Hi. This is Meow and Mango, who don't own Bleach or "Clementine", presenting:

Hitsugaya's Matsumoto Song of DOOM

To the tune of "Clementine". The words aren't a perfect fit, but use your imagination.

Not written for the love of language, but rather for entertainment, so if it's crappy writing, ignore it.

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"Oh Taichou, I'm going to be drinking with Kira and Hisagi in the next room, so there might be some yelling, and we'll probably be hung-over, so I'll be on the couch all tomorrow to sleep it off. Also, please do my paperwork while I enjoy myself and submerge in alcoholic bless. Toodle-doo!" said Matsumoto, closing the door behind her.

Hitsugaya mumbled something inaudible that sounded kind of like this:

"thatjerkmumblemumblemumblemakesmedopaperworkmumblemumblemumbleherandherdangboobsmumblemumblemumble-cantbreathemumblemumblejerkmumblemymothermumbleyoucanmakeasongwiththatmumblemumblemumble…"

And then, you could practically see a light bulb appear above his head. You could also practically hear his mind snap.

"I've got it!

Matsumoto, Matsumoto!

She's really annoying.

She drinks a lot, and she sleeps a lot,

And she never does any dang work!

Oh how I wish I could trade her for someone like Nanao,

But I can't, cause she's assigned,

So I'm stuck with her now.

I'm sick and tired, sick and tired, of being smothered!

She's bossy, and a jerk,

And she acts like MY MOTHER!!!"

Poor Ichigo happened to be at the door at that moment. "We were going to invite you to go bowling, but we can see that you're…busy."

Kira and Hisagi were so shocked, they dropped their sake bottles.

And this is what Matsumoto had to say: "Wow, Taichou, you're good at singing! But who made the words…? They're awesome!" (A.N. Thank you, thank you very much.)

Everyone: *stares*

Hitsugaya: MY MIND HAS FREAKING SNAPPED AND I'M ONLY A HUNDRED YEARS OLD!!!!!!!!! BWAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!! IT'S RAINING TABASCO PIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Everyone: *stares some more*

Ichigo: Is it just me, or has the room gotten cold?

~*~~*~~*~~*~

This has been Meow and Mango, presenting Hitsugaya's Matsumoto Song of DOOM.

And we might add more songs. Yeah. Peace.

And please review. But we won't cram it down your throat if you don't.