CSI – At Last (WHN "One to Go")

by Susan Dietz (Calim1)
Rating and Reader Alerts: PG
Category: GG/SS/DRA/AU

Summary: He'd left his job and gone to her hoping to regain that which he'd lost. Would he find what he was looking for or return empty handed?

© June 2010

Feedback is appreciated

Disclaimer: The characters and general situations in this story are the property of CBS and Jerry Bruckheimer, however I reserve the rights to the specific details. It is not my intention to infringe upon their rights; this story is purely for the enjoyment of fans. Please do not redistribute in any form.

Too Late

Her hair was shorter and curly. She looked liked she'd put on some weight – not a lot, just enough in his book. She was taking pictures of a monkey sitting in a tree.

He wanted to see her face; wanted to know if he'd just made the biggest mistake of his life, but her back was to him and he found he couldn't make a sound or move. Stuck he was as he'd been most of his life.

A noise came at him and he looked, and so did she. A young man came running out of the jungle, a big smile on his face as he saw her. She pulled down her camera and smiled back. Then they were in each other's arms.

His stomach dropped to his feet; his heart raced and his mouth fell open.

He was too late.

All the time he'd wasted, all the words he couldn't say, were not lost. He had the rest of his life to ponder his inability to tell her how much he loved her in his own words and not someone else's, while this scene would play out over and over in his memory for the rest of his days.

Ducking his head so as not to intrude, he turned away making himself move back down the trail, to where he didn't know. He'd left his life behind in hopes of starting a new one with the woman he loved. But that was gone now so he might as well disappear off the radar. It was better that way. He didn't need to be social with bugs.

How he wished Hank was with him. To have someone to listen to the burning of his heart and only return wet kisses and soft whimpers as an acceptance of who he was would do his broken heart good.

His life was over and he wasn't fine with that at all.

Was that . . .

She heard a noise and looked up into the eyes of a monkey perched in a tree. The camera came up and she lost herself in the joys of seeing a wild thing feed itself. It had been a long road for her to get 'back to nature', as she thought of it, and away from a daily dose of death but she'd made it. Although there had been such a great sacrifice along the way - she'd left the one she loved the most behind.

She still thought of him on a daily basis, usually when the sun was going down and the moon was rising. Thinking of all the time they'd spent together and how much he'd loved her and how she'd turned her back on him and walked away, something she'd promised never to do. And now she was here taking pictures of a monkey when all she really wanted was to fall into his arms and feel his love wash over her.

Something was coming. She heard it in the brush and pulled the camera from her face only to see the bright shiny smile of Antonio emerging from the jungle. The next thing she knew he was in her arms holding her tightly jabbering on about what he'd seen and the photos he'd taken. His excitement crept into her as he jumped up and down in her arms, turning them as he moved. She couldn't help but smile at his exuberance.

As Antonio stopped jumping and rattled on a movement caught her eye over his shoulder and she blinked.

Had she just seen . . . ?

Was that . . . ?

Someone came out of the nearby tent and called to Antonio and he quickly left her standing alone staring into the jungle. Now was her opportunity to move but she found herself rooted to the spot as the instant replayed itself.

No one else had one like that.

But it couldn't be. It just couldn't be.

Shaking her head she forced herself to find out, following along the barely there trail after what she'd seen, no doubt chasing a dream and nothing more. But she had to find out. If it was a figment of her overeager imagination maybe it was a sign, a sign to go home and repair what she'd damaged.

But if it was true . . .

A smile blossomed at the thought and she quickened her pace.

Alone

His eyes caught a brightly colored bug sunning itself on a leaf and he stopped to admire it and found he didn't care. He didn't even pull up his camera.

Instead his mind traveled back to when he was happy which seemed so very long ago. It was a time he had everything within his grasp and, somehow, he'd lost it. He never fully understood how.

He'd loved her like no other; had given her his trust, his secrets, the key to understanding what made him tick and still she'd left. Betrayal and anger raised its ugly head followed soon after by hurt and sorrow that seemed to bury him as each day passed. And when he'd received her video everything collided into one big mass of mourning from which he found it hard to pull out of. Each case crushed him; each death derailed him until he felt like closing his eyes and never waking up. All of them seemed to relate to how he felt – lost, abandoned, vulnerable, useless.

And then he just couldn't do it anymore. His burn out was complete and all he wanted was her. Even if she had moved on he hadn't and wasn't going to, no matter how hard he tried, so the only resolution was confrontation without any preamble. It was best that way. It would only take the first few seconds, the first look to find out exactly where he stood.

And, boy, had he.

He always wondered if she'd gotten over him while he pined away and would until the end of time and now he knew the answer. Perhaps it's easier for the young to move on, find someone new who didn't constantly remind you of death.

Moving away from the bug, he carried on aimlessly not bothering to quell the tears that bloomed nor wipe them away as they fell. He was sure he deserved everything that had happened. Apparently he wasn't worthy of the promises given.

At least he still had Hank.

Come back

The barely there trail was as clear to her as a well lit street, her feet moving quickly along it in hopes of running into what she wanted more than anything in the world.

Her stomach flopped.

If it was him . . . he'd come all this way . . . for her.

Her heart soared at the thought. She'd thought it was over but, if he was here that meant . . . everything.

Berating herself for thinking things were one way when, in fact, it could all just be a massive hallucination, she tried to think on other things. What was for dinner that evening and would she find another snake in her bed? Would it rain this afternoon or would a storm blow in instead?

But it was difficult as her imagination reared up and tossed a picture of him beaming at her as he held a puppy in his hands that turned into their loveable boxer, Hank; the big bowl of soup he'd brought to her sick bed telling her it was his mother's recipe and could cure anything. Then there was their first kiss, soft and chaste, leading to so many other things followed by the look on his face of pure love as she'd opened her eyes in the helicopter to see his name emblazoned across his vest and how lucky she felt to know him at all.

How each of those moments stuck to her like glue only quickened her pace until she came to a flat stop at the sight before her.

Her breath caught.

She had seen it.

There was no one else in the world with a hat like that.

At Last

He slumped onto a rock and dropped his face into his hands trying to quell the memories that assailed him wondering once again if he'd ever be rid of them. But the same question always came after such thoughts – did he want to lose them for they made up so much of his life and to toss them aside, no matter how painful, would be like erasing her from everything that meant so much to him.

He couldn't do that for those thoughts could get him through a day when things seemed endless. Unfortunately they weren't working today.

Running a hand over his face, he sat up straight and looked out into the jungle, heaving a heavy sigh. It was time to go, time to search for someplace to call home. His life was his own now and, as much as he might hate it, he still had breath in him. No use wasting it.

He stood, rotated his shoulders to settle his backpack and stepped forward only to come to an abrupt stop at the familiar voice echoing in his ears. He frowned and shook his head.

It was his imagination. Nothing more.

But it came again and he slammed shut his eyes.

No, no, no! Damn, she'd seen him!

He couldn't turn. He couldn't see the pity, the disappointment, the anger that his sudden appearance caused. She was with someone else and happy. She'd said she was happy and she was. He wouldn't take that from her no matter how unhappy he'd become.

A shiver ran through him when he felt her hand on his shoulder but still his eyes remained closed. He could feel her presence move in front of him, felt both hands upon him and yet he still couldn't bring himself to look at her, to see her love for another, to hear how she wished he hadn't come. He didn't want to add that memory to his collection.

But the fates were smiling that day as her fingers lifted his chin, and then her hands held the sides of his face just before her lips brushed lightly across his causing him to suck in a breath and lean back. His eyes shot open and he found himself looking directly into those chocolate brown pools he knew so well. Nowhere did he see anger nor did he feel it as her hands pushed off his hat and her fingers roamed through his hair.

He didn't know what to do with his hands even though they ached to hold her but it seemed she knew what to do as her lips once again found his, asking, demanding and he couldn't do anything but respond as all those months of agony came rushing out from where he'd hidden them.

His arms wrapped about her and he poured everything into the kiss that made every part of the both of them tingle. They came up for air only because they had to then jumped right back in as their hands roamed and their bodies melded together with the intense passion that rose between them. Never in either of their lives had they felt so alive, aware of only the other as if the world no longer existed.

And then they parted, both breathing heavily. She laid small kisses all over his face while he just stared at his beloved in his arms again only to gently push her back and stare into her eyes, searching for what all this meant. He took a small step back feeling as if a plug had been pulled as he dreaded the answer to his question, a question that refused to pass his lips.

Before words could form her hand found his face, gently stroking his cheek, tears gathering in her eyes. He trembled at her touch, the sensation of her skin against his verifying that she was really standing here before him.

"You're really here," she whispered, breaking the silence but not the contact.

"I-I didn't know if . . ." he stammered trying to still his racing heart and not succeeding. "I should've called."

She frowned a bit then clarity arrived at the anxious look upon his face. "His name is Antonio," she began, "and he's happily married to Juanita."

"Oh," was all he said, a bit of relief sweeping through him.

She watched him, watched his eyes and knew he still wasn't sure of where he stood. If only she could make him see how much she'd missed him, how much she regretted how she'd left and how much she loved him.

"I thought I'd never see you again," she said. "I thought I'd ruined everything and didn't know how to get you back."

"You never lost me," he quickly answered brushing back a strand of hair from her cheek.

"Even after the way I left and then that video?" She looked away then. "I don't know how you can be here."

"I had to come. My heart wouldn't let me do anything else."

Her eyes were shining as she laid her head against his chest to hear the beating of that glorious heart. She wrapped him tightly in her arms, feeling his arms doing the same. It was like a fairytale – a meeting in the woods, something lost that was found, true love will out.

Could it be that easy?

He devoured the feeling of her resting against him and would always remember it. It was as if the clouds that had hung about him these many months parted, allowing the sun to shine brightly upon him resurrecting the charred mass that had become his heart. The happiness that threatened to engulf him couldn't possibly be real for feelings like that only happened in the movies.

"I was afraid I'd waited too long," he quietly said. "Afraid you would turn me away. I've never been more scared of anything in my life. I figured it would just be me and Hank because there would never be anyone else but you."

"Can you forgive me?" she said looking up at him. "Can you forgive me for running away? For not letting you know I couldn't live without you? For making you question my love for you?"

"Never," he answered watching the shocked look cross her face. He quickly placed both hands on the sides of her face. "For there is nothing to forgive."

A single tear strolled its way down her cheek and he kissed it away thanking whoever would listen for giving him everything he'd ever wanted.

"Will you do something for me?" he asked.

"Anything."

"Whenever it gets to be too much for you, come to me, even if I'm the problem. I can't bear the thought of you leaving me behind again without an explanation that I will understand."

Looking into his eyes she couldn't keep her chin from quivering. It was all there – the pain, the anguish, the uncertainty even now. And she'd put it there. She would never do that again.

"I promise," she answered her voice cracking. "I don't ever want to see again that look in your eyes that I see now. You are the best thing that ever happened to me. I don't ever want to be the one that makes you doubt that. I love you."

He grinned then, his tears overflowing those brilliant blue eyes.

"And I love you. Please marry me."

"Are you sure?"

"More than I've ever been sure of anything in my life," came his truthful answer as he waited and wondered if she would say the words he'd heard once before from her so long ago.

He watched her face change as her eyes sparkled from more than tears and her smile lit up his world

"I will marry you as I should've done when you first asked me. I never dared believe that you would ask me again."

"I'll ask you over and over in all the years to come."

"And I shall answer yes each and every time."

"I love you, Sara Sidle."

"And I love you, Gil Grissom."

With that they kissed as if their lives depended upon it and the only one to witness this vow of eternal love was a small black and white monkey sitting in a tree high above them without a care in the world.

At Last

Written by Mack Gordon/HarryWarren (1941)

At last,

my love has come along

my lonely days are over

and life is like a song.

Oh, yeah, at last

the skies above are blue

my heart was wrapped up in clovers

the night I looked at you

I found a dream that I could speak to

a dream that I can call my own

I found a thrill to rest my cheek to

a thrill that I have never known

Oh, yeah when you smile, you smile

oh, and then the spell was cast

and here we are in heaven

for you are mine

at last.