up on nearly every level so they could never again have the chance to continue such an atrocity or pass it on to their descendants, to kill the unawakened bodies sleeping so peacefully so that they may have the peaceful afterlife they deserved instead of letting them awaken into the cruel reality Alma had been forced to face head on. To cut down his precious person and commit suicide so they too could finally rest in peace, despite the promise between them remaining unfulfilled. To leave behind a bloodbath as a statement, a bold gruesome declaration to the Church, telling them that should they choose to commit such a sin again, more of their numbers would be dragged deeper into hell with every attempt.

All this against the impulse to take back the one who held his heart in both lives so they could continue on, so they could live the lives that had been cut off in their past incarnations before they could truly bloom like the Lotus Flowers that haunted his memories even now. To leave behind all the other sleeping Second Exorcists, sacrifice their own fates to the hands of those whom regard them as nothing more than animated dolls to be played with, tools to be used and tossed away at the Pope's leisure. To allow the Second Exorcist Project the chance to progress on just so Alma could scrape up enough time to find Yuu and escape from the Hell Hole that was Laboratory 6.

A righteous Damnation or a self-serving Salvation.

If the greatest evils are done with good intentions… Then what did that say about someone whom acted on their more selfish inclinations just so they could achieve peace?

And now sitting up in his ragged bedroll, being careful to keep his shifting from awakening Yuu and Red whom had taken to sleeping on either side of him for whatever reason, eyes burning with unshed tears, Alma stares up at the star studded sky with this question burning inside his heart with all the intensity of a supernova.

He still has yet to stumble upon the answer. And it suffocates him at times, the guilt and regret choking him in the dark hours when his mind is allowed to wander away from the distractions his comrades present in the form of Cross training them in the ways of evasion and fighting debt collectors and Akuma alike, in the form of Marie's comforting presence and pretty music, in the form of Yuu and Red, their spats, their strength and their support.

He hasn't allowed himself to come to terms with what has happened yet. But…

Crystal blue eyes cants across the campsite, to the sleeping forms of Yuu, Red, Marie, and Cross, resting his gaze on each of them, especially Yuu, with deep warm affection.

These people help him march on, help him live with his decision to escape in the end, and for that he is grateful.

000

AN: And that's it for part one. What do you guys think? I'm not sure if I'm going to keep this as a one-shot/snippet so I'll just mark it as incomplete until I decide what to do with it. Hope you guys like it.

Also if this isn't enough to tide you over then I'd recommend going to read MsMusicLover's Yulmallen AU Drabbles (It made me cry IT WAS SO GOOD) or even just scrolling through liketolaugh's fics (my god those fics are the reason why Allen/Link is now happening in Ethereal. I have been dragged into Pie Shipping Hell SAVE MY POOR SOUL) Hell, just go read WOFWalker's fics, they are fantastic I swear on my ancestor's graves. And let's not forget yesterdaysluminary's DGM fic over on Ao3, it's called That Shampoo from France and it focuses on the rare pair Kanda/Link. Trust me when I say it is a must read.

Anyways, thanks for reading and please leave a review on your way out~