Based on an imagine from imaginexhobbit. Posting on here because it exceeds the word limit.
Imagine Fili's Reaction to You Having a Miscarriage
(AU where everyone lives after BOTFA)
...
The day you told Fili you were pregnant, he wept like a fool and kissed you before running around like a child, telling everyone. He loved to talk to your stomach, even if you didn't quite show yet. He would coo at it and kiss it, making you giggle and blush. You were slightly annoyed when he started to monitor your every move and began to dictate what you ate and drank, but you understood why and you let it slide. His happiness was your happiness and nothing could spoil it.
...
A month into the pregnancy, Fili went on a hunting trip with his brother and uncle. He gave you a kiss at the gates and told you that he would be back in a week's time and to be careful.
"I will, Fili! You worry too much," you pouted. He smiled at you and gave you another kiss. "You be careful too though...I don't need you bruised and broken when you come back." He laughed at you and stroked your cheek.
"I'll be back before you know it. Without a scratch." He leaned down and kissed your belly through your dress. You sighed in content and stroked his hair. "You watch over your mother," he whispered to the baby. You just rolled your eyes and scoffed. "And keep her out of trouble. She has a way of finding it..." You gave his cheek a sharp tap with your finger. You heard Kili snicker in the back as Fili got up and gave you one last kiss as he mounted his horse. "I love you, my darlings."
"I love you too, Fili." You waved at him as he rode his horse into the distance. The gates closed and you slowly and carefully walked back to your home to rest.
...
The day before Fili's return, you decided to take a walk through the mountain with Ori. It was about the safest thing you could think of; a simple walk down the halls wouldn't be too strenuous, a child could do it without breaking a sweat. You were walking down a flight of stairs, talking and laughing with the younger dwarf, when you tripped on an uneven stone. You tumbled down the stairs and you landed on your stomach. Ori rushed down to you and gingerly cradled you in his arms. You moaned and cried out in pain as he did his best to run with you in his arms as quickly as possible to the healers.
...
Fili rode back through the gates, the sun shining and a huge smile plastered on his face. He couldn't wait to see you and continue to spoil and dote on you again. Kili endlessly teased his brother about how he spoiled you rotten and Thorin just quietly chuckled to himself as his nephews continued their playful bickering.
"Do you think she got bigger? Would she show by now?" Fili looked over his shoulder to his uncle, hoping he would answer the question.
"Maybe," Thorin shrugged. "Probably just a noticeable by now; a bump probably." Fili smiled wide and shook with excitement. His smile faded as Ori ran in front of the hunting party, waving his arms like a madman, and spooking the horses. "Ori!" Thorin yelled, trying to calm his horse. "What is the meaning of this?" Ori ignored Thorin completely and turned his attention to Fili.
"Fili!" Ori started, breathlessly. Fili's body tensed. He didn't know what news Ori had brought, but he knew it wasn't good. "Fili…the baby…" Fili grew pale and tightly gripped the reins of his horse.
"What about the baby?" Ori didn't answer and Fili grew impatient. "ORI," he snapped. The younger dwarf flinched and looked up at the prince. Fili's fists were shaking and his face was pale. "What happened to my child? My wife?" Ori looked away from the prince and shook his head. "No…"
"I'm sorry, Fili," Ori whimpered, tears on his face.
"No…I don't believe it…I don't…" Fili galloped away on his horse, to the infirmary. He was terrified and heart broken. Tears spilled from his eyes as he neared the entrance. He dismounted his horse and ran inside. He looked in each and every room, refusing to speak to anyone until he found you. It took him a while but he finally found the right room. Tears were in his eyes once more when he saw you in bed, crying and surrounded by various healers. His eyes landed on your stomach. There was no bump…there was nothing. "No…" You heard Fili's voice and looked up at him.
"Fili…Fili I'm so sorry…" You buried your face in your hands and sobbed harder. Fili slowly made his way to your bed and softly stroked your cheek. You reached out and clung to him, sobbing into his shoulder. He wrapped his arms around you tightly and rubbed your back gently. "I'm so sorry…you told me to be careful and I…I…"
"Shh…it's not your fault…it's not your fault." Fili tried to comfort you but you only continued to cry into his shoulder. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Kili, Ori, and Thorin appear in the doorway. The healers bowed to their king and exited the room as he excused them. They all remained silent, your muffled sobs filling the room. Ori stood there fidgeting and playing with his fingers while Kili and Thorin stood over Fili, placing a hand on his shoulder to comfort him. Ori called out your name, breaking the silence and calling your attention.
"It's my fault…it's my fault. I was supposed to be watching you…" Ori looked like he was about to collapse on the floor.
"Oh, Ori…sweetheart," your voice cracked as you spoke to him. "It's not your fault. It's not…I made you come with me. I didn't look where I was going…it's not your fault." You buried your face in Fili's shoulder again and cried. He kissed the top of your head and started stroking your hair. "I want to leave. I want to go home…and be alone." You looked up at Fili, your eyes red and puffy from your tears, and pleaded with him. "Please, Fili. I want to go home."
"Alright darling," he whispered, giving you a kiss on the cheek. "Alright. Let's go home."
...
Fili carried you all the way home and you had him lay you in bed, you didn't want to move. You didn't want to do anything really except cry. You felt Fili get into bed with you and snaked his arms around your waist, hugging you to him. Your eyes welled up with tears again and you let out a small sob.
"Fili, I'm so sorry." You sniffled as he softly kissed the top of your head. "I'm so sorry…"
"Shhhh…my sweet. Don't speak anymore…" He felt himself about to cry and he pressed his face into your hair. "It's not your fault…"
"…I hate myself." You felt Fili tense up behind you and squeeze you tighter before letting you go and moving himself off the bed and onto the other side to be face to face with you.
"Don't say that," he said firmly. He stroked your cheek as more tears rolled down your face. "Don't you ever say that. It wasn't your fault." Your lips trembled as you sobbed harder and rolled onto your other side, desperate to get away from his gaze. He climbed back into bed with you and held you as you trembled.
"I think…I want to sleep, Fili. I want to be by myself." Fili hesitated, not sure if he should leave you alone like this.
"Are you sure, love?" You silently nodded and let out another small sob. "Okay, my sweetling," he said as he moved your hair and kissed the back of your neck. He got up from the bed and walked to the door, giving you a last glance before leaving you for the night. "I'll be in the study if you need me. Okay, love? I'll be right in the next room." You gave him a small nod and he quietly shut the door. He slowly walked to his study and sat in his chair, desperately trying to hold himself together. But his control broke as he heard your muffled cries through the walls and he violently sobbed into his hands.
...
The next morning, Fili woke up with his eyes puffy and face sticky from his tears. He slowly crept out of the study and poked his head into the bedroom and spotted you curled into a ball, sleeping soundly. He quietly walked towards you and knelt down to look at your face; it was all red and puffy from your sobbing and raw from where you tried to rub the tears away. He gently kissed you on the cheek and tucked a lock of hair behind your ear as you slowly started to wake up.
"Mmm…Fili…?" He smirked at your groggy voice and gave you a peck on the lips.
"Good morning, my darling," he gently whispered to you as he stroked your hair. "I was going to go to the kitchens and get us some breakfast. I thought we could just sit in bed and eat. What would you like? I think that they made that porridge you like so much. Or maybe some fruit? I know that you can't resist the strawberries that Bilbo sends," he said with a smile. You gave him a small, pitiful laugh as he rose to his feet and you sat yourself up. "So what shall it be, my love? Maybe I should just get a bit of everything…?"
"Um…Fili…I don't think I'm very hungry right now." Fili cocked his head in confusion; when did you ever turn down strawberries from the Shire?
"Are you sure, love?" You nodded you head silently at him and he let out a small sigh. "Okay my sweet. But if you get hungry or need anything else, just tell me okay? I'll get you whatever you want." He kissed your lips softly as he left the room and went to the kitchens. Letting you miss one meal wouldn't hurt…but then you passed another…and another…and another until finally after missing three days worth of meals and your favorite foods, Fili had enough. He barged into the bedroom while you slept, waking you up with a shock. He had a tray of vegetables and a bit of meat for you and he set it down on your nightstand.
"Fili…I'm really not hungry-"
"You are going to eat," he said sternly, cutting you off. "You haven't eaten anything for days now. It's not healthy." The both of you stared at each other for quite a while. He waited for you to pick up the fork yourself but when you didn't and laid back down under the covers, he grew impatient. He flung the covers off of you, making you squeak from the sudden cold air. He tried to sit you up, but you refused to move. He ended up pinning you down, with your hands over head and him straddling you. You kicked and struggled to get away from your husband but he was too heavy for you to move him.
"Fili! Get off of me!"
"Not until you agree to eat! You'll waste away if you don't!" You shut your eyes as he yelled at you and shook your head. "Just one bite…just one. Please…for me." His voice was gentle this time and you opened your eyes and saw that he was crying. His tears dripped onto your face as he moved his hands from your wrists to your cheeks, wiping the tears away gently. "My love, I know you're sad. I am too. We lost something very precious to us and it hurts, I know. But we can always try again."
"Again? You want to try again?" Your voice shook as you cried and Fili placed a gentle kiss on your cheek.
"Of course I do…we can try for as many as you want." You giggled a little at his statement and he kissed you again. "But that won't happen unless you're healthy." He stares into your eyes and stroked your hair before kissing your forehead. "So please, eat. You don't have to eat a lot right now, just a few bites, but please just eat something." He climbs off of you and kneels by the bed as you slowly sit yourself up. He smiles at you and kisses your cheek before taking the tray and laying it in your lap. "That's my girl."