Disclaimer: I don't own X-men.

Sweet Sacrifice

Fear is only in our minds….

I stood in the long line trying to will the jitters out of my body. I was doing this for a reason, not exactly for the right reasons, but a reason none the less. I kept telling myself that there was nothing to fear, nothing was gonna happen but maybe a painful shot. I've had many shots before in my life, what's one more? Though this one was much more major than any shot I had gotten as a child. The line was moving rather slowly and doubt was creeping around in my mind as I waited. If only the line moved faster than maybe I wouldn't have the time for doubt to even settle in.

But in it settles and my nerves start to get the best of me.

I grip my luggage in my hand tightly, twisting my hands back and forth. Why is the line moving so damn slow!?

I start glancing around me to see if anyone else was having doubts as I was. Many faces were tired though with sad eyes almost like this whole ordeal wasn't some type of miracle but a death sentence. It did nothing for my nerves. I started the old habit of chewing my bottom lip anxiously taking two steps forward as the line moved again. I was getting closer to the door but suddenly it didn't feel like my heart was in it anymore. What were my reasons again?

Oh yes.

I didn't want to hurt anyone anymore. I wanted to be able to freely touch others without the fear of killing them with that single touch. All I truly wanted was to be able to look myself in the mirror and not fear the person that stared back at me. Sure wanting to touch, kiss, and even eventually have sex with Bobby was another motivator in my decision, but it wasn't the only one though. No one understood my feelings truly and utterly.

Storm meant well in saying there was nothing wrong with us.

But then she doesn't have the healthy fear of killing her boyfriend in one kiss either. Sure it's easy to say you understand my situation, but does anyone truly do?

I have to always be careful and cautious. I have to plan out my clothes with the thoughts of if it showed too much skin, or was there a slight chance someone might touch me by accident? I can't be carefree and throw caution to the wind, be spontaneous for once. I just can't allow myself to do that with the way I am now. The professor had thought at one point in my life I may get the control to turn my skin off, but I just can't wait till then.

What if my control doesn't come till much later in life? I don't want to be a thirty year old virgin then, nor do I want to go through the craziness of trying to be careful and have sex.

Call me selfish I don't care, honestly I agree. I am selfish; I want to be able to experience something that amazing without any hassle.

My thoughts suddenly brought up Logan and his ever blunt advice.

Make sure I'm doing this for me and not some boy. Of course I was doing it for me! I know I'm doing it for me!

Then why do I feel so afraid?

I felt like it was hard to swallow as I got closer to the door leading into the building. I was doing this for me right? Damn my doubts! Logan you asshole! I ranted on and on in my head how much he was such a jerk and how much I wanted to slap him upside the head for creating this doubt within me, but then…I'm giving him too much credit. I was already doubting as I was going out the door. All I could think of was that Kitty could kiss him, Kitty could touch him, and Kitty could give him everything I know he wants that I cannot.

I slowly sucked air through my nose trying to not let my eyes water. If it wasn't for Bobby I would feel like I would never be somewhat normal, he likes me for who I am, not what I've got. But the facts don't change no matter what he feels for me. I am dangerous in this state; I will always be till I learn my control. Again when that would be was beyond me. The door is now only six people ahead of me. My nerves are going haywire now.

I turn my eyes up to the sky desperately looking for an answer to my problems.

Should I go for the cure? Or should I just stay the same?

I feel like there's no right answer to this question. I think I realize what I am so afraid of now. I'm afraid that Bobby will still reject me once I go through with this. I'm afraid that everyone I've come to care for will feel like I betrayed them because they'll still be mutants while I'm not anymore. I'm afraid that I might be making the worse mistake of my life.

Now I'm three people away from the door.

My heart starts to pound heavily against my chest the closer I get. What if I am making a mistake? Maybe I should have asked everyone's opinion on this rather than getting just Logan's? I don't know what to do anymore to be honest. I just don't know.

A headache was coming on from the chaos inside my skull and still the line is moving. Suddenly I'm right at the door waiting for entry into the building. The man at the door has an ever present frown on his lips and his eyebrows etched downward like he was pissed at the lot he got in this world. Well that makes two of us. He barely looked my way and had an ear piece in his ear. I guess he was waiting to be told when to let someone enter or not.

This is too much; maybe I should go to the back of the line and think this through once more? But if I keep letting my thoughts get the better of me I might not go through with it. Is that what I really want?

Am I trying to psyche myself out till I just go back home? Shit why am I being so damn indecisive right now? I've never been like this before so why now?

A loud beeping noise came out from above the door and it swished open. I slowly stepped over the threshold getting away from the heat of mid-day sun into ice cold air conditioning. The doors swished shut behind me and a woman quickly greeted me upon entering. She asked me my blood type, date of birth, full name and mutation. Not knowing what else to tell her I just told her the truth, only after I did it did the thought that maybe I should have given her false information instead came to mind. She only smiled encouragingly at me and led me to the elevators where we ended up on the third floor. She took me to a room to sit down and told me they wanted to draw some blood first just to make sure I was actually compatible with the cure.

Compatible?

So I might be immune to the cure? The thought made me sick to my stomach. Wouldn't fate be so cruel as to make that happen for me? It was like mother nature was watching me and laughing behind her hand saying out loud, "Oh poor little Marie, she thought she could just get rid of her nightmare by taking a simple shot, well sorry to break it to you but you're immune to that shot anyway." I cringed at the thought and fidgeted my fingers together as I waited.

What if I wasn't compatible? All the turmoil I went through waiting in that line was all for nothing? It would be way too ironic that I wasn't compatible. And unfortunately irony is always within my life no matter where I went. The most understanding parents in the world suddenly didn't understand me anymore. The first man to look over my skin and see me didn't love me like I loved him. The one boy I wanted to touch and kiss in this entire world couldn't do so because of my skin. The life I once thought was within my grasp all I had to do was finish high school was never truly in my future to begin with.

Irony…over and over and over again.

I jumped when the door opened and an older gentleman with graying hair, a high widow's peak, and aging skin entered the room. He forced a smile that was all too fake and introduced himself. I didn't bother stating who I was because he already knew. He went to a draw near the cabinets and sink pulling out a blue rubber band and a long syringe. I gulped at the sight of the needle but willed myself to just take it like a man. Or maybe I should think woman instead?

I pulled off my right glove as he pulled on some latex gloves. His hands were icy cold against my warmer skin. He pulled the rubber band tightly around my arm just under my elbow and tapped lightly on my wrist to make my veins pop out more. I didn't want to see him draw any blood but I had this morbid fascination of watching him do it anyway. I just couldn't keep my eyes away. It hurt when he pricked the needle into my skin and I tried not to wince at the ache in my arm. It only two a few seconds before he was done and pulling the needle out of my arm. Blood instantly spilled out. I felt light headed and I am sure my skin turned extremely pale afterwards.

He quickly cleaned up my arm wrapping some medical tape and a cotton ball around my wound before leaving without saying a word. That only served to make me more nervous if that was even possible at this point. How long would this process take? I thought maybe not too long considering that I got in here faster than I originally thought. Ironic how I felt it took forever in the beginning of my journey in the line outside.

As I waited I thought about my reasons again for doing this.

Mostly for me, but a bit for Bobby as well. For my future and maybe to forget my past?

I gasped as a thought came to mind. Did I also do this in hopes that my parents would take me back? That thought made me sick to my stomach though it was probably just because I was already light headed as it is. My parents didn't understand what I was; they thought I wasn't their daughter anymore. A week after my mutation developed I ran away because life there was unbearable. My Mama cried every time she saw me so I opted to hide out in my room most of the time. My Papa wouldn't even look at me in the eye. He was the one who would bring me my meals since Mama couldn't go near me. I ran away almost more for their benefit than my own.

I could barely handle my new self, but they couldn't handle it at all.

I stood up from the laid back chair I was sitting on. I never did know what they were called I thought to myself as I wobbled my way to the window. We were near the front of the building and I could make out the line down below. My eyes widen as I watched it go on further down the street than I originally thought. Did I really stand in that line? I turned my head to look at the clock and see that it was almost three in the afternoon. I left the mansion around eleven that morning. I stood in that line for almost three hours!? It didn't quite feel like I did. Then again I had a lot on my mind so time flew I guess.

There were hurried footsteps outside my room. I blinked slowly at the loud steps before walking my way to the door leading out of the room. This time I didn't wobble…nearly as much. I opened the door a few inches peeking out to see what the commotion was all about. There in the center of the room was a nurse's station type area with a big flat screen TV on the wall. Someone turned up the volume and I heard a news reporter saying in slightly panicked words that the Goldengate Bridge had been lifted from its position and is moving to where they didn't know. I gasped as the camera man on the helicopter zoomed in his camera on the bridge showing Magneto and a whole bunch of mutants on the bridge as he moved it.

I couldn't believe my eyes. He had that much power that he could move the bridge without any strain on himself? I hated to say that I was amazed by his abilities but I was. Another zoom in showed Jean and John standing behind him. I felt my heart clench as I got a good look at Jean. What happened to her? This wasn't her, not at all. Her face seemed void of any emotion, just blank like she wasn't thinking of anything at all. My heart went out to Logan knowing his feelings for her even though it still somewhat hurt me.

Oh who was I kidding? It hurt like a bitch knowing I could never gain that type of love from him. I was just a 'kid' after all. I shook my head gently; I didn't need to think these thoughts about Logan. I have Bobby now, my boyfriend…but for how long? My doubts rang loud and clear inside my head and my heart. I saw the way he looks at Kitty…the way he use to look at me. Maybe I am making a mistake…

Someone gasped loudly gaining my attention from myself wallowing. The Goldengate Bridge's direction was confirmed. It was heading to the very facility that first created the cure and had the mutant whose ability they deprived it from. I felt my heart jump into my throat because I knew without a doubt that the X-men would come and defend them. I looked down in sorrow at the thought that I might lose my friends, the people who have come to be my new family of sorts. They're going to head there while I being such a coward waited to be cured when I should be with them ready to help. I could help!

I looked down to my right hand that was still gloveless in thought. The professor said that the Phoenix was driving Jean crazy, it was making her homicidal and only wanted power, she couldn't control it alone. I know he tried his best to help her but even he couldn't do much. But I…what am I thinking!?

I can't do anything. If Jean who's had more years controlling her abilities couldn't rein in the Phoenix's power then what made me think I could? I know the professor said that I had better control of someone's mutation better than even they do sometimes, but that didn't mean for everyone. I wasn't nearly as experienced enough, nor could I even compete in the same level as Jean.

I clenched my hand tightly; I would just be useless even if I tried to help….

But why do I feel like the mistake I thought I was making before is being made right now?

I looked back up to the screen, saw the zoomed up faces of Magneto, Jean, and John once more before I decided. Without thinking I grabbed my glove off the chair I had left it on and pulled it on. I went back to the door and slowly pushed it open all the way. Luckily everyone's attention was on the TV screen so I was able to make my escape from the room and down the hall. At first I was going to head to the elevator but then I decided to take the stair well instead. I slipped through the door quickly and raced down the steps trying to keep myself from tripping as I hurried. I stopped at the bottom floor and peeked out the door.

Will they let me leave?

I wasn't so sure of it but I could just touch anyone who tried to stop me. I wasn't so keen on that idea but I had nowhere else I could go. So I sucked in some air pushing any more self doubt from my mind and headed for the front door. No one was stopping me or questioning me so I guess I'm in the clear. I went to the door waiting for it to swish open but it didn't. I blinked in confusion before I felt eyes on my back.

"Ma'am are you lost?" I blinked slowly trying to compose myself before turning around. It was a different woman this time but I gave her my best southern smile.

"Actually I'm done here, so if I could just leave…" I pointed to the door behind me as she raised an eyebrow and crossed her arms over her chest. I tried not to frown or appear nervous. She looked me up and down slowly.

"If you were checked out your doctor would have given us the call." She stated in a high voice her nose stuck up in the air.

"Well when I said I'm done here I didn't mean I took the cure. I decided not to, so if you could kindly let me go…" I waited for her answer hoping she would just let it go but instead she turned around in hurried steps calling out for people. Oh god they're not going to let me go without taking the cure were they? I felt my heart jump into my throat again before hearing the swish of the door behind me.

I wiped around only to see the big brute guarding the door looking down at me with the same frown as before.

"Causing trouble are we?" Before I could think about it I flung my glove off and grabbed his arm. He dropped to his knees instantly gasping for air I let go quickly as I was assaulted by his thoughts, memories, and abilities. Just as the door was about to swish shut I grabbed a hold of it using the strength the muscle head had given to me (that I took from him) I forced it open to allow myself to escape. I ran out keeping my left arm against my chest to avoid anyone from getting into contact with it.

I ran pass everyone in line not giving them a second look as I ran from that place. I waved down a taxi and gave him the directions to the mansion. I felt jitter once more on the way back home. I hoped against hope that they hadn't left yet, that I still had time to suit up and go with them. I could help, even if I didn't have the experience or the power I knew I could help.

I guess all that turmoil I went through for most of this day wasn't for anything after all.

I pressured the driver to get there on the double offering him extra money as the temptation. Luckily New Yorkers liked to speed in general. I got to the mansion in no time; I jumped out of the cab after handing the driver a ton of bills. Belatedly as I entered the code to get in through the gate I remembered that I left my bag back at the facility. I groaned out loud as I pushed myself to run up the long drive way. I did have my wallet on me, but some of my important things were in that bag. There was nothing I could do about it now though so I grabbed the front door flinging it open with more strength than I meant too.

That brute was a real muscle head for sure. I pushed his annoying mouth in the back of my mind and ran through the mansion side stepping many kids and asking about Storm, Hank, or Logan. Everyone I passed said they were down suiting up with the jet. I hurried practically out of breath by this time. I got to one of the many elevators squeezing in and wishing it would move faster. I needed to make it; I needed to be there with them. I burst through the doors racing through the twisting halls to make it to the x-jet.

I punched in the code for that door as well screwing up once because of nerves and trying again. My second time did it for me and I ran through as they opened. I coughed hard as I breathed in the exhaust just as the jet started taking off. I stopped instantly watching in dread with wide eyes as the jet hovered up into the air and then blasted off into the sky.

I was too late…

I felt tears leak out of my eyes in frustration. I was this close! I dropped to my knees sobbing openly in the empty room as the floor above me slowly closed. I should have known I would never make it, what the hell was I thinking that I could? I'm not a hero, I'm not meant for this stuff. I'm only Rogue, Marie…what made me think I could do anything to help anyway…

I dropped from my knees to my butt on the cold hard floor wrapping my arms around my knees as I cried into them. Then the brute showed up in my head, apparently his name is Frank. He yelled loudly in my head to suck it up and take matters into my own hands. I had gotten this far and sitting there sobbing over split milk wasn't going to get it cleaned up faster. I blinked my eyes rapidly as he continued to tell me that if I wanted to make a difference I needed to try harder and stop doubting myself so much. I made a decision and now I needed to make the best of it.

Funny how I was getting a pep talk from a guy I forcibly touched to get away. Shouldn't he be pissed at me? I never really could understand the personalities in my head much, and I honestly don't think I ever will too. He had a point though; I made it this far so I needed to push myself further. I wiped my eyes dry pushing to my feet and looking around the empty room. I had gotten plenty of flight hours for the jet, I even flown it once before too, but I had flown the smaller jet even more. I walked up to the consol against the wall. We had an extra jet, smaller than the x-jet for emergencies. I felt this happened to be one, plus I knew how to fly it well enough. I needed to do something I couldn't just let them go, I had gotten this far time to go even further…

I brought up the jet from the lower levels waiting as the ground broke apart revealing the jet as it came up to level with me. I pushed a few buttons on the consol letting the basketball court above break open again. I turned to the jet opening the back hatch and stepping into the jet. I have never flown the jet by myself but desperate times call for desperate measures so to speak. I had no other choice in the matter anyway.

I didn't have time to suit up I just needed to go so I buckled in setting the coordinates I had gotten off the computer consol before turning on the jet. I checked all the gages as I flicked on the levers above my head. Everything is checking out fine so I prepared to take off. The engines started to rumble to life and I smiled in sudden excitement. I'm doing it, I'm going to help my friends and teammates and no amount of doubt could stop me either. Once everything was set I took off.

Even though my first time in the x-jet wasn't such a pleasant one (I've never flown before even commercial and the situation was very dire so with me panicking and then being pulled out of the jet, needless to say I had a healthy fear of the jet since) I've come to actually enjoy flying. I think the reason my first time made me panic was because I didn't have any control of what was happening, now though I had all the control in the world. I absolutely love flying now. My estimated time would be an hour at most, thank goodness for fast jets.

As I flew there I tried to think of a strategy. As much as I wasn't trying to beat myself down there really wasn't much I could do. It hurts but it's the truth. I could catch some mutants off guard and take their abilities to use against them, but what more could I do then. Thinking about it now my goal should be Jean, or rather Phoenix.

She was the biggest threat of them all, even more so than Magneto. If I touched her I could take control of the Phoenix thus saving Jean from herself and everyone else. But what about me? I quickly hit autopilot to lean back and think. There would be major consequences if I did that, once more I didn't know if I could handle the Phoenix personality in me. So far I've been pretty good at pushing anyone who I touch out of my mind though if I want to be honest I can't truly get rid of them. Their always there in some small crevice of my mind, the professor had been helping me to force them completely out of my mind, but I couldn't really do it without him.

As strong as Jean had been she still couldn't handle Phoenix, my evidence being what was happening now. Again what made me think I could even begin to handle that type of power? My gut told me so.

How pathetic is that? My gut told me I could do it, sounds like something Logan would say. I smiled lightly at the thought of him. If I managed to save Jean…am I doing it for her or for him? Or am I really doing it for myself? I rubbed my temples in mild irritation. Why couldn't I just know the answers instantly? I hate having to think things through; I am tired of trying to figure out the answers to these almost impossible questions. Why am I doing this?

In the end after all is said and done I'm just…sacrificing myself.

I felt my eyes water at the very thought. I would be sacrificing myself to save everyone, especially Jean from herself. I know I can't handle the Phoenix, and if I try I might die in the process. Yet if I die so would the Phoenix…

I know everyone would care that I would be gone but…would that hurt anyone all the same? Logan could have Jean finally with Scott supposively dead though I sort of doubt that and then Bobby wouldn't have to worry about my skin anymore because I wouldn't be around anymore. He could move on eventually…possibility with Kitty. They would all move on soon enough, they wouldn't be as hurt if I died unlike Jean. Then again I am selling myself short. I know quite a few people who would miss me dearly one of those being Logan; he risked his life to save mine way back when. Frank kept saying that it would be a courageous death, very self sacrificing. Honorable even.

But I know for sure I wasn't doing it for honor or for acknowledgement either. I…want to save Jean. She didn't deserve this, she sacrificed herself before to save us at Alkali Lake this time she would be the one saved. Thinking of it that way made me feel better about my decision. It wasn't about who needed her more or needed me less nor was it about me in general. Maybe this was the purpose of my skin?

I always thought there was a reason I got this mutation to begin with. I didn't like to think I just got it at random or for no real reason at all except to make my life a living hell. Thinking of it having a specific reason behind gaining this ability made it easier to deal with it too. But what if my true purpose was to stop Jean, to stop Phoenix from the rampage I'm sure she'll go on. In the end I am the only one I know who has the ability to stop her. I have no idea what the team was planning or if they had even thought about Phoenix going on a killer rage. That's all I can think about when I saw her on TV earlier.

No one can withstand her power. My mind then brought up Logan. Maybe he could with his healing and metal cased bones he probably could defend against her, but also that lead to the fact there was no way to save her but death. My eyes blurred as tears slowly leaked down my cheeks to drip off my chin. I wasn't even grieving for the pain that Jean would feel; no I was grieving for the pain Logan would go through. As much as I hate to admit it he loves her and if it came down to killing her…would he do it? If it saved her from herself?

I choked up a little because I knew the answer was yes.

I know he hates to be the hero, he rather not be in the spot light if he can help it, but if it was the only way he would take her life over risking everyone else's. More tears escaped my eyes. My heart ached for him even though he hasn't done it yet, because I knew in the end it would come down to it.

Not if I had anything to say about it though!

I wiped my tears away swallowing down my sorrow to force a brave face. I love Logan too much to allow him to suffer like that. After what he's gone through and still he doesn't even know the half of it he deserves to keep something akin to happiness. If that is with Jean than I am going to make sure it stays that way. A beeping noise told me I would arrive to my destination in ten minutes. It amazed me how quickly an hour went by. Again lost in my thoughts made time fly.

I felt a smile tug at my lips. Strangely I felt incredibly strong now, like I could take on anything at all. I wonder where this strength came from but I can only guess that it might have something to do with love. I always knew I loved Logan more than I should, I knew it wasn't a simple crush or admiration. At first it may have been shallow hero worship turned slight crush, but now I know more than anything that I love Logan and I would do anything to make him happy. I love Bobby as well and me being out of the picture is probably the best thing I can do for him. Kitty will help him move on, I'm sure of it.

My face actually hurts a little from how big my smile has gotten. I am truly happy about this, to sacrifice myself heedlessly without so much a care in the world. Is this what Jean felt when she saved us all? This sudden unexpected happiness to save people you care about even if you're gone? I honestly hope so because it is the best feeling I have ever felt in my whole life. It's like I'm on cloud nine or something similar.

I smiled even bigger as I could make out the Goldengate Bridge up ahead. I take the autopilot off and lower the jet further away near the beginning of the bridge. It was nearing evening now having daylights saving time and falling back an hour the daylight was slowly disappearing for the day. It was like the sun was hiding from the scene that was about to happen. I got out of the jet closing it up and hurrying towards the action. The team had a good thirty minute head start on me and I could hear fighting going on up ahead. Though I am nervous I am also still happy. I don't think anything could break my mood even if I witnessed Kitty and Bobby kiss right in front of me.

Nothing could break this happiness I feel.

I moved closer up ducking behind empty cars that were vacated by scared humans. Strange how I started to think of myself as a different species than human. A flash of Magneto came to mind, must be his influence. Sometimes certain traits or strong feelings of people I touch just stick to me longer than they should. I pulled off both of my clothes discarding them to the ground and moving on. I won't need them anymore.

I move faster as adrenaline rushes through my veins. I vaguely remember my arm is still bandaged from getting my blood tested, even amongst all this chaos I wonder if I was compatible with the cure? I guess I'll never know and I guess it doesn't exactly matter anymore. I hide behind a minivan, peeking over the hood to see Jean's back with Magneto standing further in front of her. Its utter chaos further up, I can see Storm, Hank, and Logan fighting. Kitty's nowhere in my sight but I make out Colossus banging mutants around like he's a brick wall. Then my eyes catch Bobby. He's facing off against John. My heart jumps into my throat.

They both blast their elemental abilities at each other. I always find it funny how those two were best friends when they were both not only opposites in personality but in elements as well. From this way they seem pretty even in power but I keep my fingers crossed that Bobby is stronger. I glance between their fight with eyeing Jean over. I need to catch her off guard, there is no way I could go up to her at this point; she would notice me in a heartbeat. The only way I can touch her is if she is distracted. Kind of like I am right now; I turn my eyes back to Bobby as he abruptly turns into solid ice (that's new) and force back John's fire.

I squeal girlishly on the inside as he reaches out and crushes John's hands keeping him from messing with the fuel tank on his back and strapped up his arms to his hands. Then a badass head butt knocks him out. I smile happily as I witnessed Bobby's true strength. I am so proud of him. I glance back at Jean to see she stepped forward as Magneto has joined the fight. Is that a good enough distraction? I'm not so sure but I need to move up closer.

I go behind the minivan ducking pass two more cars and stopping by a beautiful mustang. I am closer than before which makes my nerves flare to life. Slowly doubts start to make their way into my head but I push them away. I am done doubting myself. I am going through with this regardless of my doubts. I know I am doing the right thing, I just know it.

I watch as Storm creates a fog messing with my vision. Jean's still in my sights but I can't find Magneto at all. My time to catch her off guard is coming, I can feel it; my gut says so.

I hear commotion and then the fog clears. Logan is standing up straight with Magneto down on the ground and…pulling out needles…they cured him! I can't believe it! I see Hank standing a bit behind him and I can only guess what they did but it had to do with distraction. I watch as Logan looks up to Jean, he's saying something to hear but I can't hear what. Maybe I'm not really needed at all. I get ready to come forth when I hear marching feet behind me. I turn around to see many man with guns all pointed at Jean. I gasp in realization that this could end very badly.

Jean doesn't even turn around but I can see and feel her power flare to life. She's pissed off and were all caught in the fire. I gasp some air into my lungs for probably the last time and run as fast as I can. I hear gun shots, tons of them but I feel no pain. I don't bother to see what happened all I know is Jean is turning around and I am just about there. Just as she turns to meet the men behind me I slam into her knocking her breath from her gut and giving her quite the surprise.

Then without a thought to what I was getting into because I have already thought it all enough I bring both of my hands to her face and hold.

It's painful for both of us. I can feel the rage of the Phoenix getting pulled into me but I keep my hold. I think I hear my name being called out but everything seems so far away now. My eyes are shut tightly and I concentrate on taking the Phoenix from Jean. I know I need to let go now or I might actually kill her instead. I feel a burning in my chest and something inside me tells me to let go, I have the Phoenix now, Jean is finally safe. I rip my hands from her face leaving her unconscious on the ground. I roll off her to the rumble underneath us and cringe. I cross my arms over my chest gripping my shoulders tightly at the pain and rage in me.

I think I'm screaming because my lungs hurt but I don't hear a sound coming from my mouth. All I feel is this rage, this anger to kill but I try extremely hard to suppress it the best I can. It hurts though; it hurts so much I feel like I'm breaking apart, being ripped from the inside out. All I want to feel right now is numbness but my body feels like it's on fire as well. Is John trying to burn me alive while he can? I don't think he ever liked me to begin with so it was possible.

I open my eyes as they water from the pain. I see Logan then, he's right there next to me not by Jean. It confuses me but I guess since she'll survive he mind as well be by my side as I die because I do feel like I'm dying. There's an awful ringing in my ears so I can't hear a word he's saying but I'm sure I already know from seeing his lips.

'Stupid! What the hell were you thinking!?' I was thinking that Jean meant more to you alive then dead to be honest.

'Hang in there!' I think he's yelling for Hank or is it Storm, ya know I'm not the best at reading lips especially when I'm in pain. I turn to my left to see Bobby on my other side, he looks very upset and I think he's crying but my eyes are blurry so I'm not sure. Unexpectedly Hank pops up so I guess he was calling for him and now I'm being lifted. I see Storm talking to the military men and their head captain. Without warning the ringing in my ears ends and I can hear everything now.

"Shit…damnit…fuck…" Quite the vocabulary Logan, is there an actual sentence there?

"Please Rogue hang in there…don't leave me…" Bobby whimpers on my other side as they take me to where ever.

"It will take too long to get back to the mansion; we'll have to use the facility here!" Hank calls out ahead. I hear more crying and see Kitty standing by Colossus. They both look upset though Kitty is actually crying while Colossus looks grim. I hear this painful moaning and groaning too, only for me to realize that's actually…me?

I cry out suddenly lurching forward and knocking Bobby's hands out from under me. Luckily Logan catches me easily and halls ass through the building. I'm then laid on a table that's way too cold that it hurts. I scream in pain digging my nails into my shoulders as I try to crush the burning pain in my chest with my arms. Hank is moving around the room talking to some doctors who were saved. I expect Logan to run out and get Jean but he stays put surprising me even more.

There's no hope for me anymore, I'm a lost cause now. I know I'm dying, there's no way I can survive this pain. I am being torn apart like a tug-a-war on my arms while being burned from the inside out. It sounds just as bad as it feels. I blank out in my pain so hearing Logan arguing with Hank is completely sudden and I don't know why their yelling at each other. I don't think they know what to do and neither do I. Time to throw in the towel boys and just let me slowly…wither away…

Why is my vision growing dark? Am I really dying? Funny…I'm not scared at all. Actually I'm still happy, maybe because I'm finally feeling numb now. Like the fire is going out, is Bobby freezing my body? No, that can't be I don't feel like I'm being pulled apart anymore either. That's great! I think I'm smiling now that must freak them out, I don't think I can laugh but just thinking about their faces as I die laughing seems extremely funny to me. Now I'm a bit disappointed that I can't laugh.

I make out one last thing as my vision fails me and so does my hearing…

"Let me heal her…"….

And that is my story. I know I left it on a cliff hanger…sorry. So it's totally possible Rogue lives…or dies…your guy's choice. I have so many stories to update and deal with right now it's hard to start another one at the moment, but after reading some great stories for Rogue alone and with Logan (can't help but love that pairing) I just had to get this off my chest. The idea has been sitting with me for years but I just never felt the need to write it…till now. I typed everything in one sitting, starting from about ten at night to 2:30 in the morning. I only did a spell check through and I haven't read it through aside from typing it the first time so expect many errors but I just needed to get this out before I go to bed.

Let me know what you guys think? Should I continue this? Or is this better off where it's at? I wouldn't mind continuing it, but it would have to wait till after I'm done with most of my other stories. Though I'll work on it while I update everything else. I'm just not sure if I should commit to it or not. So please give me your thoughts on it.

Thanks for taking your time to read this long ass one-shot or premise to a story?

I'm out…

ALCzysz17 ^_~