Masashi Kishimoto owns Naruto, and I claim no ownership.
Girls were to toughest creatures to please, Naruto thought moodily as he walked dejectedly away from camp, his hair and clothes singeing. The bucket he carelessly held sloshed brownish liquid over its side as he made his way through the dense forest.
Really, what was the big deal about drinking some dirty water for one night?
"Are you crazy?" Sakura had screeched when he proudly presented the water he collected. "Do you want us to die from...from...water poisoning? Who knows what's in that crap!"
"Aww, c'mon Sakura, it can't be that bad!" Naruto protested feebly, hands held up in defense. At this point Sasuke came over and peered into the bucket, his nose wrinkled in that disgusted 'I'm an Uchiha therefor everything else is dirt' expression.
"It's brown you moron," Sasuke sneered before walking casually back to the log he was sitting on. "Go find a clean river, and not a mud hole this time."
"Hey!" The blond bit back loudly. "Why the hell am I even doing the grunt work here? Princess Sasuke has only been back on Team 7 for two months!"
"What's your point?" The lone kunoichi asked impatiently. Naruto merely held up one finger importantly, as if imparting the wisest of wisdom.
"Well, his ass should be out there looking for clean water, picking up the slack of being absent for three years due to training with some questionable snake freak!" The last part he made sure to direct towards Sasuke, just so he could get the full impact of his awesome truth telling.
Sakura's eyebrows rose and Sasuke just looked kind of angry. Like, really angry. Naruto was pretty sure a muscle twitched in his temple.
"...Questionable?" The Uchiha ground out. Naruto gave a triumphant smirk. Sakura smacked her forehead, mumbling something about 'this is not ending well' and 'all I want is some fucking water' before stalking off.
"Yeah, questionable," The blonde repeated. "Everyone knows how Orochimaru loved having boys bodies the most-"
"Katon, Goukakyuu no jutsu!"
"Ack! Alright I'll get the god damned water!"
And so here Naruto found himself alone in the forest, looking for perfectly clean water, and on fire. Well, he wasn't burning anymore, but he really hoped that if he found the best kind of water that Sakura would heal him up nice and good. But right now he didn't think so. She was laughing rather vindictively when Naruto scurried off in a literal flaming panic. It almost scared him how much joy Sakura got out of things like this.
She and Sasuke should just get married right now.
Grinning at his inside joke, Naruto shook his head and continued his search for that elusive, clean river. Really, what WAS a little dirty water? It's not like it would have killed them, but they reacted like he was handing them porn... which was silly, because Naruto learned the first time that his team sans Kakashi didn't appreciate him recommending Icha Icha as fine works of art. Thinking back on it now, Naruto found that he had to take back his earlier words.
Girls plus Sasuke were the toughest things to please.
First published story. I don't have a beta at the moment, but feel free to rip this apart in a review anyway.