3. Trouble in Mini
Genesis hurried down the halls, knowing exactly where he was heading, and dreading every step. The box in his arms emanated high pitched squeaks of rage as the four occupants were jostled badly.
Zack was complaining loudly as his arms windmilled, accidentally hitting a sulking Cloud in the back of the head. Cloud glared lasers at the ravenette, silently cursing his own blondness and his friends brainlessness. "WOULD YOU WATCH WHAT YOUR DOING ZACK!"
"IT'S NOT MY FAULT YOUR HEAD WAS IN THE WAY! WHY DO YOU ALL BLAME ME
FOR EVERYTHING?"
"BECAUSE YOUR THE ONE THAT DOES EVERYTHING!"
"HEY! I WASN'T THE ONE SUGGESTING A DEMONSTRATION EARLIER YOU KNOW!"
"BUT YOU WERE DUMB ENOUGH TO GO THROUGH WITH IT! SO WHAT IF I SUGGESTED IT! YOU STILL MADE IT HAPPEN!"
"I DO NOT AGREE! BECAUSE I WOULDN'T HAVE MADE IT HAPPEN IF YOU HADN'T ASKED FOR ME TO MAKE IT HAPPEN!"
"ARE YOU LAYING THE BLAME ON ME? YOU KNOW SOMETHING ZACK? YOUR AN IDIOT!"
"IDIOT! WHAT DO YOU MEAN IDIOT! FINE! IF I'M AN IDIOT THEN THAT MAKES YOU A DOUBLE IDIOT!"
The two continued two scream and holler at each other till their faces turned blue from lack of air.
Sephiroth, who had been sitting in a corner ignoring the two, as best as one could when trapped in the same proximity with them, lost it. "WOULD YOU TWO JUST SHUT UP? WE'RE IN A SMALL BOX TOGETHER, SO WE MIGHT AS WELL GET ALONG!"
Cloud silenced immediately, no doubt because he was intimidated. Zack however screamed right back.
Nearing the large metal doors, Genesis tugged on the over sized handles. The doors opened with a click, not really something you would expect from something so huge. The sterile air in the lab smelt like antiseptic in a nauseating way. Stepping in, Genesis glared suspiciously at his surroundings, he never trusted Hojo, not even for a minute, whether the freaky man was in the lab or not, didn't matter, he was still capable of doing something strange to you.
Spying the good Professor at the far end of the lab staring at a computer screen that was blinking crazily with green circle and triangles. Stepping forward, Genesis marched up to the man that was cackling insanely with glee.
"Ahem. Professor, I was wondering if you could help me with a small problem." even the thought of asking such a man for help made him sick to the stomach, but he didn't have a choice in this matter.
The man in the stained lab coat chortled evilly before looking up. "Well," he said in his nasally voice creepily, sending shivers down the commander's spine. "this is interesting. Yes very interesting. And what, pray tell, are you referring to?"
"This." Rather reluctant to put his friends in the hands of a mad man, Genesis placed the box on a nearby table. "Some idiot cast mini on them and I'd like you to find a cure."
The mini's gazed with wide terror filled eyes up at the man who's lips were split in an oily leer, and the thick black rimmed glasses practically hanging off the tip of his nose, thick strands of black hair hanging out of his ponytail around his face, greasy to the point it was no doubt flammable.
"I see, obviously you are not intelligent enough to comprehend the simplicity of this situation." he was speaking to Genesis, who was fuming in the background, imagining all the messy ways to assassinate the much hated man.
"Are you saying you know how to fix it, oh great Professor." Genesis said, sarcasm and disgust practically dripping off his words, loathing the man a thousand time more than ever before.
"As a matter of fact, I do. There is no cure." the scientist stated flatly, enjoying the expression of dismay on the redheaded commander's face.
"Your saying they're stuck like this forever?"
"No."
"What do you mean 'no'? You just said there is no cure."
"I said there was no cure, yes. But I never said it was permanent." Hojo said turning back to the still flashing computer screen.
"So it'll wear off then."
Sparring the man an annoyed glance, answered with a single word, "Eventually." before typing away mercilessly on the worn keyboard. No doubt considering the discussion closed.
Snatching the box from the table, Genesis fled the lab with as much dignity as could be mustered. Genesis breathed a sigh of relief. The way the man looked at him felt like roaches crawling across his perfect skin, and his smile was worse, it was like being sexually harassed. And if that's how Genesis felt, you can't even imagine how it was for the mini's.
Even if the feeling of relief from the knowledge they'd gained was deep, the grateful feeling from escaping that creepy man and his creepy lab was way deeper. Stepping briskly down the white walled corridors, Genesis carried his brood back to his apartment for the rest of the evening.
...
Reno sat in one of Tseng's office chairs, tenderly touching his beat up face. It turned out Rude wasn't the only one wanting to kill him. Tseng had freaked when he saw the gum smiling up at him from inside his coffee mug, and Elena went into conniptions when she found the tarantula's in her desk drawer, literally.
As it was, Reno's future wasn't looking very pleasant.
Tseng was in mid-rant, standing over him like a displeased parent. Tseng didn't understand why Reno did such things, why he caused trouble just for fun, but what he didn't understand most was how Rude could put up with it all and not go insane. "So what do you have to say for yourself?"
Chin sunk on his chest, Reno mumbled into the white depths that was his shirt.
"It's very irresponsible of you Reno, and I would like a stop put to this foolish behavior." Elena chirped her agreement from the sidelines as she leaned forward, hands on hips.
"Sorry." a sorrowfully dejected soft voice spoke from their midst, it sounded like he really meant it. Elena was instantly reproachful of herself for having been so cruel. "It's okay Reno, we forgive you. Oh come on, please don't take it so hard, your making me feel terrible."
Tseng on the other hand, wasn't so forgiving. "You are an idiot Reno, having fun at others expense, it's wrong and selfish and you know it! Now this is a warning Reno and I'll only give it once! Next time you will not be paid for three months, and will be placed under house arrest! Do you understand me?"
"Tseng! Don't be so mean! Can't you see he's sorry?" the blond Turk rebuked, placing protecting hands on Reno's shoulders.
"Don't you dare go defending him Elena! Or have you forgotten all the terrible pranks he's played on you!"
"No I have not forgotten, but I have forgiven! Don't you see Tseng, telling him he can't do those things would be saying he's not allowed to be himself anymore!"
Rude had to admit, Reno could definitely play the crowd.
Tseng pinched the bridge of his nose, exasperation lacing his every movement. Why? Why did it have to go this way?
Glaring angrily at him, Elena gave the lanky man's shoulders a light squeeze. Rude face-palmed, this was going nowhere.
"Fine. I'll let you off this time Reno. But..." as soon as the first words left his mouth, Reno was gone in a blur of red and white, but not without a quick peck on Elena's cheek first.
Easing himself into a chair, Tseng massaged his temples, casting an annoyed glance in the female Turk's direction, sighed. Elena stood off to the side, blushing madly with two fingers pressed against a cheek. While Rude had completely vanished from the room, departure unnoticed.
Tseng found himself wondering when he'd become so lax as to not notice.
...
Genesis lounged on his sofa, thoroughly engrossed in a very use beaten leather bound LOVELESS copy. Zack and Cloud lay not far away on the other sofa across the coffee table, rapped comfortably in the folds of a quilt. Angeal sat close to them, watching over them with an affectionate and parental eye; while Sephiroth was wandering around the apartment somewhere.
"…the fates are cruel
There are no dreams, no honor remains.
The arrow has left the bow of the goddess.
My Soul corrupted by vengeance,
Hath endured torment,
To find the end of the journey in my own salvation.
And Your eternal slumber.
Now what I want most...
is the 'Gift of the Goddess'…"
The words slipped so easily from his lips, he'd quoted the poetic words a thousand times, and it never failed to bring him peace. Closing his eyes briefly, Genesis sighed contentedly.
Finally, heaving a regretful sigh, levered himself off the couch, the floor was warm on his bare feet as he gazed down at his charges.
Angeal yawned tiredly into his hand.
Ah. Bedtime.
Turning off the lights, leaving only one small lamp on, "Goodnight Angeal." Genesis said quietly before slipping into the darkened hall that led to his bedroom.
...
The next morning started as usual, well, as usual as it can be with four mini-fied SOLDIERS running amok in ones kitchen, it was around six in the morning and a blissfully unaware Genesis, snored gently into his pillow.
The sounds of scratching and squeaking issued from behind the kitchen door; it would not be accurate to say that the room was motionless, indeed, anything but.
Angeal stood on the rim of a large bowl, wrestling with a stirring stick, his features contorted into a determined frown as he mixed the pancake batter. The sounds of chopping could be heard not far away as Sephiroth swung Masamune down upon a plump round blueberry; the counter top beneath his feet was coated thickly with the sticky juice.
Somehow, Zack and Cloud had managed to open the cutlery drawer and said blond just so happened to have gotten himself lost in it. Zack hovered by the edge, worry lasing his features as he peered anxiously into the darkness, he'd noticed the large knives haphazardly laying around it there, and silently prayed that the cute blond that was his friend hadn't accidentally cut his hand off on them.
"Zack! I need more flour!" Angeal called from his precarious position on the mixing bowl.
Figuring that he would be back before Cloud noticed, Zack scooted off with a "Right!" called enthusiastically over his shoulder. The flour bin had been painstakingly shoved into the centre of the kitchen floor, the lid had been pried off and a measuring cup placed beside it with multiple piles of white flour littering the tiles when Zack failed to aim correctly. He stood up to his knees in the white powder, a spoon held like a shovel in his gloved hands as he sweated profusely, wiping his brow with his forearm as he took a short breather.
"Zack! Zack! Help I can't get out! Zaaaaaaack!" Cloud begged from the cutlery drawer. Zack had been meant to pull him out when he'd found the required tool, however, his friend was nowhere to be seen. The inside of the drawer was dark and full of sharp objects, Cloud, having always had a phobia of such places, backed into the corner and huddled in it. "Zaaaaack...?" The pleading hadn't left his voice as he began to pant frantically, large tears welling up in his eyes and spilling down his cheeks as he dissolved into hysterics.
"Zack! Where's the flour! I need it!" Angeal called patiently, completely used to the way Zack worked.
"Coming! I'm coming!" the young SOLDIER called from the depths of the flour bin as he threw one last spoonful over his shoulder, a tad too forcefully.
"Aaargh...!"
Lifting the half full measuring cup from its place, walked with wobbling legs towards the step ladder that they used to gain access to the counter top, it was very heavy. The process of ascending to the counter top was long and slow, but eventually, patients and determination achieved its victory.
Placing his burden down beside the mixing bowl where Angeal stood looking down at him fondly, froze when an ice cold voice drew out his name. "Zack." The voice belonged to Sephiroth, his entire front was covered in a sticky blue juice that had turned his bangs purple from when he landed face first in his work zone when a large spoonful of flour that had a hard clump in it clobbered him in the back of the head. Lifting Masamune until it was pointed at Zack's throat, who laughed nervously as he backed up, only to scream like a little girl and flee for his very life, with an enraged Sephiroth hot on his heals; slamming into the mixing bowl in the process.
"Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!!" Angeal's arms flailed wildly before disappearing with a splurk into the goop.
Cloud cried fountains from the depths of the cutlery drawer.
Zack scrambled willy-nilly, tearing across the counter bumping into objects, sending a glass cup off the edge to shatter on the tile floor, leaping down the step ladder and running circles in the flour fields, scattering the white powder in all directions. And Sephiroth was behind him, Masamune swinging all the way.
Genesis jolted awake at the sound of glass shattering against a hard floor, crashing pots and pans, with the enraged squeaks and terrified squeals like crazy squirrels coming from his kitchen. Tossing the covers off his legs, the morning rumpled Commander crammed his feet into his fuzzy rabbit slippers as he hurriedly pulled on his house coat.
Throwing the kitchen door open, Genesis gaped in horror at the scene before him. His once beautifully well kept kitchen was in total chaos, flour covered the floor, a pink and purple Sephiroth chased Zack across the room thoroughly intent on killing him. The counters were covered in blueberry juice and an entire carton of spilt milk, eggs, flour, butter, and dishes. An incessant wailing could be heard in his cutlery drawer and Angeal was nowhere to be seen... wait.
Where was Angeal?
Genesis glared into every corner of the kitchen from his place in the doorway, and he could still not find Angeal. There was some blubbing in the goop that was supposed to be pancake batter. Pausing, Genesis scowled at it.
A sludgy goopy body emerged from the batter like the mud monster himself.
"ANGEAL!"
The entire room froze, Zack stopped running, while Sephiroth, momentarily distracted, collided into his back head on. Causing them both to land face first in a broken egg, as Masamune slipped from the General's hand to fly high in the air, ping against a beautiful crystal vase and land wobbling in the center of a block of butter.
The crystal vase, that had already been precariously close to the edge, was given the tiny push that it needed to fall sorrowfully into the arms of gravity.
SMASH!
"EEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!"
The gently cooing pigeons nestled into the trees and buildings, took off in a flurry of terror and panic at the ear splitting scream that emerged from the apartment of Commander Genesis Rhapsodos.
As it was, the four mini's were forbidden to ever try and cook again, Cloud had eventually been fished out of the cutlery drawer, while Zack, Sephiroth and Angeal were set in the sink to wash themselves.
And if this wasn't enough, Genesis still hadn't forgiven Zack for blowing up his toaster the last time the young SOLDIER had tried to cook something at his place.