Pom Squad

On a Friday after school, the gang can be found down at the park at one of the basketball courts. Tino, Carver, and Tish are leaning against the fence of the enclosure watching Lor and Laird frantically battle it out in a heated game of one-on-one. There is a small crowd of other kids watching along with them. Tino turns to us as the world goes gray. "Hola, it's Tino. Check this out. Ever since they announced that Bahia Bay and Campo Fields Middle Schools will be competing against each other in the Regional Junior Basketball Championships this Sunday, Lor and Laird have been butting heads all week." His monologue is interrupted as the ball bounces off the fence where he's standing, causing him to jump back and yelp. "um… I meant to do that. Anyways, this game is almost over now because it's first to 20 point wins and- GO LOR!" He shouts as the world returns to normal.

Inside the court, Laird has the ball and is dribbling down the court as Lor snakes around him and steals the ball. Laird gets his bearings straight and blocks Lor's shot at the net. Hesitantly, Lor fakes right, fakes left, fakes faking right then spins around him and sinks the shot. Her friends cheer and Tish flicks over a tag on the wooden score board. "That's 19 to 19," she announces, "The next basket wins!"

"You hear that Laird?" Lor grins between heavy breathes, "One more basket and I win. Just like I'll win this Sunday."

Laird laughs though he is equally out of breathe, "Huh, if you're so sure of yourself, why don't we make this last basket a little more interesting." He emphasizes by tossing the ball at Lor.

"And what did you have in mind, Rich Boy?" She shoots the ball back to him.

"A bet." He begins spinning the ball on his finger. "If by stroke of luck, you win. I'll… I'll play as your school's crummy mascot on Sunday instead of playing in the game."

This resulted in the entire crowd gasping and whispering. Tino turns to us again "Whoa! Did you hear that? Laird is like Campo Field's star basketball player. If he's sitting on the side lines with a giant foam possum suit on, then the rest of his team will be easy pickings!"

Lor walks up and snatches the ball from Laird's finger tip "And if the laws of physics come crashing down and you win, then what? Do I have to wear your school's mascot costume?"

"No," Laird grins, "You'll get to be part of the cheerleading squad."

This causes the crowd to really start clamoring. Lor looks around, then at her friends. Tish is shaking her head mouthing the words "no, no, no."

She ignores Tish's pessimism and turns back to Laird. "You're on. I am so going to enjoy seeing you do the Possum Dance." She finishes by slamming the ball into Laird's chest.

The game is back on. Laird has the ball and dribbles it idly as Lor paces in front of him, arms wide, trying to block his shot. He thinks he sees an opening and shoots the ball, Lor manages to palm it. She spins around to take the shot but it bounces off the rim. They both run after the ball and Laird gets it first. Lor skillfully grabs the ball from him in mid-dribble, circles around him, and goes for the basket. With Laird eating her dust, this looks like an easy shot so Lor steps up to sink the winning basket but she trips over her shoe laces. She stumbles to the ground as the ball slips from her hands and rebounds off the post. Laird happily grabs the ball as it comes at him and sinks the basket. The crowd is divided between cheering and moaning.

"Ah ha, Oh yeah!" Laird mocks, "You know what this means McQuarrie, it'll be nothing but pom-poms and frilly skirts for you while my school creams your school in the big game this Sunday!"

"Foul, man! Total Foul! You all saw it, he tripped me!" Lor looks around for someone to take her side but no one comes to her defense.

Her friends enter the court and walk up to her "I'm sorry Lor, but Laird was no where near you when you fell," Tish explains at great sympathy.

"Yeah, you tripped over your own shoe laces. I should know, I was paying special attention," Carver adds.

"You know, you'd be perfect on the panel of judges for Tap Dancing Idol or something," Tino remarks.

"It's on my list of shoe related ambitions."

"Gee, thanks for sticking up for me guys," Lor scoffs, "Come on. Let's just get out of here before I end up challenging Laird to a bare-fisted boxing match."

The gang establish themselves at the ever changing pizza place. This time the all too familiar crane is lowering a sign onto the building that reads "Pizza Noir".

Within the establishment, everything is in gray tones, save for the customers. The Pizza Guy approaches the table dressed in a trench coat and hat not unlike Humphrey Bogart. In keeping with the theme, he begins narrating everything that happens. "I approach the table, I see the same four kids that I see almost every weekend. Gut instinct told me that they wanted a large pizza with pepperoni and extra cheese. I look at them looking at me. Perhaps I said something to strike a cord, but I saw no argument in their choice of foods. Perhaps… they were taken off by the way that I keep narrating my inner thoughts. The crazy blonde girl sneers at me, Today she looks even crazier than usual. She grips a fork and begins making stabbing motions all awhile grinning at me, baring her teeth like a hungry dog. I could tell this was going to get messy if I didn't shut my trap soon…" Lor thrusts the fork into the table and her eye begins twitching all crazy like at the Pizza guy. "… I'll shut up now."

The Pizza Guy begins to walk away casually but then starts sprinting to get away from Lor as quickly as possible. Tish watches him scamper off into the kitchen, then turns her attention to Lor, whom is grumbling to herself. "You shouldn't misplace your aggression like that Lor. It's your own fault for taking that bet in the first place."

"I suppose this is where you tell me 'I told you so'" Lor sneers.

"Well I did try to warn you. But you've made your bed and now you've got to lie in it."

"Yeah Lor," Carver comments, "It's not like you can back out of this, there were witnesses there and everything."

"Sure I can, Laird isn't the boss of me."

"But you lost a bet! If you go back on it you'll be breaking one of the sacred rules of middle school!"

"And organized gambling." Tino smirks.

Carver shakes his head. "No, no, no. There are certain unwritten rules one must adhere to in order to maintain balance to the world. One of which is no going back on bets. Breaking this rule would cause the whole of society to crumble leaving in the wake anarchy man! Pure Anarchy! And then World War three man. And aliens would come and zap the lot of us before we got too powerful! And those of us lucky enough to survive will have to live underground with the killer rats!"

Tish stops him before he could go any further. "Okay, you might want to mellow out there Nostradamus."

"Did you just call me a hideously ugly vampire?" Carver asks, thinking he's been insulted.

"A vampire? No Carver, that's Nosferatu." Tish educates.

Carver stares at her blank faced. "… I don't get it."

"Alright, I get it! I lost the bet and now I've got to live with it," Lor interrupts, "But I'm still super ticked off about it. I mean, while the rest of my team is playing the big game, I'll be stuck flailing stupid little pom-poms in the air and yelling 'Go team, yay!'" She finishes the last part in a very mockingly cheerful demeanor.

The Pizza Guy returns with their food. Oddly enough, the pizza itself is in gray tones, just like the rest of their surroundings. Tish holds a slice aloft in her hand and examines it with a wrinkled nose. "Okay, I would like to know what they put in the pizza to make it black and white."

"Tofu," Tino answers knowingly examining a slice himself, "I'd recognize it in any form." He then puts the slice back in disgust.

"Riiiiiight. So what are you going to do now Lor?" Tish questions.

Lor sighs, "I guess I'll go in tomorrow morning and try out for cheerleading… there's a good chance they won't let me in if I really stink at it right?"

"Um… Does our school even have a cheerleading squad?" Tino asks.

"Heck if I know. Bunch of skinny, puffy, little air-headed valley girls wouldn't know sportsmanship if came up and beat them with their own pom-poms. I bet you Kristi and Kandi are cheerleaders and they'll try to convert me again."

Skipping right to Saturday morning. Lor stands inside the school gym staring at the group of girls whom will be her companions for the weekend. "Um… You're the cheerleading squad?" she asks with her head cocked, looking at all of them like this is a big joke. The rag-tag group that huddled together for a cheerleading meet consisted of girls that Lor never bothered to get to know personally but she heard their names mentioned once or twice. Like Hunter: the brunette girl who wears the red jacket, Summer: that blonde girl with the two braids, and Nona: that really tall girl that had a crush on Carver. All of which are lead by the head cheerleader to this pathetic collection, Dot.

Dot steps up to greet her, "Hi Lor, I'm so glad you decided to join our little cheerleading squad."

"Yeah, well, I guess you want me to audition first before you let me in right?" Lor says as she removes her jacket, confident by the fact that she doesn't even know what to do will prevent her from being accepted.

"Oh no, that won't be necessary. Actually, you're timing is perfect. You see, we were supposed to cheer at the big game this Sunday. But one of our team members suffered an accident during practice the other day and unless we could find someone to replace her, We wouldn't be able to do our routine."

"Gee, that's too bad," Lor says with bluntly fake sympathy, "So who's this girl you're expecting me to replace anyways?"

"Chloe Montez," Dot answers with a sigh.

Lor places a hand on her hip and lets out a slight laugh. "You're kidding me! What did she do this time?"

"We were doing the pyramid routine," Nona informs.

"And she fell off the top," Hunter Continues, "Landing on the gymnastic springboard."

"She then bounced right into a cart full of basketballs, which then wheeled through those doors right there where she collided with the marching band which was passing outside," Summer adds.

"And then what?" Lor questions.

"She… she got her head stuck in a tuba." Dot finishes.

"What? Again?" Lor asks in astonishment.

"Yes, again," they all nod.

"Aw dude, and her ears just got back to their normal shape after the last time too." Lor looks at the hopeful crowd. "… you can stop looking at me like that. You all know that I lost that bet to Laird so I have no choice but to join."

Dot clasps Lor by the hands and begins to jump enthusiastically. "that is so great! Welcome aboard Lor! Come on, we should start practicing our routine. Don't worry, it's not too hard. Oh, but wait, we have to get you a cheerleading uniform first. You're about Chloe's size right? Hang on."

As Dot trots off to the locker room, Lor turns to us as the world goes gray. "Ok, I know what you're thinking. First I loose that bet to Laird and now one of the more accident prone cheerleaders is out of commission. Seems a little too convenient if you ask me… well, not really, Chloe has some sort of humiliating mishap almost every week. Ok, totally got to look on the bright side here. For one thing, these girls are not the bubbly air-heads I was expecting. Well, maybe Dot, but not all of them. And it's not like I'm going to show up at the game on Sunday wearing some stupid mascot costume or anything right?"

Dot returns almost as quickly as she had left presenting Lor with her cheerleader uniform. "Here, I think this will look so cute on you," She flatters as she holds the outfit up to Lor to picture her wearing it. It's a form fitting outfit in a blue and yellow motif with bare arms and a short frilly skirt.

Lor takes the outfit and examines it front to back "Um, where's the rest of it?"

Later that day, after Lor's crash course in cheerleading, the gang meets at her house. Tino, Carver, and Tish wait in the hall outside Lor's room while she tries on her cheerleading uniform. "Stuck in a tuba?" Tino asks.

"Yep," Lor answers from behind the door.

"Again?" Carver questions.

"Again," Lor confirms.

"It would seem that the fates are conspiring against you," Tish comments. "So, why do you want to show us your cheerleader uniform?"

Lor grudgingly opens the door to present herself in full uniform, pom-poms in hand. "I wanted to get your reaction before going out in public in this thing."

Tish and Tino stare cock-eyed at possibly the most feminine thing that Lor has ever worn. Carver on the other hand, takes one look at her then starts looking around the floor. "Great, I knew it," Lor sighs, "This thing is so ridicules that the fashion know-it-all can't even bare to look at it."

"No, it's not that," Carver defends, "I was just checking to see if the locusts have shown up yet."

"Locusts?" Tish asks with a raised eyebrow.

"Yeah, I'm pretty sure that's the next sign of the Apocalypse right after Lor wearing a skirt," He jests.

"Why you little!" Lor reaches over and smacks Carver across the arm. He flinches a little then notices that he barely felt the impact.

"Man, those pom-poms are like ultra soft boxing gloves. I barely felt that. Come on, do it again."

"You know, she can still kick you, Iron Man." Tino reminds him.

"Naw, she wouldn't do-" He is cut off as Lor gives him a swift kick in the shin, "OUCH! Oh, oh, oh! Alright, alright, I'm sorry, mercy!"

"You're lucky I didn't aim a little higher! Now come on, I need you guys to help me study this routine."

They move to her backyard to give her more room to practice. Tish paces back and forth holding a piece of paper which details the routine for Lor. "Ok, this seems simple enough, show me what you've already learned at practice," She instructs.

"Okay," Lor confirms hesitantly, She then begins dancing around and flailing her pom-poms in the air with all the fineness and enthusiasm of an airline signal operator. "give me a B! Give me an A! Give me an H-I- (um)A- BAY! Let's GO! Bahia Bay Middle School! Possums, Possums, gooooooooo POSSUMS!"

"Umm, Okay. Could you try it with just a little more enthusiasm?" Tish requests.

"Well it's hard okay! I just can't get excited about this!" Lor pouts.

"If you'll allow me to offer some advice," Carver says as he steps forward, "Try and think of cheerleading as like a sport. And you're competition is the other team's cheerleaders."

"Hmm, nope. Still doesn't do it for me."

"Okay, fine, picture the competition as Laird. And the more you get the crowd riled up, the more pain you cause him."

"Wow," Lor says, "Now that I can totally get into! I am so ready to cheer Laird into oblivion!"

Just then Lor's brothers pile into the backyard. "Dog pile on Lor!" One of her older brothers scream. Lor and the gang shield their faces for the incoming doom, but all of Lor's brothers stop dead in their tracks.

"She- she's wearing a skirt man! What do we do?" One of them yelps.

"I don't know man! It's happening again! Make it stop, make it stop!" Another yells in torment.

"Wait! I have an idea," the one in the referee shirt speaks up, "Let's just walk away and pretend that none of this ever happened." They all look at each other then file out of the backyard in a conversely organized manner.

Lor looks on in astonishment. "Huh, maybe this whole cheerleading thing isn't so bad after all."

On Sunday, a few minutes before the big game, Lor is waiting on the side lines with the rest of the cheerleading squad making sure that hey have everything together before they have to go on. Her friends come to see her off. "Are you ready to go on Lor?" Tino concerns, "Now I know that you really don't want to do this but…"

Lor cuts him off, "Are you kidding me? This is so cool! Cheerleading is, like, so much fun!"

"Did you just say 'like'… I mean as a misplaced idiom?" Tish asks.

"Totally!" Lor says with a giggle.

"And where did you pick up this language, young lady?" Carver scolds.

To answer his query, Dot comes up from behind them, "Hey Lor! Are you, like, totally ready to cheer the team on?"

"You bet, Dotty!" She then turns to her friends, "Okay, I've got to get ready so you guys go sit in the stands and make sure you watch me! Okay, bye." She says before trotting off, leaving her friends dumbfounded.

"Do you know what this means?" Tish asks Tino and Carver.

"Um… Lor's evil half step twin sister in law has come and replaced her?" Tino tries to answer.

"No, it means that Lor has gone native. She likes being a cheerleader. She might even give up sports to be one! If we don't do something about it, we might lose Lor forever!" Tish concerns.

"I agree. We have to do something but we can't right now. She has to go on as cheerleader Lor." Carver says, "We'll have to deprogram her after the game."

"Fine, but I have just one question for you Tino."

"Shoot."

"How exactly can someone have an evil half step twin sister in law?"

"I don't know. I heard it on Teen Canyon once."

They take their seats as the announcer comes on over the speaker. In all cruel acts of fate, the guest announcer is none other than Jan 'the Man' Testaverde. "Hey, Yowza! Welcome to the totally fabulous first round of competition for the Regional Junior Basketball Championships. Now please put your hands together for the home team: the Bahia Bay Middle School POSSUMS!" And with that the Possum team charges out of their locker room followed by the mascot. Lor and the other girls cheer them on with the routine that she was practicing in the backyard yesterday. The crowd adds to the excitement with rhythmic stomping and clapping.

"Ha-ha, alright, alright, save it for the game. Now welcome onto the court, the visiting team and rival school: the Campo Fields Middle School MAD DOGS! Hey Yowza!" The opposing team charges out of their locker room. Followed by their own mascot and cheered on by their own cheerleaders. Being a visiting team, they didn't get as much of an excited response from the crowd.

As Laid emerges with his team, he scans the line up of the opposition. Slightly surprised, he bolts his head over to the Possum's cheerleaders to find Lor standing among them. Lor catches Laird looking at her. She returns a sour look and then turns away from him to cheer on her team. Laird only grins evilly to himself.

"Game on!" The referee blows his whistle and throws the ball skyward in the middle of the court. A Possum swipes the ball as it plummets back down. Dribbling a wide quarter circle around the opposition, he passes it to a teammate signaling him across the court. That Possum closes distance as best he can between him and the net. He stops short when the opposition closes in on him. Hesitantly looking around, he hears one of his teammates call his name. He tosses the ball to his teammate whom catches it as he sprints by. With the bulk of the Mad Dog's attention on the former possessor of the ball, he has a clear shot and goes for a three point basket. The ball bounces along the rim but gets knocked out by a Mad Dog. The ball bounces freely down the court until it is snatched up by a fellow teammate whom briskly passes it to an awaiting teammate a little more than half way down the court. He easily lays up and sinks a two-point basket.

The buzzer sounds and the scoreboard lights up. This paces continues back-and-forth, the score is really leaning in the Mad Dog's favor after the first two periods. After the Possum's cheerleader's halftime routine (the pyramid which got the better of Chloe. Though Lor had no problem with it, anything requiring strength and balance Lor can easily manage.) Laird walked right up to her. Putting his hands on his hips, he shakes his head at her "Wow, I can't believe what I'm seeing." He smirks.

"What are you talking about? You were the one who set the bet!"

"Yeah, but I can't believe you actually took it seriously. I was just trying to throw you off your game, but this is all too good." He smirks, feeling very proud of himself.

"… Wwwwwhat!" Lor sneers.

"Oh this is just too perfect. You might as well have just handed the championship right over to us."

"I lost the bet! If you had lost it I would fully expect you to hold up your half of it!" She growls, baring her teeth.

"Ha-ha, Yeah right! Like I would sit out on the big game because of some stupid little bet!"

Lor begins to wrench her fist.

"Well, I've got to get back to playing basketball, you go ahead and dance around. Feel free to cheer for me too, we all know that I'm going to win!" He laughs as he walks away and high-fives a few of his teammates.

Hunter comes up to Lor, "Um, Lor… a-are you okay?"

"I'm FINE! Just PEACHY!" She forces out.

"D-do you need me to get you a new pom-pom? You kind of ripped that one in half," She asks nervously.

Lor looks at the damage she has done, then throws the two halves of the pom-pom to the ground "Cheer without me." She says as she stomps over to talk to Couch Colson.

Tish, Tino and Carver see the whole thing from up in the stands. "Man, Lor looks royally tick off. It looks like she just up and quite the cheerleading team," Tino concerns. "Maybe we should go talk to her."

"We should, but halftime is over now, and I don't think Lor is going anywhere," Tish informs.

"What do you mean?" Carver asks.

Tish shushes him as the buzzer sounds for the second half of the game. Laird sprints out into court with his team, feeling very proud of himself and certain that victory is at hand. That is, until he looks at whom he would be sharing center court with. Lor stood before him still in her cheerleader uniform, staring him down and grinning like a snake hungry her next meal. Cracking her knuckles, she says, "Rematch".

Laird swallows hard and tries to ask for a time out but it's too late as the referee blows his whistle and throws the ball back in play. From that point on, until the end of the game, Lor was on Laird like white on rice. Rebounding every shot, intercepting every pass, snatching the ball from him at every opportunity. The poor shmuck could never catch a break, and it didn't help him that the Possum's cheerleaders kept on chanting Lor's name. Lor exacted her revenge beautifully, it got to the point where Laird's teammates would ostracize him from the ball in fear of receiving Lor's wrath.

It was no time at all before the scales tipped and the Possums were leading the score. And at the end of the game, the Possums won with an eight point lead. With victory sealed, Lor walks up to a very tired and sore Laird, looks down at him, and says, "The lesson here, don't make bets that I can keep." And with that she leaves him to wallow in self-pity while she joins her teammates and friends.

"Way to go Lor," Tino congrats, "So are you going to join us for a victory celebration at the Pizza Place?"

"Like, totally- oops, I mean, For sure dude. You go ahead and I'll catch up with you."

Lor steps to the side and address us as the world goes gray, "Okay, I'm sure there's like a life lesson in here, but I'm too lazy to really think of one. I guess if I've learned anything is that not all cheerleaders are ditzy air-heads. And if I ever take a bet again, I'll be sure to get it in writing. Okay, well, if you'll excuse me, I hear a pizza calling my name. But first I've got to go and change into some normal clothes. My legs are freezing in this thing. Okay then, later days"

Author's notes:
Hi everyone, in case you're wondering, I am still writing Time Capsule, and the latest chapter is almost done, I'm just taking a break from it to try something a little light-hearted for a change. And to be honest, it was fun. You know, it is so popular to write a fan fiction that focuses on love, romance, tragedy, angst, death, coming of age stuff, blah, blah, blah. And I'm guilty of that too. But I guess that's the reason why I wrote this one-shot. I wanted to see if I could write a fan fic that was held within the TV friendly Disney boundaries. You know, no vulgar language, graphic violence, sexual tension, just good clean fun. At the beginning of writing this fan fic, I had indented to have Kandi and Kristi be part of the cheerleading squad. But I didn't want the plot to be like the episode 'Makeover' so I left them out. Which I believe worked out for the better. Before I go, I'd just like to thank Attic Man for giving me a good, solid concept to get me going on this fan fic, and for being my proof reader. Well, later days.