A/N: So, honestly, I had the idea to do Kurt's POV before Rachel's. Instead, I made this into a companion piece. So, people, here's what Kurt was thinking during the last part of "5 Times Rachel Berry Felt Worthless". I suggest you read that first … Well, I guess you don't have to, but it might help if you get confused.
Disclaimer: Still don't own Glee! Still wish I could meet Chris Colfer …
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It had been a long, tiring week at Dalton. Kurt found himself wondering if he'd made a mistake in transferring. Dalton was too strict, even with the Warblers. And worse: he had to wear a uniform. And it just did not compliment him at all.
On the other hand, Blaine was at Dalton …
Kurt continued walking down the street. No one else was around. He'd needed a break from Finn rambling on about football.
As he turned a corner, the countertenor saw a girl kneeling on the sidewalk. Kurt was about to cross the street – no need to meddle in someone else's business – when he realized he recognized the girl.
Kurt took a step closer. "Rachel?" The brunette didn't look up. Kurt, however, recognized the awful outfit that only Rachel Berry would wear. What he wondered was, why was she on the ground? Was she hurt?
He took another step forward, and his eyes landed on whatever her hands were fiddling with. He inhaled sharply at the object. Kurt blinked a couple of times, but it was still there, and Rachel was still staring at it.
Kurt's heart pounded. He saw the way Rachel held the weapon, looking at it like it was her only option. She looked to be in a trance. The boy kneeled down beside her.
He wanted to reach out and touch her, make sure he wasn't imagining things. What could have driven Rachel Berry to this point? He wanted to yell at her until she saw some sense, but worried it would only push her over the edge. But he needed to get the blade away from her.
"Rachel, honey, give me the knife," Kurt's voice shook. He wanted to cry. He was scared. Scared that one of his friends would … He couldn't even think it.
Kurt hoped that Rachel would hand over the knife, but knew it wouldn't be that simple. He saw Rachel cling onto the knife, as if it was the only real thing to her. He opened his mouth to say something, but nothing came out. He was at a loss for words.
"I'm not weak," Rachel snapped, startling Kurt. He wasn't sure if she was talking to him, or to herself.
Either way, the boy was surprised that Rachel would ever think she was weak. After all, that's why she said she wasn't, right? Something inside of her thought she was. But she had a voice rivaling his own magnificent one. She was a fellow diva. He knew not a lot of people appreciated her, but Kurt had become fast friends (kind of) with her after his transfer.
He tried to convince Rachel just how strong she was. If she didn't realize it, he'd make her. "You're not. You're stronger than this." You're stronger, he urged mentally. Don't kill yourself; you'll make it through.
"I'm not stronger than you," the girl countered.
Kurt wondered if Rachel even knew who she was talking to. This was him, a boy who had to transfer to another school because he couldn't handle being bullied.
He was pulled out of confusion – and straight into panic – when Rachel made a deep cut on her thumb. Kurt winced, but Rachel didn't seem at all in pain. Kurt wondered exactly how he was supposed to get her to listen to him. Rachel Berry didn't listen to anyone.
Seeing the thoughtful, almost dream-like expression on Rachel's face, Kurt knew that he had to draw her attention away from the knife. As long as the blade held her attention, nothing he said would register for her.
"Rach, look at me." The girl didn't move, so Kurt did it for her. His hand was gentle but firm on her chin.
When their eyes connected, Kurt almost lost his cool. Rachel's eyes were empty, hopeless. She seemed to be miles away, mentally.
"You are strong," he said sternly. He had to make her see reason. "You ignore everyone's words and keep going." He knew that last bit was desperate, but he wasn't sure what else to say.
Kurt knew he had her when he saw her eyes water. She tried to look away, but he wasn't letting her go now. He was so close to bringing her back.
"Why do you even care?" Kurt was taken aback. "I'm worthless. Nobody likes me. I want to die."
Kurt nearly started crying, but he needed to keep it together. He saw the way that Rachel was doubting herself. He didn't think she really believed her own words. She wanted him to prove her wrong.
Kurt did exactly that as he brushed a strand of hair behind her ear. "You're not worthless. You have so much going for you, Rachel. And people do like you." Kurt could see Rachel battling herself. He hoped she'd listen to him.
"Like who?"
"Like me," Kurt replied. He thought of his friend. "Like Blaine." He very nearly started naming members of the glee club, but remembered that they weren't exactly the nicest to her. Kurt flinched internally when he remembered that he was once one of those people.
He saw her hands shaking. He knew he'd gotten through to her. "Give me the knife, Rachel."
Kurt grabbed the knife and placed it out of Rachel's reach. He was relieved that he'd managed to stop her.
Kurt saw realization and horror flood into Rachel's eyes. He held her when she buried her face in his neck. He rubbed her hair gently, partly to calm her, partly to reassure himself that she wasn't dead.
"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry," Rachel sobbed.
Kurt held her tightly. As tears of relief trailed down his face, he thought, I'm sorry too.
A/N: Tell me what you think! No flames, please. I'll take advice, just don't be mean about it.