I get frightened in all this darkness.
I get nightmares, I hate to sleep alone.
I need some company, a guardian angel.
To keep me warm, when the cold winds blow.
~Eddie Money

Haruka wakes up with a start, sitting up straight in his bed and panting slightly as he glances around the room with anxious deep blue eyes; trying to regain a grip on reality even as the remainder of his dream rolls through his mind like smoke over water.

All that he could remember, flitting to the front of his mind as fast as a bird in flight. The thoughts curled, losing substance with each passing moment.

After taking a few moments to steady his breathing, he finally relaxed himself enough to look over at the clock. His alarm isn't suppose to go off for another three hours, based on the glaring red digits...

Odd.

He decides, pushing the blanket away from his chest and slipping his legs out of the tangled mess, he dangles them over the edge of his bed and takes another look around.

I haven't had a nightmare, like that in awhile.
Though, nightmares are a normal occurrence for him. Over the years, Haruka has found tricks to sooth himself.

He hasn't needed sleeping pills, for many years now. Eighteen, was how old he was, when they where finely prescribed. By the age of nineteen, Haruka was literally tired of them.

Haruka still has nightmares though, something he never intends to divulge. Not to anyone, least of all his ex-doctors.

Haruka takes another look around, His apartment is chilly – It's always been that way – it holds him to a lonesome feeling that he's never cared for.

The room felt too big for him, the bed too large when he tends to keep to one side of it... Even the hallowed out shelves at the head of the mattress only held necessities; his alarm clock, cell phone, and one family photo.

The rest were as empty as the rest of his living space. Perhaps he never did properly settle. Well, it's only been six years.

"Meow."

The sudden trill made him jump off the bed, startled for a moment before shaking his head. A corner on his mouth lifted, as he saw his cat gazing up at him with big honey eyes that reflected in the dim light of the open curtains, to make them seem far brighter.

Chika, a small ball of white fur patched in orange and black, purred loudly in the otherwise quiet room. She trotted over with tail held high and wrapped back and forth around the rough fabric covering Haruka's legs. Bending down he lifted her up around the shoulders, earning a indignant squawk before bringing her in close, and the deep persistent purring resonating from her little body made him feel better. She always did know when he began to over-think.

Knowing he wouldn't be getting anymore sleep any time soon, with Chika still cuddled against his chest he crossed over his cold bedroom floor and pushed past the bathroom door.

First thing, he set down the calico in her sink, where she 'murred' thankfully and set to start washing her already silky-soft fur.

He didn't turn a light on, it was light enough to see despite the dusky hue on all surfaces, but maybe that was a bad idea; After moving towards the tub and turning the tap to run warm water, his thoughts where yet again free to drift to darker places again, namely about his dream... Whether he wanted them to or not. But he aloud himself to recall what had been so disturbing about about it; he couldn't exactly describe it as a nightmare.

I'm not sure- it shouldn't have scared me so much... Haruka was so lost in thought, before he knew it the bath was was nearly flooded over. Releasing a deep sigh, he pulled back up to his full height and began stripping off his sleepwear, consisting only of a light blue sweater and gray sweats. After being properly naked, he slid into the warm water, not caring as excess spilled over the sides at his added weight. Chika was now curled up contentedly in the sink, and he drifted somewhat while watching the rise and fall of her belly.

Haruka's only known that lonely feeling once before. Just after his grandmother died, he had a strange dream then too.

He didn't like the feeling, always tried his best to push it away despite it's best efforts to consume him. Suddenly Rin's voice breached his mind, brusque as usual "You can't just push feelings away. It'll make things worse for everyone. Take it from someone with experience on the matter."

What am I suppose to do then? Haruka wondered with a slight roll of his eyes. Maybe starting from the source? It had gone unnoticed to himself until bringing Chika into his life, but others had commented on the predicament of his apparent unhappiness long before. Moving to the city hadn't been a big deal for him. His parents visited even less now that he lived closer, and that didn't bother him as much as it probably should.

Rin had moved here a little before him, so it's not like he didn't have any friends to keep him company. They had even been roommates for short while Haruka started sorting out his new life. He eventually found the restaurant looking to hire and managed an apartment nearby, to this day it was his humble abode. And Rin had taken in his boyfriend since then, he often visited them; they where already starting to talk about marriage and children, though he supposed it's really been a long while now that they've been together.

I wonder what that would be like. Haruka mused. He rarely ever let himself think about children, despite his supposed responsibility to someday wed a woman and produce a family, as he is an only child. His parents wanted grandchildren? Wouldn't they ignore them as much as they had himself, leaving him all alone... Alone. Something about that never seemed to ring right.

I don't remember always being alone...? Every so often something will remind him of... something. On stormy nights, this shiver will travel down his spine and it's not related to his adversary with thunder; It's strange, like he's been caught in the bright headlights of a truck, life or death knowledge guarded by a hill until it's too late.

Kids... two of them...soft smile...green glinting like gemstones...The memories are always fragmented, to the point he doesn't deign them to be real anymore. But the odd feeling attached to them never shakes, he can't seem to push that away as easily as his loneliness. And no amount of soul searching would ease him in describing it.

Chika can feel his change in mood of course, and turns to him. He translates her low meow to something like, "The waters getting cold, you should get out and put yourself to some use. Like feeding me, preferably."

"...Fine." he says, willing his limbs to move. Chika simply purred loudly.

Haruka couldn't really complain, she took care of his usual problem of being late for work; he could spend hours just becoming a prune in the water.

Pulling himself out of the tub, Haruka dried himself with a fluffy blue towel from the hook on the door. Rubbing it though his hair and crossing to the closet.

Finding an out fit was rather easy, picking out a pair of tan dress pants and a t-shirt; his chefs coat and hat where left at the restaurant.

Haruka brushed cat hair off his work pants as he stood in front of the mirror, picking up his backpack which was propped up at the foot of the reflective glass.

He slowly followed after Chika, who had jumped down from the sink and bounded down the hall towards the kitchen.

Flopping his backpack down on the dinning room table, before joining his hungry cat in the kitchen. Haruka's apartment, is very spacious.

He often wonders why he lives alone in such a big house, there's a living room right next to the dinning room, which was set up with a couch and two armchairs.

The dining table has five chair around it, and Haruka has never even had five friends over at one time. The kitchen is decent in size, though not two big as most of the space being taken up by the living and dinning rooms. Then his large bedroom, with walk-in closet and bathroom. Also, one guest bedroom that no one has ever used, in his six years of living here.

Haruka sighed, leaning down to the bottom cupboard to scoop out some cat food, by Chika's empty bowl, he filled the ceramic with a clatter.

Packing the scoop back in the bag, he closed it up once more. Standing tall again, Haruka watches his cat eating, hands on his hips. Then taking a deep breath and looking around, he begins preparation of his lunch.

The pan on the stove starts to sizzle as he watches it carefully, filling the room with the smell of frying fish.

Letting the stove do its job, Haruka turned to the sink and filled his water bottle, closing it securely and setting in on the counter to grab later.

Turning off the heat for the fish, Haruka moves to the slow cooker and starts dishing out rice.

Then packing everything up, he heads back towards the dinning room to stash his lunch in his backpack.

Chika was already there, having finished her breakfast, she lay sprawled on the table by his backpack, a deep purr rumbling though her slight body.

"Don't give me that, you know I have to go to work." Haruka told her. Chika would often curl up on top of his bag before he had to leave, making it twinge at his heart to have to move her.

She's too smart for her own good.

Grabbing his packed bag, Haruka slings a strap over one shoulder, reaching out his other hand to pet gently at Chika's head.

"Be good while I'm gone." He tells her.

The purring cat doesn't move as he crosses the room to the door, pulling it open and then closing it behind him.

Putting a hand in his pants pocket to fish out his key, once he did he turned and lock the door. Stuffing the key away again, Haruka took the stairs, walking slowly, he had time even though he also had four flights of stairs to walk down.

"Morning Nanase-san." the lady on the second floor greeted him.

"Good morning, Suzuki-san."

She brushed a strand of hair behind her ear and asked, "I was wondering if you could watch Mai next week for me?"

"Fine." Haruka stated, Mai being his neighbor's aging orange tabby cat. Suzuki-san often visited family, once every month, so Haruka had already pet sat Mai a few times.

Chika and him got along rather well, so it worked out for everybody. "Thanks. You're a dear."

Haruka pulled on his backpack properly, "Chika likes when he visits." he told her.

Suzuki-san smiled gently, "Well, I don't mean to keep you, have a nice day at work."

"Thanks." he replied, turning away from her with a polite wave, heading for the last flight of stairs.

Then crossing the simple entry way, it had mail boxes on one wall, a table with flowers on it.

Pushing though the glass doors and into the morning sun. Haruka had to blink a few times to adjust to the bright lighting.

Haruka headed right, following his normal path to work. He passed other buildings, houses mostly, one other apartment complex, passed that he got towards more of a shopping area.

A few firefighters where washing a shiny truck in the nice weather, one of them waved to him, joined by others he only knew by sight. Haruka waved back, the man was his bosses husband; Haruka was often greeted by him; though he didn't know much about him, they where fleeting acquaintances.

About three buildings down from the fire house, was the restaurant he works at, as the head chef.

Work was busy as usual, the fast pace and shouting calls had become apart of life. The heat in the kitchen was stifling, with stoves and ovens on, the hustle and bustle of workers moving back and forth.

"Haru?" his boss asked, tapping up to him in slight heels a few menus clutched to her chest. "Are you feeling well?"

She added to her question, as she stepped closer to him.

"Fine." Haruka said, string today's soup special on the stove, clam chowder, which needed to be ready in time for the lunch time rush.

"You don't look it." she said stubbornly, setting the menus down on a pile, where one of the waiters snapped them up and went out onto the main floor to greet the party of people that had just walked in.

"Tell me." she continued, "you look like you didn't get any sleep."

"Haru!" another waiter exclaimed, "I need three pancake meals, and some scrambled eggs." He clipped the note up where the chef could get at it.

"Neco," Haruka turned to one of his co-workers, "start the eggs."

She nodded the affirmative, moving to do just that in the already warm kitchen and the day had barely started. Haruka glanced around at his staff, knowing they could handle things while he talked with their boss. The waiters danced in and out of everything, taking finished orders out to the customers. While the staff shouted back and forth to each other, as they worked to prepare each dish to the letter.

"I don't know, what to tell you," Haruka said, turning back to her, "...that you haven't already heard over and over, you're gonna get tired of me."

"Haru," she whispered, "I've known you a long time, I haven't gotten tired of you yet, so I doubt I ever will, but if you need time off, you have to tell me."

"I'm fine." Haruka says again, this time with a little more conviction, "but I promise, if it gets any worse, I'll take time off."

"Thank you." she smiles, a little sadly, "I'll let you get back to it."