Angela the Vampire

Angela was at a party. She felt like crap. All the other girls were prettier than her, and that made her feel shitty. She was drinking loads to forget about it.

Suddenly a very sexy guy with a pony tail and really hot six-pack (of abs, she didn't like beer so she drank cider) and no shirt on came over to her.

"What is a lovely young lady doing here in a great depression all alone?" he asked sympathetically like a spider.

"Oh, I'm just resting my feet," said Angela who didn't want the hot guy to think she was a wallpaperflower or anything!

"My name is James," said the hottie. "Wanna go for a walk in the moonlight?"

Angela couldn't believe that this super handsome sexy dude wanted to go for a romantic moonlit walk with her, of all the girls present. She didn't need to be asked twice. He took her hand, and they walked outside and into the forest. Suddenly she felt a pain in her neck, as if something was biting her, and the world turned black.

When she woke up, she had the hang-over of her life, and it seemed to last for days. She finally managed to scramble to her feet and head home. On the way she noticed several posters about a missing girl who looked very much like her, but she was too worried about what her parents were going to do to her to really notice what her name was or anything.

She managed to sneak in through an open window, and headed for the shower. There was something weird about her skin, she realized. Must be a reaction to alcohol. She had never been that drunk before. Then she saw her reflection in the mirror.

Oh her gawsh, she was fucking beautiful!11! Her face looked completely different; Her nose was smaller and straighter, her lips fuller, her chin more defined and her cheekbones high and regal. Also her hair had changed. It wasn't regular curly anymore, but falling around her face and shoulders in soft, silken waves like the feathers of a raven in a midnight rosegarden in the moonlight. The only thing not so pretty was her eyes, that were fucking red. But that was probably to be expected after a night on the binge.

Her body was different too! It looked like her boobs had grown two sizes from B to D, but they were super perky and bouncy. She was thinner and more muscular all over, probably a perfect size 4 now. A sudden realization dawned on her: This was why all the bad girls were so pretty! Alcohol made them that way! She couldn't wait to see the faces of Lauren and Jessica!

She threw on some clothes and sunglasses and went shopping. Now that she had the perfect body, she was deffo going to show it off. She bought herself several pairs of skinny jeans and a couple of leather pants, a few mini skirts, corsets, sexy tops and short dresses. Most of it was black and pink, her favourite colour combo. SEXXXXXXAAAHHHH!

She also got some brown contacts, since her awful red eyes were pretty unsightly.

Angela chose a pair of leather shorts and a sexy laced bra with pink ribbon roses on to wear for her first day as her new self. Then she called Lauren and asked her to meet her at the park to "talk about homework".

Lauren looked dreadful. She totally didn't hold liquor as well as Angela. Come to think of it, she had always been a little ugly anyway. Her nose was too big.

"What the hell are you wearing?" Lauren asked preppily when she saw Angela. "You look like a slut!"

Angela felt a consuming rage consuming her. How dare she speak to her like that, when it was perfectly clear that she was much hotter and more beautiful than Lauren would ever be! Suddenly a burning desire seized her like a lion that has seen a juicy gazella. She lunged for Lauren and sank her teeth into her neck like Atlantis. Shocked she realized that Lauren's preppy blood tasted like strawberry sauce. It was so good she couldn't help herself, she drained her bone dry.

Licking her lips, she looked down at Lauren's shrivelled corpse on the ground. It was hard to believe that this had been the queen bee of Forks High less than five minutes earlier. Lauren looked so bloody ugly lying there, like a blow-up doll that the air had gone out of. Angela laughed and walked gothically away.

At home there wasn't much fun. Her parents demanded to know where she had been the last three days. Crap. Turned out she was that kid on the missing posters. She spun them a tale about how a guy with a pony tail had kidnapped her and held her captive in an old warehouse where he wanted her to dress sexily and write his autobiography on an antique type-writer, like that one time on Midsomer Murders. They believed her. Pheewww.

The police also believed her. Of course someone had found Lauren's empty skin in the park, and the police were wondering if there could be a connection. Hopefully they would never figure out exactly how that connection worked. Who would believe that innocent little Angela, who got straight A's and never made trouble, had drunk someone's blood?

School was fun for the next couple of weeks. Because of her sexy new look, she got all the attention that had earlier been reserved for Bella. And no queen bitch Lauren to make her life suck.

Then of course Edward Fucking Cullen had to come back after one of the posh hunting trips the Cullen brats were constantly allowed to go to.

"Angela," he said with a very serious face, "You are a vampire."

Shit.

Thankfully, her parents were so tired of all the attention they got, and the reporters camping in their garden constantly wanting to borrow the bathroom and kitchen, that they moved. They found a quaint little house in the middle of the Washington Rainforest. Angela wondered if it could be true that she was a vampire. Sure enough, she had enjoyed the taste of Lauren's blood, but she didn't burn in the sunshine or faint when she saw a garlic.

Living in the forest, she soon discovered that hunting was fun, though. There were enough deer around their house. If she felt really adventurous, she went for a moose. She discovered that she could jump several feet, outrun most living creatures and be tossed down ravines without even getting a scratch. If this was what being a vampire was like, she wasn't going to complain.

She kept in touch with her old friends. Mike, in particular. He was cute, but she had never had a chance with him before, because he had eyes only for Bella. She was happy as anything when he finally called to ask her to the movies. He wouldn't be able to resist her now, he would be hers!

She dressed in a sexy corseted dress that barely covered her ass, did her hair up impossibly glamourously, and skipped make-up because it only made her uglier. Then she slipped on a modest, floral dress on top, so her parents wouldn't complain. As soon as she was out of sight, she pulled the flowery dress up and hid it in the garage. Then she ran super fast all the way to Forks.

The film was probably good. She couldn't really tell, because she was making out with Mike during most of it. He smelled like chocolate cake with cherry filling, and she had to fight hard with herself not to take a bite out of him. After the movie they went for a drive in his car, in the moonlit forest.

They stopped at a clearing and started making out under a hug oak. Suddenly Mike grabbed her boobs.

"Oh Angelaaaaahhhh!" he moaned in unicorn, "You are so sexah!"

"Stop grabbing my boobies, you perv!" Angela shouted. She might be sexy as a centerfold now, but she was still an inexperienced school girl who didn't appreciate this sort of behaviour.

"Your body drives me insane!" Mike screamed, squeezing her ass.

The blood lust overwhelmed her. She bit him in the jagular and started sucking his blood and marrow out. It really did taste like slightly underdone chocolate cake with cherry sauce. So much better than deer, which tasted like diet raspberry pop at best. After draining him dry she ate his bones. They tasted like fish and chips. She tossed his skin to a hungry badger.

She felt bad about eating Mike. After all, she had liked him a fuckload. She felt depressed and lonely, and started skipping school. Now that she was a creature of the dark, she realised that "Angela" wasn't a fitting name for her anymore. She decided that her new name should be Rain, because her soul was crying all the time. Rain Cordelia Anguish Irmengarde Woe Bennett. That was her true self.

Her parents didn't mind her wanting to be home schooled, because she was causing quite a lot of disturbancies at school. She was so hot that everyone wanted her body. Except the Cullens, who were totally stuck up snobs and thought they were better than everybody.

Her next victim was purely accidental. Eric fell on his bike and cut his knee. Rain couldn't help drinking all his blood. It was like a drug to her. She had befriended a large, fluffy wolverine in the forest, and it took care of the evidencenze for her. What was left of Eric went down in two hungry bites. She loved that animal so much!

When she sat up all night watching Animal Planet and other depressing horror movies, Rain often thought of James, the sexy bugger who was to blame for all of this. Sometimes she wouldn't mind having her old life back, and just being plain old geeky Angela who always stood in the shadow of Lauren, Jessie, Bella... Oh hell no! She wasn't going to stand in the shadow of Bella! She was Rain Bennett, the most beautiful and tormented girl in the Pacific North-West.

Rain's father could take out early retirement the next year, and her parents decided to go on a round-the-world expedition. Because Rain still cared about them, and was really worried about pirates, tigers and ebola, she turned them into vampires before they left. They became a lot more understanding after that.

Rain was lonely and miserable in Forks. She had mostly lost contact with her old friends, and spent more and more time with her animal companions; Ripp the wolverine, Bruce the grizzly and Frank the wolf. She had a special talent for talking to animals. They told her dreadful tales about how the Cullens were upsetting the natural balance by taking out the top predators. Bruce had lost much of his family thanks to Emmett, who had some deadly grudge against his kind.

One night when Rain was watching telly, with Frank curled up by her feet and Ripp snuggled up next to her on the sofa (poor Bruce was too big to get in), she heard a knock on the window. She went to look.

It was James! Now that she saw him through vampire eyes, he was even more gorgeous than she remembered.

"Oh, Rain," he said, with his eyes full of sorrow and despair. "I have been thinking of you ever since the night we first met. You are the true love of my life, my one soul mate. Victoria that bitch was a mistake, and she's cheating on me with Laurent anyway. Please forgive me, Rain, my eternal love. I'll do anything for you if only you'll be my girl."

How could anyone resist such beautifully heartfelt words. She let him in, and one thing led to another. They had amazing marvellous sexy sex, and Rain felt happy for the first time in her life. Now that she had a true mate, life was looking to be a lot more fun.

They decided to go to a concert in Seattle. James had a sexy, black BMW that he could drive at warp speed. It only took 10 minutes to get there. They didn't have tickets, so James hypnotized the guards to do the chicken dance. It was really fun to look at. The concert was amazing. Rain hadn't quite noticed what band it was, but they were some sort of gothic emo type, and really sexah. James noticed her staring at the muscular, shirtless guitar player, and looked jealous.

"Don't worry darling," she said. "He's not hotter than you."

Then they made out passionatively, and everyone thought they were a really cute couple.

As they exited the venue, they saw an ugly face. It was Jessica, looking mad as fuckity. Rain could see that she had turned emo now that she didn't have any friends left. She had straightened her hair, and dyed neon green streaks in it. Her eyes were encircled in black paint, and she was making duck-face.

"I know you have something to do with all my friends being dead!" she said, pointing her finger accusingly at Rain. "I'll go to the police."

"All your friends are NOT dead," Rain hissed. "You still have Bella."

Jessie rolled her eyes. "Yeah, Bella who constantly tries to get us both killed, and drops me like a hot potato as soon as that nasty corpse-boy of her shows up."

"Not like Lauren ever treated you like an equal anyway," Rain said, trying to get away from Jessie. "You are better off without her. Now you have a chance to get people to think you are pretty."

"Oh hell!" Jessie shouted. "I was always prettier than Lauren! She was no threat to me. You killed her, Angie! I know you did!"

"My name is Rain!", said Rain. "I have no idea what you are talking about stranger! Begone!"

"Murderer!" Jessie shouted.

James clamped his strong, masculine and shapely hand over her mouth, and dragged her away. When Rain caught up with him, he was already drinking her blood.

"Good riddance," Rain said. "We'll let Bruce get the rest of her, since we couldn't take him to the concert."

"No," said James. "I've not killed her. We need a slave, so I've injected her with venom."

"Kawaii Desu!" shouted Rain.

THEN SHE REALIZED SOMETHING...!