I know, another season 4 fic :)
This is set during S 4 after the bomb case. C&B carried a FWB relationship throughout the season.
Kate was standing awkwardly in front of Castle's door, unsure about whether to knock or simply run away.
Latter would be the easy way out.
Who was she kidding? There was no easy way out.
She sighed heavily and kneaded her fingers over and over again until they were beginning to get sweaty and rubbed them dry on her jeans.
God, she was screwed.
She needed to knock.
Tell Castle.
The brunette made a list in her head.
First: calm down
Second: gather up courage to knock
Third: actually knock
Fourth: tell him
Fifth: wait for an answer
That was as far as she had come so far. If you could even call it far.
Pathetic, she told herself.
She is used to intimidate people on a daily basis but speaking to Castle, rather confessing, was more frightening than questioning a sleazy mob boss.
The Detective moved a step and took a final breath before she knocked on the door.
While she was knocking she changed her mind and her fist opened and it sounded as if she had slapped the door.
Shoot!
She quickly covered her mouth with her right hand in shock and stumbled backwards.
Apparently nobody had heard her. There was still no noise coming from inside the loft, no commotion.
Kate scrunched her nose, pinning it at the same time and sighed again.
God how did the situation just get this fucked up?
The Brunette took another deep breath and while breathing out, she moved her hands in front of her chest, following her breathing.
She calmed down slightly and decided to gather up her courage.
Once again.
Taking a step forward she finally knocked. Three times.
It took 30 seconds for the door to swing open and revealing an angry looking Castle at her. Worse, a blonde bimbo was standing behind him, claiming and holding his hand, showing off that she was with him.
Kate's heart clogged up. She wasn't prepared for this.
"Beckett."
He acknowledged. His tone was icy, cold and derogatory.
Looking her up and down he finally settled his gaze on her face.
Putting on a sarcastic face and with a reassuring handshake of the blonde behind him, he finally spoke.
"What do you want? I quit."
"Castle can we talk somewhere in private?"
She asked tentatively trying to stay calm.
He looked at her with a funny reproachful sarcastic expression.
His eyebrows shot up his forehead and he leaned intimidatingly towards her.
Kate took a step back unsure of the situation.
"You want to talk?"
He laughed.
"Beckett I don't want to talk, we're over. I will no longer bothering to follow you around like a love sick puppy. It's over. O-V-E-R. Get it: over!"
He took a step back and draped his arm across Jacinda's waist looking at Kate intensively.
Kate gasped.
He continued:
"You knew that I loved you and you just felt like you would have me running behind you to amuse you. Classy Beckett."
She got angry.
"Castle I never did that. "
He huffed.
"Of course."
And shared a glance with the blonde who broke out in laughter
Kate didn't know what to do. Her plan was falling apart.
"Castle, listen I didn't know how to deal with it, the love part."
He laughed.
"Yeah, as if. In one year you could not deal with it. Only taking from me the whole time and never giving anything back. That's over now Kate. Over."
Kate swallowed and looked at her feet.
"Ehm… "She stopped and shit her heart was breaking.
"Castle could we still please talk?"
She looked him in the eyes, trying to find something of the old Castle. The one she loved.
He huffed again
"That's your method now?"
He answered sarcastically.
"Why not just fuck it out like last time? I'd have to admit you were a good fuck."
Kate got angry.
"Thanks Castle, classy." Her voice boomed through the hallway, shaking with anger.
"If you don't ever want to talk to "the good fuck"… I'll guess it's settled then. "
He laughed again. He raised his finger and pointed at her while speaking.
"You telling me anything can't change anything Kate. We're over."
God he was such a moron.
She rubbed her palms in her hands.
Don't cry. She told herself over and over.
His voice cut her out of her zoning out.
"Finished?"
He barked impatiently
Kate nodded and he slammed the door into her face.
She was about to break down and panic began to flood over her.
The brunette tried to calm her breathing and sat down next to the elevator. Placing her left palm over her heart she attempted to lower her heartbeat. It worked.
She took out a wrinkled piece of paper, scrunched in her left pocked and smoothed it, yet the wrinkles didn't go completely away.
She looked at it again, the word that changed everything. Shattered her world to pieces.
Pregnant.
She was pregnant.
A blood test Lanie did confirmed it.
She was pregnant with Castle's child.
She closed her eyes, leaning her head against the wall.
Exhaling.
She needed to tell him. He had a right to know.
She ripped a piece from the test result and wrote down a message for him.
Castle I'm pregnant and it's yours.
Since we don't talk I decided to let you know this way. Beckett
She bit down on her bottom lip, thinking. Was this really the right way to do it?
Nodding to herself she got up.
She shoved it under his door and left his building.
They were doomed right from the beginning, was the last thing she thought before exiting his building and disappearing into the night. Away from Richard Castle.