A reflective piece I wrote on my own thoughts of Twilight in the whole through Carlisle's point of view, not because I think he was one of the redeemable characters but because I always choose paternal characters by default. Okay, here's a Twi-drabble. Back to my mid-term papers. Typed in kind of a rush and since I was anxious to publish it, has a fuck load of errors but I may or may not revisit this fic later on to fix them.
Disclaimer: Don't own Twilight. Why would I want to?
Summary: Carlisle begins to rethink his initial encouragement of Edward courting Bella Swan when she becomes a liability that threatens their lives.
Stupidity begets stupidity. And stupid was the only way to describe Edward right now. Stupid in love and by default absolutely intolerable. Even for Carlisle who could never turn down the (opportunity) of his sweet boys company could not endure his tantrums. They were as unbearable as when he'd first been changed, but far from instilling a kind of affection toward him in Carlisle, he was grating on his masters delicate nerves.
Esme tried rationalizing Edwards exasperating moodiness with gentle reminders. 'He's never been in love like this before. Its only expected for him to act in such a way.' she'd whisper, quite certain that every problem Edward had ever had would be fixed with tender love of a good woman. Esme lived in a fairytale too.
Carlisle didn't have the heart to tell her their 'son' had been in love that way, several times before. Edward had more lovers that Alice had shoes and at a time his own child (though long gone and silently mourned) that only Carlisle and the regulation and control vampire division of Copenhagen knew of.
Bella wasn't 't a first anything in terms of love. She was however, a replacement for a love lost.
She can't replace Andrew, Edward. You can't make it right through her.
Though Edward insisted he could, if he was extra careful this time. She wouldn't die like his sweet broken Andrew.
In the beginnings he had encouraged it. Happy, for first time in too long for anything the brought Edward up from the surface of his depression. Even if such a burden was placed on the unwitting and unqualified shoulders of the towns sheriffs daughter. But as the year went on and Edward became more involved Carlisle retracted his first opinion.
He no longer welcomed the idea of courting Isabella Swan. Not after Edward had sat him down and told him excitedly how alike she was to Andrew. How he had done his research and found a direct link. Bella Swan was the great, great granddaughter to his dead beloved.
"They have the same eyes, Carlisle. And the same laugh. They're so alike, I can feel it. Its my chance to make everything right. I won't ruin it this time no matter what Alice sees."
Carlisle felt a familiar burning in the back of his throat, a rising of emotion that came every time he thought of Bella anymore.
When Edward had reached out to Bella as the tourniquet to his soul, Carlisle had hesitant to offer his encouragement. On one hand it would seem Edward had found something tangible to hold onto after Andrews death. On the other, as father he saw another heartbreak he would inevitably need to sooth.
What surprised him however, was his own attachment to Bella. She was incredibly easy to love in a non-threatening way. She was was Bright and smart. Curious to an extreme fault and easy to love. But painfully forgettable. Emmett only enjoyed her company for the amusement it could provide, while his mate openly resented her humanity and obvious willingness to end. Rosalie saw her as stupid and vain, ungrateful for the gift of life she own and silently, reluctantly Carlisle agreed.
Bella was a good girl in every conceivable way, expect there was something in her that remained unsettling. For Carlisle it was a recklessness, the way she through her self in the face of danger with such abandon. The way she had taken to Edward's.. condition so readily, and anxiously even, eager to find out what should could of them and (not so secretly) the desire to become one of them. It was unsettling for a person like Carlisle who never met a turned vampire who'd ever wished such a fate upon themselves. And as for the ones that did, they never lived passed the fledgling stage. She's be torn to sunder in their world.
She was a product of divorce, grasping for any sign of love she could claim exclusively. Desperate for it and clung to it what found with both hands. She could never handle being alone, not after feeling alone for most of her life and probably would never have to be. She'd drop and acquire lovers with an ease most women envied with her easy nature. She'd also remain miserable. Searching for the unattainable and resenting her lovers for being unable to (rise to) her very unreal (standards). Her baggage would be incredible, and only the right kind of man would be able to handle it.
Edward was not that man. A broken specimen himself, but unlike Bella as far he knew, Edward could still fix himself. But it was a process that would take time, and level of patience Edward never had. He wanted results as quickly as the wants popped in existence. He wanted answers to questions only he could possible answer. And all his problems to fixed by someone else when the only one who could truly fix him was himself.
He had submerged himself in his own self-pity after Andrews execution and sought to blame everyone for his death. He accused Carlisle of never wanting him to be happy without him and that he'd been the cause of Andrew's trial. While true Carlisle had blown the whistle on Andrew but he never would have if the fledglings existence hadn't put his own in danger. He had the weighty choose of sacrificing Edwards and his own happiness to save his child's life. He'd chosen his child, and he would again even if it meant Edward would never forgive him.
And Edward never forgiven him. It was a father's trained eye that told him so, in dark moments when Edward fixate upon with such resentment and blame. Carlisle felt the guilt eat away but knew in his heart, he'd been right. Edward would find a way to fix himself and than they would move on, of that he was sure.
Decades past and Edward remained just as broken. Alice joined the coven alongside Jasper, and immediately upon hearing of Edwards lack of mate, teamed up with Esme to find him the perfect woman. Edward's resentment bloomed into full blown hate, at all of them and it was all Carlisle could do to quail his child's possible defection in the face of his own mate and surrogate child's ignorance. Jasper seemed to understand, being the empathy of their group and remained cautious around Edward for that reason. Emmett was like the puppy who hated seeing his friend in misery, he'd do anything to help 'fix' Edward. Even if it meant sacrificing Bella Swan for the greater good.
Carlisle pressed a heavy hand over his eyes and refocused on the one with the most to lose.
When Edward had reached out to Bella as the tourniquet to his soul, Carlisle had hesitated to offer his encouragement. He feared for his child much like he feared for them all. After the incident with James and the Victoria's army, Bella had become a liability. One Carlisle was't about to bet loves over keeping if it meant the endangerment of her family.
She had nothing real to offer any of them other than Edward and that was shaky excuse for love with an actual leg to stand on. Therefore it made no sense to keep her around. If Edward was not his first he would have ordered him as his master to let her go before any of this had ever started. His head throbbed with indecision.
Life would have been so easy had she been anyone else.
Had she been anyone else Edward wouldn't have spared her a glance. It was her misfortune to share the same blood type of her dead great grandfather. The spark that drove Edward to dig deeper into her past. When he discovered through the hospital archives that she was the direct great great granddaughter of his beloved Andrew, the idea that she had been sent a form repentance for his sin had solidified. He was beyond seeing reason after his discovery.
She would be his path to salvation voluntarily or by force, and in loving her he would be cleansed of his sins. The idea was so absurd that Carlisle didn't whether laugh or cry. Instead he felt incredibly said for her. She was not loved for herself, which was heartbreaking since all girls should loved for themselves, but rather she was loved for he person she meant to replace.
'You have been given a short hand in life my girl, even if you do not believe it.'
'Carlisle." a familiar voice cut through his minds wanderings as sharply as it intended to, that had him blinking back into awareness. Carlisle turned his head toward the noise, having been so internally absorbed that had not heard Edward come up behind him.
His child stood a distance away, have consumed by shadow his demeanor taught. Carlisle extended a hand toward him welcome but it went unaccepted. He let it drop onto his lap again, limp.
"Yes my child."
"Your thinking too much again."
In a moment he was gone again, leaving Carlisle to stare down at his limp hand and silent agreeing. He had been thinking too much again.