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Chapter 1: Love's Torments
Love is a sweet tyranny, because the lover endureth his torments willingly. Proverb
"So tell me, what's become of my ship?"
No one moved. The words were not quite absorbed by the crew, as their ears had been rendered useless at the sight of Barbossa, a man they all thought to be dead. The only sounds were Barbossa crunching his apple and Jack the monkey squealing.
"I trus' you be rememberin' Cap'n Barbossa," Tia Dalma started. She seemed to think this was enough of an invitation for someone to speak, or even move. It wasn't.
Of course we remember, Will thought angrily. The last memory he had of Barbossa surfaced in his mind; he had watched in terror as Barbossa pulled out a gun and directed it at Elizabeth.
Elizabeth. Her name plucked a nerve, and his heart seemed to droop a little lower. She must be furious to see him again, after the nightmare he put her through on the Pearl, he sighed, softening a bit out of worry. Glancing around, he sought her face.
She stood slightly behind him, mouth open in disbelief and horror. Will noticed tears had left paths through the dirt on her face. Tears for Jack, he thought furiously. Yet, even though every fiber of his being resisted, he still loved her. His conscious argued that the right thing to do was to let her go, but his poor heart longed to hold her in his arms. Struggling with himself, he turned back to the situation at hand.
"He's here to be doin' me a… favor, of sorts," Tia Dalma continued, now becoming agitated due to the unresponsive crew. "It's not like before. He's going wit' you and there'll be no arguin' wit' dat. You say yourselves dat you need a Cap'n, and 'ere he is!"
Pintel and Ragetti were the first to speak up. "Cap'n," they stuttered. Barbossa nodded formidably to the past members of his crew.
Pausing slightly, as if still unsure about the situation, Gibbs asked, "To… to get Jack back, then?"
"Aye, master Gibbs. I know ye're loyalty still lie wit' him, but ye'll be servin' me for a time now." Barbossa replied. Gibbs had been Jack's first mate. Gibbs nodded, but had no answer.
Barbossa's yellow eyes swept the room again, finally coming to rest on Elizabeth. Upon seeing her, he took a step forward. "Ah, Miss Swann- or is it Turner now?" he mused, glancing at Will.
"It's still Swann," Elizabeth said, standing firm and meeting Barbossa's glare steadily. Her hatred for the man was obvious. The other men cowered a bit; they knew Elizabeth's true anger was fierce. Only Will, who knew Elizabeth better than anyone, detected a glimmer of fear from behind her tough mask.
"Well, I can't say I'm quite pleased to see you again, after our last little encounter," Barbossa leered, taking another step forward. A year ago, Elizabeth would have retreated under such a sinister glare, but she stood her ground. Will, however, was pushed over the edge.
"Barbossa," Will growled threateningly, taking a step between Barbossa and Elizabeth.
"So here's the young master Turner. Again, can't say I'm pleased to see you, after that fiasco at Isla de Muerta," he said, but took a step back nonetheless.
"Enough of 'dis," Tia Dalma said, intervening. "We'll be needin' to talk 'bout you're journey."
The crew went to find their seats again. Will turned, wanting to say something comforting to Elizabeth, but he found she was already sitting, tear-filled eyes gazing at the floor. She seemed to be making a point not to talk to Will, or even look at him. It broke his heart.
She really does love Jack. The thought made Will want to run out of the hut and be sick. He needed to leave, he needed air, he needed space. He felt like screaming with anguish. His tormented heart begged for release, but he couldn't let go. Not Elizabeth. Not his Elizabeth.
He sat, attempting to get his emotions under control. He didn't meet her eyes again that evening.
They talked for hours. About secret charts and dangerous travels, things Will would have normally been enthusiastically engaged in. But tonight, he sat silently, listening to the impossible journey that was being laid out for the crew, all to rescue the man who ruined his life.
When it seemed to be near midnight, Tia Dalma ended the discussion. "Ye'll stay here for the night," she said. "Go to 'de back if you wish to wash," she said, showing them a door through a beaded curtain. "'Der is a clean spring 'der you will find to your likin'."
All of the men stood and headed out the back. Even though pirates weren't known for their hygiene, they were ready to rid themselves of the reeking odor of the kraken. Elizabeth did not move to follow them, even though Will knew that what she probably wanted most right then was to wash. Well, what she wants most besides Jack, he thought bitterly, his heart breaking for the millionth time that night.
He was partially right about Elizabeth wanting desperately to wash, but it wasn't dirt that Elizabeth wanted to cleanse herself of.
It was guilt.
She was drowning in it. She thought it wouldn't be long until it suffocated her, its immense darkness coming to claim her as its own. She killed him. She killed Jack Sparrow. She killed him. She was a murderer.
And it didn't matter that he betrayed Will and then took advantage of her. It didn't matter that they all would have died on the way to shore if she hadn't done it. It didn't matter that she had ended one life to save several others, including the man she loved. It just didn't matter. She condemned Jack Sparrow to death and then looked at him straight in the face. The last words he would hear was that she wasn't sorry.
That wasn't even the worst of it. She had kissed him. She took advantage of his lust and used it as a distraction, and the man she loved had seen. She knew the second she stepped into the longboat that he had witnessed the event. He looked like he had been slapped in the face, his eyes accusing and cold.
It wasn't a true betrayal in Elizabeth's mind; she didn't love Jack. The kiss had been an easy option to commit her crime. But Will won't see it that way, will he? The cruel voice in the back of her head cackled. Not only have you betrayed him, but you killed his friend. What will he think of you after he finds that out, hmm?
It was too much for Elizabeth. She bolted out the front door and emptied the contents of her stomach into the river below. She heaved once more, praying that the spring was far enough away that the men wouldn't hear her. She wiped her mouth and leaned against the railing, still trembling with shame and remorse.
"Come back in, child." Tia Dalma's voice startled her and she spun around, nearly losing her balance in the process. She obeyed weakly.
"Here," Tia Dalma said, handing her a mug full of a clear liquid. "This will help mend the pains in your body."
Even though she didn't deserve to be free of her pain, Elizabeth drank and instantly felt relief flow through her body. A dull fatigue replaced the aches.
"But there is nothing I can do to heal the pain in your heart," Tia Dalma finished, her voice barely a whisper. "Time will see to that, child. Don't you worry."
Elizabeth didn't ask how Tia knew of the source of her grief. She simply nodded.
Tia sighed. "Let me show you to where you will be stayin'."
Tia led Elizabeth up a flight of stairs. They arrived on a small landing, with four doors leading off. Tia showed her into the last room on the left.
Luckily, this room was free of hanging jars full of disgusting things. Four candles illuminated it, casting the room into a yellow haze. It had two small beds, one on the left and right of the doorway. The beds had blankets and sheets placed loosely on top. There was a window in the back that looked out into the green jungle. A small nightstand with a magnificent shell on it sat proudly at the end of the room next to a cracked mirror.
"Wait here," Tia ordered. Elizabeth sat down wearily on the bed.
Tia returned in a moment with a basin of water and a cloth. She placed them on the nightstand and left again. Elizabeth moved toward the nightstand and wet the cloth. She began to slowly remove the layer of grime from her face. Tia returned once more with a plain off-white, flowing nightdress and a shirt with breeches for the next day. Elizabeth thanked her sincerely. Tia smiled in return and left the room, shutting the door soundlessly behind her.
Will removed his shirt and boots, lowering his body tentatively into the spring. The water was refreshing cool and thankfully not as murky as the water of the river. He groaned in pain as the water washed over his scars on his back, souvenirs from his time on the Flying Dutchman. Will gritted his teeth against the dull throbbing from his back and plunged his head underwater. He scrubbed the dirt from his hair and body, feeling as if he was washing off a whole layer of his skin. Emerging again, he gasped for breath.
Leaning back against the side of the spring, Will closed his eyes for a moment, taking in the sweet, natural smell of the jungle. How peaceful it seemed, the crickets chirping and fireflies gleaming. The calm that hung around him was in sharp contrast to his inner turmoil, however. He made the mistake of letting his mind roam, and paid the price when the image of Elizabeth passionately embracing Jack floated to the front of his mind.
Disgusted, he flung himself out of the soothing water. How could she do this to me? he thought painfully, holding his head limply in his hands. His scars reopened, but his physical pain seemed second-rate to his emotional suffering. He was so immersed in his own thoughts that he didn't hear the footsteps behind him.
"Here," Tia Dalma said, holding out a clean shirt and pants for him to take. He stood wordlessly and took them from her.
"And 'dis too." Tia Dalma held out a small tin of what looked like a balm made with aloe and sea weed, undoubtedly for the wounds in his back. "This will help mend the pains in your body, but there is nothing I can do to heal the pain in your heart," she stated simply, echoing the words she had used with Elizabeth.
Like Elizabeth, he didn't question how she knew of the situation. "Yes," he whispered, his tone flat and defeated, "I doubt those will ever heal."
"I wouldn't be so sure," Tia replied, the sides of her lips curling slightly. He looked away.
"Come."
Her whole body shaking with sorrow, Elizabeth finished washing and changed into her nightgown. The light, clean fabric felt cool against her feverish skin. It took all of her strength to remain standing.
Noiselessly, she tiptoed over to her bed and laid her head on the pillow. She slipped underneath the sheet and closed her eyes. Ever since Will had become a part of her life, her reality had seemed better than her dreams. For the first time in a year, however, that was not the case.
Holding back a dry sob, she reluctantly slipped into a fitful slumber.
The other men of the crew had already returned to the hut and were somberly refilling their glasses when Will and Tia entered. Barbossa was nowhere to be seen.
Tia gestured up the stairs. "One of 'de rooms on 'de lef' will do," she told Will.
He nodded again, his grief too enormous for words. He trudged up the stairs. It seemed the despair in his heart affected had affected him physically as well: every sting in his soul added another weight on his back.
He stood on the landing for a moment, choosing which room to enter. Suddenly, he heard a female voice shriek from the farthest door on the left. Recognizing the voice instantly, his stomach dropped. Heart racing, he covered the distance between the stairs and Elizabeth's room in one huge stride, grabbed the handle frantically and burst through the door.
It took him a moment to adjust to the dim light of the room. When he had, his eyes came to rest on Elizabeth. She was tossing and turning in her sleep, cowering away from invisible torturers. It was obvious she was having a nightmare. Her whole body was covered in sweat, all of the color seemed to have drained from her face. Her constant thrashing caused her hair to lay wildly around her.
Instinctively, Will ran to her and sat on the edge of her bed. "Elizabeth," he whispered soothingly, "Elizabeth, it's alright." He grasped her arms ever so gently to prevent her from pulling away from him.
She cried out again, tears silently rolling down her face. "No please, I love you!" she sobbed. Will's heart stopped. Of course, she was dreaming about him. It tortured Will to see her in such agony, and he silently vowed that if it made Elizabeth happy, he would do anything to bring Jack back.
"Elizabeth, it's alright. We'll get him back, I promise. Everything is going to be fine. I'm here, Elizabeth, I'm here," he murmured.
She didn't yell out again, but her tiny body continued to shake with suppressed sobs. Her eyes were still firmly shut; Will could sense that she hadn't calmed down completely. Placing his arms around her back, he lifted the young woman to his chest and held her close, burying his face in her shoulder. She drew rattling breaths as he rubbed her back and stroked her hair.
He held her small frame protectively for several long moments, content to have her in his arms again. She was more vulnerable than he had ever seen her. Finally, Elizabeth's breathing returned to normal and her soft form slumped against Will, signaling him that she had fallen into a dreamless sleep. He laid her back down on the bed gently, brushing her hair away from her face. He leaned over to kiss her forehead before he stood up, whispering, "I love you," in her ear.
Will stood there for a few minutes. Once Elizabeth was sound asleep again, the emotions of the day came flooding back to him. She might not love me, Will thought, but I still love her. And it was true: he loved her more than life itself. And I always will, he thought.
A/N: Well, what did you think? Let me know in a review. I'd love to hear about anything you liked or disliked.
To give credit where credit is due: the title of this story, "Time is Eternity" comes from a saying by Henry Van Dyke, which I will probably use to begin one of the later chapters ...
This chapter ended up being really long (in my humble opinion :) The next chapter isn't as long. It will start in Elizabeth's perspective, seeing as we got a lot of Will in this chapter.
Now look at that little blue button right down there next to the "Sumbit Review"... found it? Its feeling very lonely today... go ahead and give it a click ;)