The Scene Chapter 1: The Scene, a katawa shoujo fanfic

The Scene
by Cyberchao X

Disclaimer: Will be coming at the end of the fic.

CCX: A few people have noted that some of the girls would seemingly be better off without Hisao's interference, and Rin definitely seems to be one of those. In this one, without Hisao's prodding, Rin waits a bit longer before having her work displayed. I'm not exactly sure when the various characters' birthdays fall—we know that Hisao turned 18 while he was in the hospital, but not when Rin turns 18 or when Emi, a year older than the rest of the cast, turns 19. In this fic, Rin is 20 and the others are…whatever age they'd be, depending on whether making Rin 20 places this two years after the gallery opening would've happened in Rin's route or three years after it.

Also, please ignore the fact that there's one line that blatantly does not apply here. Sometimes, sacrifices must be made for songfics.

I checked the number on my cell phone. Rin? That's odd; she rarely calls me. Usually I'm the one to call her, just to check in on her and make sure she's doing alright. "Hello?"

"I thought I was finally ready to do it, and I still think I am, but I'm really nervous. You and Hisao will be there for me, right?"

"Calm down, Rin. Do what?"

"The gallery thing."

I paused. "Oh…yeah, of course we'll be there. There's no way we'd miss your big opening; you know that."

"Promise me. Promise me you'll be at my side the whole night."

"Of course we will. That's what friends are for, right?"

"If you say so." Rin hung up.

"…We?" Hisao asked me. "What have you volunteered me for?"

"Don't be like that. Rin finally decided to have her artwork put on display, but she's still a bit scared, and she wants her two best friends to be at her side for moral support."

"Ah, well, that's different, then. Normally I hate when you just decide things for me, but Rin's my friend too. So, when is it?"

"…She forgot to say. She can be so aggravating at times." I called her back and asked her about it, and found out when it would be. "Good, that's fine for me. Should be fine for Hisao too, but let me just check." I told him when it was, and he confirmed that it was fine. "Yeah, Hisao too. We'll be there for you, Rin."

"Thanks, Emi. You're the best."

"Yeah, I know. Take care, Rin." I hung up.

This was never the way I planned
Not my intention
I got so brave, drink in hand
Lost my discretion

Much to my surprise, Rin wasn't shying away from her disability at all. "Wow, Rin. I'm not used to seeing you in something sleeveless."

"Yeah, come to think of it, I don't think I ever saw what the ends of Rin's arms looked like," Hisao added. "You look nice."

"Thank you. But now you see why I need the two of you."

"Hmm." I nodded. Using your feet as hands isn't exactly a great idea in social situations even wearing slacks—back in high school, Rin had gotten permission to wear the boys' uniform so that she didn't flash her panties every time she picked something up with her toes—but in a dress, that went double. I noticed that there was a chair with a paintbrush, paints, and a piece of paper on the floor near it in one corner of the gallery, off to the side—it probably was inevitable that people would ask, and she'd be able to give a demonstration that way without having to show anything else off. "Hungry?"

Rin nodded. "But more than that, would like a drink."

"Water?"

Rin narrowed her eyes. "A drink," she repeated, aiming one of her arm stubs in the direction of where a waiterish-looking man was carrying around glasses of wine.

I didn't really drink much, myself—I felt like I'd be a hypocrite if I had alcohol around the apartment that Hisao and I had moved into together, since as part of his "healthier living" plan I refused to let him drink even after he turned 20. I would occasionally have a drink when we went out, though. "Go ahead," he urged me. "I'll be the designated driver, since I never drink anyway."

"I don't need your blessing, Hisao. I was thinking of maybe having one later." Of course, I didn't know the first thing about wine. On the occasions that I did drink, it was usually a mixed drink, one of those fruity things that men never order in public. I told Rin that I usually had sweeter drinks and asked her if there was anything that would appeal to my tastes, and we headed off, Rin watching as I moved my hand around the tray of drinks and telling me which one to take for her and which one to grab for myself. I had to admit, I wasn't terribly comfortable being in a room full of artists either, because I really don't get art. A drink would certainly be helpful.

It's not what
I'm used to
Just wanna try you on
I'm curious for you
Caught my attention

Not surprisingly, the art teacher from Yamaku was here. I guess Rin had still sort of stayed in touch with him after graduation; he seemed to want to live out his own art career vicariously through her, which I always hated about him. But the owner of this gallery was an old friend of his, so I guess in the end he was a big help for her. I was still on my first glass of wine when the time came for Rin to start answering questions, but much to my surprise, she already had me giving her sips from her second glass by then. It's no wonder I worry about her—she apparently took up smoking at one point in an attempt to get her creative juices flowing again, and now that she's of legal drinking age she seems to have developed a hell of a taste for alcohol. I want her to succeed, because she's really passionate about her art and she doesn't get passionate about much, but I can't stand by idly and watch my best friend engage in such self-destructive addictions. Are they even addictions for her? I know that she does smoke because I see the ashes, the discarded butts, but she respects the healthy lifestyle that Hisao and I have devoted ourselves to enough to avoid lighting up around us, and she doesn't even seem to need to go out for a cigarette. I've emptied out her ashtray before and then come back like two weeks later and it apparently hasn't been used at all, but I've also come back the very next day to find it full again. But that's just the way Rin is. She's obviously convinced herself that she only needs to smoke when she's at a loss for ideas. Science, logic would suggest that this is impossible. But that's probably the best way to describe Rin. She's impossible.

"I figured someone would ask about that," she said as someone asked the inevitable question, "so I had Miss Sae set something up in the corner for me to demonstrate." She beckoned for everyone to follow her back. I quickly put down our drinks, knowing full well that in between the wine and the high-heeled shoes—again, it really amazed me to see Rin all dressed up, even if her hair and expression still betrayed her as the girl with her head constantly in the clouds—there was a good chance that she'd need more than just moral support.

She got there without stumbling too much, then asked where I was going. "Just to retrieve our drinks. I wanted to have my hands free just in case; I wasn't sure how good you'd be in heels."

She had already slipped one off so that she could paint, but she said, "Maybe you're right," and decided to take the other off as well. Her painting was…a little less steady than usual. I had a feeling it was the alcohol starting to take effect. She apparently noticed that she was a tad off, too. "I don't usually paint with the canvas below me," she said, trying to explain it away, "but demonstrating my usual technique wouldn't be proper. Normally I'd be wearing pants." The crowd laughed a bit, and I was relieved that her attempts at humor went over properly.

She was also getting good at nonverbally cuing me when to give her her drink, unobtrusively. "You've finished your drink," I said, trying not to draw too much attention to it.

"I know. I want another."

I shook my head. "Fine."

I kissed a girl and I liked it
The taste of her cherry chapstick
I kissed a girl just to try it
I hope my boyfriend don't mind it
It felt so wrong
It felt so right
Don't mean I'm in love tonight
I kissed a girl and I liked it
I liked it

"Normally I'd be doing that on my own, too," she said, "but that seemed like it would be improper regardless of what I wore."

"Is it just me, or has Rin actually gotten better at talking to people?" Hisao asked me.

"I don't know. She sounded like her usual self when she was asking for help. I don't know, maybe she rehearsed or something in order to make a good impression."

"Aren't best friends great?" she asked as I returned. "This is my best friend, Emi. We make a perfect pair because I have no arms and she has no legs."

I resisted the urge to facepalm. "A real friend would've cut you off by now."

"This is only my fi—third glass!" she protested.

"Yeah, yeah. Well, it's also going to be your last one. Actually, I'm going to cut you off now. This one will be for me." I had just finished my first glass anyway, so I took the glass I'd originally gotten for her. She pouted at me, but I'm pout-proof. I give pouts; I can't be susceptible to them. I reminded her that she learned that trick from me. Noticing the stares, though, I urged Hisao to take over watching out for Rin; I wanted to get away from it all.

Stupid Rin. I'm not ashamed of my disability, but I don't go out of my way to call attention to it, either. If it had been out on the track, it would be obvious, but I was wearing what I called my "dress prosthetics"—fairly realistic looking, especially if I wore a long enough dress to cover up the joints and wore stockings, but with the "feet" shaped perfectly to wear with high-heeled shoes. If I'd taken my shoes off, it would've been obvious, but as it was, nobody there would've noticed if she hadn't said anything.

But she did, because she's drunk off her ass. She probably thinks I didn't notice that she started to say "fifth" before changing it to "third". So, she'd already had two glasses before the night even began. I wanted to just shrink to the back, but I knew that she'd been using a studio right above the gallery. I wanted answers as to just how badly she was fucking up her life. Knowing Rin, she probably wouldn't have bothered to lock up—although she might not even have been able to do so easily if it wasn't designed for someone without arms.

No I don't even know your name
It doesn't matter
You're my experimental game
Just human nature

God, what a mess. As expected from Rin. Plenty of ashes strewn around. Wait, I don't see any wine up here. What I do see is hard liquor. Well, at least they do appear to be shot glasses, so I guess her first two drinks were roughly the same as her next two as far as alcohol content goes, even if they were more concentrated. Hopefully she's got some good mixers up here, too…

…Of course. Rin always did love oranges. Orange juice isn't sweet enough on its own…ah, good girl. I'm not sure what this drink is called; it would've been a "screwdriver" with plain orange juice. (A/N: Wikipedia says that what Emi's drinking here is called a "hi-fi". Yeah, drink names are weird.) I quickly downed the rest of the wine and started in on my mixed drink. Now this was more like it…

…How did she get down those stairs in high heels after two drinks, anyway? I probably have more experience in heels than she does, and I'd be unwilling to take these stairs in heels without clinging to the railing—something that she can't do. "Ah, Rin…my impossible girl…"

As I neared the end of my drink, it suddenly dawned on me: I was drinking alone. I was supposed to be here for Rin, and instead, she's down there and I'm up in her apartment downing a mixed drink. I left because she'd drawn attention to me, when it was supposed to be her night…but that was just it. This was her night. I'm an awful friend, aren't I?

I made my way down the stairs. Very slowly, because these legs were pretty much made specifically for walking in high-heeled shoes, so I didn't even have the option that most girls would to take their shoes off to handle the stairs. I really was clinging to the railing. I wasn't sure why I felt so out of it, but halfway down the stairs it suddenly dawned on me—I wasn't all that far behind Rin now. I'd never had three drinks in one night before, and on top of that, I probably took less time to finish the second and third drinks combined than I had to finish the first.

Although I hadn't had all of the second drink. Rin had taken a sip of her glass of wine before I decided to take it away from her. I remember this because when I first sipped from it, I took care to sip from the opposite side of the glass to avoid an indirect kiss, because that would be just weird. Had I kept track of which side was which after I'd carried it up to Rin's temporary living quarters? I couldn't remember.

It's not what
Good girls do
Not how they should behave
My head gets
So confused
Hard to obey

By the time I got to the bottom of the stairs, Hisao and Rin were there. "Rin's apparently had it for the night."

"Oh no…things went that poorly?"

"Nah, they were okay. As an artist, she made a good impression, though like you noted, she's also given off the impression of being a budding alcoholic. I'm going to take her up to the atelier to sleep it off."

"Great. Now I have to trudge all the way back up those stairs."

"You could just wait in the car. You don't look so good yourself, Emi. Two drinks too much for you, too?"

"Three, but that's still less than she had. You didn't notice that she started to say it was her fifth glass and then changed her mind?"

"I thought she was just a little confused."

"Nope. I confirmed that she'd been drinking even before the night began."

"I can still hear you, you know," Rin said.

"Then tell me honestly; am I right? You did a couple of shots of vodka before you even came down here?"

"…Yes."

"I'm worried about you, Rin. I don't want to leave you alone right now. Come on, Hisao," I said, pulling him back toward the street, "we're taking Rin home with us tonight."

"…Seriously?"

"She'll sleep on our couch."

"…Okay. I guess I can't blame you for worrying."

"I can handle myself, Emi!" she protested.

"Shh. I know you can. Just let me do this for you." I gently caressed her face and neck, trying to calm her down. It seemed to work. "Hisao, do you mind if I ride in the back with Rin?"

"Not at all."

"…You walked out on me. You promised you'd be at my side the whole night." Rin was unhappy with me. "Hisao was, but you weren't, Emi."

"I…I wanted to be. But this was your night, and they were staring at me. You…"

"…I messed up. You didn't want anyone to notice that you didn't have legs, did you?"

"Normally I don't mind, but I didn't want to be a distraction."

"I'm sorry." With its usual efficiency, though, her train of thought soon wandered. "Don't you want to take your shoes off, Emi? They can't be comfortable. Mine aren't."

"I don't have real feet, remember? Besides, these are made for wearing impractical shoes with." I removed the shoes anyway, to display the fact that the toes were both pointed and lower than the heels. "I actually can't walk very well with these legs without high-heeled shoes on."

"That must be nice, being able to change your legs out to suit your needs."

"I guess it has its advantages, but your feet are able to adapt to all kinds of different situations."

Rin paused for awhile. "They're like hands. Most girls have nice soft feet, but mine are all tough. This is the nicest they've been in years, but it won't last long." She put her feet up into my lap to show me what she meant. I hadn't even noticed, but as part of making herself look as much like a presentable member of high society as possible, she'd even gotten a pedicure. I didn't think I'd ever see Rin with a pedicure. The fact that her hair was still messy seemed all the more bizarre now—though I guess it was cut short enough that it wasn't too bad.

"Yeah. You really looked beautiful out there tonight, Rin." Rin seemed to be blushing. I hadn't realized she was so shy about being complimented.

…Wait. Maybe that wasn't why she was blushing. I'd begun absent-mindedly stroking the feet that were in my lap—Rin's feet. No big deal; as her hands in situations where her lack of them would prove too problematic, I'd touched her in far more intimate places.

But the atmosphere was different then. Then, we'd be in a bathroom, me helping her reach those tough spots in the shower or to deal with her period, surrounded by drab bathroom tile and unflattering bathroom lights. Now it was dark, and we were in the back seat of a car, and I'd also just paid her a huge compliment. Also, between the two of us we'd had seven drinks. I realized where this was headed and gently returned her feet to the floor.

"I'm sorry, Emi." She snuggled in close to me. Damnit, Rin, what are you doing; you know I'm straight, and besides, Hisao's right there! "I screwed up."

"You were fine. Even without me around, you did okay."

"But I drove you away." Again she moved in closer, giving me what passed for a hug coming from her, and—

Us girls we are so magical
Soft skin, red lips, so kissable
Hard to resist, so touchable
Too good to deny it

Rin, you idiot. You know Hisao has a heart condition. If he looks in the rear view mirror and sees his girlfriend making out with her best friend—probably his best friend from Yamaku as well, actually, assuming that I don't count on account of being his girlfriend, though not his overall best friend any more because he made new friends at university—and has a heart attack because of it, you'd better damn well hope that we either all survive or one of us dies because if he dies I will kill you myself. You stupid, stupid girl.

Beautiful, stupid girl…with soft lips that taste like oranges, and that odd scent of paint that always surrounds you… I guess I shouldn't be surprised that you didn't get any paint on your feet because the paint and paper were below them, but I still am because you're always an adorable mess after you've been painting for awhile. My arms, around your back, move down, past your poor excuses for arms, to pick up those feet I'd just put down. Those wonderful, marvelous, almost magical feet. It always took me longest to get them clean, because they were always covered in paint, but you didn't mind at all. Come to think of it, you always enjoyed that part the most, didn't you?

…You really are impossible, you know that? Your feet cannot possibly be that sensitive; you use them as both hands and feet.

"Aah…"

"Hm?" That was a little moan you just gave there, Rin. You're going to have to explain yourself, or try, anyway. I look ahead; Hisao must not have perceived your cry of pleasure.

Ain't no big deal, it's innocent

"That's…" Practically a whisper. You sense it too, don't you? That it's best if Hisao doesn't know what's going on back here? Just us girls? "My feet are also my hands, so they're that much more important. I can't trust them to just anyone… I almost didn't even get the pedicure." Fair enough. So it's not about sensitivity after all, it's about trust.

…It took a moment for this to sink in, and I whisper, "So then does that mean that all of those times when I helped you wash your feet, your happiness wasn't because of your feet being scrubbed, but because of who was doing the scrubbing?" A nod. "R-Rin…"

"Shh. Don't say anything, Emi." Another kiss, better than the first. Rin, have you always felt this way about me? I never realized you were a lesbian…hell, I thought you might've had a crush on Hisao as well.

Wait, of course you're not a lesbian. You're Rin Tezuka, and you see things differently. To you, loving me and loving a guy are the same, aren't they? But I…

I'm not you. I love you dearly, Rin…but I can't be in love with you. But still…

…That shouldn't stop me from being with you now. You deserve it. I deserve it. We deserve it.

CCX: So…yeah. It's not easy to do a bait-and-switch on this site, but everything in the summary is true, and I even put a line from the song in there to make up for this being a songfic not named after its song. Moreover, after the third-to-last lyrical interlude, I just ended up spontaneously switching from my usual past tense to present tense and also switched all references to Rin over from third-person to second-person, and I hadn't even realized I'd been doing it until after the lyrics intruded again, at which point I had to take the effort to keep it that way instead of switching back. Not easy, because while second-person is fine for internal monologue, it just feels wrong for actions—hence "a nod" and "another kiss", actions without it being spoken who is acting. And I feel like I can justify the switch, too, because Emi's drunk and kind of confused. Her best friend just kissed her, and she feels like maybe she actually does feel something. Rin is suddenly occupying her thoughts in a way that she hadn't been before. So while we had previously been viewing the action through the filter of Emi's thoughts in general, we're now viewing it specifically through Emi's thoughts about Rin, because there are no other thoughts left at the moment. It's one of those great moments in writing when you do something and only realize after you've done it why you did it.

Katawa Shoujo ©4Leaf Studios 2012. "I Kissed a Girl" © Katy Perry 2008. More of "Love Nest" will be forthcoming once I can work out a tricky scene (which will bump it up at least one rating, and quite likely more like two), and there's also the possibility of another songfic which as per my precedent on first-person songfics needing to match their narrator (set by "Things I'll Never Say") really should belong to someone as feisty as Emi, but the best opportunity to fit it to Hisao's situation would seem to dictate that I send it over to someone far more subdued. Ja ne!