Mishaps

Disclaimer- I still don't own Naruto, and I won't for the rest of this story. :)

Summary - Have you ever noticed the crazy things ninja wear? Or wondered how they pull off those absurd outfits? Well here are a few times when they didn't.

Genma

It was a normal day at the hospital for Sakura. Lee and Naruto had overdone it in a spar and needed to be patched up. A team had come back from a routine mission and so needed routine medical attention. Yes, it was a normal day for Sakura, so boringly normal that Sakura was happy when Ino showed up for their Bi-weekly fighting/bonding time. It was as they were arguing about whether Kakashi was disfigured underneath his mask that Sakura got her first interesting patient.

Somehow Genma had gotten the tip of his tongue partially torn off, and Sakura was called in to reattach it, while Ino volunteered to stay and help. Genma was a fun guy who was always interesting to talk to, but today all Sakura wanted to know was how on earth Genma had injured his tongue. After all it wasn't exactly a common spot for injury among shinobi. After Sakura had finished reattaching the tongue and had written Genma a prescription for some pain meds( Not that he'd take them. Stupid shinobi.). Sakura listened to Ino explain to Genma how to take care of the injury. Genma interrupted Ino's explanation with a question, "Hey Ino, you said I needed to be careful what I put in my mouth, does that include my senbon(acupuncture needle)? Because, you know, chewing on senbon, it's kinda my thing."

Ino was staring at Genma as if trying to decide whether he was serious, or not after deciding that he was she scowled called him an idiot, and stormed out of the room while muttering something about how all the cute shinobi were lunatics, and why couldn't she get a break? Ino slammed the door behind her cutting off her rant. Sakura was surprised by Ino's reaction, then she looked over at Genma and saw him staring at the door with a shocked expression on his face. Sakura gave a nervous laugh, "Don't mind Ino Genma-san, she gets like that sometimes."

Genma shook his head and then looked at Sakura with a little half smile, "By Ino-san's reaction I'm guessing that chewing on my senbon right now would be a bad idea."

Sakura wasn't quite sure how to answer that. Medically, yeah chewing on a senbon right now was a very bad idea, but what about overall, wasn't constantly chewing on a sharp pointy weapon always a bad idea? Ah well she was only allowed to give opinions on medical things; trying to give opinions on other things would probably be seen as rude, or nosey. So, with a smile Sakura answered, "Yeah I'd avoid chewing on senbon for at least a week, and, if you can manage it, two weeks would be best."

Genma looked surprisingly dejected at that answer. To get his mind off the no senbon rule, and satisfy her own curiosity, Sakura decided to ask Genma a question, "So Genma-san, how did you manage to injure your tongue anyway? I mean, it's not exactly a hot spot for attack."

Genma's smile turned sheepish, "Well, um, I was chatting with Izumo and Kotetsu down by the gate, And I was probably standing a bit too close to the shack there. When Gai ran up behind me and started shouting I turned around too fast and my senbon hit one of the poles that keep the shack up. My tongue was badly torn before I even realized the danger."

Sakura just gave Genma a disbelieving stare for a minute, "So..., let me get this straight. You... got your tongue almost completely torn off because you were chewing on a senbon, and yet you're disappointed that you have to wait a week to chew on one again?"

Genma shrugged, "Yeah."

Sakura's stare grew more intense, "Have you been injured by having a senbon in your mouth before?"

Genma nodded, "Yeah a few times, when I wasn't careful enough."

"But you still keep putting the senbon back in your mouth? Why?" Sakura asked.

Genma gave Sakura a genuine smile, "'Cause chewin' on a senbon is my thing."

Sakura gave Genma a baffled look and shook her head, "Well, as long as you always seek out medical attention quickly I can't say anything. You're all set to head out. Remember there's a prescription for pain meds if you need them, all your care instructions are written down, and most importantly, no senbon anywhere near your mouth for at least a week."

Genma gave Sakura a bright smile, "Thanks Sakura-san." after which he got up and started heading for the hospital exit.

As Sakura watched Genma go she couldn't help but shake her head at the crazy things shinobi did to themselves.

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Sai

Sakura was getting groceries when Sai ran up to her looking twitchy, "Sakura I need your help!"

Sakura was concerned it wasn't like Sai to be so emotional. With a worried frown on her face, she asked, "What's wrong Sai?"

Sai stared at her for a minute with a haunted look on his face before he shuddered, "I was getting a drink when some guys came and hit on me." Sai's normally pale face got paler, "They thought I was a girl, Sakura!"

Sakura burst out laughing. She tried to contain it she really did, but Sai's shocked face combined with that ridiculous story was just too much. However, when Sai pouted and turned to walk away Sakura managed to get herself under control, "Wait. Sai I'm sorry. You just surprised me, that's all. I'm sorry for laughing at you. Now, what did you need my help with?"

Sai still looked a little pouty as he replied, "I need you to help me pick out a new uniform. You and Naruto have been saying for years that this outfit makes me look girly. I never took you seriously before, but now I definitely do."

Sakura was amazed by how surreal this conversation was, but still, she was glad that Sai was finally agreeing to change his uniform even if it was because of odd circumstances, Sakura gave a bright smile, "I'd love to help you find a new outfit Sai. Lets start looking right now."

Sai nodded and started to head for the nearest shinobi store. Sakura shook her head as she followed behind Sai. This day was certainly turning out differently than expected. Still, it was nice to see that Naruto's emotion lessons with Sai were working. Sakura didn't think she'd ever seen Sai show more emotion than he had in the last five minutes. But, Sakura wished she could have been there when those guys had hit on Sai, it would have been great to see all their faces.

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Itachi

Team Kakashi was on a low key recon mission. It was meant to be a break for all the team members, but Sakura was pretty sure this mission was meant to be an off the books low level torture session instead. There could be no other description for being forced to listen to Naruto whine about this mission for four straight days. As Sakura watched Naruto get ready to begin another complaining session, she debated with herself if it would really be such a bad thing to cut off Naruto's tongue and save the world from death by grumbling.

Thankfully, before Naruto could really get going on his spiel. Itachi walked into the clearing. The shock of seeing Itachi sent Naruto into a blessedly silent state. Still, there had to be better ways of shutting Naruto up than having an S-ranked nuke-nin(Missing nin) unexpectedly show up. Sakura studied Itachi as he stood there studying them. He still looked the same as the last time she'd seen him, not that she saw him all that often. Itachi still had the Akatsuki black cloak with red clouds on it, and he still had one arm resting on the partially open cloak in front rather then through the sleeve like a normal person.

Sakura's perusal on the nuke-nin was cut off as Naruto attacked him. She saw Itachi's eyes widen minutely before he dodged out of the way of Naruto's attack. She noticed that as Itachi was dodging he tried to put the hand in front back into its sleeve, but it looked like the arm got stuck half in and half out of his sleeve. Sakura had to admit the look on Itachi's face when his arm got stuck was priceless.

But, there was no time to give in to her entertainment at Itachi's predicament as Itachi proved he deserved his S-rank status by recovering from his surprise quickly and immediately placing Naruto in a genjutsu without the use of hand seals. Sakura hurried to break the genjutsu on Naruto while Kakashi and Sai rushed Itachi from both sides in hopes of catching him in a pincer movement. Itachi again managed to dodge without much difficulty, but Sakura eyes were once again drawn to Itachi's stuck arm as it furiously jerked from Itachi's efforts to get it unstuck.

After Naruto got his senses back from his time in the genjustu both Sakura and Naruto joined in the fight against Itachi. The fight only lasted a few minutes as Itachi was able to hold them off, literally, single handedly, and finally managed to escape without much damage, although even as he disappeared he was still frantically trying to get his arm unstuck.

Team Kakashi stayed in attack-ready position until they were sure Itachi was really gone, and then collapsed in exhaustion. Well except Naruto; he collapsed laughing. After Naruto managed to calm his laughter a little he said, "You know I've always been scared of Itachi, but from now on every time I think of Itachi and this battle I think I'll want to laugh at the expression on Itachi's face when he realized his arm was stuck."

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Naruto

Kakashi-sensei, Sakura, Sai, and Ino were wildly searching for Naruto, and they weren't the only ones. Team Kakashi knew that somewhere in this forest Akatsuki was searching for Naruto as well. They had been looking for Naruto since morning and were beginning to feel frustrated and desperate as a bright orange sunset painted the sky.

Sakura watched as Kakashi-sensei and his dog Pakkun tried to sniff Naruto out, but they were near a waterfall and the water in the air was dampening Naruto's scent, making him harder to find. Kakashi-sensei and Pakkun were finally able to narrow Naruto's location to the top of the cliff they were at the bottom of. However, as they tried to search for Naruto they realized that this cliff was backed by the bright orange sunset they had been trying to ignore. Ino groaned, "Just our luck that the one time we really need to find Naruto his ridiculous kill-me-orange jumpsuit matches the color of the sunset."

Sakura nodded in agreement, "And here I thought that that jumpsuit would never work for camouflage. Dang, I guess I lose that bet."

Team Kakashi were eventually able to find Naruto and get him safely back to Konoha, and a frantic Tsunade. After team Kakashi had explained to Tsunade why it had taken so long to find Naruto she shook her head, "Well Naruto, maybe it's a good thing your wear that bright orange jumpsuit. You're too hard to find when you can't be seen."

A/N Well that's a wrap. I'm still focused on my other story, but this little plot bunny wouldn't leave me alone so I decided to humor it. I hope you liked. Also if anyone wants to take this idea and run with it feel free to.