Enough
'Cause when you had too much of something, you got sick of it
Where did all go wrong? When did it happen?
He didn't know. Perhaps it started in middle school or perhaps it started sooner, since elementary. After all, the bullying had started since elementary. But long time ago, at one point, they did care. They loved him and showered him with affection. Then something happened, time happened, life happened. All of them grew up, found new friends, gained popularity and had found something they did best. All, except him. His useless self just stayed alone and neglected. The bully got worse for his protectors weren't there to protect him anymore.
They were busy with themselves, with their own world, with their own friends and popularity. They didn't need him. He tried to say something, but was ignored. He was just another statue, another decoration in the house. He then learnt to keep silent. It helped with his try to be incognito, to make himself one with the background in hope to avoid more bullies.
They were his own family, but they were stranger to him. He lived with them but he doubted that they knew much about him. He knew them best. He loved them. He did know them well, but they never tried to understand him. They did not care whether he was happy or sad. He idolized them and hoped they were there for him. But they had changed. They were not the same person they used to be. Perhaps popularity and life got to them. They didn't have time for him anymore.
They and Him, two different worlds. One full of colors and people and the other dull and lifeless, full with sadness and loneliness.
They were his own brothers and family and he was Sawada Tsunayoshi, the youngest in Sawada family. He got two older brothers, Sawada Ieyasu or Giotto and Sawada Natsuyoshi or Natsu. Both of them were popular in school and had their own circle of friends. They were heir for big position in the Cosa Nostra. Giotto was to be the tenth boss of Vongola and Natsu was to be the boss of CEDEF, while Tsuna was supposed to be the innocent civilian who got nothing to do with the underworld. They had their guardians and tutors while Tsuna had no one.
The older ones always got attention. They had good looks, brain, and athletic body. Tsuna was just his clumsy self who tripped over his own feet. People expected him to be like his brother, but when he turned out not like them, people started insulting him and comparing him. He was only a shadow in the background who only put to light when someone needed to be blamed or when another hand was needed to help take over (most) the cleaning tasks. People praised, adored, and liked both Giotto and Natsu while Tsuna got mocked and bullied. The older brothers did not really know about what their youngest experienced for they got no time to care.
The older brother's life was full of colors. Their friends contributed to it. Laughs and friendly bickering often heard from their group. Their own parents always bragged them to neighbors and colleagues. However, sometime they forgot the youngest one. After all there wasn't anything to be bragged off from the youngest. The father, Iemitsu, was rarely in home so of course he didn't really know anything about his youngest. The mother, Nana, already got two perfect sons to dote that often she kind of neglected the youngest and duller son. She also thought the youngest as an independent and introvert kid who liked to keep to himself, so she let him be.
All of them just didn't care enough to put efforts and take time to look deeper, to try to understand, to open their eyes, mind and heart. All of them didn't realize until what dear to them got away.
Being the shadow, being compared, cannot be your own selves, cannot be seen as your own person.
He was shadowed by them as they stood so tall and bright. Always compared and criticized. He had enough of hearing whispered insults and critics. He had enough hearing 'why can't you be like them?' Enough of the hopeful face hearing his relation with his brother which then fell to disappointed face after knowing him. Could they not appreciate him as his own person?
It was hurt being compared for things that you did not even put effort or concern into. Things that did not explain yourself. They made a standard, but a double-standard one. Everything that his brother did well, he had to do it well too, but a thing he did well, no one took notice. People were so fickle. They said whatever they like without regarding the other's stances and then changed their mind if the results were not up to what they like.
At first they said 'you can do well, Tsuna, after all both of your brothers can do it,' then when he failed and kept failed, they said 'he was the bad apple, perhaps he don't get the good gene, he should be more like his brother.'
Everywhere he went in the town, his brothers became the standard for him. Even in his own home, he knew that he was the least favorite as he was not like his brother. Tsuna knew that every parent had their favorite child and he knew for sure none of his parents considered him as their favorite. Even without asking the question explicitly to his parents he knew the answer already. He had accepted it. Though he had accepted it, it did not mean that it did not hurt. It hurt. Badly.
"Hey, Tsuna, why don't you learn from your brothers? Be less Dame and become more like them." Hey, wasn't it easy to say something like that? But, hey, did you know that it wasn't easy hearing it? The frequent times of hearing it did not make it any easier. It still hurt. But, hey, once again who would care about what he felt, he was invisible, wasn't he? His brothers were so bright that they blinded people and made Tsuna just a shadow which went unnoticed.
They were the one that made him. They constructed who he was.
He was insecure. He was made of insecurities. Those critics, insults, and stigma were force to stick to him, making him believe that those were who he was. He could not reach his potential for he did not even know he had one. He did not believe in himself. He lost courage. He gave up before trying. Why he had to try when even if he succeeded no one would regard his success as a success? It would still be another failure in their eyes as it did not reach their standards.
The standard had been set by the society. He did not meet the requirements - or at least in their eyes – thus, he was a failure and he believed it for no one told him the other view. He did not have someone to really talk to, to teach him how the world worked, how the society worked, how to live a good life. He was blind and he tried to grope around to find his way. He learnt from what society told him and he believed everything. Unfortunately, everything said to him was negative, thus he regarded himself as failure.
It was killing. It was murder. They killed slowly. They hindered him from reaching his full potential, for becoming who he really was. They did not look past his failures and just condemned him to be forever a failure. They forced him to be dead, to become living statue.
Words from his mouth sometime contradicted what inside his heart. Smiling when inside he was crying.
He was stood up again for the fourth time this week. He didn't even know why he bothered to keep waiting and believing their words. He was tired and upset. Another promise was broken. They promised to have a dinner together and Tsuna had cooked. But, here he was, in the living room, clutching a phone after answering a call from Giotto. The older told him that both him and Natsu would not go home tonight and would have dinner at Takesushi. His mother was on a trip with her friends, so he was alone.
"I'm sorry Tsuna. Are you okay with it?"
"It's okay, Gio-nii. Just have fun with your friends. Tell Natsu-nii to also have fun," Tsuna faked a cheer. 'No, it is not okay. I'm home alone and lonely. I already prepared foods and can't finish them all.'
"Ah, okay. Don't forget to eat, just order a take out if you want. Don't stay up all night. And don't forget to brush your teeth before sleep."
"Don't worry Gio-nii. I can take care of myself. I'm not a little child anymore, you know?" Despite his words, Tsuna soaked at the small attention he was given. It was rare, after all.
"Hahaha but you'll always be my little bro. It is my job to worry about you. Okay then, just call me if you need anything."
"Hahaha you'll get wrinkle if you worry too much," Tsuna tried to joke even though inside he was not in the mood to joke at all. He wanted to just scream, throw things and cried to sleep.
"Hahaha whatever you say, Tsuna. Bye, take care."
"Bye, take care." Click. The connection was cut, leaving Tsuna alone with his own thoughts. With the end of the call, the house seemed to get colder. The large variety of foods on the table didn't seem appetizing anymore. It seemed another effort wasted away. Tsuna lost his appetite, but if not him then who would eat those foods. He then forced himself to walk to the table and eat, not minding the tears that already ran freely on his face.
"Ah, it tastes different from before," he mumbled to himself, "it's more salty."
Had you ever talked but wasn't listened at all, wasn't considered at all? Had you ever being innocent but was blamed, wasn't even given chance to explain?
Yes to both. Often. Who wanted to hear the Dame-Tsuna, the loser and useless kid from neighborhood? No one, not even his own family. They all got something better to do than hearing nonsense things from the loser. His words meant nothing, didn't mount to anything. Thus, he was often used as scapegoat by other kids. No one would believe his words. Heck, no one would even give him chance to speak.
"Hey Sho! Let's play soccer!" shouted a boy to his classmate excitedly.
"But I have cleaning duty, Osamu-kun," replied his friend dejectedly. Osamu's expression then turned sour before he finally remembered something that lit up his mood again. Osamu took the broom from Sho's hand. He looked around the class and his eyes fell on his target.
"Hey, Dame-Tsuna!" Osamu called to the brunet who was in the middle of putting his books to his bag for he just woke up. "Please replace Sho on his duty. We've got something else to do," Osamu said and without waiting for reply he threw the broom to Tsuna strongly, in hope to knock Tsuna's head – perhaps it would cure his uselessness. Unfortunately, he miscalculated his strength and the broom ended up hitting the window strongly and shattered it.
"Oops," said Osamu but then he shrugged, "it seems more work for you. Hope you won't make another mess, Dame-Tsuna."
Suddenly, the door of the classroom was opened. Nezu-sensei appeared. It turned out that Nezu left something behind in the classroom and wanted to get it.
"What did you do?!"
Osamu immediately chimed in, "Dame-Tsuna strikes again sensei." That sentence seemed to explain everything to Nezu and he turned to Tsuna. He glared at the brunet angrily.
"Sensei, it wasn't me. I d-" Tsuna tried to explain and defend himself but was cut off by Nezu.
"Why can't you do anything right, Dame-Tsuna? It was really a shame for elite like me to have a student like you. You should learn something from elite like me. But I suppose someone like you can't understand a single thing an elite like me try to teach. I hope that even an useless student – " And Nezu went on and on, talking highly about himself and degrading the brunet.
His situation with his own family wasn't better. He felt that his brother thought their friends and Famiglia more important than their own younger brother. He wasn't a priority in his brothers' eyes. Friends and Family came first.
"Gio-nii, Natsu-nii" Tsuna called his brothers as he put down drinks that he prepared for his brothers and their friends. They were in the backyard. All of his brothers' guardians were there too. They were in the middle of training regime set up by Reborn.
"Hmm?" Both Giotto and Natsu replied distractedly. Their attention was focused on their guardians, afraid if they moved their attention for a second their guardians would blow up the whole neighborhood.
"I've got something important to tell you both," Tsuna said softly.
Natsu turned to Tsuna, "What is it, Ts – MUKURO! Don't destroy the fence!" Natsu turned his attention to the mist guardian.
"Kufufufu… I do what I like to do!"
"You do that and I'll make sure you won't able to get any chocolate for a month!" threatened Natsu.
"… You can't do that."
"Try me!"
"… Kufufu.. Perhaps later"
"Now, all of you guys behave! I'm in the middle of conversation with my brothers here."
"What's wrong Tsuna?" asked Giotto.
Tsuna fidgeted. "Um.. I.. I.. Y-you guys know that the school is about to end right? And a new year will start soon. And I.. I w-want to tr – " Tsuna was cut off by an explosion.
Both Giotto and Natsu turned to their guardians and immediately took actions. They stood up to scold their guardians, leaving Tsuna behind. Another round of bickers started. When all had calmed down, the brothers almost forgot about Tsuna but when they remembered Tsuna was already gone. They just shrugged, thinking Tsuna had something else to do. Then, the conversation was forgotten.
Little did they know, Tsuna had gathered his courage to say something really important to them, but the ignorance made him lost his courage. Little did they know that it was really important for their life and relationship as family.
If only they tried to listen and wanted to spare a moment to really look at Tsuna closely, they would find that Tsuna was in turmoil and had had enough of all the ignorance. They would see that Tsuna had made a decision.
Another place to call home.
It was during school field trip to another town that he finally found someone that saw him as Sawada Tsunayoshi. In Namimori, all people knew him as Dame-Tsuna and compared him with his brothers. But during that short trip, he made friend. He was free from his brothers' shadows.
It started as an accident actually. His clumsy self just got himself separated from the group and lost. Fortunately, he got help and things got better. On the rest of the field trip, he separated himself from his group and spent the day with his savior. Then and there Tsuna felt that a stranger got to know him better than the rest of his classmates. After the trip ended, they still kept in contact. Tsuna confided everything to his newfound friend, the one who willing to listen to him.
At one point, several thoughts struck Tsuna. If staying just kept hurting him, why did he stay? What chances there that a better life was out there waiting for him? Perhaps he could start a new life outside of Namimori, where no one knew him or his family. Why he kept trying to hold on something that did not want to be held?
He had enough. He did not want to feel left behind again, to feel neglected, ignored, and abandoned. He did not want to feel insignificant. He wanted to be seen as his own person. He craved for attention and affection.
This time Dame-Tsuna would also make his move. This time Dame-Tsuna would try. He would find the place he could finally call home. The place where he lived in right now was just the shadow of what once was his home. He could no longer feel the warmth of family there. The warmth was still there but just not for him. It was still there only for his brothers and the new 'Family' which he was not included in. Tsuna would move out from his house to search for a better home.
The break down point, in which certain event happened that pushed him to a decision.
Tsuna did not wish a lot of things for his birthday. He didn't ask for a great party or many gifts. When he woke up at the day of his birthday, he only hoped that someone remembered and gave little appreciation. However, as the day went on, his wish changed. He just wished the day to end. He was so tired and he felt so alone. The bully got worse on school for it seemed the students got a little bit stressed because of the upcoming mid-term exam, thus they let out their stress on Tsuna. Some also got physical, a 'little' push here, a 'little' slap on the back, a stretched out leg here and there, a 'little' jab on ribs, etc.
Tsuna expected his family might remember his own birthday. But, what was the say – 'Expectation may make the fall harder, more hurt and disappointed.' He came to an empty house. There was just a piece of paper on the table – a note.
'Tsu-kun. We're sorry to leave you. We go out to celebrate Reborn's birthday in Takesushi. Yesterday was his birthday. We also want to celebrate Natsu's so we decided to combine their party. We waited for you for 2 hours but the kids are impatient. If you want to join us, just go to Takesushi.'
Tsuna stared blankly at the paper. He felt numb. The pain was so intense that it left him numb. Tsuna let his eyes strayed to the photograph on the wall. Three boys were smiling brightly while a man and a woman looked at them softly while holding them warmly. The photo captured the love of family, froze the time of better and happier life, when everything much simpler.
"I still love you guys, Gio-nii, Natsu-nii, Kaa-san, Tou-san… But.. I don't know, loving can be so hurt like this." Tsuna murmured to the dark house. Even though it hurt, he could not stop loving them, for they all he had, they were the one that gave him the happiest memories in his life.
"Happy birthday to me. Happy birthday Sawada Tsunayoshi. I'm glad you were born. For you can meet your family," he added again. If there was no one who was happy for his birthday, for his existence, at least let him be grateful for his own self.
The Unsaid Goodbye.
He had waited for a few months before he approached his mother and told her his intention. Just like what he expected, his mother just said yes and thought that he finally matured, that he finally could be independent. Then Tsuna just went on with the flow and said not to tell the others yet. Tsuna needed to gather his own courage to tell his brother, but unfortunately when he finally had it, he lost it fast as his brothers did not even pay him attention long enough to hear what he wanted to say. Therefore he decided to say it the day before he left.
Tomorrow was finally the day and today was the day when Tsuna would tell them and said his goodbye. He woke up really early, hoping that he could spend the day with his brothers. It was already holiday, thus they got all day.
Nana cooked a big breakfast for the boys. She was the only one who knew of the youngest plan. She a little bit worried for Tsuna was her youngest and yet he was the first to leave the house for long period. She decided to dote on him before he went.
"Mom, what's with the big breakfast?" asked Natsu.
Nana smiled, "My boys are still growing so of course they need a lot of food." She then looked at her youngest. "Tsu-kun, eat up. I'm afraid that you won't eat enough and get sick. Please take care of yourself more. I can't take care of you forever that now you decide to be independent."
The other two boys raised their eyebrows at their mother's last sentence while the said boy just nodded and ate. He decided to soak up the attention his mother gave to him. He threw a soft smile at his mother. Seeing his smile, Giotto ruffled his spiky brown hair, making Tsuna looked up at him.
"Gee, Tsuna. You're so adorable." Giotto let out a chuckle. The said brunet blushed.
"Of course, he is my twin," affirmed Natsu in a way that he also praised himself. Giotto rolled his eyes.
"No, you are not. Tsuna is." Giotto replied. Natsu glared at him while Giotto just smiled disarmingly. The tension raised.
"Boys, eat up! The foods are getting cold. Don't you like the food?" Fortunately Nana cut in as she let out a seemingly innocent smile.
"Yes, Mom," both obeyed and start eating their food.
Few minutes passed in comfortable silence, but it was broken by a timid voice.
"A.. Ano… Nii-san," Tsuna asked hesitately. As he did not specify which brother he called, both turned to him.
"Hm?" hummed Giotto in respond while Natsu replied with, "Yes, Tsuna?"
"Em.. do you guys have any plan for today?" asked Tsuna.
"Nope, I don't think so," answered Natsu while Giotto just shook his head. The answer lit up Tsuna's hope.
"Then can we spend the day together? If you guys don't mind," Tsuna asked hopefully.
"Of course, we can," Giotto ruffled Tsuna's hair again, "what do you want to do? Where do you want to go?"
Tsuna took a moment to think. "Hmm… the park? Or we can just stay at home playing video games and watch movies."
"Hmm. Let's go to the park, you need more fresh air, Tsuna," Natsu said his preference.
Giotto let out a chuckle, "I agree with Natsu, you need to go out more, Tsuna."
Tsuna pouted in answer. It was not that he did not want to, it was just he was tired and had enough of the whispers, the gossips, and the bully.
"I just prefer to stay at home." Tsuna replied softly. He could not say the real reasons, could he? That he would just get harassed mentally and physically if he went outside, especially if he met someone from school or someone who knew about his contrasting reputation with his brother, which was pretty much the whole town. How they could not know that there were a black sheep in the Sawada family, when two of the sons were so popular as ideal son, boyfriend, colleague, next door boy, student, leader, you name it. Their circle of friends also added points to their reputation.
"Okay then let's go, to the park it is," Tsuna suddenly grabbed his brother's hands and dragged them to the door.
"Waw, you seem so excited today, Tsuna. What happened?" asked Natsu as he put on his shoes.
"Um, nothing. It's just been a long time since the last time we spend the day together," answered Tsuna softly. The answer pricked the brothers' heart, making them felt guilty. They realized that they had not been spending time with the youngest. Natsu and Giotto shared a glance, doing communication with their eyes. They reached an understanding that today they would make it up to Tsuna.
"Yup, then let's go, we have to use this day to the fullest and play hard. Natsu, hurry up!"
Tsuna was happy that the day had a good start. He hoped it would stay like that until the end. He had promised himself to let them know at the end of the day. Unfortunately, once again it seemed lady luck hated him.
They were in the park, just enjoying the evening scenery and the cool wind which were playing with their hair. They took a rest after spending the afternoon walking around the town and did many things. Tsuna decided it was the time. He would say it to his brothers.
"Gio-nii, Natsu-nii," he called as he looked up from the ground.
"Thank you for today, I am really happy," he said as he let out a grateful smile which made his older brothers also smiled.
"No problem, Tsuna. We also had fun today," replied Natsu.
"Um, yeah, it was a pleasure to us, so don't worry. We're brothers don't be so stiff with us. What happened to that chirpy little Tsuna who cannot stay silent?" teased Giotto, making Tsuna flushed.
Natsu let out a chuckle. "Hey, I think we shall hang out together more just like old times," suggested Natsu as he suddenly got the idea.
Tsuna's expression suddenly fell. Both Giotto and Natsu noticed it.
"Hey, what's wrong Tsuna? You don't like it?" asked Natsu concerned.
Tsuna shook his head. "No, I like it." He then turned away from his brothers and looked down. He was sad because when finally his brother took notice of him again it was already too late. He would not be able to join another outing with his brother like this again. He had made his decision. And now was the time to tell them about his decision. But it was difficult to voice it out.
They were waiting for Tsuna's elaboration. When it seemed Tsuna did not elaborate again, Natsu decided to ask again. "Then, what's wrong, Tsuna?"
Natsu got a bad feeling. His intuition told him that something was wrong with Tsuna. Giotto felt the same. His intuition was also acting up. Something was definitely wrong.
"The thing is.. I… I.. I can't.." said Tsuna softly still looked at the ground.
"Can't what?" asked Giotto while at the same time Natsu asked, "Why?" It seemed the twin got a clearer understanding of Tsuna's words. Giotto then looked at Natsu, asking for explanation and the look on Natsu's face gave it.
Tsuna finally decided to man up and looked up to his brothers. "It's because I have to.. I need to.. I will.." Tsuna did not know which words to be used. "I will go – "
His words were cut off and the somber atmosphere was disrupted by shouts.
"GIOTTO~!" "JYUUDAIME~!"
"Look I found Jyuudaime first, you old man! I'm a better right hand man."
"Stupid brother, I also found Giotto at the same time. They are also at the same place. It doesn't mean anything." It seemed a bicker would about to start.
"But it was my idea to look here," replied the younger one.
"And I just happened to have the same idea," replied the older one.
"Maa, maa, it's okay guys, the important thing is we found both Giotto and Natsu." Yamamoto tried to calm both G and Gokudera.
The commotion made the Sawada brothers forgot about their current conversation.
"Hey guys, what's the matter?" asked Giotto.
"Hey Giotto, where were you all this day?" asked Asari back.
"I just have some quality time and bonding time with both Natsu and Tsuna." Saying Tsuna's name, made him remember that they were in the middle of rather serious conversation before. Giotto immediately turned his attention back to Tsuna without waiting his friends' response to his words.
"Tsuna, sorry, what were you saying before?" asked Giotto.
"Ah, it can wait. You can finish your conversation with your friends first Nii-san," answered Tsuna, trying his best to hide the dejected tone that almost slipped out. He had gathered his courage and once again something happened disrupted the moment.
Both Giotto and Natsu looked at Tsuna, in which Tsuna just smiled reassuringly at them. The newcomers were a little bit confused of what was transpired between the brothers, so they just stayed silent. Tsuna was able to assure his brothers.
"Okay, so why are you guys looking for me?" asked Giotto.
"At first we just wanted to hang out together, but then Reborn called. Something important he said. He called for a meeting via video conference." G reported. Hearing Reborn's name, the Vongola and CEDEF bosses immediately tensed up.
"When?" asked Natsu.
"As soon as possible," replied Gokudera.
The oldest and middle Sawada looked at each other, then turned to their youngest. "Tsuna, is it okay if we go ahead?" asked Giotto.
"We can continue our conversation at home tonight," added Natsu.
Tsuna nodded. "It's okay Nii-san. Be careful and send my regards to Reborn."
Natsu and Giotto stood up and they hurriedly walked away with their Rain and Storm guardians, leaving Tsuna alone. "Bye Tsuna," they said in rushed.
"Ah, goodbye and take care," whispered Tsuna sincerely. This one was not a simple greeting at the end of meeting. It was a real sincere goodbye. He had a feeling they would not meet again tonight.
And Tsuna was right. He waited and waited until the middle of the night, but they did not come home. Morning was about to come and it was time to go. Tsuna had not said his goodbye yet. But it was okay (not – if he was honest), because he was used to be forgotten and not being heard.
When the sun rose, one of the rooms in Sawada residence became unoccupied. When Giotto and Natsu came home, without they realized it Tsuna was long gone.
It was too late. Realization came late and regret came later.
In the end they did not go home as they had to handle a little skirmish in the outer part of the town which then escalated to full blown fight. They were tired and they just wanted to sleep for the day. They got back home around 8 A.M. and went straight to bed. They woke up for lunch. Nana had already heated up the food and prepared the meals on the table beforehand as she went out to grocery shopping.
It was so quiet with just the two of them in the house. No Reborn, no destructive guardians, no guns, just the two of them. It had to be lonely if someone just stayed home alone in this kind of silence. Did Tsuna feel lonely? Speaking of Tsuna, where was he?
"Hey, Natsu, where is Tsuna?"
Natsu shrugged, "Perhaps he go outside, it is so quiet so I don't think he's home."
"Hmmm," responded Giotto. Then they fell to silence. Few seconds passed before Giotto seemed to remember something.
"Hey!" exclaimed him, "we haven't heard what Tsuna wanted to say yesterday. We promise to talk at night, but we got back at morning."
Natsu's eyes widened, "Ah yes, we have to apologize to him and ask him to continue our conversation yesterday."
Giotto nodded and they continued to eat. Their tired body made them ignored their buzzing intuitions which were trying to tell them something.
Night came and dinner was about to be served but there was still no Tsuna. The brothers were starting to get worried. However, seeing that their mother was not worried, they could still keep their calm.
Dinner was served and they started eating. There was still no Tsuna. The boys started feeling uneasy and shared a look. They decided to ask,
"Mom," started Natsu.
"Hm?"
"Where is Tsuna? Does he tell you where he goes?" asked Natsu.
"Yeah, won't he come home for tonight?" added Giotto.
The questions from the boys surprised Nana. "Ara, silly boys don't you remember?"
"Remember what?" asked Natsu clueless.
Seeing the genuine confused and clueless expression on her sons's face made Nana realized that they really did not know. "Don't you guys know? I thought Tsuna had told you both," Nana asked back.
The boys shared another look. Bad feeling started to creep out. "Told us what?" asked Giotto. He felt his throat suddenly got dry and decided to drink his water.
"Ah, didn't he say his goodbye yesterday? Tsu-kun has moved out this morning. He transferred school," explained Nana, gaining shocked reaction from her sons.
A sound of chopstick falling and hitting table was heard. A choked sound was also heard. Giotto choked on his water and sprouted some water while Natsu froze and dropped his chopstick.
"W-w-why..? w-w-when…?" stuttered out Natsu.
"He said to be more independent. My Tsu-kun is growing up, ah why is it so fast?" Nana propped her chin on her palm, "Ah he has planned it since a few months ago I think."
Few memories surfaced on both Giotto and Natsu's mind. Finally they noticed the signs. Tsuna who always wanted to talk to them, Tsuna who seemed hesitant, who seemed to become more distance, who seemed troubled, who often went home with bruised, who was always alone, who seemed lonely, who always happy to spend time with them, who tried to reach out but no one reach back, who wanted to say goodbye but wasn't able to, who wanted to spend his last day with his brothers.
They finally pieced it together and they felt like they were poured by cold water. They felt like a jerk and a failed brother. They said they care about Tsuna and loved him, but in fact they also neglected him. They did not even realize that their brother was suffering. They were able to see the bigger picture and the real reason why Tsuna moved out. Their youngest brother was bullied and they let him faced it alone. They let it escalated and Tsuna – their kind, loving, forgiving brother – was hurt badly. And worse, they thought they also contributed in hurting Tsuna. They often broke their promise to Tsuna, forgot about him and ignored him.
'Oh, God, we left him alone on his birthday? I'm his twin and I didn't remember it. Tsuna is always so quiet while most our friends are so noisy, he is drowned by the crowd our friends made that we simply forgot him,' thought Natsu. 'Oh Tsuna, I'm so sorry.'
"Kaa-san, where does he go to?" asked Natsu.
"Hmm.. wait, he actually didn't exactly say where he would move out to. Or do I just forget it? Hmmm… Ah he says about living with a friend though. He asked for my permission and I just kinda gave him the green light without further question. I'm just happy that Tsuna is growing up and making friends. Ara what should we do? We don't really know where he is, do we?"
"Don't worry Mom, I'll look out for more information tomorrow," assured Giotto. Nana threw a grateful smile to her oldest son. Then they continued their dinner, though, two of them did not have the appetite anymore.
The next morning, Giotto's and Natsu's friends were worried for their friends as they got message to go to their house. The tone of the message seemed urgent.
The guardians found their bosses in gloomy atmosphere. Both Sawadas had eye bags and their hairs were in mess. Both of them also seemed busy with their phone. Giotto just finished a phone call with who seemed to be Reborn.
Natsu was the first who saw the guests and called his brother. Both of them then started telling their friends of the real situation and asked for their help in searching their brother. Hearing the story, the guardians also felt guilty. They thought that they had not tried to know Tsuna better. They did not really try to get involved with him and they also did not realize the bullying that Tsuna suffered from. All of them were a bunch of ignorant fools.
That day they started to do thorough investigations and searching. They looked for places that Tsuna possibly went to. They used their mafia extensive information hub and also Hibari's information hub. Few days passed, but unfortunately they got nothing. It seemed Tsuna covered his track well and knew what he did. It seemed if he did not want to be found he would not be found.
Giotto and Natsu would not give up easily. They still had to apologize and make it up with Tsuna. Even if it took years, they would find Tsuna. They would bring Tsuna home. But, the question were 'Do Tsuna even want to go back 'home'?' and 'Is what Tsuna considered home the same as theirs home?' Wouldn't they need to consider these questions?
Meanwhile, a spiky haired brunet had arrived in his destination. He took many detours and changed transportations few times to cover his trail. He would make sure that he would have time and be free. Vongola's resources in Japan were not as much as it was in Italy. Tsuna could do just fine in avoiding detection.
Now, it was time to start a new life, to find himself and become who he really was.
A/N: HAPPY BIRTHDAY SAWADA TSUNAYOSHI! I really rushed this story so I can post it on Tsuna's birthday hahaha XD
To be honest I'm not satisfied with this one as it don't come out as what I imagined before. But I hope you like it.
Do you want me to continue this guys? Actually my idea for this story is a crossover one *hint : the new friend of Tsuna*, but I still can't decided which anime/manga to be crossover with. In my mind it was whether, Kuroko, Nurarihyon, or even Bleach XD
So, please review~ :)