Mario Wants an Omelet so Luigi Goes Out to Buy Some Eggs
CHAPTER 1
Boy, I sure could go for an omelet.
I mean, really. That would be really nice.
If someone were to go make me one, I'd appreciate it.
Luigi, aren't you good at making omelets?
"Darn it Mario! Make your own freaking omelet!"
"But I always buuurrrnnn them..."
So Luigi went out to buy some eggs and make Mario an omelet. As he was walking down the street he noticed a coin laying in the storm drain. As he reached down to get it, he suddenly got booted in the rear by someone. Getting up in a huff, he looked around to find this cruel assailant but saw nobody around.
Shrugging his shoulders, he bent down again to grab the coin... but it wasn't there! Luigi sighed and continued walking down the street.
Pit pat pit pat
He whirled around to search for those suspicious footsteps, but saw nothing. Gulping, he continued walking down the sidewalk.
Pit pat pit pat pi...
"WHO'S THERE!" Luigi shouted as he spun around and glanced at the nearby alleyways and buildings. Nobody was around. This was especially unusual, seeing as it was a sunny and beautiful Saturday and he was walking on the busiest street in the Mushroom Kingdom.
"I'll scream for help! I r-really will!" He said, with a stutter.
He received no answer.
By this point, Luigi had already peed his pants, had a fit of diarrhea, and vomited seven times. Fortunately, he had become accustomed to such "accidents" and changed himself in broad daylight. He began to take a casual jog down the street
pit pat pit pat pit
and then, because he was feeling so energetic, increased to a relaxing sprint.
pit pat pit pat pit pat pit pat pit
But the weather was oh so lovely and so he decided to push himself a bit more into a butt-cheeks-flapping-in-the-wind death dash just to warm his muscles up a bit.
PITPATPITPATPITPATPITPAT-
"OH FOR THE LOVE OF GOD HELP ME PLEASE IVE GOT THIS THING CHASING ME AND ITS GOING PITPAT AND I'M SCARED OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD!"
Then Luigi had a heart-attack.