Richard Castle had nothing against becoming overly emotional over a beloved character's untimely demise on TV, or the cancellation of a show before it's time, much like a certain space cowboy, but the thing of it was that he'd never seen Kate Beckett cry over a fictional character. She was Ms. Cool, the one he could always count on to be calm and collected in the face of most things; she hadn't shed a single tear over the terrible, awful series finale of a couple long-running shows. It was almost a written rule for her to lovingly tease the tears that would well up in his eyes. But then things changed.
It all happened after he'd returned home to their loft from a late night dash to the convenience store a couple blocks away to retrieve some of her favorite ice cream. He'd left Kate curled up in the nest of blankets on the couch, watching some fantasy show set a couple states over supposedly; not a half an hour later, he'd come home to find her curled over her obstructive stomach while clutching tissues in her hand, sobbing hysterically.
"Kate?" He tossed the bag containing the ice cream onto the counter and dashed over to his wailing girlfriend. "Kate, what's happened? Is it...the baby?"
"No!" She hiccuped while wiping her eyes-a useless tears just kept coming. "He's fine, it's Neal! Neal's the problem!"
Castle was surprised to hear another man's name, and thought back to all the stories of ex-boyfriends past that Kate had ever told him about, and though there were a few rotten eggs in the bunch, he'd never heard about any Neal. There was no Neal anywhere in Kate Beckett's past.
"Neal?"
"Neal Cassidy! They killed them, the heartless...idiots," She spat angrily. "They killed him and there's nothing anyone can do. It's for real this time. He just died and said he loved his dad! How could they do this to me, Castle?" Kate cried, promptly collapsing against his side; Castle put an arm around her shoulder, rubbing it with his hand in a soothing manner, hoping she would calm down soon. Even though she'd explained vaguely who this Neal guy was, he was still very confused as to why Kate was so upset at his passing. It wasn't like he was a real person or anything. Ha, he thought to himself, if only Kate was a mind-reader. She always had a field day reminding him that his favorite space captain wasn't real either, but this...this would really make her day.
"It's okay," He murmured against her hair.
"I just can't believe they would do that. It was out of the blue, and he was so important to the plot, you know?" He nodded, even though he had no idea what she was talking about. "He didn't even get to say goodbye to his son. Oh god! Henry! Henry doesn't remember!" That set off another round of wailing.
Oh, what he wouldn't give for this pregnancy to be over. He'd forgotten what the wild mood swings of a hormonal expectant mother could be like. But he loved this woman regardless of just how extreme her moods were and what she found to be upsetting and worth crying over, he loved her with everything he had, and if that meant sucking up his childish side and doing whatever he could to make her stop crying, then so be it. Richard Castle was not above sitting through three seasons of this show.
"Oh, Kate, it'll be okay. I'm sure Neal died for a greater purpose, didn't he?"
"Yeah," She sniffled again. "I guess he did."
"Than everything will be okay, won't it?"
He was not prepared for her reaction. She slammed her fist sharply into his thigh, releasing an angry sound. "Liar! You're lying just like they did."
"Who lied, sweetheart?" Yes, yes, pretend like it never hurt. Pretend like it doesn't hurt almost as bad as getting shot in a bulletproof vest.
"Everyone! They said he might get back to his son and make him remember, but he didn't get to do that! He didn't get to do anything! He didn't even get another chance with his true love."
Castle had to admit, that seemed like a pretty tragic storyline to him. Not like what happened on countless epic shows where ships got torn apart at the last second or were doomed from the start, but still, it seemed pretty sad. "Maybe...maybe he thought that what he was doing was right, that he'd have more time to do all of the things he wanted to do."
"What about you? Did you get to do all the things you wanted?" Kate mumbled against his shoulder, apparently worn out by feeling so much so fast.
"What?"
"What if our son never gets to meet you? Or he does, but he doesn't remember it?"
Castle pulled back to place his hands on either side of Kate's face and looked straight into her beautiful hazel eyes, eyes that could melt his heart. "What are you talking about, Kate? Of course I'm going to meet our son, and he is going to remember me. I promise."
Kate pushed his hands off, looking slightly guilty for doing so. "You can't guarantee that, Rick! You can never guarantee something like that! My mom wasn't able to guarantee that she'd see me graduate college, or get married or have my first child, or any of that! She wasn't able to guarantee that, and neither was Neal, fictional or not!"
Castle was honestly surprised at the fear that was lacing Kate's voice, the desperate anxiety of a woman who had lost so much in life already. She didn't want to lose himand go it alone with a newborn baby who didn't have a father.
"Kate, Kate, I know that no one is able to see what tomorrow holds, if it'll be their last day with their family, but I promise you that I will fight with everything I am, with my dying breath, to stay with you, both of you. Nothing could keep me from you."
The tears were back and streaming down Kate's cheeks as they stared into one another's eyes, trying to mentally tell the other just how much they truly meant to each other, attempting to convey the love and emotion that they were feeling at that moment. Castle felt an immense need to pull this amazing, strong woman back into his arms and embrace her worries away. They were valid worries that applied to both of them considering their work, or just the everyday, and even though it took a fictional character to reveal those worries, he wasn't about to disregard them.
"D'you think my mom fought to stay?"
Castle's heart skipped a beat. Kate looked back at him, suddenly very much the innocent teenage girl she'd been when her mother had been murdered, asking the question any person must ask themselves if a parent is killed in some unexpected way: did my parent love me enough to fight to stay with me? "Oh, Kate," He exhaled, reaching out towards her.
"No, no, I'm serious!" Kate said, crossing her legs as best she could, considering the advanced stage of pregnancy she had to contend with, and faced him. "I mean, I know that my mom loved so much, and that I'm probably just freaking out because of the hormones and stress, but do you think she was thinking about me when she died?"
Castle wasn't sure how to answer a question like that. How could you answer that? Everytime Johanna Beckett had ever been mentioned, or events that connected to her murder case leading to its progression towards an endgame, Kate had been dragged back to that time and all of the emotions and thoughts that she'd been feeling than would come rushing back. It almost killed her inside every single time. If he answered wrong somehow, than he would again be responsible. He had to be very careful in how he dealt with this subject around Kate, especially considering that she could have the baby at any moment.
"I think that your mother probably worried about what would happen to you and your dad without her, and she probably thought about all of the good times that you three had together, but I don't think that she would change one moment of her life. She loved her job, didn't she? And she loved you two. I don't think your mother had any regrets, except that she couldn't spend any more time with you. She loved you, Kate, so much, but don't dwell on the bad anymore, okay? Remember the good times you had," He placed his hand on her stomach. "And the good times you're going to have."
A smile unfurled itself on Kate's face and she crawled back into his arms, and as the two settled down to watch some old 90's sitcoms, he made a mental note to write a strongly worded letter to whomever decided it would be a good idea to kill off his wife's favorite character...and whoever decided to cancel his favorite show.
Maybe this time they'd answer his letter.
