From Darkness to Light
By Amy Lee Belle
TO LIFE IN ALL ITS FORMS…
Copyright 2018 by Amy Lee Belle
Cover by Délilah Martin: /
"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us (…) And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we're liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others."
Marianne Williamson, A Return to Love: Reflections on the Principles of "a Course in Miracles"
PART 1
"In the beginning was the logos."
Gospel of John
29°57'05.0"N 90°04'18.9"W
CHAPTER 1 –
Pitch Dark
Of all the places I had been to, New Orleans was certainly the closest, the most similar to my human nature. Shy, full of light and darkness, still standing, even after hurricanes and storms had ripped her heart out, not allowing herself to show how difficult it had been to recover from the worst of nightmares.
My first months on the New Continent had been colored by interesting meetings and unusual places. I didn't exactly know why I had chosen the south after visiting New York, but one thing was certain, I wasn't disappointed. After several days in Alabama and having discovered the birthplace of equality, I was now discovering Louisiana.
And a benefit from sightseeing was that at least I could pretend I was a normal tourist, whose parents were waiting for her at their hotel if anyone asked, I thought as I was eating corn bread at the Oak Alley plantation house restaurant.
This huge mansion, its imposing Victorian architecture and the vast grounds surrounding it didn't fail to let out whispers of what slavery life had been, living in the minuscule stalls, serving cruel masters who would let them die without any remorse nor regret.
Truth was that I had always felt out of place, like the families who had been brought here to work the land.
Certainly after the accident, my friends' attitude had shifted and I hadn't even wanted to belong anymore. But it wasn't like they had even tried. I knew I could be introvert, but I had had to become strong after everything that had happened. I thought they had misunderstood my reaction for pride. Death, distress... all made people extremely uncomfortable. I guessed they had done what they could do best: they had pretended it hadn't been there, I hadn't been there... But my life in Europe had been nothing compared to the absolute nightmare slaves had had to wake up from.
How can we treat each other like this? Europe had had its history of hatred too, I just couldn't grasp what the motives had been to justify such abject violence and horror. Maybe it was human nature? Maybe it was the animality inside of us that drove us to extremes? But honestly, even animals didn't seem so wildly cruel towards each other, even they had a sense of protection towards their kind. Or maybe that was it: we didn't recognize different people as our own.
I had always found injustice repulsive and worth fighting against and here was another proof of our world greatest gangrene I concluded, leaving the immense plantation ground to go back to my rented flashy red car and trying to convince myself to stop torturing my mind, switching off the unstoppable emotions irradiating from me.
I was wandering in Bourbon Street after a week of sightseeing, further discovering the old south, its ancient taste for tobacco, cotton, hundred-year-old oak tree paths, sugar canes and ... music.
The light of dusk was illuminating the strange architecture of Victorian houses, fortune tellers were already trying to make up for the slow start of the high season, invading Jackson square with their dark tarot cards or crystal balls on lace tablecloth, calling to us – strangers – for redemption.
Myths and legends were like viruses here, they would evolve, reach every layer of the population and then move on to another secluded location.
The humid warmth was almost too much for my European tan but I was convincing myself that my journey here would represent everything I had ever wanted; a fresh start to this new, lonely chapter of my life – a present to celebrate graduation that had become the easy way out.
Jazz slowly started filling the intoxicating air of the French quarter, appealing to visitors and natives alike. I was no exception. I had never been a big fan of jazz music… before.
Its sadness, deep cry moved every part of who I was now, plunging me back into the devastating months prior to my arrival. My heart was still bleeding and it required every power I had left to block the painful images I had kept and taken with me.
However, the reflection I saw in the shop window opposite the square had surprised me: elongated, long brown haired, brown eyed, with a red sleeveless shirt, a pair of jeans and plastic flip flops. It was showing a regular seventeen-year-old teenager who had outgrown her clothing style. The perfect nobody who could fade away in this scenery.
I was slowly regaining some complexion and the weight I had lost these past months though –certainly due to my extreme taste for Louisiana jambalaya. The image reflected by the glass was almost familiar again even if the road to being me was still long and full of ambush. But did I really want to be myself again?
A jet-black haired boy took me out of my reverie by grasping my hand and pulling me, leading me I didn't know where. He had to be six, was wearing ripped muddy shorts and a shirt whose color was uncertain because of the dust.
"Come, come" he was repeating, pulling me even more strongly.
"Wait! Where are you taking me?" I was laughing and surprised by his strength but didn't change my mind as to stay where I was. "Where is your mother?" I asked, looking around, concerned for his safety.
But when he saw that I wouldn't move, he took my camera and made a run for it.
I couldn't lose that camera – my posthumous Christmas present, and after all that had happened, it was the only link I had with my past – aside from my memories.
I started running after him.
The boy was still in Decatur when I saw him turn left. I followed him around the corner and saw him stop in front of a lady.
She was standing on the steps of the half-open green door of another Victorian house, five feet away from me, crossing her arms.
She was tall with long braided hair, as black as the boy's, and had big dark eyes. She was wearing a white dress with red spots and a black apron – very trendy in the sixties. She almost looked like coming from another era, where women were behind the stove while their husbands were working.
When he faced her, looking at her intently, she took the camera from his hands and examined it curiously.
She then saw me round the corner – bent over to catch my breath – she looked back at him with a puzzled face. They started talking and the boy went inside the house.
"I'm so sorry…" the lady said approaching me with the camera still in her left hand. "My nephew told me he had seen you alone in Burbon street, he was worried about you..."
"I… I just want the camera back." I replied, not knowing what she had meant.
"Sure, sure, here it is, sugar" she continued handing me the precious object. "But please, let me offer you something to drink, come with me" she offered.
"Don't worry, I won't press charges, I...
I don't want to bother you…" I insisted.
"It's no bother, I'll be delighted to have some company…"
No one was waiting for me, I remembered, and against all odds, I accepted her offer and followed her inside what I presumed was her house.
Everything was tastefully furnished, the wooden floors gave their counterparts an almost Venetian style in the hall, with drapes and beautifully covered sofas in the living room. The little boy had found his place on one of them when we entered.
"Anton, please meet..." she started.
"Madeleine. My name is Madeleine." I finished her sentence.
Anton immediately came to stand up in front of me, and hugged me, without uttering a single word.
"I…" But he was already leaving the room without leaving me the time to say anything else.
"Please sit down…" my hostess offered, showing me a seat on the light blue sofa on my left.
"Thank you…" I answered politely.
"My name is Lynn. Welcome to my home. But let me fetch some refreshments first."
"Please, don't bother. I'm fine. Really." I said to the empty room, Lynn already in the kitchen.
I suddenly didn't remember why I had agreed to come here, it felt awkward sitting in a stranger's living room, even a friendly one.
She sat down in front of me and poured a lemonade in a yellow glass. "So what brings you here?" she started, almost mysteriously now.
"I'm taking some time off…" I answered, not willing to reveal too much of my life.
"I come from one of the oldest families in New Orleans. It's not every day that we see a young girl traveling alone."
"I…" I was looking at my feet now, not knowing what to answer. I let her go on, she had her eyes closed this time.
"I can tell that you are strong and independent. You are smart, resourceful and reliable but you don't expect life to treat you fairly and you are always ready for the worst. There is a lot of sadness in you too…" she went on "I see you've had your share of suffering since your birth."
How does she know all this?
After five seconds, she added "I see snow. A lot of snow."
My blood was just made run cold because I knew what she was going to say next. I was feeling threatened and terribly ill-at-ease.
"You lost them. It was winter. It is still haunting you. You don't know how to live without them. But know this, they're resting in the Light and they're very proud of you no matter what you decide."
"No matter what I decide? I don't understand."
She went on as if she hadn't heard me. "You will soon have to make a choice. That choice will influence you and all of us."
What was she talking about? It didn't make any sense…I wished I hadn't accepted her offer…
Lynn then opened her eyes and said "I'm sorry I can't tell you more."
"Thanks?" I said hesitantly. I stood up and added, still embarrassed "But it's getting late, and I need to go. I'm sorry".
I turned around and was ready to leave the living room when she added "Trust your heart, the Light is within you and all of us." And with this, I hurried down the street, finding my way back into the French Quarter.
CHAPTER 2 –
Heavy Shading
The café round the corner known as Tonique had become my favorite chilling area.
But unlike other evenings, the atmosphere was charged with an almost palpable electricity, so strong it was almost crushing my lungs. Or was it the heat or the strange encounter I had had?
I entered.
I had grown fond of red after spending three days here, or for better words, nights.
The only reminder of the Quarter's life had been the Mardi Gras beads hanging everywhere, on walls, bars even banisters.
The two-levelled café was inviting. The smell of sweat, alcohol and smoke from the previous night of festivities had never truly left the premises, leaving a yellowish trace on the white entrance doors.
The light around me was dim and called for introspection – in total contrast with a group of freshmen who were celebrating at the bar, talking animatedly about their future prospects and ambitions around "hurricanes" – a sweet New Orleans trademark.
I envied them.
Not their muscular, sculptural footballer bodies or the voluptuous silhouette of their girlfriends, no.
I couldn't care less about that.
This happy-go-lucky attitude; that was what was missing in my life.
As I was heading for my usual spot in a corner, I noticed a dark figure on my right.
I saw this man or rather I felt him watching me, his brown eyes reading straight into me, into my soul. I had never felt so exposed before.
As I was sitting down I could still feel his eyes lingering on me.
I glanced back.
Looking more closely, his features were too perfect, with his big brown eyes, his broad shoulders and short hair.
Was it an army tag he was wearing? That would explain a lot.
I was telling myself to stop staring.
Didn't these Americans know how to shop for proper sizes or were these too short shirts the only way they had to expose themselves?
Men….
Typical…
"What will it be for you tonight?" I was startled by the waitress's voice.
"A strawberry shake, please." I asked her.
She smiled recognizing me. "Right away."
I opened my Routard travel guide to prepare the next days' visits. Blaine Kern's Mardi Gras World should be fun.
"There you go. Call me if you need anything else." she said interrupting my reading.
"Thank you." I answered.
"Can I buy you a drink?" asked the dark stranger who had appeared in front of me.
How did he get so close so fast? He's even more handsome close to… "No thanks, I'm all set." I answered showing him my drink.
"I meant a proper drink…" He smiled. "Do you mind if I sit down?" He was already facing me as he hadn't waited for my answer. "My name is Jared."
I could feel my heartbeat accelerating as adrenalin was rushing through my veins. I didn't know if it was lust or a sense of danger. I considered not answering but I couldn't let him see how I felt. I didn't want to give him my real name. As I was recalling what my parents used to call me, I opted for this one: "Faith."
"Faith? You're not from here, are you? I don't recognize your accent."
"Well, you could say that. You're very perceptive." I added with sarcasm, when the waitress brought two hurricanes, winking at me. Why not? I thought and took a sip of my free drink.
"How come a European beauty like you speaks English like that? First time in New Orleans?" he inquired.
How does he know I am European? All these questions were only confirming the uneasiness I had sensed five minutes before. I wasn't used to all this attention. "Yes…" was all I gave away.
"Do you like it so far?"
"I love it here…" As he seemed to be waiting for more, I went on, speaking to hide my discomfort, "it's totally different from the other States I have visited."
"Where else have you been?"
"I was in New York a couple of weeks ago but I wanted some taste of the south as well. I visited Alabama first. That was incredible. So many things to see…"
"Well, there are plenty of things to do here as well. Let me take you to this great bar, you'll see…"
"I…" Suddenly my head started spinning. My body felt numb, my legs unable to move. I was starting to feel heavy, the music around us slowly fading away.
"Sweet dreams, beauty. We've been waiting for you" said the brown-eyed stranger.
PART 2
"Every nature, every modeled form, every creature, exists in and with each other. They will dissolve again into their own proper root. For the nature of matter is dissolved into what belongs to its nature."
Gospel of Mary of Magdala
1°54'28.2"N 73°21'19.3"E
CHAPTER 1 –
Flickering Shadows
I could feel growing excitement at the prospect of my feet touching the immaculate sand.
All these vivid colors, green, blue, white… were invading my heart, swelling, incredible birds were flocking above my head, chirping.
The air was so fresh and the water so pure that the landscape took my breath away.
I was walking on the beach, the sun warming my skin, my clothes and my whole being, grains of sand tickling my toes.
I was now advancing towards the forest, alone, smelling exotic and exquisite perfumes, touching tree trunks, plants and admiring their beautiful leaves, the virgin flora of this new Eden when I suddenly saw her – mum – in the middle of the forest, opening her arms, welcoming me.
The sun, high in the sky, was reflecting on her silhouette and blond hair, blowing in the wind.
Mum? Warm tears were trickling down my cheeks as I realized I was holding my mother, in my arms.
Yes, child. I am with you, I have never left you. And when the time comes, I will be there for you too. I love you, always.
She suddenly disappeared and my core constricted, at the lost sight of her.
When I turn around, marching through the forest again, trying to find her, I was stopped short by a field of wild rose bushes, whose red petals I was now touching seemed so fierce and strong.
Follow your heart and fulfil your destiny…I heard my mother's voice echo through my mind.
My head was hurting so much. I felt heavy and swollen. Should I try to open my eyes?
The pain was excruciating, just like the smell – a mix of burning flesh, metal, bleach and blood.
Was I in a hospital?
I could hear a strange noise.
What was it…a drill?
Slowly I started to open my left eye.
The light was blinding and too strong to distinguish anything.
Hands holding my skull, why?
My pulse started racing.
I heard a man yelling.
I passed out, again.
"You're stronger than I thought you would be, you made it. Welcome to the team!"
I tried to open my eyes as I heard him talk.
You, monster. What had he done to me?
My eyelids were so heavy. My mouth was so dry, my head was spinning and so sore…What I saw was blurry at first. But now I could see him, the guy from the bar again, and next to him… the same guy? It couldn't be.
"Leave her alone, J. You're not supposed to be here. Let me handle it."
I could feel something sharp inside my right arm and caught sight of tubes connected to a sort of plastic bag. "W….a…..t…..er" I whispered.
"Not now. You need time to recover. Rest…" the second J said again.
Unable to resist the urge of closing my eyes again, I let go.
Deafening sound everywhere.
I could feel the floor vibrating.
An earthquake? Music?
An electric light was beaming.
I lay on the ground. That I was sure of; my back was cold and my muscles were hurting.
My head. Ouch. What the fuck?
Touching my skull I didn't recall shaving one side of it. I touched it again and felt a naked line just above my right ear.I needed a mirror. Or maybe later. I helped myself up with the bed next to me.
A sharp pain was radiating inside of me but was distilled by a sort of dizziness.
Have I been drinking?
I tried to walk but I found it difficult to make a step. It felt like walking on sand.
What was I doing here anyway? How had I got in this place? Was I daydreaming again?
I started looking around me. I was in a sort of hospital room. The walls were white. No furniture except a bed and no sound except this vibration coming from the floor or is it all inside my head?
Control, do not panic, you're gonna get out of here. I tried to find a door but saw no evidence of any.
A feeling of dread and frustration was slowly rising inside me and invaded all my body.
My hands and legs began to tremble, and I collapsed on the floor.
I could feel tears stinging my eyes. But I swallowed them. And I did so because I had remembered. No one was waiting for me, no one would alert the police in order to know my whereabouts, no one.
If life is ruthless to you, be ruthless to life. That is what I had learned these past months.
I needed to stand up, to move, for my legs had started to feel numb because of the lack of movement. So I did it, I stood up, for what purpose, I didn't know but I hadn't been raised to stay passive and now I had to count on myself and myself only.
I was standing there when someone caught me off guard.
"Hey, are you okay?" A small woman in white with charcoal hair coming from nowhere had put her hand on my shoulder.
As tried to remove it, surprised by her gesture, I froze at her touch, receiving thousands and thousands of pictures to process at the same time.
My eyes rolled upwards, the pain inside my skull was unbearable.
When I saw her.
She was cleaning cuts and applying a salve, injecting patients with antibiotics and taking care of them, speaking nice words.
And suddenly I knew, I knew the precise movements to perform all these nursing acts,
I knew you had to check your syringe wasn't containing air bubbles before injecting anything into your patient's arm to avoid embolism,
I knew you had to wash your hands to avoid MSA infections, I knew how to remove stitches and when to do it… I could go on and on about all the new things I knew.
But I had never been to a nursing school, I had never attended any lesson about injecting patients.
What was happening to me?
I screamed, my head was hurting again but I didn't know if it was a cry of pain or fear – fear of the unknown or of losing myself completely.
The deafening noise in my head was seemingly drowning my scream but it was still repelling the only person who had shown me kindness here.
"It's okay. Don't worry." said a musky voice next to me. I turned around.
It was him. At that moment I couldn't suppress my rage any longer, I wanted to slap him.
He was responsible for what had happened to me, it was the third time I saw him and all these memories were strongly linked to pain. "You bastard!"
As my hand was almost touching his face, he stopped me in mid-air, not looking surprised at all.
"I'm not who you think I am. Look more closely."
I didn't know what he meant by it but there was something in his voice that made me want to trust him. I started staring at him, examining every tiny detail of his muscular body; his large hands, his broad shoulders, his face. His hair looked longer than it had the last time I saw him. Then it hit me, like an arrow piercing my heart. It wasn't the guy from the bar, even though they looked alike.
Jared, I thought was his name, had brown eyes and short hair, exuding confidence and pride. This handsome man in front of me had gentle blue eyes, and a body too stunning not to be noticed but he didn't seem to be aware of it.
"You're not ...J...him."
"No, I'm his brother, Kellan. Now, get a grip on yourself and follow me."
"No way. I want answers, right now. What have you done to me? What am I doing here?" I was shouting.
"You have two options; first one, you go on yelling and I'm out of here. Second one, you shut up and do what I tell you to do!" he said matter-of-factly.
"Gee, thanks. So much for options!"
What choice did I have? I was in the middle of nowhere, with no one to turn to.
The best I could do was following him, escaping as soon as I could. Reluctantly, I yielded. "Alright. As long as you promise not to knock me out again."
"I can't promise you that even if I agreed to it."
"Why not?" My voice was now subtly pleading.
"It is not up to me to decide."
So that was it, the evil twins weren't the brain behind all of this. Whoever it was, they were going to pay, I thought to myself. I didn't know how but a door suddenly appeared on one of the walls and I followed him having run out of other options.
After ten minutes, walking in silence through the same landscape, an endless gray hall, and having had my share of dark thoughts and headache, I decided to break it "Where are we going?"
Silence.
Complete and utter silence. I was about to provoke a reaction by yelling at him again when I froze to the spot. This time I couldn't be mistaken, it was Jared, sardonically smiling at me while advancing towards us.
"It was about time, beauty. You almost kept me waiting."
"Give her a break, J." Kellan said, then added out of blue "No, the recordings were inconclusive."
Who was he talking to?
"I'm not sure it's a good idea. I wouldn't risk it. It wouldn't be the first time we disagreed on something, J."
What was that? An unsettling feeling was growing inside me.
Jared stopped in front of me, then he added "See you, beauty."
"N..." was the only sound I could form before being stung by something in my neck. Everything turned dark and night swallowed me again.
I felt a pinch on my left arm, then nothing.
No noise; frightening silence and tormenting darkness. I could hear the comforting beating of my heart now.
Where was I? I opened my eyes, trying to get used to my new environment. My pulse started racing as my body recalled the scent of blood and metal. All my senses were in alert now.
Fear. Simple, deep fear engulfing my whole being and crushing everything on its way. I recognized the feeling.
The room I was in seemed square and uninviting. The walls were bright white with a metallic table in the middle. Next to my bed, there was a gray trolley full of surgery tools.
And next to the trolley, Kellan, with his now familiar blue eyes.
I was sore, everywhere. My arms were stretched.
I tried to move them but they were attached to the bed, I couldn't feel my wrists nor my hands any longer.
Why restraining me? I wasn't the criminal here, they were. I promised myself not to give way to panic and refrained my tears of rage.
"The more you try to resist, the more they will cut your wrists. We needed to restrain you, we didn't want to find you on the floor like last time." he said, holding a syringe.
We? Who does he mean?
"Don't worry, I won't hurt you."
Easier said than done. Trying to gain my trust was too late. "What am I doing here?" Make him talk…I thought.
"You're at the facility, as we call it."
"Which day is it? How long was I out?" He approached slowly and looked at me intensely.
Is he trying to say anything? His fierce and hungry eyes were still concentrated on me, and trying to avoid his stare, I noticed a red dot in the upper left corner of the room.
He was now rearranging the trolley, putting the needle into a flashy yellow bin and removing is blue gloves.
"Untie me, now!" I demanded.
He was still not responding, when I heard footsteps. They belonged to more than one person. All confidently, almost angrily, walking towards me.
A hidden door automatically opened on my left, was there an opening mechanism on the other side?
I tried to catch a glimpse at what I thought was a passage but the contrast between this passage and the room I was being kept in was too stark to distinguish anything. I even didn't know if it was day or night. I had fed on adrenalin for the past ... what? Days? Weeks?
A woman in her fifties all dressed in a black suit and high heels entered, escorted by two of her bodyguards.
At her side I immediately recognized Jared. He was still smiling his cynical smile, wearing the same kind of outfit he had when I had first met him, showing off his perfect body with his even tighter shirt.
The girl flanked on the right was wearing a black, strapless dress with black gloves, holding a beige file.
Strange for this place, I thought.
She looked just a couple of years older than me, not more than twenty.
She was a tall, elegant blonde with a thin waist and long hair held in a ponytail. She was smiling too, but her smile seemed to unintentionally express all the repressed sadism hidden by this perfect body. Her steely gray eyes were trying to gouge me in detail.
"What is going on here? Release her now! She's not a prisoner, she is our guest." said the oldest of them three.
Looking at her expressionlessly and then turning to me, Kellan freed me with the key he had previously removed from his right pocket.
Blood was painfully finding its way back to my hands.
The lady was addressing me this time "You can call me Miss Stern." The strange woman's voice was filled with determination and strength.
She was blonde too, slightly taller than the girl wearing gloves, but her body could not disguise her harshness and anger. Her pale complexion, wrinkles and hawk-like eyes also seemed to betray great intelligence and coldness. "I have to apologize for the behavior of my staff but I'm glad to see you, miss…"
"Faith", Jared added.
"Faith? Give me her file Jeanne, would you?" Jeanne complied. She opened the file and read. "I dare say I understand why you would change your name..."
"Go to hell!" I burst out.
"At least you can speak English. And French as well."
"I…" I didn't know what to add. How does she know all this? "What have you done to me?" I finally asked.
"We tried to enhance you, darling, or your brain capacity, if you prefer. I would have loved to explain it all to you before surgery, you would have seen the absolute necessity of what we do here. But I'm afraid that's what happens with a lousy staff…" She finished, glancing sidelong at Jared.
"Enhance? What do you mean?" Are they mental?I asked myself almost in shock.
"I mean we inserted a needle in your cortex to stimulate the unused parts of your brain. But apparently it wasn't as efficient for you as I had expected. You are supposed to become the strongest, most intelligent of your kind. I have great hopes and plans for you…But you probably need more time."
"My kind? What are you talking about, you bitch? You will regret what you've done to me, I swear I…"
Blondie number two seemed to wince at my comment, taking a further step in my direction.
She was hampered by the swift movement of Stern's arm.
"Don't, darling. She has all the rights to be upset." She added to me this time "Take all the time you need honey, I will explain everything when you feel more incline. But there's one little test I would like you to have and we'll leave you. Kellan, take her hand, will you?"
And without a single movement of hesitation, he took it. I could feel all my muscles tense and then electrical warmth encircling first my hand, then my heart, and irradiating my whole body. His hand had felt soft in mine, and gentle, and protective.
I tried to recover my composure dreading the now familiar pain in my head that such contact had caused the first time.
Nothing.
Blondie was sniggering while Jared was looking at me with a smug expression of disdain.
"Thank you darling, that's all for now. K, take her to her room, she needs to rest. Jeanne, J, let's go, please. We have business to attend to." Stern finished.
"Wait, you haven't answered any of my questions, I…" I was talking to myself as the trio had already left the room without even rewarding me of a second glare.
I didn't want Kellan to see me like this – fragile, and frightened. It took all the courage I had left for me to stand up and face him.
"Let's go!" he added.
I followed him but this time without complaining, I was too exhausted and weak anyway.
CHAPTER 2 –
After Dark
We had left the familiar scent of blood, metal and bleach for the smell of an indoor space only ventilated by fans.
This place was like a maze, tunnels were giving way to new ones at every angle, without any code of colors nor numbers to indicate directions. The light was weak, coming from the metallic floor boarding and small lamps above every door we encountered. There was no window, no sunlight, no view, only gray angles and corners.
There was no noise, no voice nor any human activity. The only sound I could hear was of my footsteps echoing Kellan's and of fans working at thirty feet from each other.
These premises were reflecting my inner state but I didn't want to let despair invade all my thoughts. Find a pattern. I thought. Left, left, right, and left again.
At the end of this new hall Kellan stopped all of a sudden and touched a square button on the wall. A shape resembling a door lit up in front of me and opened.
"Here. This will be your room." he said.
I entered.
The light was brighter in here but still no window. There was a small bunk bed with fresh linen in the left corner, a sink and toilet facing it. In front of me there was a rusty mirror protected by something resembling Plexiglas.
My reflection in it felt strange.
Who was this girl? It couldn't be me, I didn't recognize myself. My head was partly shaved on the right side and I looked stunningly defeated. I had become a shallow of a person.
I turned around just to realize that Kellan had gone. "Wait! Don't leave me here."
It was useless. I was left alone, in this square room, like a prisoner. The door had turned into a wall and with it, the consciousness of what had happened struck me. I felt drained, famished and utterly hopeless.
I stumbled upon a bed and lay down, trying to calm my nerves, bracing my knees in fetal position, silently sobbing.
I closed my eyes not to open them for a long time.
I was awake, looking at the ceiling of the bunk bed. After a moment of hesitation I finally recalled where they had taken me. I got out of bed and was heading for the door when it turned translucent and opened.
"Kellan, what…?" I didn't have time to finish my sentence.
He was already kissing me, passionately, holding my head with his two hands, forcing his mouth into mine, invading my space and pushing his body against mine. I could feel his muscular chest and incredible strength. I soon started feeling stunned, my body burning, lit with a blazing fire.
What I felt was too powerful, happening too soon, consuming every part of me, from the inside.
It felt odd and I tried to push him away, to stop his embrace but he was too strong. And when he finally let me catch my breath he whispered in my ear,
"Come one, beauty. I know you want it too." Abject horror came with the realization that I had
been kissing Jared…
I startled out of bed, sweating, with vivid memories of my disturbing nightmare.
How long was I asleep? I thought I could hear footsteps fading away or maybe I was still dreaming. My eyelids were still heavy but I was famished, I needed food and a shower too...My lips were dry and I could sense bitterness on my tongue. I sat down on my bed, my head almost touching the structure of the second bed above me. I couldn't make sense of anything around me.
I just knew I had to get out. But how? At the right time. When they expect it the least, when I've won their trust. Let's find some food first…
The room was as I remembered it: modern, gloomy and alien. The same faint night light was burning. I decided to get out of bed.
My arms and legs were still sore, my sleep had been restless.
I approached the wall that I recalled had been the only way out. There, I saw it; this square was a slightly different shade of metallic gray. I pressed it and a door appeared on the same spot it had had the day or night before – I still didn't know which one it was as the brightness around me or the lack of it had not shifted overnight.
I couldn't hear anything but decided to give it a try anyway and went out.
Nothing.
"Hello? Anyone here?" I called out as I was inspecting my surroundings. Getting lost in this maze of tunnels would be useless, so I decided to go back to my room. In front of the opened door, I saw something resembling a tray.
Muffins? Yum. And what were these? Rags? Blankets, right. No clothes? Are you kidding?
I needed to get changed. I was turning, facing the door and carrying the tray with me. Suddenly I heard a whoosh and felt wind on my face.
"Hey there. Faith, right?"
I almost died of fright, and let the tray fall on the floor, I felt like a cat put under a running shower.
"Easy, you don't want to waste these, they're the best." said the strange guy in front of me, picking up the muffins from the floor.
"Do you want to give me a heart attack?" I said angrily.
"I always forget. Sorry. But where are my manners? Let me introduce myself. Ben, the greatest, fastest guy on Earth. At your service, happy to see you finally awake…" He was tall, brown-haired, brown-eyed and tanned, composed but funny-looking at the same time, with no sense of fashion.
He was wearing striped trousers and a checked blue shirt. He had nothing in common with the body-builders I had previously seen, he almost seemed frail and sensitive.
"I don't understand… What do you want?" I finally asked.
"I'm here to show you around and help you get changed."
"No way, I'm not changing in front of you." I insisted.
"That won't be necessary. See that button there?" He was pointing at another shape – this time a circle – at the opposite side of the room, next to the mirror. "Push it, stand still and picture what you want to wear. I'll be waiting for you outside."
"Wait! What do you mean by 'picture what you want to wear'? Didn't you bring any clothes?"
I didn't want to trust anyone but Ben seemed alright. I complied because I had nothing left to lose and I couldn't spend another day in these clothes.
Nevertheless I hesitantly approached the corner of the room. I hit the button as I had been instructed. Picture clothes? Okay. A pair of jeans would be nice. And a top, my favorite blue hoodie jumper of course and army boots.
Suddenly a tube made out of glass appeared out of nowhere, circling me around in pink neon lighting. I started freaking out, again. I hit the glass as hard as I could and shouted for help but no one answered. The light inside the tube changed and I saw a red light at my feet, going up, and melting my clothes? What the f…?
I was naked and a second later what felt like the power of a thousand waves crashed headlong onto my skin.
Two seconds later, the stream turned into air and I was dry. Another light, made of rainbow beams was immersing me now and I could feel warmth, pins and needles prickling all over my body. All of a sudden, everything came to a halt and as the circular shape was retracting to the ground.
I glanced at my newly clothed body: blue hoodie jumper, jeans and army boots like I had imagined. The door turned transparent again and Ben entered the room.
"It'd better be comfortable", he said gesticulating in front of me and pretending to be offended.
"You owe me an explanation. Starting now! Press the button? At least you could have warned me."
"You wouldn't have believed me anyway.
Just the tech team having fun. Don't make a fuss about it. What do you want to know?" he asked sitting down on my bed.
"How is that even possible, how can I think about something and see it materialize in front of me?"
"That would be because of your chip."
"A chip? Which chip?"
"Can you touch the base of your skull?"
"Now?" I couldn't believe no one had mentioned this to me before.
"Yes, do it now. Do you feel it? Sort of a tiny plastic plaster?"
"I...yes, I can feel it."
"Each of us has one. They insert them after the operation. It is supposed to monitor your brain activity, to prevent aneurysm too."
I was surprised to realize that I knew what aneurysm meant, but I did. "What do you mean by us?"
"We call ourselves suprahumans or supras. You'll see why once you meet the others." Ben finished.
"What? Who did this to you?" It was getting weirder and weirder by the minute.
"You mean to us? You're part of the team now whether you like it or not. But let me fix your interior first. I don't know how you managed to sleep in there, it is hideous! We need to do something about your lack of taste for fashion too... See the kind of mirror over there?"
"Let me guess, it's not a mirror." I said.
"Sorry to disappoint you, it is a mirror, among other things. Go standing in front of it."
My face must have betrayed my reluctance because Ben was showing some impatience.
"Now! We don't have all day. I would like to have breakfast before noon!"
I did as I was asked, surprised by the sudden change of tone and turned around.
"Face the mirror and close your eyes. Think of open space and fashion, of curves and colors..."
I wasn't listening anymore. I was feeling so homesick. I knew I had to block the next images that were coming to my mind, I didn't want to think about them now. I couldn't afford to break down. Instead I directed my thoughts to my room, back at the apartment.
The wooden floor and huge windows letting the sunlight in, the wooden shelves facing the fireplace containing all the books I knew so well, my favorite ones I had read at least three times and I couldn't decide to throw away, the smell of pine and the white candles decorating the table. I could feel the sun warming my face, drying my tears away...I could almost hear them now, whispering my name.
"Now open your eyes."
I woke up from my deep reverie with a jump. Was I still dreaming? I couldn't believe what the reflection in the mirror was showing me. I was at the apartment, I was home. How was this possible?
"Not bad. I would have gone for a more modern touch but it's cozy."
Ben was sitting down on my white leather sofa, I couldn't believe it.
I was afraid someone would wake me up. I didn't dare touch anything, afraid it might dissolve.
"Don't worry, you may still change your mind, the room will adapt to your will."
"Wh..."
I didn't have time to finish my sentence, Ben was already answering. "You see, that chip is not that bad. It contains all the images your brain is analyzing. The computer behind the mirror glass interprets everything and tadaa. Let's go now, I'm starving."
I didn't want to go, I wanted to lock myself in here and never confront the real world again. But my tummy was rumbling too. I took the muffins on the tray and reluctantly followed Ben to the hall.
"Keep up. This way. " Ben was commanding.
I was trying to remember the way but this new path, though very similar to the one I had taken with Kellan, was longer and I quickly lost count.
Ben had stopped in front of a corner. "I can't explain everything but here is the answer to the question where." He pressed yet again another button in the upper left corner of the wall that we were both facing. The wall materialized into a frame and the frame became translucent like my entrance door.
It was pitch black outside and I couldn't see anything. I approached my face to what I supposed was a window.
Nothing.
Then a small black shape took form, gliding in the dark, another one, now followed by twenty, then thirty.
Oh my God. It can't be. Fish? I was surrounded by fish. We were underwater.
"We're in the Maldives. This whole facility is immersed so forget about breathing fresh air. There, let's go downstairs now", he added while pushing on other shapes.
The frame turned into its original state and gave way to another door.
I followed Ben into what seemed to be an elevator.
The harsh brightness around us contrasted with the pale light of the hall. The door turned opaque and Ben, knowing exactly what to do, activated a sort of control panel. We were moving I didn't know where to. I gave a look at this small panel to my right.
Floor numbers lit up quickly.
But somehow, everything felt reversed: we had just left the sixth floor, the numbers on the panel going up. I thought Ben had said we would go downstairs…Odd.
When number twelve became brighter, the door disappeared again.
We were in front of a gigantic area.
These premises were organized like a human body, all the veins conducting their load to the heart.
This grand dining room was this heart; full of movement, spacious and welcoming every soul waiting to be refueled. As soon as I caught a glimpse, its interior took my breath away: its grandiose ceiling with four glass chandeliers reflecting the light in the room, the huge one-hundred-and-eighty degree window frame with its view on a marvelous beach with white sand and turquoise water, encircled by two palm trees. I guessed this view was just an image, like in my apartment, but it seemed so real, you could almost smell the iodized wind blowing in the tree leaves. The middle of the room was filled with five gray rectangular tables, able to host two hundred people at the very least. Only twenty were sitting around them, chatting in five separate groups. It looked more like a ball room than a dining room. The shiny white floor and white tapestries, with twenty familiar faces – American presidents'– standing out in relief were another confirmation of that impression.
Gain their trust…Go on. Get out of the elevator… I was following Ben inside when I felt eyes lingering on me. I held my breath when I saw who they belonged to. It felt like advancing in slow motion, in total silence.
The only sound I was aware of was my heartbeat accelerating. Nothing else mattered than these blue eyes fixing me, laying my soul bare.
I felt exposed, naked and fragile but I couldn't afford to let them see it. My gaze held his and for a few seconds it felt like we were just the two of us, the frenzy of this world no longer affecting me.
"Let's go, Faith." Ben encouraged me.
It was only then that I realized, as Ben was interrupting my reverie, who Kellan was sitting next to. Crushed by the realization that he would never care for a girl like me, I continued following Ben in silence, cursing blondie for looking so perfect, even with her freakish gloves on.
We finally arrived at the corner of the first table where three new pairs of eyes were gazing at me.
"Hey guys, what's up? Look who's with me!" Ben said, going around the corner of the table and taking place on the vacant seat in front of me.
As no one was uttering a word, I figured a proper introduction was in order. "Hi" I said timidly. "I'm Faith."
"We know who you are" said the black haired boy next to Ben. He had big dark eyes, as black as coal. He had endured pain and suffering, you could say that much just by looking at him. He was casually dressed in black and immediately turned his head to peek at the table where my eyes had rested five minutes before.
"Don't mind him, Wolf is not a morning person…" said the girl on my right, smiling.
She was wearing a pair of jeans and a purple shirt with sparkling stars on it. She seemed so young, fifteen? Almost innocent.
Her blue eyes appeared altered by time, or pain – I didn't know why. She had auburn hair and freckles all over her face. "I'm so happy to meet you, we have heard so much about you. I'm Maggy by the way, and this is Toby", she said pointing at the boy sitting next to her.
Toby couldn't be much older than me and he seemed mesmerized by Maggy but not as naïve.
He was wearing vintage glasses you could barely distinguish because his Venetian blonde hair was covering half of his face. He was wearing a pair of blue trousers and a black shirt.
"Sit down with us", Maggy added.
"Thanks" I answered most immediately. I chose the safety of Maggy's surrounding and sat down on her left.
"Welcome to the team", said Toby, trying to play it cool.
"Thanks, I guess." How could they seem so relaxed? They're even smiling? Didn't they endure the same? "So how long have you been here?" I ventured.
"I think the twins were first in the program, Jeanne was second, Wolf was third, and then Ben arrived. Finally Toby and I were altered last year. So, you know, I still need to train to increase myability."
"Your ability? What are you talking about?"
"As if you didn't know… You are one of those who have endured the operation successfully, what is yours?" Maggy further asked.
"Well I…I don't know yet…"
"Too soon? Maybe it will be better if I show you, you'll know what to expect…"
Maggy then stretched her left hand. She closed her eyes, focused but I couldn't see anything.
It was just after ten seconds that I noticed something was moving above her hand. Some particles of dust were dancing above her palm, then spinning, faster and faster until they created a small tornado, the size of a candlestick. It was amazing. She opened her eyes and explained: "I can control the elements around me, but as you can see, I need to increase my power."
"We all need to", finished Toby, trying to reassure her certainly. "I'm a telekinesis", he added.
"What does it …" I didn't have time to finish my question, one of my muffins was already moving in the air and finished its course on his plate.
"Useful when you're hungry" he explained laughing.
I couldn't hide my smile. "What about you?" I asked Wolf hesitantly.
As he didn't bother answering, Maggy continued "Wolf is a real predator, for starters he can see in the dark and he hears everything, miles away."
Hence the name Wolf I imagined. "What about the others?"
"You mean Jeanne and the twins? We don't really know. No one does exactly, except Ms. Stern of course. All we know is that they must be really powerful, Jeanne, Kellan and Jared are always away on missions and they always sit together." finished Maggy.
"Not much of a loss, if you want my opinion" said Ben.
At that moment, Wolf stood up loudly and exited the room, as if he had seen a ghost.
They all looked at him incredulously.
"What's his problem?" I asked but I could see they weren't listening, instead their eyes were all fixing something or someone behind me with defiance.
I decided to turn around to check what was happening when I heard a whisper in my ear: "Sweet dreams, beauty?"
I froze as Jared was moving away from me while chuckling sarcastically. At this moment, all my frustration and anger rushed back, together with the recall of painful past events – the operation, the pain, the constant frustration and the purposely lack of answers. As my heartbeat was accelerating I felt flushed and ready to scream.
"Excuse me…" I apologized to my new friends, pushing my chair away from the table to stand up more easily.
I looked around and spotted Jared near the buffet in front of our table. I was slowly walking to him, taking my time to savor that moment.
When I was facing his back I asked him "Jared, right?"
He turned around, but too slowly to anticipate what I had had in mind since our second meeting. I slapped him fiercely in the face, letting my anger take the best of me and added "Stay away from me, you bastard!"
I could hear Ben and the others clapping their hands, cheering and whistling as I was admiring the astounded face of Jared who still didn't understand what had happened.
He was rubbing his left cheek slowly, his face no longer able to hide his mischievous nature, his eyes only confirming what I already knew: he would want his revenge.
But I didn't care anymore. I wanted control over my life again, this pretentious jerk couldn't hurt me anymore without expecting retaliation.
I was heading back to Maggy when I peeked at Jeanne who seemed even more furious than Jared. Her face was red with anger, she was trying to stand up but Kellan's arm was preventing her from attempting anything. He was looking down, as if he were hiding… a smile? I must have been mistaken.
When I found my seat back next to Maggy, I was famished. I took the remaining muffin and ate it quickly.
She chuckled "well I'm sure he didn't see that one coming. He sure deserved it, he's such a jerk."
The other two were nodding and smiling at me too.
I turned to face Maggy, to know more about where I had landed "You said those who have successfully endured the operation. How many are there?"
"With you included, we are eight. But I think they've tried on others…" She wasn't smiling anymore.
"On others? What happened?" I wanted to know.
"I guess… I guess they didn't survive the operation. We never saw them…
But every time Jared and Kellan leave for a few days, I think they bring back a new recruit… And they've been away a lot recently, five or six times before your arrival…"
"Oh my Gosh. How do we stop them?"
"Stop them, are you insane? We are all volunteers. Ms. Stern saved me, she saved us. The twins and Jeanne are total jerks but they're here because they chose to. No one forced us."
Why didn't they let me choose then?
At this moment, as I knew my question would remain unanswered, I felt a presence behind me. Alarmed by the possibility that it could be J, I turned around carefully, ready to react in case of attack.
It was Wolf. "You are to be in Ms. Stern's office in five minutes. Follow me."
"How dare you..?" I tried to say.
But Maggy was already whispering to me "Do not argue with Ms. Stern, she wants what's best for you, you'll see."
Maybe Maggy was right, maybe she would give me the answers I was looking for…I stood up and followed Wolf to the elevator, having weighed all my options, my curiosity had won.
CHAPTER 3 –
Blurry Sight
Stuck in this enclosed space, I tried to focus on where I was going. The control panel had indicated one before stopping.
Wolf hadn't pronounced a single word since passing along Stern's request. Something told me he wouldn't pronounce any audible sound unless it was totally necessary. I was wondering why he had chosen his name and if all the supras were like him. I already knew Maggy wasn't but I couldn't say Ben or Toby had been really talkative about their life here. One thing was certain though, I knew I couldn't trust any of them. Maybe they are right to remain secretive because once I have the chance to expose them all, I will, without the slightest hesitation.
That was it, my life now: a world stained with deceit, bitterness and loneliness.
We were still walking along these new walls – Wolf leading – and I realized that everything seemed to be the same around here; it still seemed impossible to find your way, the sound and smell were identical to my floor – silence and dust.
The only difference resided in their color: these walls were a dark shade of gray. It certainly fitted the host's personality: cruelly cold.
Wolf suddenly stopped moving to inhale noisily.
"What's the matter? Is there something on the stove?" I ventured, half mocking him, half trying to make a statement: the dense air was unbreathable here.
"Shhh..." was the only thing he grumbled. "Stay here, she will receive you in a minute."
And with that, he disappeared into the maze, leaving me behind.
One minute passed, then two. I was keeping track of time, with one finger on my pulse. It had always been as regular as a clock.
I imagined that shouting was a total waste of time, so I wouldn't even bother.
At the count of eighty new pulsations, a bright ray of light bathed me entirely, so strong I was blinking. Half covering my eyes, I tried to see where it had come from.
The ceiling.
With this sudden realization I also felt myself become lighter, almost floating. But I was floating, I was moving into thin air, ascending towards the ceiling. It felt like being trapped in a huge vacuum.
I couldn't open my eyes – the light was too intense – but at a certain point I sensed my feet touch the concrete and I risked opening them.
This exasperated high pitched voice was giving me gooseflesh as I recalled who it belonged to.
"Have a seat." Ms. Stern said, not even bothering to look at me nor move an inch.
Her office was tidy and impersonal: no picture, no plant, nor color.
Everything was white or black.
Her dark desk was covered with what seemed to be stacks of files, one she had already opened and pretended to be reading.
She had a white file cabinet with black drawers on her right and a huge window frame behind her. The image dancing on the screen was the view I imagined you could have from a skyscraper in New York. It portrayed a marvelously balanced landscape: building on both sides and a patchwork of green in the middle.
I had never seen Central Park from this height but it was how I would imagine it.
I still couldn't believe these premises were immersed. Maybe it was another of their tricks.
I sat down on the ivory chair in front of me. It was cold, uninviting and uncomfortable.
She swiftly closed her file and reopened hostilities. "I called for you to have an update on your condition. It's been more than a week now, ten days to be exact, that you underwent alteration and still no sign of activity. It is quite odd considering it took less than twelve hours for the others to show upgrade."
What did you expect?
"Have you felt anything unusual?" she went on.
"You mean except the splitting headache I need to thank you for? No, nothing."
"Don't take this tone with me, young lady. Now, I see that your chip recorded a peak of activity but it could have been the pain."
"How could you do this to me?" I asked violently.
"I beg your pardon?"
"I mean, how could you do this to me, bitch!"
"How dare you? I've already apologized for the way my staff treated you... One day you will thank me!" she said with her smug tone.
"How could you ever expect me to thank you?" I went on. "You took everything from me. What about my freedom? I had a life!"
"You call this a life? You may not realize it yet but I gave you everything on a silver platter: opportunities and a cause worth fighting for when you had lost everything. Don't you want to matter?
To make a difference in this world? Because you will never have another chance like this again. I know you are affected by the anarchy we live in; corruption, terrorism, global warming… You know we owe it to ourselves to act upon these issues. I've just given you what the mere mortals will never have: the conscience of what is really happening and the tools to fight it" she continued.
I couldn't believe this woman's sheer audacity. Was she totally out of her mind?
"I've never asked for any of it. It is not my fight. I had plans and a whole life ahead of me."
"You're right, it's not your fight; it's everyone's. And about your life all planned ahead, your file here says otherwise." she answered angrily.
"What do you mean?"
"I mean your hospital report here says otherwise." She grasped a sheet of paper out of her file and gave it to me to read.
Post-traumatic stress? It was all too detailed, I didn't have the time to read everything and I didn't want to hear anymore of her bullshit. Using my suicide attempt was a low blow but I wasn't going to let her throw it at me without a fight.
"It was an accident. It's what happens when you drink and you forget that you're using sleeping pills."
"I don't believe a word of it. You knew exactly what you were doing. And who could blame you? You had just lost the only people who really cared for you. But don't tell me you had it all figured out. You were totally lost and had no one.
But everything is different now. Once you really understand what we're trying to do here, you will be proud to be part of it. We're your family, you're not alone anymore. Trust me and give me a chance to show you. What have you got to lose?"
I didn't know what else to say.
"This whole post-traumatic stress incident will stay between us but I need you to cooperate. You will have to report to your personal physician every day and we'll monitor any modification. In the meantime you will have to work, train and learn like any other member of our staff. After that you'll be free to leave if you're not convinced."
"Why me?" I finally asked.
"You will see for yourself. That will be it." she concluded without letting me any other opportunity to speak up.
I was mute with confusion. I was about to ask her where to go when Wolf appeared in a glimpse through the same passage I had used. He came to stand on my left in front of her desk.
"Report?" she asked him briskly.
"I thought we had been followed but it seems I was mistaken. The trail grew cold near the second elevator. It could have been anyone."
"Go on investigating. I want to catch the culprit as quickly as possible. Accompany Faith to Dr. Drest's." As he wasn't showing any response she added "Now."
Wolf looked at me, his face betraying his mistrust. He took me by the arm and we were back in the tunnel in a matter of seconds, still bathing in light.
Dr. Drest's office was on the eighth floor. Again the same maze – black this time – led us there.
Wolf had had the decency to wait for me in front of the door that had disappeared in front of us at the precise moment we had arrived.
As the door turned solid again, Dr. Drest said "Come on in Faith. Sit down and make yourself comfortable." She was petite, certainly in her late twenties. She had brown eyes and long black hair. She was wearing a white shirt.
She had stood while greeting me and I had sat down on the only chair in front of her desk. Her office was the traditional white, there was an auscultation chair covered with protective paper in the middle of the room and next to it there was a tray with sterile surgical tools : scalpels, tweezers, gauze, compresses, suture scissors, bandage scissors, a plaster knife, plaster shears, an antiseptic and surgical gloves coming out of a box. I knew all their names. Odd. The smell in this room was surgically tainted too: bleach mixed with a scent similar to the interior of a new car. I tensed at the memory of such a scent.
"I'll be with you in a moment." she added seemingly hiding behind her three-screened computer. The only personal touch in her office was the photo of a soldier in his uniform, in a wooden frame – half facing her.
He must be in his thirties, tall, black hair, good-natured even though he wasn't smiling.
Her fiancé maybe?
She was the total opposite of Stern: warm, calm and patient.
I didn't know what Dr. Drest was doing in a place like this; she seemed smart and reasonable enough. Why would she agree to be the silent witness of my imprisonment?
She stopped typing and started "Thank you for your patience. The paperwork is really the worst part of the job." She smiled.
"I'm Doctor Drest and I'm in charge of your case. Everything you say here is confidential.
I have to report your alteration progress but do not hesitate to ask any question you might have. If there is anything I can help you with, I will."
She went on "I see Ms. Stern has scheduled an everyday meeting at nine thirty sharp. So we will meet here as asked. This medical examination consists of three parts, an anamnesis – questions about your physical health or any problem, inconvenience you might experience after surgery – a medical examination per say – like cleaning your surgical wound, and, finally, I was asked to analyze your chip data on a daily basis. As you know all the altered subjects are implanted with a chip. You might not feel them, but you have stitches at the base of your skull. If it's itchy, it's always a good sign. It means that you are healing properly. We're going to remove these today but don't worry, you won't feel anything. This chip is transmitting information to my computer, about your health and the progress you might observe towards alteration."
I couldn't stop myself from moving my right hand to touch the area she was talking about when she hastened to add "Please don't. I will examine you in a moment. Your pulse seems even, blood pressure is okay, blood tests are good: you're in perfect health.
But I see here that you've had a seizure already. How are you feeling now?"
As I was not answering she explained "We name seizure any time lapse when your body stops functioning normally, with a shift in your neurological activity.
The causes may be several: pain, aneurysm, embolism or in your case alteration may be one of them."
"I know what a seizure is…" I answered, looking at my hands.
"Can you tell me what happened when you woke up?" she asked.
I looked at her suspiciously. "You mean when I had these splitting headaches, so strong I couldn't move?"
She immediately retorted "Was it what it felt like? Headaches? On a scale of one to ten, one being slight and ten being persistent agonizing pain, how would you rate these headaches?"
I didn't know what to say, she appeared to be really concerned about my discomfort. But she was with them. "I don't know...a nine?"
She went on "I see... Do you know what started them?" She was taking notes on her computer.
At that moment I lost my patience "What about you asshole surgeons operating on me without my consent?"
After two seconds, she asked "What did you say?"
"You heard me! You did this to me, you and your superhero team. So tell me how to get rid of these migraines and give me my life back."
She looked dumbfounded "You mean you didn't volunteer?"
"Volunteer? Are you kidding me? Do you think I would volunteer to be a guinea pig?"
"Well, I don't know what to say...I…" she was stammering.
"Have a look at your file and check your Intel! I think you might be missing the reasons of my being here. I didn't know kidnapping and torturing were parts of your job description!"
She looked at me almost apologetically.
"I'm sorry Faith, I didn't know. This procedure is quite unusual. I'll check into it, I promise you. Now, please don't forget that I'm here to help you. I'll do everything in my power for you to feel that I'm trustworthy."
For a moment she looked sincere and I almost allowed myself to believe that I could confide in her. But this new sign of kindness was too much: my judgment was clouded by two different emotions – sadness and anger. My heart constricted.
Without being able to hold them back, tears were slowly sliding down my cheeks. I quickly erased the proof of my weakness with the palm of my right hand.
She looked away for a second and then said "if you agree I would like to examine you now and remove your stitches, you will feel more comfortable."
She stood up at my nod, walked to the other end of the room and washed her hands above the sink close to the auscultation chair. She took a pair of gloves and faced me again, putting them on. "Please sit down here, facing the wall behind me."
I turned around to monitor her movements.
She had prepared tweezers, a pair of scissors and was spreading some liquid – the antiseptic certainly – on the compresses.
I quickly faced the wall again.
"Could you hold your hair for me and look down?"
I had no other choice than to do as I was told.
"Okay, perfect. The wound is not infected. I'll clean the area first and then remove the stitches. Stay still."
After a freezing cold sensation, I could feel her pull the stitches but it was as she had promised, painless. She listened to my heart and lungs, took my blood pressure even if I was sure my chip was exactly measuring every single detail of my bodily functions. Then I was back in my chair, muted.
"You will find everything you need in your bathroom cupboard for your monthly period, antiseptic too. Apply it once more tonight. It will do. We'll meet here tomorrow, same time, same place."
As she wasn't adding anything else, I stood up, ready to leave when she tried to say something.
"Faith…I…There are some great people here. You will get used to our way of living. Don't worry."
How long are they going to keep me here? I don't want to get used to it, I didn't ask for any of it in the first place! How many times do I have to explain this? I left without turning around and exited into the hall.
"You must be hungry. Let me take you to the dining room." Kellan had startled me out of my mental prison.
Why couldn't they ask Maggy to escort me back? I started following him without saying anything.
I'll never remember my way out of here…all these thoughts were appearing in my head. I offended Jared, now I had to put up with his brother? This couldn't be good.
I still didn't know what to think of Kellan. He hadn't harmed me –yet –but he was with them, with Stern – my abductor. We had arrived in front of the elevator. He was facing me, looking at me intensely. I did the same for I wouldn't look down, not in front of him, not in front of anyone. Our eyes seemed to have a mind of their own, wanting to remain that way.
"Let's go." he finally said as he was the first to break our stares, entering the elevator.
We both remained silent. But it didn't seem to bother him. It wasn't a strained silence we had lapsed into. It seemed we were just gauging each other's reaction.
I recognized the floor number: twelve. At least he had brought me where he had said he would.
He was going out of the elevator now, leaving me alone. When he suddenly turned around, came back to me and whispered "Nice punch by the way" and left for good this time.
All I could see next was Jeanne, meeting him with a broad smile and blood lust in her eyes.
I stayed several seconds longer in the elevator to catch my breath, too preoccupied to notice the new decoration the dining-room had endured.
As I was approaching Maggy's table, I went past Jeanne's.
Kellan totally ignored me, letting me wonder what he had meant a few minutes before. Mocking me for sure. Well, I couldn't care less about his opinion.
"Hey Faith, how has it been?" Maggy asked, facing Ben and Toby.
Neither Jared nor Wolf were around. Good.
"Okay I guess."
When she heard I wasn't going on, she looked at me with encouraging eyes.
"Doctor Drest was nice. I'm healing properly…" I added.
"Well, that's good news!" Toby replied enthusiastically.
I smiled shyly. "May I sit down?" I further tried.
"Of course, I saved this seat for you. But you must be starving, let me show you the buffet first…" Maggy said, suddenly standing.
"If I were you, I wouldn't try these greenish little things, they taste like dirt…" said Ben.
"Duly noted!" I smiled again, and followed Maggy.
"Everything is fresh and the menu varies every week. This week's theme is fusion cooking. Try these, they're delicious" Maggy continued pointing at some purple and brown toast in display.
"Alright" I answered hesitantly.
"Nice entrance by the way…" she said.
"What..?" I didn't know what she had meant.
"I saw you come in with Kellan…I'm not the only one… You should have seen Jeanne's face when she spotted you two together…She was green with envy."
"I…He was asked to escort me to the dining room… It's really not what you think…Anyway, he ran back to her as soon as we arrived…"
"She wishes…" Maggy added.
"I don't understand…"
"Jeanne's been after the twins for as long as I can recall. She even dated Jared for a while apparently. It was before my arrival. But she will never have what she wants from Kellan, I promise you."
"Not that I'm interested but …how do you know?" I asked, curious of her answer.
"Look at him…"
I risked a furtive glance.
"He doesn't seem at all interested in what she is saying" she continued. "Plus, I'm a people person, I can feel those things…"
"I believe you" I said half-mockingly, filling my plate with different pieces of toast of very strange colors.
Time was flying by with those three. They were always talking about light matters, not at all preoccupied by anything important.
I learned that they had been recruited by Jeanne or the twins but that they had accepted the offer voluntarily. No one had forced them. They assured me they were here because they wanted to.
However no one seemed willing to talk about their past.I still didn't understand what had made them choose this path or why they had been selected.
We agreed to meet tonight, after dinner, eaten every evening in our apartment. Movie night they had suggested.
It should be fun, though I haven't seen any TV... I was wondering, when Wolf cut me off.
"Lunch is over. We have to go."
"Isn't it the valiant Wolf in his armor? Ready for another battle I see…" said Ben.
When I saw Wolf tense without bothering to answer, I knew I had to go. "Well guys, see you tonight, then?" I asked then added "Wait, where do we meet?"
"Don't worry, I'll wait for you in front of your apartment. But we all live on the same floor, so now you know" Maggy finished. "Let's say at seven?"
"Perfect. See you…" And I was on Wolf's tail once more.
"Where are we going?" I was trying to start the conversation in between floors.
"You will attend a presentation then start training."
Great! I hate going to the gym!
Fortunately our movie night was something to look forward to.
The elevator was still moving up instead of down when it stopped on the third floor.
"Follow me." Wolf went on.
As if I had anywhere else to go!
We took a left, then another one and again. These halls were once more very similar to Stern's but with another reigning color, they were a light yellow. The odor – a mix of sweat and dust – was making me sick. Fortunately the air conditioning was on. I was trying to control my breathing when Wolf abruptly stopped.
"In here…" he said as I was invited to enter a faintly lighted office.
There was a large table in the middle and some chairs encircling it. I looked around, there was no other entrance and the door that had let me in had already disappeared.
Shouldn't I wait for someone before sitting down? There was still no one so I randomly opted for a chair, waiting for some human company, in vain.
Two seconds later, the table disappeared to be replaced by an impressive three-D image, displaying Stern with a similar suit to the one I had seen her with on my first day here.
"Welcome to Stern Corporation and congratulations for you have chosen to fight with us and make a difference…" Her mellifluous voice was echoing strongly through the silent office.
Chosen? Yeah, right!
"Wars, terrorism, pollution, diseases, global warming…our world is drawing to an end."
Her face had faded away and had been replaced by horrible images – nuclear plants destroyed, men burning because of radiations, dying because of floods, or draught.
"But your decision will affect the course of your life, and save humanity from desolation. Stern Corporation is our only hope."
Is this a joke? Is this how she was fooling them all? You must be kidding me…
"You being here means you have passed stage one, you survived alteration surgery. This was no mere luck. Life has selected you to protect it. In the following weeks, you will learn to focus, meditate and control your gift…"
I could see a map of Stern Corporation now, its twelve floors, the layout of halls mirroring letters S and C, intertwined like a serpent and its prey.
"On the first floor you will find my office and…The building is equipped with two elevators…"
Each floor was clearly indicated on this virtual map that had formed in front of me, following her exact course of explanation. I could almost touch it.
"You will find four emergency exits with diving equipment on each floor. In case of emergency, a red light will appear and you will be asked to dive to the surface…"
I had almost forgotten we were in the ocean. But I've never learned to dive…
"You were assigned a particular physician that you will meet daily. Your chip is another safety measure that will allow us to give you the best possible care. Your physician will answer any question you might still have concerning you medical status."
Sure, sure… How am I supposed to trust them when they have implanted a foreign object in my brain?
"You will observe a daily program, with exercises aimed at improving you physically and mentally…Your diet will be balanced as well, to increase your abilities…"
I was half-listening to her now. All these rules? Welcome to the Army!
Virtual Stern was back now. "Once again, thank you for your commitment. You're already a hero."
Yeah, right!
Brighter lights were turned on and sliding doors formed on my left.
Time to leave I guess.
But when I saw Wolf waiting for me in the hall, my heart constricted.
Why was I feeling disappointed?
We had arrived in front of my training room on the fourth floor.
Once more Wolf left me alone, this time in an almost naked square room. No mirror, no treadmill nor bike? The wooden floor felt soft under my soles.
How do they expect me to train in here?
"Welcome Faith."
My heart had missed a beat and I jumped of fright. The image of a well-built man in his thirties had formed in front of me. My green-eyed, brown-haired and tanned Californian-looking virtual trainer would certainly be Maggy's type.
"Welcome to your focus training, day one. My name is Danian. We are going to work together. Your commitment to this program is essential if you wish to succeed and improve your skills. Please be seated at the center of the room. Our first series of exercises will help you find the best meditation technique suited to your needs. Kick off your shoes and sit down..."
As I had nothing better to do, I followed Danian's instructions.
"In Yoga, you need to follow what is called an asana or posture. The first one is depicted like this; legs crossed, hands on thighs, index fingers and thumbs touching. This posture will help you focus and breathe more freely…"
Thank God I'm wearing trousers!
"…It is used to open your energy channels, chakras and body psychic centers. Breathe in, exhales, find your own rhythm…In, out, in, out…"
How difficult could this be?
"Focus on your body, your hair, ears…"
Focus? What does he think I'm trying to do?
"You feel relaxed and calm, you are ready to find your inner strength. You feel invincible…"
Yeah, right…
"Don't open your eyes, please. Listen to my voice and my voice only…"
Oh boy, it's going to be a long afternoon…
After what felt like a decade, I finally received the authorization to move.
"Thank you for your cooperation. We'll practice some more tomorrow, same time, same place…"
"Wait, where am I supposed to go?" I asked, standing and stretching. But Danian had already disappeared.
There was still no visible door nor possible way out. I was stuck here.
I was growing impatient, what stupid exercises would they find next? I started knocking on the wall.
"Guys? Anyone? Can you hear me?"
The room was suddenly dark and I could hear a female voice. Stern's?
"Please, sit down."
Sit down? Where?
A lighted square was growing out of the floor. I obeyed.
"You're going to experience another meditation practice. This time I will ask you to remember as many images as possible."
In front of me I could see pink and yellow butterflies flying around, a rainbow, a field, a ladybug …It was amazing. All these images seemed so real, their color so vivid. But whenever I tried to touch them, they would evaporate.
A river moving under my feet, a bridge in front of me, and fish jumping out of the water, and on the river bank a gun…
A gun? Have I really seen this?
A day at the park, trees, birds singing and a dog playing with a bone.
A hand? Was it a hand it was holding? Impossible…
A pecan pie on a picnic blanket,children on a playground, playing…
Crying and screaming?
I didn't know what this exercise was but it was staring to freak me out, I could hear my heart pounding hard in my chest.
A tree, a child holding a kite and…
A knife? A bloody knife? What the fuck? Please make them stop, it's not funny at all.
I couldn't watch any longer.
"Please keep your eyes open and remember as many images as possible."
"Fuck you! Let me out of here! Now!"
I kept my eyes closed until I was sure no other landscape was flashing by in front of me.
"Thank you for your cooperation. We'll practice some more tomorrow, same time, same place…"
"Fuck you!" I repeated again to the female voice. I stood up and a door appeared on my right. I exited the evil room.
I looked left then right. Wolf was nowhere near me. I was furious.
Stay calm? Cooperate? Fuck them, this is too weird. I took a left and walked fast. I wasn't going to let them use me.
I started shouting in the void "I'm out of here! Do you hear me? I'm leaving!"
I was running now, evacuating all the tension, anger and frustration I had felt. I arrived at the end of the hallway and stopped. The hall divided into three other hallways of equal dimension. I didn't know which one to take. I opted for the path in front of me. I started running again.
There was no end to this path, no door, no elevator.
Shit! It was too late to go back, so I continued walking. "Get me to Stern! Right now!" I shouted once more.
The gloomy lights around me were giving me the creeps, the only sound; my steps resonating through these endless halls.
Lights were getting still fainter in here. I went back to running again, faster this time until I realized, looking back, that there was a shadow following me. So I ran, faster and faster, I needed to get this dark silhouette away from me or I would die, I knew it.
I risked looking behind me one more time, the shadow had gone. I could slow down now, I needed to. But my feet weren't responding anymore.
I kept on running faster and faster, when I saw the same shadow now in front of me, this shadow was looking at me and I was going straight to it. I screamed.
"Wake up now! Wake up!"
I could feel someone shaking me, holding my arms. "Don't touch me!"
Wolf seemed relieved to hear me protest, his hard facial expression softening at the sound of my voice.
"What happened?" I asked him.
"I found you here, on your knees, screaming with your eyes shut."
"I…There was no one here when I got out of the training room…I don't understand…"
"For God's sake…Jared…Jared is here, come on, stand up."
"How do you know he's here?"
"Let's get out of here or we'll both be caught in one of his nightmares…"
I followed Wolf's lead and didn't dare ask him for any further explanation…Was it his gift? Frightening people? In that case I understood why he was taken on missions…
Wolf left me in front of my apartment. I was still trembling with anxiety.
How could Jared do such a thing? Why wasn't I able to respond after my alteration?
I needed to find a way to fight back and fast if I wanted to survive in here… Maybe Maggy would be able to help? I would need to ask her tonight.
As I was trying to calm my nerves in my entrance hall, I noticed new elements in my interior.
Next to my door I could see an electronic board projected on the wall with an activity description.
My timetable?
It read:
26th April 9'30 Dr. Drest,
10'30 - 12'30: meditation 1,
2 - 5 p.m. meditation 2
27th April 9'30 Dr. Drest,
10'30 - 12'30: meditation 1,
2 - 5 p.m. meditation 2
26th April? I must have lost track of time. When was I last in New Orleans? Almost two weeks ago…Stern was right. How is it possible? And they don't have regular boards in here? Paper or forget-me-nots? I needed to get used to this new communication technology.
At least they couldn't be held responsible for destroying the Amazon rainforest I thought.
I wish I had a clock, it would be so much easier...
A circle appeared out of nowhere. Once again it was a black projection, but this time of a clock.
Okay, this is freaking me out now. How did they know I wanted the time? Am I being watched? I looked around still feeling uncomfortable and on the verge of losing my mind.
Everything is okay, everything is okay, you're okay.
I had found my familiar position in the corner of the room, rocking my body against the wall and biting my fingers, breathing in and out the dusty air of my apartment.
Move, now! Do it! You can't stay here all night. You can't…AndI went to the bathroom to get prepared.
I opened the door to see Maggy's refreshing smile.
"Ready to party?" she asked.
"Are we going to dance as well? I'm not dressed properly…" I asked smiling back.
"Ooooh Faith, we really need to do something about this style of yours…dancing or no dancing…" Ben said laughing.
"Why are you laughing?" I was looking at my outfit; a pair of jeans, a red V-neck shirt with sneakers. It was comfortable and easy-going at the same time…I didn't see what Ben had meant.
"Never mind, let's go!" added Toby.
We were walking nonchalantly to Ben's apartment and for the first time in years, I felt like I was fitting in.
This feeling didn't last long, for, a second later, in front of us, I saw Jeanne, wearing a gorgeous black dress, high heels, hair up and sparkling earrings with matching gloves.
She was walking with Jared on one side and …Kellan on the other.
The three of them were heading towards us. It was obvious they were in for a good time.
Why did they need to be overdressed and gorgeous all the time? Jared had a triumphant dark smile on his face while approaching us. I was determined to ignore them more than ever.
But Ben stopped suddenly and a door appeared on our right.
Inside he had some vintage music on.
I knew the artist, Birdy's words were resonating through his apartment: "Can you hear when I say I have never felt this way…"
They all entered.
I was about to follow my friends into Ben's dream premises when I turned around and looked back.
Kellan was looking straight at me. For a moment time seemed suspended as I was staring back at him with the same intensity.
Then he disappeared, leaving me blushing with my pulse racing, heartbeat resonating in my ears.
"That is quite a museum you have here." I said to Ben, trying to forget what had just happened.
All around me were radios, paintings, picture frames and ash trays, all from the 70's. His condo looked like a cottage by the sea, the walls naked to the brick on some parts, painted in pale green on others, with a beautiful view, white candles leaving a vanilla scent and the sound of seagulls flying in the sunset.
"Well it's a pale imitation of my childhood beach house, or at least what I would have wanted it to be like if I had had one." he answered.
"But I thought your chip could only interpret real information…" I replied.
"I pictured it…my apartment… saw some parts in my favorite magazines… Real enough to me." Ben smiled.
"What would happen if I jumped down?" I asked, looking over his balcony. Was all this real?
"Your mind would interpret it like a real fall. We're not really that high, but high enough for you to get hurt."
I didn't want to check his theory.
"What do you want to watch tonight, Faith?" asked Maggy.
"Whatever you want, you can choose..."
"Ready for an epic night?" asked Toby.
"What do you have in mind?" I didn't know what he had meant.
"Well, it's a tradition of ours to have at least one movie of each genre every month…" Ben started.
"Sci Fi movies? Really…" I said as he had given me a DVD.
"The Sci Fi movie to be exact. You will love this one…"
I could read Avatar on the cover.
"It's a classic…" Ben continued.
"Alright" I didn't dare refuse. "Is your DVD player vintage as well?" I asked openly making fun of him.
"Oh don't worry about it…" Maggy winked at me.
"Please be seated" Ben indicated a cream colored sofa in the middle of the room, but there was no screen in front of it, just his picture window.
"I…"
"Sit down" said Toby. "Trust me…"
I sat down not knowing what to expect and Ben followed two seconds afterwards.
Ben's living-room darkened to form shades of black and grey. I could hear the voices and sense the smell, smoke, dirt and filth of the city where people were advancing…I could hear footsteps.
I saw a man – his body kept in the dark – struggling, in his wheelchair, struggling with his life.
It felt so real…
CHAPTER 4 –
Cloudy Judgement
Time was passing by slowly here, each day boringly resembling the previous one.
The only prospect I had was movie night on Fridays – at Maggy, Toby or Ben's. But I had to confess Ben's apartment had been the most impressive one. He had a lot of imagination, you could grant him that.
Maybe it wasn't the only thing I was waiting for…
Kellan hadn't escorted me anymore and our random encounters were engraved on me as the most embarrassing moments ever.
I had even bumped into him some days before. I was talking to Maggy, looking back at her and going for the elevator at the same time – big mistake. Sorry… was all I had been able to say.
He hadn't even bothered speaking to me. But I had felt his fingers on my arms, he had held me, to prevent me from falling again.
I knew I needed to stop thinking about it. I really did and it would pass like the rest.
I was spending my day with Wolf now. He had never even tried to start a conversation though.
I was also getting used to watching violent images.
Through meditating with Danian, I had learned how to control my fear.
Moreover I had remained myself. Their brainwashing wasn't working on me at all.
Nothing had been altered in my personality or physical condition either.
They said powers could still awake but it had been more than six weeks since my surgery and still nothing. I couldn't run like Ben nor hunt like Wolf. What was I still doing here then? I was wondering… Should I worry about it?
Doctor Drest sure had enough confidence for us both.
It was the closest relationship I had to friendship here. I had grown fond of Maggy and Ben too but they were still so young. While Toby had been the most distant of them three, Doctor Drest was like the big sister I had never had. I had learned the man in the photo was her brother, who had died in Iraq. She had known grief and loss too. She had told me she was seeing someone who understood it as well. I was wondering who he was…
She also seemed genuinely worried about my well-being here. She had stood up for me on several occasions, asking Stern why I had been forced on being here the first place. But she had been kept in the dark and promised she would go on investigating. How? I didn't know…But I had slowly started to trust her.
"Listen. Change of plans for today." She had caught my attention. "Miss Stern has asked me to try another approach.
As it has been weeks now and the expected effects of alternation haven't shown on you yet, I was asked to inject you with this."
"What is it?" I asked inspecting the vial filled with pinkish liquid.
"It is a powerful serum that will reveal your powers. Or at least I hope it will…"
"Are you hoping or are you sure?"
"I can't predict it will be efficient a hundred per cent. But it contains adrenalin and will hopefully have the expected effect on you."
When she saw I didn't react, she added "I'm not planning on forcing you to take it. If you don't want to, I'll tell Stern we changed our mind…"
"I don't trust Stern, but I trust you. If you tell me it can help, I say let's have a shot…" I smiled.
"Alright then. Sit down on the auscultation chair. I'll be with you in a minute."
I was calmly watching her prepare a syringe and the vial on a sterile green piece of cloth.
I had never been fond of needles but I knew we had run out of options. I didn't want to stay here even though I slowly started to feel at ease. What other way than developing powers did I have to get the hell out? Moreover without powers, my utility in Stern's eyes would clearly diminish, and what would they do with me then?
"Still sure?" Doctor Drest asked. I nodded. "Okay." she finally said.
I felt a small pinch at the precise spot where she was injecting me with the serum.
I waited.
Nothing.
I wasn't dizzy or sick. I was still myself.
"I don't think it worked, I'm not feeling…" I stopped talking as a surge of dread quickly filled my veins, and arteries – my whole body.
My heart started hammering, faster and faster, it was ready to explode in my chest and acute pain was blurring my vision. I started shaking.
"I…." I uttered.
I fell on the floor when I could hear a female voice calling my name, checking my eyes with her small torch. And suddenly, it stopped.
The pain had disappeared.
I could still feel my pulse racing but I sensed that I could try to slowly open my eyes now. So I did.
In front of me, a blurred vision of Stern, wearing her white cloak was openly laughing at me.
"I see you're still a useless little cunt. Well it's time we got rid of you …" she said sniggering at the same time.
Uncontrollable rage took over. She needed to be dealt with, she was the reason I was trapped – imprisoned – here, the enemy to destroy.
When I violently kicked her, I saw surprise in her eyes. I then hit her face and she heavily fell on the floor, further knocking her head.
"You gave me no choice. No one did." I stripped her of her cloak and put it on.
I needed to act quickly.
I supposed the best way to get out of the premises would be to take the elevator and get rid of everyone in one way or another.
I knew Wolf would be waiting behind the door. I needed to put him down first. I glanced back at the tray and was getting closer to grab the syringe when I felt someone behind me. Acute pain shot up my skull, my ears started buzzing and a hundred stars blurred my vision. I blacked out.
When I regained consciousness, my head was aching, once more.
I was sitting on some metallic floor, my hands tied to each other and further to a rope inserted in a metal ring above my head.
Restrains again? Nothing new, I thought as I recalled the events following my arrival here.
What …? Why did I land here?
I couldn't see anything and I didn't know where they had taken me. This room didn't seem familiar and I couldn't distinguish anything because of its reigning darkness.
The only thing I remember was being with Dr. Drest. What happened then?
I could taste blood in my mouth. The metallic smell had even invaded my nose and my tongue. My head was spinning sporadically at first then it became so strong and lasting that I didn't know if it was the room or my body that was suffering unbalance.
I threw up the meager breakfast my now empty stomach had had that morning.
It felt like my body was enveloped in cotton. I couldn't feel my legs, my eyelids were so heavy.
A concussion. You need to stay awake. I had never suffered from it before but somehow my mind knew what it was.
I was almost dropping off when an intense light woke me up instantly. The door frame. I thought.
"You badly injured one of my best doctors.
We have your best interests at heart, trust me, but there are rules to follow here. You gave me no choice but to restrain you."
Hearing her voice sent electric shocks throughout my body. What was she talking about? What did I do? I was now fully awake.
Ms. Stern was, once more, accompanied by her two acolytes, Jeanne was still wearing her devilish smile and her black gloves. Jared was looking at me with murderous eyes.
"I am so disappointed. Why did you attack Doctor Drest?" she asked me.
"I…I don't remember attacking her…I can't have touched her, she is my friend…I swear…"
I was trying to understand what had happened. It couldn't be…Was this another trick to manipulate me? But what if I had really hurt Naome?
"What are we going to do with you? Alteration hasn't worked on you obviously… It wasn't supposed to end like this. I'm usually never wrong…" Stern said.
"Wait, is Dr. Drest okay? Can I see her?" I pleaded.
"Let me teach her a lesson" Jeanne suggested with her French accent.
"No, let me..." finished Jared as he was already getting near me. "She owes me one…" he said, turning around to face Stern, asking for her approval.
I knew he would want his revenge, but I didn't know it would happen in such circumstances.
The only thing that could save me was buying some time. I didn't think I could survive another blow.
"Hitting a defenseless girl? Well, that's playing fair…" I muttered.
"You know what you're talking about. You're everything but defenseless. I'll show you what it feels like to be humiliated in front of an audience." Jared finally said.
When no word came out of Stern's mouth, I knew I had lost. So much for "Let's be more humane" bullshit!
Jared was already squeezing his left hand into a fist. I wouldn't beg for mercy, not to these people. I was praying silently that he would be quick, so I could see my parents again.
"No!" I heard. Kellan had barged into the room. "Let me handle this," he said turning to Stern.
Kellan? What are you doing here?
He went on more composed now "You know how long it took me to feel at home here. Let's give her the benefit of the doubt. And I think I can help her."
Of course Jared wouldn't give up on me so easily. "If you think you can tame her Kellan, you're more delusional than I thought."
Kellan continued as if he hadn't been cut off.
"You know I'm right. If you let Jared see this through, you will lose what might be your best asset here. It will also be a waste of your time and money. You won't convince her to keep on cooperating by using violence."
"Kellan, it's none of your …" Jeanne was now trying to turn the conversation to her advantage.
"She's had enough." he finally said, pretending not to have heard her.
"I'm not so sure, Kellan…" It was Stern this time, with her frigid voice.
Why would she even listen to him?
I didn't understand why he had come here in the first place.
"Let me supervise and train her. I'll make sure she poses no threat. And once she's ready, you can decide what you want to do with her." Kellan added.
After what felt like an eternity, Stern answered "I hope for your sake you're right. If you're not, you'll both pay the price. Untie her and accompany her back to her quarters. From now on you'll be responsible for her every move…"
"But…"
"Do not contradict me, Jeanne. I made my decision. Let's go." She turned around and exited the room, followed by Jeanne who gave me a look of disgust just before turning on her heels.
Jared hadn't moved an inch. He was staring at his brother stiffed with icy rage. Kellan was staring back, in a mute challenge to duel.
I knew I was far away from being out of trouble and panic took the best of me. I felt like a wild bird locked up in a cage too small to even spread its wings. I was bending forward, trying to put all my weight on my restraints, a desperate attempt to control the situation, but nothing worked to calm me down.
Kellan was standing in front of me.
I could trust him, couldn't I?
But how could I know he had told the truth and he wouldn't try to get rid of me anyway?
Why would he even bother helping me?
He took a knife out of his left pocket.
Seeing Jared smiled again, I closed my eyes and attempted to calm my nerves, I wouldn't face death fearful if the time had come.
When I sensed Kellan close to me, when I felt his hand still my arms, I felt his warmth and calm rushed through my body. I wasn't scared anymore. I was ready. Ready for what was next for me.
I was surprised to feel my knees touch the ground.
When I looked up, I saw Jared eyeing his brother furiously.
Kellan was now helping me up, holding my body. He put my arm around his neck and took my hand in his. His arms were muscular and protective. He didn't even seem to mind my smell, which must have been acrid. He had probably guessed I wouldn't be able to walk.
We were both moving forward.
I didn't say anything, afraid he might still change his mind.
Jared was blocking the only way out. When we were both facing him, he said "This isn't over, K. She will pay for what she has done."
"Drop it Jared. We don't know for sure."
What the hell are they talking about?
"Fuck off!" he replied violently, then disappeared into the hall, leaving us both behind.
My condition was slowing us down but I had to admit I was in no hurry to go back to my room. Now that I knew he had never intended to hurt me, being in Kellan's arms was the only place where I had felt safe since my arrival. I was stumbling every two steps but he hadn't failed to hold me even tighter every time, to prevent me from falling down and getting hurt. I had never trusted anyone this way and it scared me, maybe even more than the knowledge of having no one to trust.
I could feel that the adrenalin hadn't left my cells yet – they were keeping it like a dry sponge retained water – my pulse was still racing and my head painfully throbbing.
When we left the elevator on the sixth floor, I whispered a few words "Th...Thank you."
"Don't thank me, we haven't reached your door yet."
"Your brother...if you hadn't stopped him... he would have…" The words seemed too difficult to pronounce even if fifteen minutes before I had been ready to accept the inevitable.
I was embarrassed at being so weak and fragile – and added stinking on my mental list.
"Naome is in a bad shape. He wanted you to feel the same, to experience what she's been through.
She is Jared's fiancée and one of the most decent people in here."
If I had felt ill-at-ease two minutes before, it was nothing compared to what I was feeling now.
"I'm so sorry I…I don't understand how…"
"I know" was all he added.
"Is she going to make it?" I asked deeply sorry.
"Yeah, she is. She is pretty shaken though. Stern says she doesn't recall what happened either…"
Had I messed up again? "I don't know if I can trust anyone, myself included."
"Well, trust your intuition. What does it tell you?"
This advice sounded vaguely familiar but I was too confused to even start thinking about it.
I let my mind rest on my walk instead and remained silent.
We had turned the last corner of the hall before arriving in front of my loft, when I saw Maggy, running to meet us.
Ben and Toby were still waiting in front of my bedroom.
"What happened?" she asked almost out of breath. "We waited for you at lunch and you never showed up." She seemed genuinely worried.
Getting closer she saw my bruised face and realized who was holding me.
She stepped back.
"I…" was all I could give as explanation.
"There was an incident and Wolf had to intervene." Kellan explained.
So it had been Wolf. I was wondering what he had used to knock me out. Well, maybe I had deserved it.
"Oh, Faith…" she replied. "What can I do?" she went on, her voice pleading.
"I...I guess I just need to rest for a while."
"I'll take it from here." she coldly addressed Kellan. "Toby, Ben, give me a hand here."
They arrived running. Ben was next to me in a second, indisputably faster than Toby.
Of course.
I sometimes forget about their ability.
"Seems that you could use a bath too…" said Ben, mockingly taking a step backward.
"Ben, not now. Take her to her bedroom and put her to bed." It was crystal clear as to who was in charge with those boys. The thought made me smile.
Kellan hadn't said anything else, he just removed his arm from my back and put mine around Ben's. Toby then took my other arm to hold me.
I had had to reluctantly let go of Kellan's warmth and strength to be led by two teenagers. But I felt drained and didn't have the courage to protest.
When Ben and Toby had practically been carrying me for what couldn't have been more than ten steps, I tried to turn around to see Kellan.
All I could see was emptiness. He had gone and I hadn't said anything.
Maggy must have interpreted my movement as a sign of panic, because she quickly said "hurry up, guys. She seems like she's going to pass out."
In front of my door, she tried to press the square button on the right side of the frame but as nothing happened, she added "Faith, we need your fingerprint. You must have enhanced security, I can't open the door."
Enhanced, how could I possibly have done that?
She saw at my puzzled face that I didn't know what she was talking about.
She interpreted my reaction rightly this time by adding almost with a pinch of regret in her voice "Your chip interprets all the data it receives. You must be blocking entrance to your room to people you don't trust."
I understood why she had sounded sad now.
I pressed my thumb on what seemed to be a different shade of gray.
The door opened immediately.
I found the apartment just as I had left it, intact like in my recollection.
They took me to my bedroom.
I was exhausted. I collapsed on my bed, not even bothering to remove my shoes.
"Thanks boys, you can go now." Maggy finished as she was undressing me slowly.
My struggle was over, I closed my eyes, wishing it had all been a nightmare.
"Faith...Faith…" a man was whispering in my right ear.
I tried to move my eyelids but they were too heavy.
"Faith, do you hear me? I'm not going to hurt you. I'm just checking up on you. Faith, do you trust me?"
Half awake and half asleep, I felt him touch my right arm under the blanket I had been covered with. I winced as a sharp pain shot through my arm.
What is he doing in my bedroom? I thought as darkness took me again.
I woke up peacefully, rested and focused on the task at hand: surviving. My mind had never been so clear, my body so responsive.
There was a bright light coming out of my window and I could hear birds singing.
I got up, in my underwear and opened the curtains. The view was breathtaking: a meadow full of poppies and behind them, the sun was a strong orange, ready to bright the day. Somehow this view seemed vaguely familiar, like in a distant dream.
The only disappointment lay in the knowledge I had that it was fake.
But my body didn't register anxiety nor gave way to it.
I decided to take a quick trip to my bathroom instead. I knew the way by heart.
When I entered, I quickly glanced at the mirror that was in front of me and I opened the tap – that was just under it – to splash some water on my face. I was happy to see that some things were still working the old way.
I glanced at my face more intently this time, sensing that something had changed. I just didn't know what. The only difference with yesterday was my reflection: no bruise, no bump, nor shadows under my eyes.
Then it hit me.
I had healed.
I looked at my wrists, no marks.
No headache, no soreness, no blood in my mouth either.
Strange.
How is it possible?
I had no time to dwell on it.
Escape plans were already forming in my head. This had gone too far.
I had to put an end to this insane experiment. I was ready to take them all on, Stern, Jared, Jeanne and everyone else standing in my way.
I was ready to do anything, I was ready to do everything.
But first I needed to freshen up.
I saw the familiar circular shape next to my mirror. I pressed it thinking of boots and a green shirt with matching pants.
Ten seconds later I was clean, dressed and leaving the bathroom.
I gave a last glance at the image of this most cherished place and my front door gave way to a sight I would have gladly avoided; Wolf giving me a gloomy look, waiting for me, his hands in his pockets, his back and his left shoe sole leaning on the wall opposite.
Yet another change: strangely and despite what had happened, I wasn't scared of him. I didn't care about him or what he might do to me. And he could know it. "My favorite person in the whole world. It's so great to see you." I swaggered about, greeting him sarcastically. I wasn't ready to admit it to him but I was also grateful for he had maybe stopped me in time.
I recognized surprise on his face, but as usual, he didn't say anything.
Instead he made a forty-five-degree turn and started leading the way to the entrance of the elevator.
After a five-minute walk to last corner of this lugubrious hall, I could distinguish the light of an open door at the end of it.
Still following Wolf, I kept up the pace to see what it was. He didn't seem to slow down, but on the contrary seemed to be in a hurry.
When I arrived near the bright frame, I slowly turned my head on the side to glance at what Wolf apparently wanted to avoid.
Then, I saw her.
With him.
Everything seemed to happen in slow motion as I was crushed by the vision of Jeanne's arms around Kellan, a grin on her face, when she turned around to look straight at me.
Kellan's hands were holding hers.
He seemed as surprised to see me as I was.
I quickly looked down and went on walking pretending nothing had happened.
I tried to speed up to catch up with my jailer.
Honestly, what was I expecting? He hadn't said anything, he had just bought some time so I could become Stern's puppet when I was ready. But Jeanne. That was what was bugging me the most, or was it? Why her? She was just so cruel and perfectly cold or coldly perfect (I was still hesitating between both). I couldn't picture them together without feeling disgusted.
I was walking even faster now, and entered the elevator, trying to leave behind what I had just witnessed. But I couldn't.
When I was inside, I risked a backward glance at the hall and saw Kellan.
He was running to us, calling my name, asking me to wait.
I pressed the button to go to the dining room and looked down again pretending I hadn't heard anything.
I didn't want to register Wolf's presence and apparently he didn't either for we were both looking at our feet, waiting for the elevator to come to a halt.
My reaction to what I had witnessed was embarrassing enough, let alone showing it to anyone, so I really appreciated his silence for once.
As soon as the doors turned translucent, I was ready to hurry down, hoping to meet Maggy and her crew when Wolf held my right arm tightly and said "I'll be waiting for you in thirty minutes to escort you for your doctor's appointment. Don't be late."
And he left me behind, aghast.
Trying to find my composure, I was slowly advancing in the dining room when I spotted Maggy at a table on the left. They were at least forty people in the dining room – staff members I barely recognized – eating and talking animatedly. The decoration was totally different from last time. The walls were a mix of apple green and white today, with vases full of lilies, on every table, spreading their smell everywhere – artificial smell. The windows were displaying wide grass plains – the picture that may emerge thinking about breakfast on a farmyard in the American Midwest.
When they saw me, all the conversations stopped, everyone turned around to observe me with contempt, making their chair legs grate the new metallic floor.
I had felt uncomfortable at the news of Naome's state, but I was dying from shame at that moment.
"Sit down with us Faith." Maggy's voice was defying everyone's silent protest.
"Hi Maggy, hi guys." I said.
I was thankful for her trust and fearless temper.
People started talking to each other again.
"You seem…different today" was the sentence Ben greeted me with.
"Nothing like beauty sleep" I added.
"Are you okay?" Maggy was still preoccupied by my health.
"I'm better, thanks."
"You were in such a bad shape yesterday. I was really afraid you wouldn't be able to walk anymore." she added.
"It seemed worse than it really was. Don't worry about me. But thanks for your help, you too guys."
"Strange, you don't even have any bruise left…" It was Toby this time, always noticing things he wasn't supposed to, I imagined.
"I'm a fast healer." I answered, sensing again what I had this morning – I was different.
Something must have happened, this fast healing process wasn't normal at all. Maybe this was it, the result of my alteration?
This would be convenient, as if nature itself had known I was clumsy.
I smiled inwardly.
I opted for a change of subject "What is with all the flowers? It wasn't at all decorated like this yesterday."
"Lilies are Dr. Drest's favorites" Toby broke off. "It's our way of telling her that we think about her."
I was mortified.
"I'm sure she will be better soon." Maggy was once more trying to reassure me.
As I was standing, Maggy looked at me quizzically, so I felt the need to explain "I'm starving, do you need anything?" but I had already left for the buffet without waiting for their answers.
Muffins and coffee? That would certainly cheer me up. I took a plate and was about to help myself when someone grabbed my left arm.
"We need to talk." It was Kellan, his voice icy cold, still holding my arm.
"Let go of me, I have nothing to say to you."
Why was I so angry? This was the guy who had saved me the night before. The least I could do was being polite. What was more, I was also short of friends for the moment.
But how could I be nice to the guy who was dating Jeanne? How could he be with her in the first place?
"Let's go!" Kellan was still holding me by the arm, now pulling me with him to the elevator. I was struggling but he was too strong. His grip tightened at each attempt of escaping him.
I saw Maggy standing, not knowing what to do. She too was now struggling, against Toby,
who was restraining her, holding her two arms and silencing her with an extremely dark look.
All this happened quickly, I could see people smiling at Kellan – certainly hoping for retaliation for what I had done to Naome. No one dared do anything, no one said a word. They were just staring contently at us, thinking that I deserved what Kellan had planned to make me endure.
Wolf was still guarding the elevator door.
Instead of remaining silent like he used to, he was the only one who said something while gripping Kellan's free wrist "I was asked to escort her."
Not seemingly alarmed by this, Kellan simply answered "Not anymore. Check it with Stern."
Of all the people present in the dining room, Wolf was the only one eyeing Kellan furiously. But I had this strong feeling that it had nothing to do with me.
Kellan released me when we were alone in the elevator.
"Stop fighting everyone who wants to help!" he said out of breath, almost angrily.
"Why don't you run back to creepy blondie and leave me alone?" Maybe I wasn't strong enough to fight him but I wouldn't let him treat me like this.
"How are you feeling?" he asked out of the blue.
I was caught off guard by his question but I was determined to make it difficult for him. I opted for the silence treatment.
"Answer my question."
"Why do you want to know?" I asked.
"Just answer the damn question."
"I'm fine, why?" I answered, as furious as he was.
"I'm responsible for your training, I need to know when we can start."
He wanted to beat the hell out of me, possibly, but I sensed this wasn't the only reason.
"We'll begin right after your appointment then."
The door melted away and I realized I hadn't paid attention to the floor number while exiting the elevator but I recognized the color on the walls.
Kellan kept on talking while leading the way.
"You will have the same routine every day: breakfast at nine, appointment with Professor Bochi at nine-thirty, then training till lunch time. In the afternoon, we'll train your fighting skills. We'll finish every day with one hour swimming. You will have to do what I say when I say it or I'll let my brother do whatever the hell he wants to do to you. Understood?"
I nodded.
"Do you have any question?"
"No Sir!" I replied, mocking him.
"Then go on, it's the second room on the right. I'll be waiting for you right here."
"Wait, I do have a question. How is Naome? Is she better? Can I see her?" I asked seriously this time.
"She is being debriefed at the moment. Jared should be next to see her."
"If you talk to her, will you tell her that I'm sorry?"
I still didn't recall what I had done to Naome, but one thing was certain, I sorely missed her. And with that request, I hesitantly approached the star shape on the right and glanced at Kellan, unsure of where I was supposed to push.
He nodded.
Brown-eyed gray-haired Professor Bochi was in his sixties. He seemed serious and cold – in the exact image of his hostess. At least it was what he looked like in the photos all over his office walls – posing with men in suits, and other men in white I didn't recognize.
But he wasn't alone in his office. A beautiful assistant was present, apparently to brighten his days or his mood for she hadn't stopped smiling since I entered. "Please sit down, Professor Bochi will be with you in a minute…" she said from her white desk.
I sat down on the brown sofa in front of her.
This office was huge and made of three smaller rooms all linked to each other by tinted glass. Each wall was decorated with three brown stripes separating bigger beige ones.
Professor Bochi's secretary was everything you would expect a secretary to be; blonde, manicured and wearing a beige suit matching her surroundings. I noticed her earphone displayed a green light when she subsequently added "He's ready for you. First room."
I stood up and followed her instructions. The glass panel disappeared when I faced it, entirely opening the space in front of me.
"Please sit down on the auscultation chair." The door turned opaque again.
Professor Bochi was giving his orders without even looking at me. "I'll start with your wound."
I could see and hear him put on protective gloves from the leather chair. The tools were exactly the same as in Doctor Drest's office.
"You're in for disappointment, there is nothing left." I said.
"Let me see that for myself, will you?" And with this last remark, he silenced me totally for the rest of the appointment. He put on surgical gloves like Naome had done for the past weeks and started his checkup.
"I see" was all he said after checking my head.
"Did you have any other scar that might have disappeared as well?"
"No…" was all I replied.
"Any more headaches?"
"Not since I was hit on the head, no" I was now openly making fun of him but he stayed impassive.
"Yes, your chip recorded acute pain. Did you receive any medication yesterday, painkillers, in any form whatsoever?"
"You mean pills?"
"Yes, that, or injections?"
"Not that I recall…" Saying this, I spontaneously flexed my right arm.
It had to mean something for Professor Bochi immediately checked it, turning my hand from left to right and vice versa. He used the same procedure with the left one and finished this checkup by saying
"Well, it's inconclusive for the moment but ...you could be our next healer."
I could be what?
My question remained unanswered as Professor Bochi was now pointing at a chair in front of his desk. "That will be it. Please have a seat over there."
I felt uncomfortable in this cold, modern chair, waiting for this stranger to analyze me some more.
"As you are well aware, we are to meet every day at the same time, to register any alteration in your condition. Your chip is still sending information that I can use, so if there is any major modification, I will know it."
"Did my chip record anything on the day I was with Doctor Drest?" I asked him.
"That will be it. You may go now."
Who did he think he was? What I wouldn't do to have Naome in front of me again…
I was in a hurry to get out of here. I just stood up and left without pronouncing a single sound, going across the protective glass, accelerating while passing the secretary who fixed me with her beatific smile.
This whole experience had been unpleasant like every single one of them since I had arrived at this facility.
This was a real nightmare and I hoped I would wake up soon, having had my share of insanity and humiliation for a lifetime.
I found Kellan where I had left him. My face must have betrayed me for he had the courtesy of asking me about the appointment. "Everything okay?"
"I don't want to talk about it" I answered blushing, immediately stopping the conversation. I decided to avoid his gaze.
"As you want. Let's go to the gym, then. Follow me."
We were on the seventh floor, the walls not differing from the rest of the facility that was so dark.
Kellan led the way to a square room, entirely gloomy except for the light coming out of the metallic floor. There was a sort of a gray rubber band in the middle of the room.
"We're going to start slowly, and increase your stamina. You will start by running thirty-five minutes today, forty tomorrow and you will go to an hour every day."
"I've never been a good runner…"
"Good, bad, it's all relative. Running is just a matter of perseverance and will." he assured me.
"Wait, I'm not even dressed properly" I quickly said, almost already out of breath.
"It doesn't matter. Stand here" he added indicating the square band in front of me.
When I was ready, he added "Now close your eyes and focus. Breathe in, breathe out. Picture some calm and quiet place. Somewhere you've been to, some place where you can feel free."
Easier said than done. I thought. How could I feel free when I was imprisoned here for no reason? If my mumhad been there, she would have told me to be patient and to wait for the right moment. She would have taken me for a walk and we would have talked for hours to find a solution, she would have listened and understood.
"Alright, open your eyes now."
"How…?" I was speechless. It was exactly like I remembered. The pier and waterfront, protected by the majestic white and red striped lighthouse, warning the boats to stay away from the shore, the sand dunes enveloping it, breaking waves on the beach. I could smell the sea and feel the wind on my face. I could hear seagulls fighting over a mussel on my right and boat engines roaring while leaving the harbor and waves behind.
I had known this place my entire childhood but had never dared come back after their accident. This place was too connected to them even though it was full of happy memories. Newport had witnessed the best of my holidays, my eternal walks on the beach and our ice-cream breaks but it also held the sharp reminder of what I had lost.
"Your chip can only materialize places you know well. The runner will adapt to your speed", he explained pointing at what I remembered was the gray band under my feet.
"It's not a usual landscape" he further said, disguising his question.
"It's in Europe. I used to go there every summer with my parents" was all I could say.
"Now try to find your rhythm, start slowly then accelerate a little bit."
"But I'm not…" Then I realized my outfit was adequate for running, as I was wearing a pair of sneakers, a blue sleeveless shirt and dark blue shorts. This instant wardrobe was proving time-saving, plus I had never liked shopping. I smiled to myself.
I followed Kellan's instructions, as he was running next to me in this timeless landscape, where the trees, flowers and plants of the nearby park were dissipating like smoke when you touched them.
Everything seemed so real, that I risked venturing on the pier and back.
Kellan rarely broke our silent running, except with more instructions "Faster... Breathe out deeply... Find your own pace…"
I didn't protest even though I didn't like being bossed around. I thought I couldn't run and talk at the same time anyway.
After thirty-five minutes sharp, he said "Alright, slow down now. Let's walk for ten minutes. How did it feel?"
"Alright, I guess."
"We need to stretch before your next training. Raise your arms, as high as you can. Try to stand on your tiptoes. Hold this position as long as you can.
Okay, stand straight, feet touching each other. Now raise your arms again, this time try to touch your feet without flexing your knees. Good."
Good? It was his first word of encouragement since we had started training.
"Why don't you tell me about them?" he asked, continuing his stretching exercises.
"About whom?" I answered standing up and totally startled by his question.
"Your parents…" he insisted.
I went on stretching as well because I didn't want him to see my grief.
"Well, they died, there is nothing much to tell."
"How did they die?"
Now that was enough, he was going too far.
"Why do you want to know?" I replied angrily.
"You lost them both at the same time…"
"How do you know they died together?" I retorted.
"I read your file..." was all he said.
"You did what?"
"Stern has a file on all of us. She gave it to me when I took responsibility for you."
"If you know the answer, why do you ask the question?" I said matter-of-factly.
"Touché" was all he could reply.
I was pissed at him for reading my personal data, but Kellan had been the only one who stood up for me, so I added "They died coming back home with our Christmas tree. It was our family tradition – the three of us decorating a real tree.
The whole apartment would smell of pine. We would wrap all the presents we had bought for each other and give them on the twenty-fifth as soon as we got up."
After a short break I continued "They were so selfless and generous that they would also buy presents for our neighbors or my school mates and invite over those who were alone that day. They raised me as their own daughter even though they could have enjoyed their time together, without me. They adopted me when I was still young." I was smiling, recalling these events. "My mum had foreseen a huge party for my graduation." Recalling her kindness was too difficult, so I tried to concentrate on the facts instead.
"I refused to go buying that damned tree, I was too busy being selfish. So they did it. Apparently they were driving too fast on their way back home and lost control of their vehicle. It should have been me in that fucking car… I killed them…"
I continued "And you know what the worst part is? Such decent people died the worst of deaths; their engine caught fire after the impact and they burnt, stuck in their car."
That will silence him for a while, I thought to myself.
"I'm sorry…" he replied after two minutes.
That was the last thing I expected from him. So he has a heart… Touché! I further thought.
"Don't be. You didn't put snow on the road that day, and you certainly didn't light the fire."
"No, I mean, I'm sorry it hurt you so much."
And just like this all my anger turned into gratefulness, for him and what he had said, his honesty for telling me about the file and for understanding what I had been through.
"Let's go back to work" he had brought me back to reality, all formal again.
"I would like you to close your eyes. But this time, imagine a bike, as light as a feather, convenient on all kinds of surfaces – mountains, hills, rocks…"
I did as I was told.
"Perfect. Now open your eyes."
Was it the chip? One thing was certain, it was really convenient. I found myself sitting on the comfortable saddle of a gray bike with black tires, it was like sitting on a sofa.
And there passed our second training, a forty-five minute ride, in my past and in silence except for the usual words of advice. Maybe there was not much to tell about my life anymore, or maybe I was too stunned by his change of mood every two minutes, or I didn't trust him enough yet to ask him personal questions. But I could sense that something had shifted between us and that he wasn't at all the unemotional prick he pretended to be.
Somehow this morning had passed at the speed of light. I had had the time to shower in the training room and I was famished.
We were both back in the dining room when Kellan said "There is something I need to do. Let's meet in an hour – on the seventh floor."
"Wait, are you going to see Naome? Can I go with you?" I tried.
The elevator door turned opaque, carrying Kellan with it before he could answer.
Well, that was new; leaving me alone in the premises after what happened? Let's make the most of it I thought.
The scenery had been the same since the morning but I was surprisingly getting used to the awkward looks and whispers of the people around me. In fact, it almost felt like high school again, too straightforward and uncompromising to be popular. I smiled inwardly.
Still decided to ignore their smirks, I went straight to the buffet table. Fish day? Great for a vegetarian... I was decorating my plate with all the colors of a rainbow – beetroot, cabbage, lemon, corn, tomatoes and all sorts of sauces.
But suddenly I heard "Isn't that Wonder Woman? Shouldn't you be training to save us all?" Jeanne said with her self-satisfied smirk. Still wearing a black mini skirt, she was probably trying to provoke me.
I wouldn't let her win this time. "What's your problem?" I asked.
"What's my problem?" she repeated. "My problem is that you and your useless ass are looting the whole food supply and we won't have anything else to eat.
But I understand, beating up people certainly whets your appetite! You must be starving, you bitch."
That was it, I had had enough. Not responding to provocation was one thing but she had crossed a limit, I wouldn't let her insult me. "Well, at least I'm not the one dressing like a slut just to draw attention."
That should shut her up I thought.
As I turned back to the buffet, willing to ignore her, I had only had the time to notice that she had grasped a glass to throw its content at my face. Trying to limit the damage, I protected it with my right hand when I felt a warm wind blowing.
As I expected my hair to be full of juice, I was surprised to realize it was dry and, my clothes too. I opened my eyes to see what had happened.
Maggy was on my right, both her arms stretched out in front of her and Jeanne was thundering forth, calling her names.
"If you don't want all the glasses of this room emptied on your face, I suggest you calm down and don't bother us again."
"She had it coming" Jeanne finished.
Then I saw her taking her tray and leaving us to sit down at a table, alone. "What was that? I didn't know you were so…powerful…" I said to Maggy.
"I just turned juice into steam, nothing extraordinary." She went on "Why was Jeanne so pissed at you?"
"Well, now she is pissed at both of us…"
"Don't worry, I've never liked her anyway, she is so full of herself…" She was trying to reassure me.
"I think it has something to do with me… training with Kellan."
"And what sort of training are you referring to?" she asked smiling.
We both burst into laughter, not paying attention to our suspicious surroundings.
"What are you having?" she further asked.
"Shrimp salad, without the shrimps" I answered.
"Yum, it seems good. I'll have some too."
When she was all set, she headed for the table at the far end of the room where Toby and Ben were already devouring their lunch. I followed her.
"What was that all about?" asked Ben when we both sat down in front of him.
"Nothing really, Jeanne being her usual bitch." Maggy joked.
"You're right, it's nothing new!" he answered. "How is Mister Universe?" Ben asked, turning to me now.
"Who are you talking about?"
"Are you kidding me? Even Jeanne is trying to put her hands all over him when she has the chance." It was Toby this time, all serious, lifting up his head, looking straight at me from the opposite side of the table.
"Well, I don't know about you Ben but I need more than a few muscles to get all excited…"
I replied to the comment, looking back at Toby.
"Well-said, sister! I totally agree, let's add a good tan, and we have a winner" said Ben, laughing.
Toby looked away.
What's his problem? My eyes asked Maggy's. She answered by shrugging her shoulders.
Then she changed the subject "Are you ready for tonight?"
Tonight? What is so special about tonight? "We could all meet in front of elevator
number two at... around seven?"
"Let's say seven thirty, I need to practice some new moves" said Ben.
"Whatever…" Toby added.
"What are you all talking about?" I finally decided to ask.
Maggy answered this time "Do you know which day it is today?"
"I don't have a clue." I had forgotten to check my board this morning, as usual.
"We are on the fourth...July the fourth…"
Already? ... Keep track of time, keep track of time ...Independence Day...I thought as I remembered my History class with Ms. Tollet. I knew it meant a big celebration but I wasn't exactly sure what we would be able to do at the bottom of the ocean.
"Faith, is seven thirty okay for you?" asked Maggy.
"I'm not sure it's a good idea…considering what happened…" I replied.
"Don't be ridiculous. If you don't show up, it will give people another incentive to talk about you…"
"I don't know…"
"Come on…" Ben further insisted.
"Okay, I guess. What's the dress code?" I asked.
"I'm going for sexy but comfortable" said Maggy.
"Alright, I'll see what I can do…" and I smiled.
"Okay. I hope I can be ready on time…" she added, "I've got training the whole afternoon."
"The whole afternoon?" I ventured.
"Of course, I need to improve my alteration skills if I want to be able to serve the country."
"Looks like you can manage alright …" I added.
"It's not enough, we need to progress. People are dying everywhere and we can do something about it. "
Stern must have given her the same speech. How can you convince such an innocent girl to spoil her life? What about these guys? They didn't even flinch. Are they ready to sacrifice their life too? They're so young. I need to get out of here and fast or they will have their way and I couldn't imagine giving them what they wanted.
Patience, patience.
I need to calm down and wait for the right moment. Yes, the right moment.
"Who's training with you?" It occurred to me that I didn't know anything about other trainers.
"We all have personal trainers and doctors" said Toby. "Except for you and Jared.
You share the same doctor and a lot of other things, as I see it", he added smiling.
"What is that supposed to mean?" I asked angrily, I really didn't like his tone.
"It means you both share a true fascination for his brother…"
"What?" I asked puzzled.
"Sorry to tell you that Jeanne beat you to it!" he continued.
"Stop it!" I said so loudly than everyone turned around to look at us.
"Hey, don't kill the messenger" he pleaded his hands up. "Don't give up hope, you have a lot in common with Jeanne. You're both attention seekers and I'm not the only one who thinks that way."
"Toby, shut up. You don't know what you're talking about!" Maggy said.
"If you want to take my place, Toby, be my guest. I've never asked for any of this." I replied.
"Bullshit! And your powers, nothing so far, really?" he said, standing up and taking his tray. "I don't know what all the fuss is about, you're probably not worth it." Turning to Maggy, he added "Wake up guys! Life goes on…"
"Toby, what's come over you?" asked Maggy, glancing at him incredulously.
"You're all so full of shit." Having said that, he left the table and sat down at Jeanne's,
on the opposite corner. I looked at Ben and Maggy, not knowing what to say.
"Never mind him!" Ben said while Maggy's eyes were watering.
I decided to intervene. "I'm sorry Maggy. The last thing I wanted was to make you cry. I'm gonna go now."
"No, stay!" she pleaded, taking my sleeve and forcing me to sit down again. "It has nothing to do with you. Please, don't go. Toby wants… something I can't give him. That's all."
"Oh" was all I could say. "He'll get over it, you'll see." After two seconds, I realized that it may have sounded a bit harsh. "Not that I'm implying he can easily get over you, that's not what I meant...I'm sure it takes a long time...but it will pass quickly. Jeez, sorry... It's none of my business…" I was trying to justify myself when I saw Maggy smiling, then bursting into laughter, followed by Ben. I surrendered too.
"Oh girl, we have to work on your people skill..." Ben added and we laughed even more.
Everyone was looking at us but we didn't care. We went on pretending there were just the three of us in the dining room that day.
"What time is it?" I finally asked.
Ben answered by pointing at the clock on the wall, still laughing.
"I need to go now or I'll be late. See you guys, at seven thirty then?"
"See you." they both said at the same time.
Kellan wasn't there when I arrived at our meeting point.
What is he doing?
After what seemed like five minutes I decided to go exploring the floor. But soon I realized that I was totally lost for I had discovered it this morning for the first time; here again there was no door, no entrance to no room whatsoever, no noise, no life.
I rested a little bit, leaning on the wall when I heard some footsteps. The sound was faint at first then growing louder.
"Hello? Who's there?" I asked several times. There was no answer. I could hear steps even more clearly now. Panic started gripping me, my throat, accelerating my heartbeat.
I was alone, felt exposed and totally defenseless. I started running into the opposite direction in the hope of finding back the elevator. My breath was coming in short gasps now as I was slowly giving way to panic. I risked a last glance behind, not knowing what was in front of me when I violently hit something or someone. I quickly turned around, pressing my hand against my left temple. Another bruise certainly.
"Faith? What's going on?" It was Kellan.
"Someone is following me…" I said trying to catch my breath.
"Stay here." he demanded.
"No! Don't leave me alone!" I shouted. I caught his sleeve and added "Let's go. It's probably nothing. Please. Forget it."
And for once he listened to me.
We had found our way back to the training room but it had nothing to do with the place I recalled.
The boxing ring that had just appeared dispelled any doubt as to the nature of my training.
"Okay. Let's start." he commanded.
"Wait, I need to change…" I said embarrassed.
"Don't worry, the gym is reactive to my chip now. Just stand on the gray band here and close your eyes, it will know what you need to wear."
I followed Kellan's instructions and was ready in less than two minutes. I was wearing red shorts, a white shirt with black boxing gloves, and my hair in a ponytail. I felt ready but nothing could have prepared me for such an extensive training.
"What is this place?" I asked. This gym smelled of sweat and blood, with wooden floor and very small windows that were so dirty and so high that we couldn't catch sight of anything outside. The ring was imposing in this enclosed space.
"It's the place where I used to train, a long time ago, in another life." he answered.
"Where was it?"
"New York" was his final answer and I didn't dare ask for more.
He came to stand in front of me.
I was feeling my heart pounding. Why was I so nervous?
"We're going to start with your stance. There are some rules you need to follow. You're right-handed I think?"
"Yes…"
"Alright. Both feet on the floor, try to distribute your weight across both legs. Hands up, elbows down. Here, let me show you."
As he was helping me find the right posture I could feel tension in my arms on every part of skin he touched. I had never experienced anything like this before. It was like waiting for the next shot of adrenalin, so full of promise and excitement at the same time.
"Hold your head behind your gloves, chin slightly down. You need to be able to see over your gloves. Breathe!" he gave as last word of advice.
"Easy for you to say. It's a lot of information at the same time. I've never done any of this before."
"Relax. It will come naturally after a while. To go forward or left, step with your left foot first and then drag the right foot after."
Keep your eyes off him, keep your eyes off him!
"To go backward or right, step with your right foot first and then drag the left foot after."
"Like this?"
"Yes, exactly. This is the basic boxing footwork. It ensures that your weight is grounded and that you are always ready to attack or defend yourself."
Oh Gosh, please don't let my eyes betray me.
"Now, to throw punches, you need to remember one thing; exhale as you throw the punch and make sure your other hand protects the rest of your body…Try on my hands. One, two. One, two."
Don't think, don't think. Empty your mind.
"Good, now on the bag. Again! This time tighten your fist at impact. Like this!"
"Okay" I timidly answered.
"All boxing punches are in fact a variation of straight punches; for hook punches you simply hold your elbow sideways, for uppercut punches, you keep your elbow down..."
As Kellan was explaining all the basic rules of this sport, I could see his eyes alight with excitement and knowledge which rendered him even more alluring.
What is wrong with you? Stop it!
"...and don't forget to finish with your feet at the same distance."
I needed to turn my thoughts to something else than his torso if I wanted to remember anything.
"Now let's try some combinations…"
I kept on practicing the moves he had taught me, again and again for two hours, with and without the heavy bag.
Nothing could stop my mind from preying on him.
Oh my Gosh, I'm falling for him.
I'm falling for Kellan?
"Here take another sip." he said, handing me my bottle of water, after a shower in our separate tubes.
I had gone for regular clothes this time – black shirt, jeans with black thong sandals.
"How come you managed to make bottles and food appear out of nowhere?"
It was better to turn my mind to practical matters instead of letting it wander and then end up focusing on what I had sworn to forget from now on.
"There is a fridge in this room, I didn't make anything appear." He smiled. "Even if I wish I could…"
But my curiosity was far from being satisfied.
"When my chip was reactive, and we were running, everything turned into smoke at my touch. Why?"
"Your chip allows your brain to give you the illusion that you are somewhere else, but it cannot create more space than was offered at the start. And your vision was blurry at first because your mind wasn't used to being tricked yet or your memory of that place was too hazy to give clear images.
Remember the gray band? We are still standing on it, it is moving when we think about moving, turning when we think about turning. Your chip just interprets the information it receives and transcripts it in 4D images."
I wasn't convinced. "You said the chip cannot create more space, what about my apartment? I slept in a small room on the day I arrived and it expanded the next day."
"It didn't expand, it was just an optical illusion. Trust me, your apartment has always been that big." he explained.
"How do you know so much about this place?" I wondered.
"I've been here for a while and I know the right person to ask …."
"Have you seen Naome?" I asked out of the blue.
"No one has, Stern's orders… But I'm sure she's feeling better already. Don't worry. Ready for your last activity?"
"Yes, I guess…"
It was so strange, I had never been the athletic type but somehow, after all this training, even though I could feel my muscles had been working all day, they weren't sore at all. I was hungry for more.
"This is the funny part. Watch!" he added.
I couldn't believe it, in front of me different shades of blue were slowly forming to depict the clear picture of a vast ocean. My feet were tickling with the feeling of water washing them. All around us pure white sand was invading the rest of the landscape with palm trees disparately organized alongside the beach. The soft breeze on my face was refreshing.
"Where are we?" I asked him, not recognizing this landscape nor its milky whiteness.
"I used to come here as a child. We're in Daytona. Well, we're not technically there but you know what I mean."
"I feel the sun on my skin and the water at my feet, how is that possible?"
"There is an actual tank of salty water in this room, with a strong current, to give the impression of swimming forward when you go deeper in the water. Another perk for taking part in this program I guess, you can go on holiday whenever you want." He smiled, but this time, at me.
I couldn't think of anything else than him, his warm eyes, his hands, on me... It made me so ashamed that I started watching my feet. At this point I was made aware that I was wearing a black swimming suit with a plunging neckline and lace at the top. I started blushing.
"I hope you don't mind, I thought you wouldn't have fancied a flashy bikini."
I remained mute.
"Let's go! Two more hours" he said breaking the awkward silence.
I ran in the water and dived to cover my body as quickly as possible.
"See you tonight?" I asked Kellan before he could disappear around the corner.
"Yes, I'll meet you there."
"Great." After two seconds I called his name "Kellan?"
He reappeared.
"Thank you for today. You made me feel... normal again…"
"You're... welcome…" he answered smiling, leaving the hall for good this time.
Before entering my apartment I wanted to check something. I concentrated, thinking about the bunk bed I had been sleeping on and the room it had been in.
My door opened and I was back in the bunker I had slept in for my first night here.
I needed to see for myself what Kellan had meant by optical illusion.
I touched the wall, starting by the corner near the door and arrived near the bed.
So far everything was normal but when I arrived at the end of the bed, my hand only met emptiness. It was so strange, my eyes could see a wall that didn't exist. The room was giving way to another one without me ever noticing.
Clever I thought.
I closed my eyes again and thought about home.
CHAPTER 5 –
A Light in the Dark
Tonight, the board mentioned:
4th July 7 p.m. meeting point 9th floor.
5th July 9'30 a.m. Dr. Bochi,
10'30 - 12'30 training 1
1'30-3'30 fighting
4'00-6 p.m. training 2
6th July 9'30 a.m. Dr. Bochi,
10'30 - 12'30 training 1
1'30-3'30 fighting
4'00-6 p.m. training 2
6'24, I have more or less an hour to get ready. More than enough!
I went into the bathroom, decided to rinse my salty skin and pressed on the circular shape to take my last shower of the day. When I was ready, I opted for the classical black dress but it was too long.
Maybe a little bit shorter, with some cleavage, but not too much?
The sewing machine was once more following the exact mental picture I had of the perfect dress.
More glitter. I was now wearing a beautiful sparkling necklace, with matching earrings in the shape of tears and my dress was encrusted with small diamonds.
Too much with the diamonds. My dress had turned to pure black again but this time my hair was up, held by a tiara.
Better. I thought.
Wait, too much fabric at the back...
I had now the perfect cleavage at the front and a low cut at the back with high heels.
I was ready.
Only make up was missing.
Let's try it. I thought.
I pictured an old photo of Audrey Hepburn I had on my journal back home.
The tube reappeared and when I checked in the mirror, it had drawn smoky eyes with a small line of eyeliner.
Okay.
Now the only thing to do was waiting for Maggy.
At seven thirty sharp and after forty-five minutes of ceaseless walk in my living room to calm my nerves, I decided to go waiting outside.
Maggy was already there, escorted by Ben. She was wearing a gorgeous sparkly dress, imprinted with the American flag. Her hair was held in a bun and she was wearing marvelous blue and red earrings perfectly matching her dress.
Ben was totally overdressed with a shiny dark blue tuxedo and a hat, resembling Uncle Sam's on his war propaganda poster We want you. Of course Toby was a no-show.
"Waooo Faith, you look...you're breathtaking…" she complimented me.
"Thanks Maggy. You look amazing too" was all I could say. "Ben, I see you surpassed yourself again" I added chuckling.
"Wait till you see me for New Year's Eve!" he answered winking at me.
New Year? I can't stay here till New Year! It's in six months! How can they agree to go on living like that? Haven't they realized real life is outside this prison? Don't they have any hopes or dreams for themselves?
"Ladies, shall we?" Ben added, taking a bow and presenting me with his hand. I took it gratefully as we were heading for the party.
Nothing was really special about the ninth floor. It was dark when the elevator door turned translucent and the lit candles floating at the surface of each bowl were showing us the way to another room.
But what was more surprising was the translucent tunnel following this first room. The Plexiglas in the shape of an arc was surmounted by small lights and all around us we could distinguish fish, all sorts of fish. I had almost forgotten we were in the middle of the Indian Ocean.
"It's incredible. Have you been here before?" I asked.
"This floor is my favorite. Every party is organized here" answered Maggy.
"Come on girls, we're late..." said Ben.
There seemed to be no end to it. I could feel my curiosity arousing as I didn't know what to expect next. After more or less sixty feet I could see light, sunlight. I had never seen any view like this. The concrete led us to a walk alongside a river. In the distance we could admire an immense bridge. The candles were still indicating the path to follow.
"New York, New York" Ben exclaimed. On a sign next to the inviting flashy green grass we could read Brooklyn Park. It smelled like fresh cut grass and sun cream, with a pinch of salt in the air.
"Great choice" he added.
On the lawn and the prolonged path on water I counted fifty people approximately. They were all elegantly dressed, mostly in red, white and blue. Butlers were wearing white suits with gloves and were offering their guests champagne glasses and appetizers. We could hear people talk relentlessly and animatedly, or burst into laughter, all their conversation being sometimes interrupted by the twitter of birds.
However, when we arrived, they all stared at me – and among them I saw Wolf giving me a severe look. I stole a glance at Maggy and Ben. I was frozen in my tracks but determined not to lower my eyes.
"Yeah, that's right, baby, the party has arrived!" Ben shouted. And five seconds later everyone went back to attending their business.
"Never mind them" whispered Maggy, "You have all the right to be here. Don't worry."
I was grateful for their presence and support but I was surprised to realize that I was looking for somebody else in the crowd.
We found a nice place on the grass and sat down, cut off from the crowd who was near the water.
The firework was due at nine thirty and time was flying with these two. Ben couldn't stop cracking jokes and mocking the waiters around us.
Memories of their best 4th of July were exchanged but nothing too personal.
The food was delicious – spring rolls, fried shrimps –not that I had tasted these but they had received the approval of both Ben and Maggy – their appetizers bathing in cognac sauce...
However it appeared to be impossible to get drunk insisted Ben. "This fucking chip is controlling everything from my sugar level to the amount of wind I'm supposed to let out after a nice warm meal. Tell me about freedom."
Maggy was laughing even more loudly.
But there was still no sign of Kellan. I felt stupid for thinking he would have come, for thinking...I didn't know what I had expected exactly.
Maggy stood up suddenly "I'll be right back."
"Hey, don't be too long, it's getting dark, the fireworks are certainly about to start" I said.
"Don't worry, I just need to find the restrooms...to get rid of all this alcohol that won't get me drunk." She winked at Ben.
Everyone had stood up awaiting the big event.
We followed their example for once. I was taken aback by the first explosion in the blackened sky ten minutes afterwards. It was silver and bright, illuminating Big Apple in the background.
The crowd was now cheering and clapping for each new artificial star.
I turned around to see if Maggy was near, Ben certainly didn't seem preoccupied. No sign of her. Where are you? You're missing the best part of the show. I thought.
It was taking too long.
I turned around to signal to Ben that I was going to fetch Maggy when I felt a hand restraining my right arm. I jumped with surprise.
"Hey!" I shouted.
"Come with me, now!" my assailant said aggressively, dragging me away.
I was protesting, trying to remove his strong hand but Jared had his nails deeply inserted in my skin, scratching me. Astonishingly it didn't really hurt. However, the more I tried to escape from him, the stronger his grip was.
I implored Ben to turn around but he didn't hear me. The music was at its peak with Katie Perry's transcending voice.
Jared had taken me away to a remote and deserted place. I had stopped screaming, knowing so well that it was useless.
He pushed me hard against a tree, his left forearm blocking my airways and preventing me from moving. I was trying to remove his arm, to catch my breath. I quickly started to feel numb.
"You bitch, it is all your fault. You're going to pay for what you have done."
I was trying to kick him, punch his face like Kellan had taught me. It was in vain. Jared wouldn't let go of his grip. "I...I don't… know ...what…" I couldn't talk anymore.
His eyes, injected with blood and rage, and the sound of his army tag moving were the last elements I noticed before closing my eyes.
"You killed her! You bitch! Naome was innocent. You don't deserve to live!"
What…? Dead? How? When? She was getting better. I don't understand…
Not again! Not her!
Suddenly a familiar wave of guilt washed over me. Maybe he was right. Maybe I deserved to die. Knowing that I was about to pass out in ten seconds, I quit fighting and decided to let the inevitable happen, shedding a tear, relieved at the prospect of this suffering – or remorse – coming to an end. I was full of regrets... but I was grateful too... for today...
I fell violently on the ground, coughing, trying to breathe again.
Regaining some consciousness, I looked up, from my crouching position.
Kellan was restraining Jared, encircling him with his two arms.
Jared was kicking him with his elbow, fighting his brother's restraint.
"Faith, get out of here now!" Kellan shouted at me.
I stood up with difficulty and stumbled along, trying to run, barefoot.
Finding my way back on the promenade, I saw Maggy and Ben, surrounded by Toby, Jeanne who glanced at me sadistically.
I started running even faster, following candle lights in the reverse direction.
Was I going the right way?
Stop freaking out, just run!
I entered the elevator, pressed on the button displaying six, frenetically.
But when I looked back, I saw Jeanne dangerously approaching, running faster and faster.
The door turned opaque and was already carrying me up, before she could reach me.
When I arrived in my familiar hall, I used the route I had taken with Kellan, and made another run for it. Panic was invading me now, so sheer, knowing that Jeanne would be here soon.
I started weeping.
I didn't know where I was and how I was supposed to reach safety…
Your chip. Use your chip. I thought about security measures, locks, someone breaking into my home, danger...
Then I heard it.
Faintly at first, slowly growing louder as I was approaching its source.
My alarm system was on, giving me directions.
I followed the noise and reached another corner.
I pressed on the shape next to it and I was back inside, safe.
I mentally added five more locks on my door, ran to my living room, and sat down on my sofa, holding my knees, rocking back and forth to find solace.
I woke up on the sofa, sweating, still holding my knees. It was the middle of the night; everything was ghostly, the only light that came in was a ray of moon. A full moon.
But I knew none of this was real. I was still trapped at the bottom of the ocean. My heartbeat started racing again. I focused on the word light but nothing happened. I looked around and it was so gloomy that I couldn't see anything.
Suddenly I heard a step, then a second one – or was it an echo? A third one, a fourth one.
I quickly glanced at the corner when the sound had derived from. Nothing. Only shadows, moving, dancing.
Oh my Gosh, there is something inside my apartment.
All the separated shadows somehow merged to form only one – it was a silhouette.
The silhouette of a woman, drawing near, encircling me, strangling me…
My eyes opened in an instant. I was sweating heavily, not knowing where I was.
Another nightmare.
I tried to convince myself it would be the last one but I honestly doubted it would be the case.
It was day, or they were trying to make me think it was. I got up, wearing the same dress as the day before or was it several? I had lost count. I had been able to sleep after all.
Relentless sleep, but sleep anyway.
Then I remembered, the events of the previous night. Once again I was responsible for someone's death – not resulting from my selfishness, but my own violence. I knew I wouldn't be able to overcome it this time. I also knew it was getting more and more dangerous each day. So was I. Jared, Jeanne, Wolf, Stern … and now all the people who had known Naome. I was the undesirable number one here and I couldn't blame them.
Let's let them have their way, I want to die too.
My bedroom door banged opened in an instant.
It was Stern. She was here, in my apartment, her hands hidden in the pockets of her black trousers. She must be concealing a weapon. Go ahead, I'm ready.
But I started to doubt the motive of her visit when she said, still looking at me angrily "You're such a disappointment, Faith…" She was sitting down on my bed, hands off her pockets now.
"You made no progress in these past months. Bochi may think what he wants, I don't believe it; you're not a healer…I have invested so much in you… But I've never felt a true commitment from your part. And now Naome…I have no other option… I'll keep Jeanne and J at bay but only if you agree to have surgery again. I will let you know when. Such a waste… You better get up now, Professor Bochi doesn't like being kept waiting and you already missed yesterday's appointment…"
I remained silent and resigned. Was it necessary to remind me of what had happened? Don't you think I know?
Without adding anything, she stood up, left my bedroom, leaving the door open.
After minutes of total impassivity, I struggled out of bed, still consumed with dreadful guilt.
CHAPTER 6 –
Heavy Lightness
Which day was it? My board indicated 6th July but I didn't know which weekday we were.
The faster, the better… Being killed or the surgery, it doesn't matter I thought as I had lost all the will to live.
I was in the bathroom now, looking at the face of a murderer. No mark on my throat? Had it been just a dream? I had thought for one second but I doubted that as well when I recognized with certainty the feeling in my gut: crying shame.
I was out of my apartment when I saw him, waiting for me.
"Leave me alone!" I told Kellan.
"Is this how you're thanking me for saving you, again?" he asked, staying all calm and serious.
I was heading for elevator number one, the closest to my room. I didn't answer, I just wanted to avoid him. Him and his devilish brother.
I wanted nothing to do with those two. I had been running in the hall for several minutes, pursued by Kellan, when I came to a dead end.
"Stop following me. I'm warning you!" Panicking, I was pushing every shape I thought I saw.
"If you're looking for the elevator, it's right there", he added pointing at the corner on my left.
I remembered the grayish shape I needed to press on this corner and a door appeared. I entered the elevator, followed by Kellan, despite my attempt to let the elevator move before he could enter. Apparently pressing on all the floor buttons had only delayed the closing of the door.
Good to know. I was angry at myself and still not talking.
When the elevator reached the eighth floor, the door became translucent as it had for all the other floors.
Kellan said "Let's go" and he took my hand.
I went out reluctantly, trying to slow him down. I removed my hand from his.
"Just slow down." he said after two minutes.
"What do you want? Do you enjoy spending time with a murderer?" I burst out, having stopped walking in the middle of the hall. I was overwhelmed with black despair.
"Do not go on that road. You don't even know what provoked her death…"
"I will never be able to live with it…"
"When I said trust your intuition I thought you had understood".
As he pronounced these words, he slowly took my hands in his and put them on each side of his head, exactly where Jeanne had put hers.
I never saw this coming.
My heart was melting, with this touch he had taken away all my sorrow and pain.
I felt butterflies fluttering in my stomach and a wave of excitement as his head was getting closer to mine. I could feel his strong hair slipping through my fingers.
At this exact moment, I was submerged by a painless flow of energy, so strong my head bent back, my eyes rolling back too.
Kellan catching me in his arms was the only sensation I had before I felt my body going numb, levitating; my mind was reeling because of the thousands of pictures it was receiving every second.
Am I dreaming? I had this feeling of floating or walking on a cloud, without controlling my speed. In front of me hundreds of landscapes were appearing.
Wolf? What is he doing here?
All the images stopped in a fragment of seconds to turn to Wolf untying Kellan in what seemed to be a cellar.
"Hurry up. He's after her. What happened?" Wolf asked.
"Naome is dead. I'm sure it was Stern. Jared was out of control and he put me here. Where are they?"
I was suddenly crushed by a wave of growing panic that I couldn't control. Wolf was trying to catch up with Kellan, running, but I was already leaving the scene. Wait, I want to see him again, show me Kellan. Show me Kellan again.
I was now next to him but I wasn't the only one in what I imagined to be his apartment.
Jeanne was there too.
"Come on, look at us. I know we would be great together. We are meant to be.
If only you could let me in…" She had her arms around him, ready to kiss him.
At this moment all I felt was disgust and embarrassment. When I saw myself in the hall, Kellan was removing her hands from his neck. My double couldn't hide her surprise nor disappointment. He started running after "her", leaving Jeanne and myself behind. This image slowly faded away carrying me along with it.
I was in a dark room when I could feel mounting anger building inside of me.
"What the fuck did you do? I didn't steal it so you could inject her with it. Our cover will be blown instantly if they realize what you did…Stern has already asked me to watch you…You're are being stupid and reckless." Wolf was talking fast.
"I couldn't leave her like this…They'll probably think she can heal very quickly thanks to the alteration surgery and they'll give her a break. And what the fuck did you hit her with? She couldn't even walk…" It was Kellan, he was furious.
"What did you expect me to do? She was out of control, not to mention all the cameras that were filming her…I didn't have any choice."
Wolf was justifying hitting me?
"And what if I had taken the other one by mistake? You could have killed her too…"
"No, the serum is almost translucent. The anti-serum is practically red."
How did Kellan know so many things?
"How do you know?" Wolf was asking him. I wasn't the only curious one.
"Naome has analyzed the serum for me. She started doubting Stern's motives after meeting Faith. And listen to this; she found DNA in both samples. These were taken from humans, altered humans…twins…"
"Do you mean…?"
"Yes, this is exactly what it means…There might be others…" I could now feel bleak despair crushing him when I felt carried away somewhere else.
I could see myself in my bed, sleeping. I saw Kellan coming to me, calling my name, trying to wake me.
"Do you trust me?" I saw him insert a needle in my arm and seeing him doing so I was thrown into mad panic. What if it doesn't work? What am I doing? What if it kills her? I couldn't go on living with that.
It was so strange; these weren't my thoughts. Were they Kellan's? As I was trying to prevent him from injecting me with the liquid, I saw my hand disappear and turn into thin air.
Kellan was in front of me, walking, carrying something in his hands.
I accelerated to keep up with him and I recognized a tray of food with muffins.
He put it down with some blankets and I was surprised to think That will certainly cheer her up. But I realized it wasn't me, I wasn't dreaming.
I was in his memory, Kellan's memory.
How is that possible? Show me more, I thought, then drifted away.
I was now in a familiar landscape. In front of me The French Quarter was opening up, showing me Kellan seated next to Jared on a bench. They were both facing the Mississippi River. The sun was going down, it was hot and damp. As I was drawing nearer, I heard them arguing.
Don't do this J. She's innocent. You know what happened to others. We owe them nothing!
We owe them everything; we have a roof above our heads, a life here. They need us. The world needs us Kellan, and her. She could be it… Stern is sure of it!
You don't know that and I won't let you destroy another person's life…
What is a life compared to the millions we will save? What are you going to do? Stop me? What about our purpose here? What about our mission?
Observing them, I realized their lips weren't moving. They weren't even looking at each other.
How come I can hear them? Are they talking about me?
Jared stood up suddenly and left Kellan alone on the bench. Anger, he was angry and sad. I recognized his feelings and was disappearing again, falling into oblivion.
More I thought.
Wolf was back in what I was now certain to be one of Kellan's memory fragments. They were both in an enclosed space I didn't know and they were both whispering.
"Are you sure our meeting was a good idea?" Wolf asked.
"You came to me, you wanted a way out." Kellan answered.
"I know, I know. I'm just… Never mind. Are you sure we're not under surveillance?"
"Positive."
"That's what you thought in Stern's office when I caught you…"
"Relax, they never record anything in here anyway."
"So, what did you have in mind?"
"I want to find out what they're really after. Stern is very concise when she gives information and I'm not buying any of it. No way is she working for the US government."
"What do you want me to do?" Wolf enquired.
"We need to collect Intel to know more about Stern and her organization. And as soon as we get the chance, we expose them and get the hell out."
"Sounds good to me" replied Wolf.
Hope, he's hopeful and relieved I knew.
"How can I reach you if I need to talk to you?"
This image quickly turned into something else, I had the impression that they were accelerating in front of me and I couldn't cling onto them.
Kellan was lying in front of me now. Drains were coming out of his body, everywhere, in this inert white surgical room. His head was shaved and his body bruised and defeated.
Am I alive? Why have I agreed to do this? It hurts… so much. Jared, what did you make me do…? As I could feel his pain growing and despair driving him, I took his hand in mine but I only touched air, my body disappearing once more.
The light inside the bar was faint, it was noisy and I could detect scents of smoke and alcohol mixing. Kellan was serving drinks at the bar when he saw Jared come in, with… Louise.
She was a gorgeous, fresh brunette, not older than eighteen. She was wearing a red strapless dress with long earrings and red lipstick.
I could feel rage growing inside Kellan. He was walking to them both slowly, Jared was impassive. Kellan suddenly punched Jared in the face, taking him by his shirt and pulling him outside.
I could hear the protests of the other bartender, Phil, shouting that they were both fired.
Louise was smiling with triumph and walked away.
I followed them both outside through the back door. When I caught up with them, Kellan was still holding his brother by the collar, against a wall, his fist ready to punch him a second time.
"I told you she was a slut, but you wouldn't listen. You had to play the hero."
Kellan dropped his grip on Jared and looked at his brother intensely. He was still furious but remained silent.
He turned around and said "Why, J? Why her? You could have any other girl. And now we're fired. You heard Phil."
"This one is on you, bro."
"What did you expect me to do, huh? Let you go away with it?" Kellan asked rhetorically.
"It's always been you and me K, never mind that bitch."
After five seconds Kellan added "We don't have any money, we have nowhere to go..."
"Don't worry, I found something. You don't have to worry about money anymore. Here, look at this card." On it I could get a glimpse at a silver giant S encrusted with what looked like a C in a rectangle.
"What is that?" K asked.
"Our new employer, bro. So don't weigh yourself down with extra luggage…We're leaving this shithole."
The next image took form so quickly that I almost felt sick.
I was following Kellan and Jared on a path. They were much younger, teenagers certainly. They were walking towards a house. A beautiful garden was surrounding it, the American flag was fluttering in the breeze. It was silent.
Kellan was approaching the open entrance door when he turned around to look at Jared and ask him to stay outside.
Kellan entered.
The beige walls were decorated with family pictures; the twins with diapers dutifully striking a pose – the couple around them were their parents – a beautiful black and white wedding picture – the man wearing a uniform.
More pictures of Kellan and Jared were displayed on a rectangular mahogany table in the hall. The lamp on it was lighting the portrait of a man – the same one – in uniform again. There was an army tag in front of it. Next to it was a frame with a star-shaped medal inside. I could read Army/Forever/USA. And above it this sentence In memory of Maxwell Taylor.
Kellan was now shouting "Mom? Mom?" still more loudly, searching for her in every room downstairs. He started climbing up the stairs in front of me. I decided to follow him.
He was slowing down now and I could feel dread perspiring out of him. He was heading for a room in particular.
His mom's bedroom. Rosalyn.
The green lights were on, which accentuated the sick feeling the second floor was already evoking.
Kellan slowly opened the door, when abject horror overcame him.
There was blood and flesh spread everywhere on the wall – in such a way – it was almost suggesting one of Pollock's paintings.
His mother lay down on her king-size bed, a gun next to her right hand.
Kellan didn't say anything. Mom… you were never strong enough.
He was struggling to contain his savage anger. He went to his mother's corpse and touched her hand, fighting back tears.
I could feel responsibility weighing on him, responsibility for his brother, for struggling for a better life than what he and his brother had had. Kellan stood up quickly for he had heard Jared's steps on the stairs.
Everything vanished into a blur.
The next landscape was displaying Kellan and Jared with the man in the picture. They were at the gym.
It smelled and looked exactly like the gym where we had practiced.
Kellan was so young, not more than six. He was punching the bag, proud of his progress but afraid to forget the next combination. Left, right, uppercut, hook…
"Focus Kellan, feet at equal distance. Good. Go on. Okay. Here have something to drink while your brother is training."
Kellan went sitting down on a bench.
His father was still talking to him, "Don't forget to stay focused, never lower your guard, K. Your opponent will use any opportunity to attack you. Harder, Jared", their father shouted, standing up and coming close to K's brother.
Kellan was looking at him with pride and love. All he wanted was to be like his dad.
"Rest another five minutes then you'll practice your karate moves."
I was swept along at the speed of light.
I could feel warmth irradiating everywhere. His eyes were closed. He was bathing in a liquid environment. Kellan didn't know where he was but it didn't matter, it was comforting. He was bent and tried to stretch but every time he did, he felt something – someone –kicking him, taking the whole space he had left. This kick felt somehow reassuring and he felt safe here. I could hear a muffled voice, talking to him, to them.
"Oh, come on little men, stop moving. I can't breathe anymore. Ouch. Honey? Honey, we've got to go now, I think they're coming!"
I woke up in Kellan's arms, drained and full of sorrow, able to whisper just one thing at his ear: "Rosalyn… How could she do this to you?"
Warm tears were slowly rolling down my cheeks and Kellan's face turned white with horror. I felt emotionally and physically drained. It was as if life had been sucked out of me. I couldn't stand up nor walk. Kellan was still holding me in his arms when I blacked out again.
"What the hell is going on here?" Professor Bochi was asking as I had regained some consciousness.
"There's been something wrong with her data, bring her inside." He was ordering Kellan to move. "Now!"
As Kellan was carrying me, I saw lust in the assistant's eyes as we passed her.
"Put her here."
I was on the auscultation chair again.
"She fainted and injured her head." Kellan lied. "She's had nothing to eat for two days… Can you give her something?"
"I need to run some tests first. I want a blood sample."
"Are you kidding me? She's obviously suffering, do something!" Kellan protested this time.
"Do you want me to report your refusal to Stern?" Kellan remained silent. "I thought so. Now let me do my job. You may go, you're no longer necessary here."
No. I was screaming in my head.
Faith? Oh my God, Faith, is that you?
What's going on?I thought.
Faith, it's me, K. Oh my God, I can't believe it.
"Kellan, what did you just say?" I asked him out loud.
Listen Faith, we need to get you out of here first. Don't say anything. They're watching us...
"Take the damn blood sample and let me take her back to her room. She's obviously disorientated."
Professor Bochi was eyeing me and Kellan suspiciously but complied. He put on his surgical gloves and prepared his syringe.
It didn't even pinch.
"Can we go now?" Kellan enquired as he was already lifting me up in his arms.
Dr. Bochi tore apart two different aluminum squares and gave them to me.
"Take these with water." We were almost out of his office when he added "I'll expect to see her tomorrow morning as usual."
I couldn't fail to notice the professor's sadistic smile, looking back as we were passing his assistant's desk.
"Kellan, what's wrong with me?" I asked, worried.
Sh... Don't say anything else. he whispered in my head. "I think our training yesterday was a little bit too hard. You are exhausted and starving!" Kellan said out loud, still carrying me in his arms.
I remained silent, so silent that I could hear his heartbeat accelerate. I was feeling so faint that I rested my head on his shoulder until we arrived at my apartment. The door immediately let us in as soon as we stood before it. He seemed to find his way without any difficulty. He put me on my bed and took the medicine I had been given.
"Here, try to rest a little bit. I'll fetch a glass of water." He came back two minutes afterwards with a sparkling mixture and gave it to me to drink.
I didn't protest. After having emptied the glass, I lay down on my bed.
"Rest, I'll be back when you wake up." Don't worry I won't be far, I'm heading for my apartment.
Kellan, go on talking to me, please.
We can still "talk". Close your eyes and pretend you are asleep. There are cameras everywhere. Stern is constantly watching us.
I know…Oh my Gosh, I know…What is wrong with me? Why can I hear you?
I don't know how it happened but we share the same ability.
Ability? Oh my Gosh, it wasn't a dream?
What do you mean by 'it wasn't a dream'?
I…I felt everything you have ever felt, saw everything you have lived…
Everything?
I knew honesty was too important to ignore but I didn't want to make him feel uncomfortable. However, no matter what I would say, the image of Louise smiling was forever printed in my mind.
It was more like being on a high-speed train and I saw some of the stops you had taken…
You "saw" what happened to my mother?
I did. I'm sorry.
Don't apologize, it's not your fault. But it's not like I've ever shared it with anyone before.
Don't worry, I won't tell. I'm so sorry you had to live through this.
Once again, you had nothing to do with it. It's strange though… So far I could only hear one person's thoughts, my brother's, since surgery. I have been able to "talk" to him but with no one else. It's a first for me too…
Why do you think it happened to me? I asked him.
Something must have triggered it. Has it happened before, I mean since the alteration surgery?
I focused on the past months when I recalled what had happened when the nurse touched me after I had woken up in the premises.
Yes, I think. With the nurse who checked up on me, I was in so much pain…Somehow I knew things I had never learned before.
Like what?
I could attend wounds and I knew about concussions, infections, injections… But it was nothing compared to what I experienced with you…
What do you mean?
Receiving all these images didn't hurt with you… I mean, not physically and I don't recall any precise event from the nurse's life. I suppose I only kept some memory of her knowledge. Do you think I might still be immune to pain because of the serum you injected me with?
You saw that as well…I guess maybe... I know Jared has developed a certain insensitivity. He is regularly injected with it, before each mission. Jeanne and Wolf too…
So what do you think my skill is?
It's hard to say…Not to mention that the alteration process is different for everyone. Naome thinks...
I winced.
She thought, he started again, the surgical procedure could only enhance what had already been there. Look at Jared, he's always wanted to be influential and listened to. Now he can provoke visions – dreams or nightmares. I also know that Maggy has always been anxious and controlling. Now she can control the elements around her too.
Like you?
Me?
Yes, you've always been very protective towards your brother. Maybe that's why you can hear him…
And with these last word I knew I had gone too far…An image of Kellan resurfaced. The memory of his dad, asking him to care for Jared and his mum while he was away, as he was the most responsible one, and the guilt of having failed the three of them. The best thing to do was to change the subject.
You wanted Stern to think my ability was healing quickly…
Yes, I didn't want her to know I had injected you with the serum. And your tissue needed healing faster after what had happened, not to mention I wanted to avoid your going through surgery again…
She would certainly have suggested it. I didn't know what you were capable of either, I guess I wanted to be the first to find out.
I knew he was smiling. And you knew what the serum would do because of Wolf…
Yes, Jared, Wolf and Jeanne. They're the only ones who have been injected with it so far. Together they are part of the most lethal group I have ever known. They're very dangerous and practically indestructible.
I already knew all this but I didn't have the courage to stop him, his inner voice was so soothing.
But I still needed to ask him: Who made this serum? Who are the twins?
I don't know for sure… Apparently you already know everything I know…
I didn't confirm nor deny this reality.
But Wolf? I never expected him to work with you…
He noticed something was wrong from his very first mission. He's been covering for me a few times when I wanted to explore some offices. Not to mention he is gifted with very heightened senses. Ms. Stern is nothing but thorough, she has always suspected me of not wanting to be a part of her group. She has put an entire surveillance system on every floor to catch her "mole". But they're not really useful against Wolf and his supra hearing and sight. You were talking about the nurse who had checked up on you and you knew about her nursing knowledge, do you remember anything particular that might have provoked it?
Nothing unusual. She asked me if I was okay and I…She had startled me that was all.
Did she say anything in particular? Did she do anything out of the ordinary?
I don't think so, I was removing her hand when it happened.
You touched her?
Yes but…
As I was trying to understand, I remembered her in detail, her hand on my shoulder, mine trying to remove it and the pain it had caused. Stern made me touch your hand on the first day, do you think she knows?
I think she suspects something, maybe she saw something when she watched the footage. Bochi will certainly keep an eye on you too. You need to be as discreet as possible, you can't take any risk.
Why do you think nothing happened when she made me touch you?
I don't know. But there is a reason, I'm sure of it. We need to find a pattern. What could have provoked your …visions?
Trying to relive the moments before entering Kellan's memory, I started blushing. I was glad he couldn't see me. Then it struck me. Your neck, I touched your neck.
You mean the chip?
Yes, I think it has something to do with it.
I'll see with Wolf if we can meet somewhere safe later or tomorrow, maybe after...
After what?
After… the funeral. I …have to go. Everyone expects me to be there.
Kellan, I…
I know.
What can I do?
Be patient. I think you should stay in your apartment for a while, for your own safety. I'll bring you lunch and we can practice some more this afternoon. If Bochi really thinks you're a healer, he'll expect you to be on your feet quickly. We mustn't raise his suspicions. Get some rest now. You must be pretty shaken up. I'll contact Wolf.
Okay. After a minute, I added: Hey, Kellan?
Yes?
Do you think Stern had Naome killed?
Yes…She had started to ask too many questions. I think Stern took the opportunity to frame you for her death.
I still don't understand why she would do such a thing…
She certainly knew you would blame yourself and be even more cooperative…
Thank you…
Don't mention it. Rest now, your questions will be answered, I promise you…
And I dozed off.
I woke up calmly after what seemed like an eternity. I felt rested and peaceful even after two hours of sleep. No nightmare. What a feat!
I got up in my bedroom which was exactly how I had left it. But somehow the atmosphere surrounding me was different. I didn't know what had brought about this discernible shift but it felt like a whole new world was opening to me.
Kellan. Kellan changed things… As I didn't want him to read me like an open book, I tried to block my thoughts. How do you do that? I knew he could do it with Jared…Let's focus. Empty your head! Block! Now! Breathe in, breathe out…
It was time to check if it had worked.
Kellan, are you there? Can you hear me?
Loud and clear!
Shit!
Nice try with the "blocking" theory but I'm afraid it doesn't work that way.
I could hear him giggle. I felt so embarrassed…You'll have to teach me…I still need some privacy. I went on "talking" to him as I was getting up and ready.
Don't worry, it's not that complicated. The only thing you need is a safe word.
I know, I tried your safe word technique…
It's more like a safe "thought", really… You focus on a thought or on an object that has had a great impact on your life.
You let this thought possess you and invade your mind without any restraint, and I'll be totally unable to hear you.
And if you aren't able to communicate with me afterwards?
As soon as you want me to, I'll be able to hear you, don't worry. At least it's how it works with Jared…
Okay. Let's give it a try. I was wearing a colorful flowered shirt and a pair of shorts with pink flip flops to match my mood.
Wait, I put a tray of food in front of your apartment, I didn't want to wake you. Help yourself first.
Alright, thanks. I thought before repeating to myself stop thinking, stop thinking…
Heading for the tray, I remembered that I needed to pretend I hadn't known anything about it.
My door turned into a translucent circle and I was in the hall again. I looked around to check there was no one and I acted surprised to see food next to my door. I took everything back inside and sat down at my dining room table.
Swallowing my daily portion of energy, I started wondering about a memory fragment that would be of help. Might be the right moment to forget about everything I thought.
Let's see, what are my interests?
Books? I love reading. Why not? Passing in review my whole French lit course, that I had adored, I remembered some good reading. "Le Rouge et le Noir" from Stendhal was great or "Jane Eyre" that I had read for my English course.
I had felt all the innermost emotions the characters had to cope with, from anxiety and doubt to ecstasy and suffering.
I was amazed by my taste for desperate and impossible love.
Maybe love isn't meant to last. People say passionate love never exceeds three years.
I thought humans' emotions were too unpredictable for love to have a happy ending. I had always preferred Emily Brontë's Wuthering Heights for that reason in comparison with other authors. I thought Jane Austen's book endings were totally naïve for example, even if secretly I wished I could live the same big love.
I thought about all the books I had had to read as a student but I found nothing that was sufficient for the task at hand.
I've never had any pets, but maybe I can use an imaginary one? What about animals?
My love for animals? Flowers? The nature? A good movie? ...
It wasn't helping.
Then suddenly, I knew. Rays. Manta Rays. I had been fascinated with them since my childhood. I had looked up every item of info on the net, had watched all the documentaries and given every school presentation on them. I had tried to raise awareness on the global warming issue and its impact on sea life during my whole study program. They're so majestic and graceful. When you see them move, it's like they were flying in the ocean. They had given me the incentive to become a marine biologist but I had shelved every plan since my parents' death. I grew up with this desire of swimming with them, caring for them and especially protecting them.
Dozens and dozens of images of rays were flashing across my mind. I imprinted them on, blocking every other thought.
When I opened my eyes, half an hour had passed. K? Are you there?
Are you okay?
Yes, I'm fine. I…I think I've got it, my thought.
Already? It took me three weeks to find a way…Let's give it a try, I'm on my way to pick you up for training. I know a whole bunch of silly jokes. Focus and if I don't hear you laugh, it means it is working.
Or it will mean your jokes are not that good I smiled.
No, no one can resist my jokes…
I could picture him smiling too.
'Three single men are on a deserted island. The first one…'
As he went on telling his joke, I let my mind wander on rays and the ocean, the way they were all letting the current carry them away, the movement of their fins…
As I couldn't hear Kellan anymore, I walked to my entrance door for he had said he was on his way to my place.
"What took you so long, we're late. Let's go!" Kellan was saying almost angrily while thinking, it worked…but you missed all the punch lines.
I'm sure! Another time maybe. When we are out of here…I replied, thinking about us both, free again.
His blue eyes were looking at me with almost carnal intensity. A wave of desire was growing inside of me, burning my every organ, tensing my every muscle. It was no need denying it, I wanted him to kiss me, right here, right now. I wanted to feel his muscular arms around my waist, holding me, pulling me close, and protecting me. I wanted to taste him, smell him, to belong to him and him only.
But I couldn't afford to think of him that way or to let him notice I was blushing. Block your thoughts!
He was the enemy on the ring. I stopped staring and I tried to rest my eyes on something else –his chest instead – maybe not the best of ideas.
I could see sweat pearling down his arms and neck. But I wouldn't be that easily distracted or easy to defeat.
He had understood it as I had proven I could be a strong adversary for the past half hour – a decisive advantage of having learned all his technique with my journey through his memory.
Boxing, karate, judo, swordsmanship with kendo, stick fighting… had no more secret to me.
He would have to try another tactic and not hold back to be victorious.
I was ready for his next move. I saw his right hand slowly forming a fist and anticipated the blow, I ducked down before he could reach me. But as I was trying to stand up again I saw his right knee dangerously aiming at my face. I quickly rolled on the other side to avoid it and back flipped to stand up.
"You've improved", he said.
"I'm a fast learner" I lied.
You need to hold back or you'll be compromised. You could never have made so much progress in twenty-four hours. Don't forget that they're watching us.
Oh, yes, you're right.
Just when I was building the necessary confidence to attack, Kellan's right foot kicked my left knee and a sharp sound irradiated from my whole leg. I lost my balance and collapsed, still blocking his next blow with my right arm.
When he realized it might be a serious injury, Kellan bent on one knee and asked "Are you okay?"
He had started inspecting me, holding my hip with one hand and checking my entire leg with the other. I think it's dislocated, you should be crying in pain. Kellan thought.
"Aaah" I shouted as he tried to move my leg again.
"Let's call it even for today. You need to go to the nursery wing." he added.
"I can't move…" I hadn't had the time to finish my sentence as he was already carrying me in his strong arms, one supporting my back, the other holding my legs. I put my right arm around his neck and let him carry me to the door.
When I understood that he wasn't heading for the right direction, I asked Where are you going? The elevator is that way and Bochi's on the eighth floor…
I don't want thispervertto touch you ever again. He will want to take some more blood samples…"I would like Wolf to have a look at you first. He's training here too. He has some qualities that might help us find out what is wrong with your knee." Anyway I want to check a theory.
Which theory?
You said that when you had your first flashes you were in a lot of pain, right?
Yes.
I know the chip indicates any pain or suffering you're going through even if you don't feel it. Bochi knew something happened when you touched my chip. He said he had recorded activity.
So, if we want Stern or Bochi to remain unsuspicious of your real ability, we will have to inflict you with pain and another person's memory to revive at the same time. The chip will record a peak of activity.
They'll think it was provoked by pain only. You will have to fake it of course. This way we might succeed in understanding the extent of your skills and hiding the fact that I injected you with the serum at the same time.
Smart! Let's try it.
Wolf must be in his training room. Let me do the talking.
Yes Sir!
Don't "yes Sir" me. He was laughing inwardly.
I couldn't say the prospect of invading Wolf's mind was really attractive but I was willing to know more about what the alteration process had changed in me.
"If it's dislocated, can you put it back into place?" Kellan was asking Wolf.
"I could try but it will hurt like hell…"
He was still observing my knee as I was on the floor, my back against a wall in his training room.
He is concerned for my well-being now? I thought.
Don't judge him too harshly. We both needed to pretend… and he saved me more than once. Be ready to touch his chip and don't forget to scream…
"Okay, Faith, do not move, Wolf will be as quick as possible. Go ahead!" Kellan added, nodding at Wolf. "At the count of three. One…Two…Th…"
Kellan didn't have the time to finish counting, I touched Wolf's neck before he could pronounce anything else and yelled at him at the same time.
But even faster than before, my head was spinning and I was swept along by a whirlwind of thoughts and feelings.
I could distinguish Wolf and Kellan as the dense bank of fog surrounding me was slowly dispersing. They were whispering in the dark enclosed space I had already seen in Kellan's memory.
"Is she okay?" Wolf asked. But I could feel he wassincerely worried this time which I had doubted through Kellan's recall of events.
"Pretty shaken up, but she is doing fine considering what she's been through. She is strong. But that's not why I called you… Something's happened…"
"Yes, I can sense your concern…" Wolf answered.
I can sense it too. A great surge of adrenalin swept through Wolf, I recognized the feeling.
"I think I know what surgery altered in her…"
"Well, tell me…"
"She touched my chip and took on my power…"
"You mean she can hear your brother?"
"No, she can hear me, we can communicate the way I do with Jared…"
"Has it happened with anyone else?" Wolf asked intrigued.
"Yes, with a nurse… after a single touch of her hand."
"If Stern finds out, she is finished. She will end up as a lab rat." Wolf added.
"I know… I know. It's why I would like to make sure no one finds out. But first you have to promise me something. You'll have to protect her, if anything happens to me…"
"Don't worry about it. So how do you want to check your theory?"
The images rapidly tarnished and I went on floating blindly. Why did you choose to help Kellan?
A flash of light, then nothing. It was dark but I could see shadows moving, advancing towards us. They were holding machine guns in front of a big facility.
"They're here. Wait for my signal…" Wolf was whispering to Jeanne and Jared.
First mission. Nigeria. Save innocent prisoners, I thought.
Jeanne was already standing, ready to attack.
"Wait!" Wolf was worried and very protective towards her, he didn't want her to be hurt.
Not listening to him, she removed her gloves and put her hands up. I had never witnessed such a thing; sparkles were coming out of her palms leaving the sky a very dark place. She had alerted the guards who were now running to us.
It was like she had absorbed all the energy, from the stars and the moon.
Jared was looking at her too and I could smell his fear and fascination at the same time.
He quickly used his ability to blind the guards to their presence. Even in the absence of immediate danger, Jeanne turned her palms against them.
They hadn't had the time to scream, one man's flesh was already melting as all the energy Jeanne had in her hands was directed to him. She was leaving a scent of roasted meat behind. I could feel bile in my throat as utter disgust was filling me.
The scenery turned into smoke…
"Here is your money. Good job."
"It's my pleasure doing business with you".
Wolf overheard Stern and an African general talking far off.
He was two miles away…
Wolf, why did you decide to come here? Tell me…
The devastating tornado of his feelings took me to this place Wolf was reluctant to witness again.
There were images of Jeanne, everywhere, all around me. She was teasing him, flirting with him, inopportunely touching his hand still wearing her gloves…and I felt sadness and pain swelling, mixed with a sense of hope and deep affection.
The flow of images stopped and I entered the last one. It was loud, people were screaming and laughing. Wolf was watching the ocean from a pier. Behind him the sunset was illuminated by plenty of lights, coming from a big wheel. There was an enormous roller coaster too…
Santa Monica.
Wolf was helpless that night, helpless and frightened and his feelings were mine once more. He wanted to stop, and start afresh. He just didn't know how. Jump. Now…before it's too late. he was thinking.He was gripped by the throat and saw only one way out: suicide.
I knew the feeling well but somehow Wolf's heart was heavier than mine had been.
"Excuse me. I'm a bit lost, could you help me?" It was Jeanne, again. Jeanne and her French accent.
What now? Wolf and I both thought. He turned around and his heart skipped two beats.
She is so gorgeous... Everything turned into a dim blur.
The light was weak, all the lamps were protected by towels, and curtains were drawn. Wolf was at a wooden table counting money. Or rather he let a machine do it for him.
I heard noise in the kitchen – another man. He arrived all dressed in black and spoke to him in Spanish. Somehow I understood every word.
"Hey Wo, check this out, new liquid blow. Pedro wants us to try it."
"I'm busy here José!"
"Come on man…" José was looking at him with red-rimmed eyes.
"Give me a minute…" Wolf and I recognized excitement coursing through his veins, excitement and hidden disgust for he had become what he hated the most…
He was in a small apartment.
Mi casa.
It was warm and full of smoke. He couldn't breathe. Wolf was hungry, he went out of the bedroom, through the half opened door, to see his mum. She was all sleepy again, Pedro's hands were all over her unmoving body, his cigarette burning in the ashtray.
Wolf glimpsed at the needle on the sofa…
"¿Qué vamos a comer?" he asked Pedro.
On Pedro's left shoulder I could clearly see a tattoo: number thirteen and a skull.
Pedro had always frightened Wolf but he was starving… He decided to approach him.
"Don't come over here you moron. What are you good for? You only eat and shit all day long, you're not even old enough to work for me." He was yelling at little Wolf in Spanish. "Get the hell out!" he cried out as, he slapped him once again.
My head was throbbing but I felt relieved to see Kellan in front of me.
My pulse was racing and I was consumed by too many emotions, mine and Wolf's. My head started spinning, I was receiving too much information at the same time. The light was too bright in here, I closed my eyes, putting the palm of my left hand on my forehead to check I wasn't feverish. I felt dizzy and disgusted, probably by what I had seen.
I tried to find my composure by breathing in and out calmly but all I could hear were waves, somewhere – all around me – giant waves crashing on the shore. A faint thud, then ten, twenty, thousand, millions of thuds in my head. It smelled like dust and sweat, salty wind and…
"Faith, are you okay?" I could sense Kellan's worry.
"I think I'm gonna be sick" was all I could say before turning my head on the other side, emptying all the content of my stomach after a single gulp.
"Wolf, bring her a glass of water" Kellan ordered.
He was holding my hair in a ponytail which gave me yet another reason to flush with embarrassment.
Faith, what's wrong?
Too much, I see too much, there is too much noise…Can you turn the lights off?
He stood up. I heard his steps resonating in my head and a single bang.
The lights weren't so bright now. Better… I thought.
Do you think it worked? he asked.
Yes, it did…but it's a nightmare now. Everything seems heightened.
It must be your senses. Wolf stayed in his bed for a week before being able to talk to anyone. But you've had the serum, it should help…
It was easier inside his head. I thought, almost immediately regretting it.
What do you mean?
It was almost like I could navigate through his past and select where I wanted to go this time. Even if I can recall all the details of his life and still taste the bitterness of all his emotions now…This last thought I kept to myself.
Wolf was giving me a bottle of fresh water and I gratefully took a sip. It felt better but his memories were still resonating in my head.
I don't know how he did it.
Did what?
Survive everything; his past, his operation, his skills. It seems like a curse to me.
I was looking at him, full of understanding for what Wolf had been through. He had never had any choice, even when he had been working for Pedro.
Wolf glanced at me then at Kellan, as if asking if his theory had been proven.
"Help me up, please" I said, asking Wolf to give me a hand.
I held his arm and my index drew an imaginary number thirteen on his left shoulder to make him understand that I knew of his unbearable suffering. He had his tattoo removed during alteration surgery but I knew the recall of what it had represented was still alive in his head, he was still crushed by guilt.
Wolf took a step back, eying me in panic.
"It's okay, I'm not going to be sick again, I promise. It was too painful, that's all…" I hoped he would understand that he didn't have to feel ashamed.
"Let's take you back to your bedroom now." It was Kellan, he sounded full of worry, his voice echoing in my head once more.
Leaving the elevator with my two bodyguards who were still pretending to help me walk, I felt like a newborn. I could see now, really see – the cameras – symbols for all the lies beneath the surface.
My God, Kellan, there is video surveillance everywhere. I can see everything now. You were right...
I know…We need to find out what Stern's agenda is and we need to obtain proof…
I could touch her…it's the only way to be sure…
It's too risky Faith, if she ever finds out what you're capable of, she'll want to use you…
We need to make sure she never does find out…but think about it, you know I'm right.
I'll think about it. he said to me whereas I knew he wouldn't even consider it.
Two minutes afterwards I could hear steps in the distance. Stop! I shouted in my head.
Kellan pretended to need to rest. What is it?
There is someone in front of my door…Wait, two people. I can hear them.
I was looking at Wolf who was nodding, he had felt their presence too of course.
I focused on where that sound had come from.
Somehow the scent invading my nostrils was familiar – strawberry soap and sweat. This person had been working out. Then it hit me.
It's Maggy and I think I know the other person too. The other smell was stronger – bleach and a lot of perfume, vanilla. Bochi's assistant, shit.
We need to buy some time, let me do the talking, Kellan replied.
"Ah there you are. Professor Bochi would like to see you, Faith, this instant." Bochi's assistant said meeting us halfway.
"I'm afraid he will have to wait. She is in no condition to see him." Kellan answered with strength even if his pounding heartbeat was betraying him.
Kellan and Wolf both continued carrying me to my door where Maggy was still waiting, looking at the floor.
"His orders were clear, I…" the assistant pursued, still following us, but she was to be quickly cut off by Kellan.
"It's enough." Kellan stopped holding me and turned around to face her. "Stern gave me clearance to train her. She is my apprentice. Let's go to her office now! I won't tolerate any more interference."
"It...It won't be necessary." she answered still hesitantly.
"Tell him she'll be there for her appointment, as usual."
"I will." Bochi's assistant said before disappearing around the corner with her nervous steps, the sound of her clicking high heels still echoing in my head long after she had gone.
Maggy was still looking down when we arrived in front of my apartment.
I could feel Wolf and Kellan become uncomfortable, not knowing what to say.
"Guys, Maggy can help me to my bed. She's got it from here. Thanks."
Wolf nodded and left without any comment.
Are you sure about this? Kellan asked.
Yes, she won't hurt me. I promise.
I won't be far, if you need me, just call. he said then left.
Maggy took my arm and put it around her neck. I was careful not to touch her chip.
I couldn't do this to Maggy, not to her.
But above all, I couldn't resign to stealing another person's memories and life.
We entered.
She put me delicately to bed, still in ominous silence. She sat down slowly, next to me.
My new gifts made me aware of the extent of surveillance they were putting us under.
I spotted two cameras in my hall, one in my back, above my head and I could hear recording devices everywhere.
It was time to break this heavy silence between us.
"What's wrong Maggy? You, being that awfully silent, that's a first!" I smiled.
"I'm…I'm sorry it took me so long to come….but I…"
"Don't apologize, I understand…I… I'm so sorry…"
"I know it was an accident, you must feel awful…"
"I'm okay…" I lied.
"How can you say that? You're not okay, I can see it on your face. And you're limping again. You…"
"No, it's not what you think, I…I got injured during training."
"Don't lie to me, please. Look at you! What have they done to you? I barely recognized you when I saw you. You must be in so much pain… You can't stay here, Faith… after what happened to Naome…they will destroy you."
This conversation was going the wrong way, I didn't want Maggy to risk her life by protecting mine.
"I'm fine, I promise you."
"I don't understand why Stern let this happen… She said you were meant to save us all."
K, we need to tell her the truth. I thought.
Don't! You don't know if you can trust her.
Yes, I do. She's my friend…
You don't know how she will react. You're taking a considerable risk.
Please, trust me on this. "Don't say that Maggy…" I went on. I needed to tell her without Stern knowing. Suddenly I had an idea.
"You know what? Let's meet tonight, just us girls."
"I… Are you sure? I mean…You must be exhausted…"
"I need to take my mind off it…Come on, just like in the old days?"
"Well…Okay…"
"Let's meet in your loft?"
"Alright. I'll let you rest now. See you later then…"and she left me with only two hours to get rid of surveillance.
As I was entering the hall after a fake nap, my indomitable spirits were immediately dampened by the changes I could read on my timetable:
7th JulyMedical appointments will be postponed until 11'00 due to Naome Drest's funeral.
12'30-2'30 fighting,
3'00-5 p.m. training 2
8th July 9'30 a.m. Dr. Bochi,
10'30 - 12'30 training 1,
2-6 p.m. training 2.
9th July surgery
Kellan, Stern has scheduled my surgery on 9th July… She threatened me with it, after what I did to Naome… I never thought it would be that soon…
I know, it is what I was afraid of. I'm just outside her office…
Bochi didn't appreciate my refusal to let him see you. She said she would sort it out with me when she is back. Don't worry, this bitch won't touch you ever again. I'll find a solution…
You mean she is leaving? It gives us forty-eight hours. I said, crushed by despair.
I will have found a solution before that. Are you going to Maggy's now?
Yes. Are you sure they won't be able to hear me?
Wolf did what you asked, you have an hour. But remember they can still see you…I left some food in front of your door. I figured you would be hungry…
Thank you…I didn't add anything else, letting the news of Naome's funeral and my second operation sink in.
I arrived in front of Maggy's door with a tray full of bread, cheese and olives – grateful for Kellan's choice – but distrustful for I had sensed that someone else was inside with her.
Someone that fast? It could only be one person. Maybe it was better this way, at least he wouldn't remain in the dark.I reluctantly knocked at the door, not knowing how Ben would react and saw him in front of me two seconds later.
"Hey Ben… I'm…I…"
He suddenly put my tray aside and hugged me tightly saying "Happy to see you sister…Come on in."
I smiled as he was releasing me, spotting only one camera in the hall. The surveillance was drastically reduced in this apartment as I expected.
Maggy was on her sofa, a bowl of popcorn in her hands. "What would be a girls' night without good snacks?" she asked, smiling too.
I sat down next to her, putting the tray on her living-room table, my back at the camera.
Ben followed.
When they both maintained a stony silence, I suggested "Maybe we could watch a movie?"
"Good idea" said Ben. "Have you got anything new Maggy?" he asked inspecting her 4D movie collection. "Or maybe a classic? Cloud Atlas?"
"Great!" she answered.
The familiar room turned into a real – or almost real – landscape once more. I was sure I would never tire of being in the audience. The movie started.
"Wait, there no sound" Ben said, standing up, ready to troubleshoot once more.
"Ben, sit down and pretend everything is normal…" I quickly said.
"Faith, what's going on?" It was Maggy this time.
"I'm sorry Maggy. I couldn't lie to you any longer. We don't have much time. Look natural and don't turn around. There's a camera in our back."
"I don't understand…A camera?" she asked.
"They're watching us…"
"Who are you talking about? How do you know?" asked Ben, slightly turning around.
"Ben, stay still, please. Trust me…I'll explain everything in a minute."
"I give you thirty seconds for old times' sake, then I'm out of here" he finished.
"Stern is not who she says she is. She lied to us all. Stern Corporation is not working for the United States. They're a private organization working for the highest bidder."
"How can you say that?" Maggy asked.
"I saw it."
"Where?" Ben continued.
"It's complicated, I…" I tried to explain myself.
"First Naome, then this! If you think we're going to believe you without proof, you've got another think coming!" he replied.
"It's my ability…" I answered, bitter by his change of attitude.
"Your ability? I thought nothing had changed since your last appointment? Or did you lie about that too…?" said Maggy.
"No, I've just discovered what it is. I…I can take someone else's ability, use it as my own."
"How?" It was Ben this time.
"With a single touch for normal humans, but I need to have a physical contact with a chip for it to work on a supra."
"You said that you saw Stern was lying…" Ben continued.
"Once I touch someone or someone's chip I take on everything; their ability, their emotions, and memories…I live everything they have but in a few seconds. I saw Stern in someone else's memory."
"Whose?" asked Maggy.
"I can't tell you that…I promise I wouldn't…"
"Prove it…" It was Ben again.
"You need to inflict me with pain at the same time so Bochi doesn't become suspicious of my data…"
"I don't understand…" Maggy continued. "Stern regularly sends Jeanne and Jared on missions… They were in India after the earthquake…they saved all these people…"
"I know you're scared but you have to believe me. Stern has been using you, all of us, just for money. And it is just the top of the iceberg. God only knows what else she's up to. We need to stop her."
Ben suddenly stood up, his back to the camera.
"I'm sorry, I'm not buying any of it. Maggy, do what you want, but I'm out of here…"
"Ben I wouldn't lie to you…" I said, trying to convince him. But it was too late, Ben was already out of Maggy's apartment.
"Maggy, what do you want me to do? I can leave too if that's what you want…" I asked her, still not moving my head. I could sense she was submerged with sadness and anger.
"Show me…" she finally said.
"Are you sure?"
"Yes, do it now before I change my mind!"
"Okay, you need to hurt me."
"How?"
"My knee… pretend to lean on it for a second and let me touch your neck. I will shout to make it more plausible, don't be afraid…you won't really hurt me..."
As Maggy was pretending to want to leave the room, she pushed herself up, with her right hand on my injured knee.
I started shouting and I pretended to push her away, touching her neck before being once more carried along in someone else's life…
Show me where you come from Maggy… Show me the very beginning.
Sand, an ocean of sand was the first image forming in front of me, followed by a dozen of wooden bungalows in a circle. It was warm here, warm and dry. Utah.
Rare were the trees giving resting shadows to the village. On a hill, slightly on my left, I could distinguish a big red-brick house. I could hear a plaintive cry in this otherwise silent vision.
I left the window from which I had just had a glance at the village and turned around. There was a woman resembling Maggy, lain on a bed. She was shabbily dressed. She was alone, having given birth to a beautiful baby girl she was rocking in her arms.
The ray of sun entering the only window of this bedroom was blinding me. I was leaving them already.
The next picture I was invited in was depicting the same bedroom where Maggy had been brought into the world.
She seemed peaceful, not older than six. Next to her, a little boy playing with rags.
Jonah.
I could feel Maggy's protective instinct towards her brother. No one would touch Jonah under her supervision, not a single soul.
Her mother was pregnant again and wasn't strong enough to raise them both.
Maggy wasn't much older than Jonah – there was just a one-year difference between them.
But the prophet had chosen her.
Who's the prophet Maggy?
All the colors vanished into thin air.
I sat down on a wooden bench that I was sharing with Maggy and her brother. We were waiting in a sort of sanctuary.
The light here was bright and virginally white. A wooden altar was raised in front of us. There was no painting, no stained glass window, nor cross. The only furniture seemed handmade, forming an absolute safe haven for women and children alike.
Some were running, others were sleeping in their mother's arms, or playing with rags.
They were all dressed soberly with a light-brown tunic or dungarees for the boys. When the prophet – Warren –appeared, they all went silent.
"Welcome to you all on this marvelous Sunday where the Lord has called on us, all of us once more…"
I could feel Maggy's awe for this man – the only one in the assembly – awe mixed with a sense of distrust she was forbidding herself to admit. She would soon be ready to accomplish her duty as a wife for the man the prophet would choose for her – a pure man from their twin congregation. She would give herself to this man once a month and live the rest of her secluded life here, away from temptation, like her mother before her.
Why did you leave them, Maggy? Tell me…
"Jonah? Jonah, where are you?" Maggy was running around in panic, looking everywhere for her brother.
The sky was pitch black and the moon was hidden by looming clouds.
I could feel my throat constrict as warm tears were rolling down on both our cheeks. She had a last place to check before giving way to despair but it was forbidden, she knew it. She didn't care, she had a mission; she had to look after him. She should have woken up when he had left their bedroom but it wasn't like him, sneaking out into the night.
She walked to the red-bricked house where a light was still burning.
She knew there were cameras but it was merely a precaution against prowlers. She felt she needed to avoid being seen, she didn't know why…
She knew the field so well that she managed to find a secured spot next to the window of Warren's house. Strangely, there was light. So late at night? Maggy gave way to her curiosity and looked inside.
She was petrified with horror by what she saw through the slightly opened curtains. A fire was lit and a large crimson red rug was bathing the room in a strange atmosphere. Five familiar faces were gathered in a circle, wearing white nightgowns. Maggy recognized them all; they were her neighbors' daughters, slightly older than her. In the middle of his living room, Warren was lying Lydia, who was motionless and in tears, on the blanket. Warren was gently caressing her hair when he tore her nightgown apart, showing her nakedness with pride.
Warren got undressed and two seconds afterwards they were somewhat merged into one single entity. Maggy had never seen anything like it. When they stopped moving, Warren summoned another girl – Becca – to lie down next to him. He pushed away Lydia, who was still crying, and she retired in a corner of the room.
Maggy knew what she had just witnessed was morally wrong, every cell of her body did. I could feel outrage and disgust rising in her, she had to do something. She slowly stood up when she felt a hand on her mouth, restraining her every movement.
She tried to struggle with the stranger but he was too strong and Maggy didn't dare call for help, she didn't want Warren to know what she had seen.
Her kidnapper carried her several feet away, still holding her mouth tightly shut with his hand.
Warren wouldn't be able to hear them now…
Maggy bit deep into his hand and turned around to kick him when she realized it was Jonah, trying to contain his anger in a muffled voice.
"Jonah, I'm sorry…What…What are you doing here?"
Right behind him, almost invisible in the night, I distinguished another shadow – Sophie.
"We're getting out of here. I…I won't let him touch Sophie…" Jonah explained.
"You knew? For how long?" Maggy asked still shocked.
"Several weeks now…I couldn't sleep one night and saw what he did to those girls… In his house…I…I can't stay here anymore. We've been planning to leave tonight…"
"Without letting me know…?"
"I didn't know how to explain it to you…I…We would have come back for you…Before it's too late."
"How do you know he won't try to lure me into his house?"
"You need to start bleeding to be a part of the fertility ceremony. My mom told me…" It was Sophie this time.
"Bleeding? I don't understand…"
"You need to be a woman and be mature enough to conceive a child. My first bleeding started two days ago…I've been trying to conceal it but mother saw me…I don't want to end up like this…" She was on the verge of tears now.
"Jonah, we don't know what's on the other side… Maybe what they told us about what's beyond the mountain is right…"
"I don't believe a single word this man said. It doesn't feel right Maggy…"
Maggy suddenly hugged her brother tightly and whispered in his ear "Be careful…"
"Always am." he answered. "Come with us Maggy…"
"What about Maddie, Glen and the others? I can't leave them behind…" she said thinking about her other siblings. "Go now, good luck to you both…"
Sadness and grief started enveloping me as a gust of wind was erasing this last image.
I could barely breathe here. There was sand on my lips, in my nostrils, everywhere. We were soaked up by the noonday sun. Another circle had formed in the middle of the village. Warren was holding a book in one hand.
"We are all gathered here today to witness the judgment of these two individuals who have broken the very essence of this congregation; our trust…They disobeyed and left without warning their families in the only purpose of fornicating.
They have been defiled by lust and therefore are in Satan's hands. We cannot allow these two to further soil our community…"
"Mum, say something…Mum, it's Jonah, you know he would never do something like this…"
It was Maggy begging in her mother's ear. She couldn't believe her indifference to what was happening in front of them.
Jonah and Sophie were holding each other's hand, Sophie was weeping while Jonah was looking defiantly at the crowd.
"Therefore God the Almighty, through my hands, will purify those souls by our most powerful weapon, fire…" Warren continued speaking while heading for a jerry can on the porch of one of the houses.
"Nooooo…" Maggy shouted while Warren was pouring gasoline over their head.
Maggy's other siblings were now restraining and silencing her.
"Let God the Powerful cleanse these evil spirits and bring them to His sanctuary…"
Warren took a lighter out of his left pocket.
Maggy threw a last glance at her brother who muttered an ultimate sentence to her: "I love you…"
He encircled Sophie in his arms and closed his eyes.
Warren lit the fire.
An odor of burning flesh invaded my nostrils and my ears were filled with the sound of Sophie's screams.
A torrent of anger unleashed in Maggy as she promised herself to kill the monster who had fathered her and her siblings.
The sunlight turned into infinite sparkles, leading me to another fragment of her past.
Maggy was in the circle now, with four other girls – two of them crying, the others silent – a knife hidden between her legs.
She knew Warren would choose her first, for her behavior during her brother's ordeal. She had waited for this moment, for six months.
She lay down as ordered, and discreetly hid the knife under the rug while he was slowly getting undressed, facing her sisters.
When Warren appeared to be stark naked he approached her and tore off her nightgown. She opened her legs, knowing that resisting would only increase his excitement. He was leaning over her now, ready to possess her – she could smell his heavy breath – when she violently hit his neck with the knife she had concealed and secretly sharpened for weeks.
Once, twice, three times.
She could taste his blood on her tongue, her body now concealed with a layer of ruby red.
Maggy could read surprise in the monster's eyes – surprise and fear for what was to come. She stood up and he knelt before her, his hands covering his wound. But nothing could stop gushes of blood from streaming out of his neck, forming a pool around him. He collapsed on his wet blanket.
The other girls looked aghast, rooted to the spot, and unable to say anything, some stifling their shrill scream with their hands on their mouth.
After hearing the monster let out his last breath, Maggy addressed her sisters: "Run now, and never look back."
As she exited the living room, the knife still in her hands, I could sense Maggy's disgust for what she had done. She would never be able to undo it, or to forget it. She was cursed.
The whole scene turned into a wave of blood.
How did you end up here?
The dizzying red image surrounding me slowly shifted into brown and finally green. Walnut, elm and oak trees formed an almost human barrier in this peaceful landscape.
Maggy was moaning in her sleep. She was only covered by a sleeping bag. I knew her feelings so well – devastating guilt and abject horror. She woke up suddenly, screaming.
I saw a boy running to meet her. Oh my… it was Toby. With long hair, no glasses but I recognized him instantly.
"Another nightmare?" he asked Maggy. But she didn't replied. Instead of questioning her, he gave her what he had been hiding in his pocket.
"Nice catch today. You should have seen this guy, a total jerk. He didn't even protest when I stole his wallet." Toby was emptying the content of it on the ground, looking for money, when he eyed something silver and sparkly.
A business card.
Maggy saw it too and picked it up.
"SC? What does it mean?" she asked.
I opened my eyes still in dreadful shock. I didn't care about the cameras anymore, I needed to hold her.
I took Maggy in my arms and hugged her, as close as I could, so close I sensed that she was totally at loss.
So I broke my embrace to enlighten her on my behavior: "I've never met anyone so brave... I… I wish I had your courage and your strength. Don't feel guilty for what you did for you saved all those girls." I saw her face turn as white as a sheet.
She wanted to say something but the sound was turned up at this exact moment and we could both hear Halle Berry recite her lines with passion.
I shook my head to silence her and we both faced the mythical characters of Cloud Atlas.
But this time, I was holding her hand while she was silently crying. I had so much difficulty in containing my anger at all the suffering she had had to endure – the light started flickering on and off.
I was sensing people approaching at the end of the hall.
Kellan, they're coming for me. It's…shit, it's Bochi.
I'm on my way. Hang on.
Soon afterwards someone was banging on the door.
Maggy looked at me enquiringly. "Who could that be? It's late…"
I shrugged, knowing exactly who was coming for me.
Maggy opened the door and Bochi burst in, accompanied by his secretary and a man I had never seen before. I could feel their tension and anger rising.
"You're coming with me now. Your chip has recorded another peak." Bochi said coldly.
"It's nothing, don't worry. Wolf already fixed my knee…" I tried to explain.
"Let me be the judge of that…I'm in charge when Stern is away."
And seeing that I wasn't moving, Bochi, apparently furious, gripped my hand without any warning. My eyes rolled upwards and I was overwhelmed with feelings and images I could not control this time.
I didn't want to be here, I didn't want to be the witness of Bochi's sordid life. But the scenery I was looking at turned out not to depict any of the sordidness I had expected. And maybe this time I would be able to navigate in his memories as I wished.
Professor Bochi – William – had had an ordinary childhood but had an extraordinary brain. He had always felt out of place, totally alien to this world. Chemistry, physics, biology, mathematics…
He mastered everything, had skipped several years to obtain his degree in neuroscience in his twenties.
Each succession of images was similar to the previous one: William studying, at the school library, at his parents' house, in his dorm. The only difference was his physical appearance that slightly evolved.
He had no friends, no siblings, nor girlfriend, barely communicated with his parents for whom he had only disdain for their lack of education. Knowledge had been his pursuit.
I witnessed his first surgery, the second, the third and all those following. He had been the most famous and youngest neurosurgeon in Europe. He had reigned over all the scheduled brain surgeries of the most renowned hospitals for decades.
His knowledge had now become mine. I knew how to remove brain tumors – which ones to remove, which ones to leave intact – I knew how to perform a trepanation on six-month-old babies or fix craniostenosis, I knew how to perform an awake surgery to check the language function of the brain…
But why? Why have you come here? I was slowly regaining control over my visions…
"Let's face it William, your hands are not as steady as they used to be…Rafto is your best student. He is a great surgeon. We think it's time you took early retirement before losing your edge…"
Wrath was mounting, destroying everything on its way. Bochi left without uttering a single word. They seemed too obsolete. He left and never came back.
In the hall he took a last glance at the card he had received two weeks before – a silver card, with no name on it – only two letters…The familiar blur took over.
They were both in her office.
"You know I'm right. Look around you. Life on Earth is no longer sustainable because of humanity or the lack thereof.
We need to act now. My program would ensure the survival of the best of us. We need human beings to be generous, open-minded, and respectful, with a sense of honor and bravery. We could do it. We could start from scratches and reshape a world that is meant to survive. You and I… Avenging my people and yours too…" Stern was explaining, two files on her desk, one of them entitled C.A.N.D.E.L.S., an acronym for Children of Auschwitz Nazi's Deadly Lab Experiments Survivors.
"What's in it for me?" Bochi asked her even if I could already feel this idea slowly preying on his mind.
"You get to practice as long as you want and pass along your knowledge to others, plus an indecent amount of money each month. You'll be in charge of the surgeries in these premises and I'll be in charge of the recruits, leading the program."
As he was remaining silent, she added:
"This could be it, you know…What do you think?
"Why me?" he asked hesitantly.
Instead of giving any reason whatsoever, she handed him one of the files on her desk.
It was a yellowed file that he slowly opened, not understanding her gesture.
In it, we could read the surgical details of an external CFS drainage on a little girl who had suffered from hydrocephalus, and, at the bottom of the last page, Bochi's signature.
As he was looking at her with intense eyes, she didn't fail to notice his surprise and admiration. Jilla Ernst had been her name then.
"I owe you my life and so much more…" she stopped there.
A strong wind took the images away and I was quickly transported somewhere else.
I was in an operating room now, I recognized the white walls and surgical tools on a tray. In front of me a limp body was on the surgical table, his face down – the familiar machines linked to tubes coming out of his arms. Jared. He wasn't even moving while Bochi was drilling a hole in the visual area of his skull. Fifth attempt. Make it work, make it work… Bochi's thoughts were loud and clear.
I knew the exact procedure, I knew he was about to insert the needle next to stimulate unused parts of Jared's brain. I knew excessive bleeding was the major risk of this surgery.
It had been the cause of his last failure.
I also knew he had been too impatient the first times, inserting the needle too deeply, causing brain damage to almost all of his patients.
I could feel his excitement at the prospect of succeeding. Everything turned into a blur.
The next surgery was similar to the first one, but this time it was Kellan's.
Professor Bochi was already inserting the needle into his Wernicke's area – center of his language comprehension – animated by the same hope and fascination he had had during his twin brother's surgery. If these two operations were to be successful and his creations viable, he would have ensured himself an even brighter future, he thought.
Dread was filling me when I noticed Kellan's sudden arrhythmia and I became frantic, his body having suddenly been replaced by another one.
This new body gave up fighting without letting Professor Bochi perform CPR.
The person I saw next on the table never woke up after surgery.
Every new image gave way to another, each surgery to a new one. The only different element was the position of the patient's head and the zone where Bochi's potentially fatal drill occurred.
Then it was Jeanne's turn.
I was amazed at how little information Bochi had about his patient. He was just interested in the groundbreaking aspect of each surgery but he no longer saw any of them as real human beings.
After having successfully used the Somatosensory Area on Jeanne, he tried the Sensory Area on two patients before succeeding with Wolf.
As for Ben, he was an immediate success. It was Bochi's first attempt to drill in the Cerebellum – center to the motor section of the brain – and it rapidly proved to be efficient. Ben's hands were already moving so rapidly when he woke up…
Three other surgeries failed before Toby's Higher Mental function alteration, three young people died in the name of a supposedly scientific discovery to improve the future and our lives.
Maggy's surgery was the most painful to watch.
Her heart had been on the verge of giving up several times.
Her operation had been so similar to Toby's, both involving the frontal lobe but not at the same place. This was intentional of course. Bochi was detailing every surgical procedure in his files, with the intent of controlling the outcome of each alteration. But no matter what he tried to accomplish, nothing turned out to be what he had expected, as if these surgeries had a mind of their own.
Then I sensed a shift, in him, in his work.
He was getting impatient, piercing two different holes in each patient's skull now. It was never enough.
None of the following 'volunteers' survived the surgical trauma but he still wanted more…
Two cavities became three, still no survivor.
So many deaths for one man's vanity, it was outrageous.
I recognized myself on the table now, my skull partially shaved.
I was filled with horror, and curiosity, for I was about to witness what this bastard had done to me.
He started piercing a hole in my frontal lobe and inserted a needle, deeply. He removed it and started the procedure all over again, but this time, on another part of my brain – the Cerebral cortex. Then he turned to the Parietal lobe, the Occipital one, the Temporal lobe and the Cerebellum.
How did I survive all this?
The next image showed me how careful he was to apply a special ointment to cover the consequences of his butchery, on all but one area.
Wait, maybe he knows.
Are there others, others like me?
I suspected he didn't know for his memory showed me absolutely no clue…
Everything turned black, as black as night, when I got to see his last operation; Naome's.
Oh my God, not her, not her…
Bochi was in front of me, trying to replicate the exact procedure he had used on me, inserting his needle still deeper.
Quickly I was startled by the machine beeping, signaling her flat line. Naome Drest was gone…and I had witnessed her murder.
Why? Why her? I was repeating to myself, but I already knew who had been behind it.
I woke up with a start to find Bochi exactly where I had left him, next to me, so close.
This was when I lost control.
I stood up, shouting at him. I was frantic. "You bastard! You killed her, you bastard! You murderer! You killed them all!"
I hit him hard in the face, and kicked his right knee with all my strength. I knew exactly where to hit.
His bodyguard tried to stop me but it was no use, I knocked him out, Bochi, already lying on the floor writhing with pain, his leg broken. He wouldn't be able to escape me now.
Bochi's assistant was screaming in horror, and I could hear Maggy shouting my name, asking me what was wrong but I didn't respond.
I saw William was bleeding heavily now, still laying on the floor as I was ready to give him his deathblow.
I was trying to savor this moment for he had destroyed so many lives, mine included. I sat down on his rib cage and gripped his throat, harder and harder. He was making strange noises, blood bubbles coming out of his mouth.
The room was silent now, his assistant had passed out and Maggy had found a comforting spot in a corner, unable to react.
I knew what I was doing, I knew I was strangling him. My hands wouldn't let go until he disappeared from the face of the Earth.
But suddenly I stopped.
I couldn't. I wouldn't have another death on my conscience…
I burst into tears when someone took me in his arms. I knew who it was.
Faith…
He deserves it, K. He did it… He… But I can't. I can't do it.
Faith, what's going on?
I… I was lost, or on the point of losing myself. I started sobbing even more.
Did you see? Did you see what he did to her? He killed Naome, he… He butchered her.
All of a sudden, Kellan released me.
Still in shock, it took me several seconds to notice that we were encircled by a dozen heavily armed men aiming at us. I refused to put my hands up as I had other plans for all of them.
Don't! That's exactly what they want you to do…They must never see what you're really capable of…His thoughts were broken off as one soldier knocked Kellan out.
I felt a pinch on my neck. My eyelids were suddenly so heavy… I was tired…
I gave up fighting and it was my turn to collapse on the floor…
CHAPTER 7 –
Ghostly Past
I opened my eyes, still feeling dizzy. My whole body was cold because of the surface it was lying on, so I decided to sit down. My senses were alert. Everything was dark around me but I was quickly adjusting to the luminosity or, for better words, the absence of it.
K? Oh my Gosh, Kellan. Kellan, can you hear me? Where are you? Why aren't you answering?
I needed to get out of here and find him.
I started observing my surroundings. My cell was fifty square feet and totally empty. There was no bed, no chair, nothing.All I could sense around and under me was water, dark water. We must be deep.
They must have taken me to one of the isolation rooms on the last floor, the thirteenth floor…I had found this item of information in Bochi's mind.
I heard cameras everywhere and something – or someone – else.
I need to find a door.
I started checking the smooth walls imprisoning me, on the lookout for any tiny detail that could hide a way out, but there was nothing. I was alone, once more.
Kellan? "Kellan?" I was screaming his name now, banging on the walls.
"Somebody? Somebody hear me! Come on! Come over here you cowards! Come on!"
Warm tears – of anger and bitterness – were clouding my vision as I went on shouting, calling his name.
After what felt like half an hour, I stopped shouting, there was no use.
I sat down in a corner and held my knees tightly. And I started thinking. I was thinking about the best way to use my new powers.
I could control the elements around me, I could hear, see, taste better than anyone else on Earth and I had now a comprehensive knowledge of the premises where I was locked up.
But I also remembered what Kellan had told me. Maybe he had been right, maybe they wanted to gauge my reactions…
Even though I knew the risks, I couldn't leave him, nor Maggy in Stern's hands. I needed to do something. Think! Think…I was repeating myself and at the same time, I was trying to find a way out. Not finding any, I could still feel the effect of the drugs they had injected me with.
I was suddenly blinded by a powerful bright light and felt a pure surge of adrenalin as I saw Jared with his black eyes in front of me.
Jeanne and Toby were next, looking at me with a murderous look. They had all come from the ceiling, like the mechanism I had used to enter Stern's office – which answered my question as how to get out of here.
Of course Jeanne opened hostilities, not losing time as usual "Poor darling, all alone and crying in the dark?"
"Stop it Jeanne, let's get this over with. Toby?" Jared asked with a penetrating voice.
I felt my feet get off the ground, Toby had stretched out his hand in my direction.
I was stuck in the upper left corner of my prison, my head touching the ceiling. I was unable to move. Stay calm, stay calm.
K, if you can hear me, I'm on the thirteenth floor… K?
"Well Faith, Look at you! I must say I'm not impressed at all. Taking all these measures for a weak little girl?" Jeanne pretended to ask Toby, "I think Stern overestimated you…"
"What do you want from me?" I ventured.
"Well, don't be so surprised, it's payback time, honey. I can't believe my brother let you manipulate him. Toby, a little bit lower would you…" Jared added.
I could feel my back moving against the cold wall, my whole body going down, stopped mid-way to the floor.
"Now you will feel what pain is…" Jeanne was moving her palms in the direction of the hatch they had used to come down here, then back at me. Small bubbles of light were floating down, landing on her. Her sparkling hands became the only source of light in the room. She directed her hands at me. She started laughing delightedly while burning my thighs. The reigning smell was of burnt clothes and flesh. Fortunately, the serum was, still, very effective, I was totally insensitive to pain.
"What's happening, she should be groaning with pain by now..." asked Toby.
"Are you sure you're as powerful as you claim to be?" I said, mocking them all.
Jeanne looked at Toby, furiously, and at me uncomprehendingly. She gave it another try. This time, she aimed at my breasts. I could see and smell my flesh burning, small blisters were forming. But my thighs were already looking better and I knew that the scarred tissue would be gone tomorrow. I didn't even flinch.
"Is that all you've got, Jeanne. I'm disappointed!" I told her. I knew it would trigger an even more violent reaction from her but I couldn't help it. I had had enough of her, of this place, of all the lies.
"You slut, you will see what I'm capable of…" she answered, unable to control herself.
She took some more energy from the lights above her head and redirected her hands at my face this time.
Toby was still immobilizing me and Jared was waiting impatiently when I felt all her rage unfurling.
I needed to be able to see if I wanted to get out of here alive. Nooo… I shouted to myself and closed my eyes.
I felt wind caressing my face.
But instead of burning, my body fell heavily on the floor. I opened my eyes and realized I could still see…
What happened?
In front of me Ben was racked with pain, his torso severely burnt. I bent over and took him in my arms.
"What the fuck, Jeanne? Look at what you've done!" Jared said enraged.
"He's never hurt anybody!" I was looking at her while she was looking at him with terror.
Toby was numb, not knowing what to do while Jared was sitting down next to me, holding Ben too. "Ben, hang in there buddy…I'm sorry…"
I interrupted him "What are you doing here, Ben?"
"M…Maggy said you were telling the truth…I…" he slowly whispered.
"Shhhh… It's okay Ben, you're okay." I was trying to comfort him, and myself.
"I… I looked for you…everywhere…"
"Ben, not you…you shouldn't be here. I'm so sorry…" I apologized.
"It's alright…I…I'm sorry I doubted you…
I…I couldn't…I didn't…Do… what you need to do…and get out of here…please."
Silent tears were slowly trickling down my cheeks as I applied my right hand on his neck.
What do you want me to see Ben?
Baby Ben was wrapped in a blanket.
It was cold – winter was harsh here – and noisy. Cars were honking at every street corner.
He could smell polluted air as his mum was walking, rocking him in his crib.
He couldn't speak but he had felt something awful would happen soon.
A door had closed behind us but the warm air inside failed to reassure him. His mum handed him over to someone he didn't know. He could sense her choking back tears.
"Are you sure?" He heard another woman ask his mum.
She didn't reply. "I love you…" she whispered in his ear before he heard the same door closing again.
He couldn't have been older than eight but Benjamin was already helping his mum – or rather the person he called mum – this time carrying the groceries inside after a long walk back from the supermarket.
As the eldest of five children, he was the only one his mum could count on, especially after his dad's hasty departure. He knew she could be bossy but nothing had justified his choice to leave; nothing except Samuel.
His baby brother had been fighting for his life since leukemia had wiped out any hope for a normal life or an easy one.
Not surprisingly Bill – his old man – had wanted a way out. He was the head of the family now. And with this thought I could feel the heavy sense of responsibility he was burdening himself with.
It was a blur of colors and patterns now…
When I saw Ben next, he was older. But not old enough to do what he was doing – working two jobs just to pay the bills, barely able to cope with the tiredness that such a lifestyle implied but too proud to admit it.
This wasn't the life he had envisioned for himself but he had to forget about design, he knew it. His career choice had always felt odd in his mother's eyes and it strongly contrasted with what a boy of his age and neighborhood was supposed to opt for.
He was going home, late at night after his shift at the restaurant.
The boys were there too of course, filling in the steps of neighboring ramshackle houses, like the piles of garbage filling in their Detroit streets and that no one cared to remove, he thought.
"Hey yo, what's up man?" It was Gibbs, with his large square shoulders and his cap too small for him. "Hey listen, bro,'ve got nice job coming, we're short one man…"
"Thanks Gibbs, I need to go…" Ben quickly replied as he was entering the crowded apartment.
Inside, he bumped into the twins jumping up and down, running around everywhere, shouting, doing everything except listening to their older sister.
"Ruth? What's going on here? Tim, Kyla, sit down now!" he ordered them.
"But we're hungry!" Ruth appeared out of the kitchen.
"Where is mum?" Ben asked.
"She left with Samuel three hours ago… His temperature was too high. There is nothing left to eat and no money in the jar…I…"
"It's okay, I'm going to the store, keep an eye on them, okay?" He left the room bitter, knowing exactly what it meant – hospital bills. He needed to find a solution and quickly.
On his way out, he saw Gibbs again but this time stopped in front of him.
Everything darkened around me…
He was scared and trapped in a chaotic situation he could not rectify anymore. I knew that it was how he was feeling.
Ben was behind the wheels, waiting for Gibbs and RJ – Gibbs' younger brother – in front of the gas station. It was their third night on the road but Ben wasn't getting used to any of it. He was overwhelmed with shame and hadn't been able to watch himself in the mirror lately, not after what he had done.
He knew he had run out of options, he knew it was the only way to save his brother and to feed his family, he had no choice – at least it was what he was trying to convince himself of…
His blood started pulsing hard when he heard another car from a distance.
What are they doing? Come on…Come on…Panic was suddenly mounting in his guts. Hurry…Now.
He rapidly caught a glimpse of Gibbs walking towards him with his dark bag full of their loot.
Ben opened the door and let him sit down at the back of the car. "Where is RJ?" he asked.
"He's coming, no worries bro…"
"Gibbs, we need to get the fuck out."
"Relax, bro. There he is…"
"Man, he needs to hurry…" Ben was almost losing it.
We heard a shot and all of a sudden we saw RJ running out of the gas station shop, his hands empty, calling his brother.Midway he suddenly collapsed, a pool of blood forming around him.
"RJ…" Gibbs was shouting his name.
Panic was troubling both their judgment and ability to act. Gibbs didn't dare get out of the car but Ben couldn't resolve to leave him behind.
He quickly moved and ran to his partner in crime, took RJ in his arms and comforted him. "It's okay, you're gonna be fine. Don't worry. Let me take you to the hospital now."
But when he looked up, Ben saw Gibbs had already switched on the ignition, letting the tires screech in the night…
Ben was alone in his next fragment – alone and blaming himself for everything that had happened the days before.
He wouldn't give them what they wanted, he wouldn't give them Gibbs.
His cell was small and smelled of piss, the walls were painted in a soft gray that failed to hide their purpose. His bed looked a lot like the bunk bed I had slept on my first night in Stern's premises.
He could hear other prisoners cry or whine and he could smell the odor of alcohol impregnated on their clothes, at every exhalation. Everything about this place disgusted him but he was even more disgusted by his acts.
This was it, retribution day. He couldn't sleep, he couldn't close his eyes without being crushed by a feeling of dread.
He could hear footsteps now, of several people walking. He must have been daydreaming for they were sounding like high heels.
In front of him, I recognized Jeanne and Jared.
"Looks like you need company, pretty face…" Jeanne said, already sounding like Stern.
I woke up from these visions, sweating. Even though I knew Stern's recruitment pattern, I truly understood the depth of her victims' disarray as I was living their life through their memories.
I knew what was on Ben's mind now
"I promise I will help them, I won't let your family down…You have my word Ben…" I whispered in his ear, just in time, just before he let out his last breath.
"Noooo…" Jared shouted, still holding Ben's lifeless body and rocking him.
I looked up and saw Toby walking backwards in horror, ready to exit the room.
Jeanne was looking at Jared, not knowing what to do.
It was now or never. I needed to choose between those three to survive…
But could I trust myself with Jeanne's power?
One thing was certain, I couldn't let Toby escape and alert Stern. I pulled him back inside, holding him by his shirt before he had had the time to realize what had hit him.
I had just experienced the extent of my new ability and they were, all three, scrutinizing me with wary eyes. This was when I made up my mind, as Toby was offering me the possibility to destroy the whole facility.
This life was one of a spoilt kid whose rich parents had never grown tired of excessively saying yes to.
Each succession of past events depicted the brand new bikes, clothes, toys Toby had received, immediately followed by the next best thing he absolutely needed to possess.
His indecent lifestyle had attracted the jealousy of others and he had paid the price, being the constant victim of their bullying. He had come home, on several occasions, covering his bruises. He had never been able to talk about it with his parents, for they had never been around. He had never truly known if they would have cared anyway.
His parents had invested in schist extraction, regardless of all environmental issues and had rapidly built their Texan fortune.
The flow of images slowed down and stopped, pausing on one memory.
All three were chatting around a huge table in the middle of their red dining room. The gold chandeliers, tapestries and richly ornate drapes, the famous paintings on the walls: everything exuded enormous wealth and sheer luxury.
"Why not law, honey? He sure could do it…"
"As long as I get to have my own apartment…" said Toby, faking his lack of interest for studies. He knew he could achieve – or buy –anything. He would probably get bored at university as well.
"It's settled then. Anyway, it's your turn to bring money to this family. Your dad needs a rest…" His parents started laughing.
The image turned rapidly into fog…
Night. It was dark all around me.
I was back in Toby's bedroom. He had surprised his parents by spending the night at home, like before. He had wanted to take a break from university, had outgrown the parties and girlfriends, and was certainly bored with the lack of intellectual stimulation he had encountered on campus. He would tell them he was planning to stop in the morning. For now he was looking at his ceiling, smiling because he could hear them laugh in the living room, so late at night.
Then he heard a hushed, a sudden and weird silence fell over the mansion.
Followed by a muffled click sound. It startled Toby.
"No!" He heard his dad scream.
Toby quickly stood up and walked to the hall of the second floor, which formed an open view on the rest of the gigantic house.
That was when he heard men speak aggressively. He decided to hide in the shadow, at the top of the stairs.
His dad was attached to a chair in the middle of the living-room, his face livid, his mom was nowhere to be seen.
"Give us the code, you bastard. Give us the code and we'll let you die quickly, like your wife."
Toby started panicking, silently rocking is body against the wall.
"I don't know what you're talking about…"
"Don't lie to us, Brett told us…"
Uncle Brett? Toby thought.
"Brett is behind this? He's too cowardly to get his hands dirty, huh? Whatever he's offered you, I'll double it…"
"I'm afraid it doesn't work that way…Now speak!" the last man said, inserting a knife in his victim's thighs.
Toby's dad screamed even more.
Toby put his hands on his mouth, to avoid sobbing out loud.
"Okay, okay. Let me catch my breath, let me..."
When his captor showed him the metal of his blade again, Toby's father didn't hesitate "Eileen 23091956. It will give you access to every account but not the safe."
"Don't worry about that, we know where you hid the key and we know where to find the bastard you call son."
"Leave him out of here, he's done no…"
But the first man didn't let him finish his sentence, he simply sliced his throat, cold-bloodedly.
"Okay, let's go. We have what we came for and we need to get rid of them all before dawn."
The intruders both spread gasoline on the drapes, sofas and carpeted floors and one of them lit the fire.
I was watching Toby, stuck in his corner, unable to move, frozen with horror. The flames had almost taken control over the first floor when he reluctantly moved his feet to one of his bedroom windows.
The night engulfed us both.
Toby didn't know where else to go. He was cold and alone, in the dark. He had taken refuge in Post Oak Savannah. No one would find him there.
But even after a week he hadn't got used to the sounds and movements of wildlife. He hadn't dared close his eyes at night, he was starving and dehydrated.
Fishing. He would try it when the sun was up, his dad had taught him…
Dad…His sobs were resonating with bobwhites' peeps.
He woke up, feeling even more drained than a few hours before. He had been so exhausted that he had cried himself to sleep.
But now it was time to move, he needed to or he would die, he knew it.
He stood up and headed for the stream he thought he could hear, flowing fast. He was walking slowly, stumbling every two minutes.
This was when he saw her – his guardian angel – soberly dressed with a long robe, waiting for him on the river bank.
He passed out, calling for her.
I witnessed Maggy carefully walking towards him…
"What the f…?" I could hear Toby's protests as I realized I was back in my cell.
I released him before he could pronounce any other word. I glanced at the cameras around me knowing for sure that, behind them, they had already seen too much. But I hadn't had any choice and regrets were totally useless down here….
I could hear them, behind the paneled ceiling, in each corner, they were recording everything. They were observing us, they were observing me.
I turned the palms of my hands in their direction. I focused. I quickly disabled all the cameras, forcing the wall hiding them to collapse with my new ability. Small cracks appeared on the walls subsequently.
It was time to face my jailers.
Toby hadn't waited for any explanation, he was already trying to escape for the second time.
I brought him back using his own tricks against him. "Toby, stay still. I won't hurt you." I could see fear and fascination on his face.
"You witch, what…? What did you do to me, huh?"
"Don't be such a pussy, Toby. She's obviously been altered the same way that you have. Show us again!" Jeanne said.
"You've seen enough. The only thing you need to know is that you've been deceived…" Having said that I realized the cracks had enlarged and with them water was trickling down the walls, hiding behind them a pitch black ocean and its inhabitants.
"By you, certainly!" Toby continued.
The small stream had become a continuous flow of water, triggering an alarm, whose screeching sound was resonating everywhere. My cell was about to collapse.
"Jared, please take Ben out of here… Go, now!" I demanded when I saw that no one was moving. "Now!" I ordered "Evacuate everyone!" hoping my voice hadn't betrayed my surge of anxiety. I threw a last glance at them, and I saw Jared, carrying Ben, ready to leave the room. I levitated them out and locked the hatch behind them.
Once they were out I forced the wall to break in front of me, a powerful stream of water surged in the room. I took a big breath, there was no time to lose. A strong current pushed me back, forcing another wall to collapse. I was carried away.
But I wasn't the only one.
I saw another body.
Oh my Gosh… Kellan?
I was engulfed by the pitch black abyss.
CHAPTER 8 –
Relished Freedom
I propelled myself with my new speed, moving like a dolphin.
My eyes were slowly getting used to the dark but even with my improved sight, there was still no sign of Kellan...
Nothing.
I started to panic.
I would run out of air eventually and would be forced to go back to the surface.
Not without him! Not without him!
I noticed my ears were hurting.
The pressure I realized. I knew I had to equalize, to protect my eardrums and get rid of the nitrogen bubbles stuck in my body before reaching the surface.
I once more used Maggy's abilities.
I felt better and started to look more closely.
Kellan, where are you? Kellan?
This was all too much, I couldn't lose him.
Not him! I needed to find another way.
I stopped, finding a new balance in this world where there was no up or down.
Focus! Listen. I could hear fish moving, mantas hiding. And in the middle of all these incessant clattering noises, the sound of air released in the ocean.
Kellan?
I opened my eyes, when I saw a darker patch of black among all the different shades.
Kellan…
I hurried down, caught him by his shirt and immediately took him in my arms.
He felt so cold.
We needed to go to the surface this instant. There was no time to lose.
We were ascending faster and faster.
But I wouldn't let Stern get away with it…
I focused on all the pillars maintaining the facility and forced them to collapse, one floor after another, starting at the bottom.
This should give everyone enough time to escape, I thought, praying, at the same time, for Kellan to survive…
Air, I need air!
PART 3
"I have cast fire upon the world, and see, I am guarding it until it blazes."
Gospel of Thomas
1°57'04.7"N 73°15'41.4"E
CHAPTER 1 –
True Colors
It was drumming with rain when I reached the surface, still holding Kellan close to me. The sky was so black that I couldn't see the horizon. Or maybe it was still night… I didn't know anymore, I was totally disorientated. Maybe they had lied about time too…
I need to get him to safety, now.
I started swimming on my back, holding his head out of the water, I swam and swam as hard as I could, so fast that we were almost flying. Thank you, Ben I thought.
I stopped, still in the middle of nowhere, when I noticed a thin white line in total contrast with the rest of the landscape.
An island?
I couldn't wait much longer, his pulse was so faint I couldn't feel it anymore. I hurried, pushing my body to its limit when my back touched sand.
I stood up and pulled Kellan out of the water.
We were encircled by a beach of white sand and a rough ocean. Several palm trees and other trees I didn't recognize were scattered on this deserted island.
I decided to settle Kellan under one of them, and pulled him by his arms.
Two gray herons were eyeing us with disconcert, not at all preoccupied by the lashing rain.
"Here, let me get rid of this first" I said as I was stripping him off his shirt to listen to his heart.
It was barely audible. I checked his pulse, it was too faint to hear. I put my left ear on his chest again. Nothing.
Oh God. No, no, no. Don't take him, don't take him away from me. Not now, not now, I was pleading.
I started CPR as I recalled the nurse and Bochi's training.
One, two, three, four, five. Breathe! I thought as I was inflating air in his cold body.
One, two, three…
"Come on!"I was now shouting at him while pressing on his heart.
"Come on, wake up. Damn you, Kellan, I said wake up!" Lightning was now tearing the sky apart. He was still unconscious. Blood was slowly dripping from his nose.
Oh my Gosh. Think, think. Alright, it could be … decompression sickness. I can do something about it.
I put my hands at ten inches above his body, starting with his head, then going down, and focused on removing all the air trapped inside of him.
I willed this air to exude from his every pore. He was still not breathing.
Anger was deepening inside of me, and rage. I was furious, furious at him, for letting me down. I was crying and yelling at him, hitting his heart with all my strength. "Come back, now! Kellan, please. Don't do this to me. I love you, do you hear me? I love you! I can't live without you…"
I was now sobbing as panic had gripped me too.
What can I do? What can I do?
Thunder was crashing in the sky overhead when I had an idea. If Maggy could control the four elements, I should be able to use this storm.
Please, don't let him die, don't let him die.
I stood up, arms outstretched, palms up.
Let's try it.
I concentrated on energy, and on all the elements around me. I visualized lightning, my fingertips channeling all this energy, mastering it.
I could see this lightning outstretching now, touching my fingertips and filling my whole body with it.
When I felt ready I applied my hands on Kellan's heart and sent electric shocks.
Once…twice….three times.
"Wake up"I was still yelling at him.
All of a sudden, Kellan coughed and vomited all the water contained in his lungs. He opened his eyes and looked at me intensely.
Tears were trickling down my cheeks as I squatted down next to him.
"Why are you crying?" he whispered in my ear.
"I thought I had lost you…I…" I said as I was trying to justify my tears.
"Where…are… we?" he asked with difficulty.
"I don't know exactly…I must confess I don't have a good sense of orientation…" I smiled.
"They…what… happened?"
"Everything is gone, the whole premises. We needed to get out…" I explained.
"How? I…What… did they do…?" he asked, worried.
"Nothing, don't worry…Your brother paid me a visit with Jeanne and Toby… Ben is dead…" I painfully recalled.
"How…?" he further asked.
"He died trying to save me…I'm sorry I failed you, I couldn't convince your brother..."
"He's… so blinded by Stern…Faith, I'm… sorry for Ben...I know he was your friend…"
As my eyes started watering again, I looked the other way. "Faith…"
"I…I wish I had been able to prevent it."
We both remained silent for a while. "Rest now…" I said lying down next to him.
"What now?" I asked him after what had felt to be hours. Kellan had sat down on the sand, his face had regained some colors.
"We need to make sure they don't find us. Stern must have been alerted by now…Wait! Our chip! We need to get rid of both…They could lead Stern right to us!" he exclaimed, trying to stand up.
"Don't! Stay still. I've got this!" I quickly replied, slowly moving his head on my lap.
I carefully turned his head to the left and touched his soft skin.
Even now it was sending electricity through my fingers. I placed my hand above his neck, focused and willed his chip to leave his body. It was resisting. I tried to change its shape, to flatten it and heard a noise, like the cracking sound of an eggshell.
Kellan started screaming.
The chip. His chip must be the cause. When I firmly took his head in my hands and inspected his skull,I could feel that it had released something, a cold liquid, like ice in his brain.
I need to get rid of it, now.
Kellan went back to screaming with pain when I visualized this small object inside him and called for it, with all my will. He cried out even more when I caught it in my hand. It was full of blood and flesh. Got you! Now my turn. Quickly. I thought as I was putting my palms at the base of my skull, followed the same procedure and caught the chip in my left hand. When I glanced at it I saw it was small and circular – the size of a fingernail. I stood up and crushed them both with my foot.
Inspecting what was left of our chips, I saw a dark liquid dripping out of them.
"Kellan, come over here, quickly."
But my surroundings had become alarmingly silent. When he didn't answer, I turned around. He was lying on the ground, face down in the sand. I put my hands above his wound and ordered the poison to leave his body, it was leaving a black trail behind. Kellan had still not moved.
K? Wake up, please...
He suddenly started to cough several times and took a deep breath. "Faith…" He was himself again.
"You weren't moving, I…thought I had lost you again…" This time I burst into tears.
"Don't cry, please…" he said erasing my tears with the palm of his hand.
"Don't do this to me, ever again! Promise me!"
"I…I promise" he answered. He seemed exhausted.
"You need to rest now…" and he closed his eyes without me asking him to do so a second time.
CHAPTER 2 –
Gleam of Light
The sun was already going down. Kellan had spent the whole day sleeping.
I was walking relentlessly, trying to figure out what to do next. We needed to warn the authorities, we needed to stop Stern.
On the other hand I couldn't leave Maggy behind, nor Wolf. Or they would end up being the victims of Stern's cruelty as well. I knew it. Kellan would never leave his brother either. I knew that too.
I was trying to ponder whether our best solution was to go to them, while bringing fresh coconut and a washed piece of cloth to Kellan.
When I came back to the tree under which he had rested, he wasn't there.
I started panicking.
Kellan? I asked in my head.
In the water… I'm coming, he immediately answered. "Everything's okay?"
"Yeah, I guess. Look what I found!"
He smiled when I showed him the prize of my hunt, already cracked open in my hands.
When he had emptied the whole content of it, he came to stand in front of me and took my face in his hands, looking into my eyes.
"What are you doing?" I asked.
"Something I should have done a long time ago…" and he kissed me, tenderly.
I felt so tense and relieved at the same time. He's alive, he's alive… this new passion invading me, mixing with residue of anxiety.
I could feel my warmth and his.
Desire was no longer contained, this fire was blazing. My whole body was reacting to his.
I broke our first kiss to catch my breath. I felt exhausted by this tsunami of ambivalent emotions but there was one thing I was sure of: my unconditional love for him, and him only. I couldn't let go of him, so I kissed him again, but this time even more fiercely, my body finding his.
We were a perfect match.
I removed my shirt and his.
His body was sculpturally built.
I was touching his chest, and his heart, his hands mirroring mine, caressing my skin. They felt soft and strong at the same time, like the petals of a rose.
We were both naked in front of each other, when his arms encircled me again, but this time in a lovemaking embrace.
We were free and together.
Kellan lay me down on the sand and resumed kissing me, finding his way inside of me, finding his way inside of my soul.
His movements, warming my whole body, were increasing in intensity, until, in an explosion of love, we merged into one.
It was ecstasy.
I woke up in the middle of the night and looked around me.
He had vanished.
Where are you? Kellan? I shouted in my head.
I stood up and started looking for him, frantic with worry.
I was walking fast, narrowly eyeing every corner, every dark green patch I encountered. Animals were waking up now – mosquitoes, lizards, bats, snakes…
I could hear them crawl and see them feed. I had become a predator among them, on the look-out for unusual sounds.
My thirty-minute walk ended up abruptly when I saw myself in a mirror wall in front of me, reflecting the plants and trees all around as well. I walked around it, careful not to touch its faces.
It was an imposing twenty-foot-high cube, directly erected out of the ground.
There was no door, no apparent way to enter it.
What do I do now?
I needed to touch this structure if I wanted to find any entrance. Let's check if it's safe first.
I focused my attention on a coconut tree next to me and ordered its fruit to land on top of the cube with gale force. A bump. Then nothing. I tried once more, but this time on the wall facing me.
For a second I thought I had been able to see something else than my own reflection – light?
I needed to be sure.
I gathered twenty coconuts with my ability and threw them at equal distance against the smooth surface in front of me. The impact was clearly distorting the camouflaging reflection but the glass remained intact.
Fortunately it gave me the opportunity to catch a glimpse at the interior of the cube.
Inside was a huge room, filled with statue-like figures, on metallic chairs.
The light was dim, coming out of a fire place but I recognized the faces of those facing me: Wolf and Maggy. Their hands weren't tied up, but they stayed motionless, staring into space with their white lackluster eyes.
I needed to act quickly, I was certain Stern knew I was here.
The walls imprisoning them looked like a force field. I needed to break through it first.
The storm had gone, I couldn't use its energy. But maybe I could use the energy inside the cube? It was worth a try. I breathed in and out slowly, my outstretched palms commanding the electricity running through the facility to turn to the walls and expand. The force field was weakening; I could see my friends again but it didn't have the expected result, the walls were still erected.
I focused once more and increased the energy on the wall facing me, forming a ball of electricity at its center, pleading it to destroy everything on its way. Now!
My deep concentration was suddenly broken by the sound of exploding glass and I saw its shattered particles levitating all around me. I ordered each piece of glass to keep moving around my body and form a protective coat. I entered.
The security system was on, water was pouring out of the extinguishing devices on the ceiling. Emergency lights were bathing the room in red. No one had made a single movement.
Wolf, Maggy, Toby, Jared… they were all drenched, still staring lifelessly in front of them.
The chip. It must be their chip.
I placed my hands in front of me once more and forced all their chips out.
But nothing happened. I tried once more. Still nothing. What was going on?
I approached Maggy and touched her shoulders. My hand was moving through thin air. A hologram…? And now Stern knows what I'm capable of… Never mind… Keep on moving.
I started looking around. There were no stairs going down, nor door. I closed my eyes and strained my ears to catch any sound that might give a clue as where my friends were being kept prisoners.
There was no noise. Except the sound of water, falling, dripping.
That was it, I knew it. There was another underground structure. I extended my hand and willed the platform to rise.
My powers cracked the whole floor, destroyed tiles that were joining the glass debris in their unstoppable protective dance.
But there was still no one.
Where had they been taken?
What if my being here was just part of Stern's plan? What if she had killed all my friends before my arrival? Horrible images started invading my head as I had resumed running frantically through the forest, not knowing where to go, when I realized that my protective coat had vanished.
Suddenly, I heard a bloodcurdling moan, almost a whisper at first, it was growing loud and clear now.
I followed the sound, afraid of what I might discover.
The moan had stopped but I could distinguish a shadow, in front of a tree.
My eyes had got used to my dark surroundings but strangely I couldn't smell anything…
I didn't know who it was but I could clearly see that this person's hands were tied around the trunk of a palm tree. I was advancing slowly, still hiding behind plants.
This person's head was bowed, strangely bent. It was probably a trap but I couldn't leave this innocent person behind.
Approaching further, I stepped on a branch, the sound startling the prisoner. He was painfully looking straight at me with terror in his eyes.
Toby.
I tried to use my power – or rather his – to untie him.
It didn't work.
Odd... I thought.
I would have to do it the old way. He was trying to talk now but his gag was preventing him from articulating any comprehensible word. I made a sign to silence him as I was coming even closer.
He was almost screaming now when I motioned him to keep quiet.
I removed his gag and he started talking fast, not making any sense. He broke down in tears.
"Toby, calm down, please." I said, untying him.
"It's a trap…" was the last thing I understood before an arrow pierced his heart.
"Noooo…" I yelled. I dragged him away from his murderer, and hid us behind a bush. I took him in my arms and rocked him like I would have with a baby seeking comfort. It was too late, he was gone.
I closed his eyes, lay him on the ground and stood up remorseful for leaving him here. His burying would have to wait, I needed to find the others.
I went on walking swallowing sobs and tears. I could not use my speed anymore.
I didn't know why but all my powers seemed to have left me. Maybe they had been just temporary. Maybe they had died with their first owner?
It took me less than two minutes to find another prisoner. But this one wasn't tied up. I slowly went closer.
Oh my God, Maggy.
She was staring at me with glassy eyes.
Stern must be controlling her… I further thought.
I tried to make her move, calling to the wind, but it was totally useless. She had not moved an inch. I was whispering her name but she didn't reply. "Maggy, please. Answer me…" I was pleading now. I was getting very close to her now and made a movement to touch her shoulders. I screamed with horror as I saw her head dismember itself from her neck and her corpse collapse on the ground.
Spurts of blood were coming out of her neck, quickly forming a pond of blood.
I shouted her name, sobbing with panic and anger as I realized my feet were bathing in her blood.
I started shaking and fell on my knees. I glanced at my hands which were covered with a sticky liquid whose color I only had to guess.
Fear gave way to rage, boiling, consuming every cell in my body.
I gave a last scream but this time full of promise; the promise of avenging her.
This only prospect gave me the strength to leave my friend behind and go on.
I must have been walking around in circles for I soon arrived back at the square I had destroyed.
Strangely it appeared untouched and erected straight.
Impossible. I destroyed the glass walls… I was feeling lost, losing control over my emotions when panic seized me again. Maybe it was the expected effect of the building in front of me.
Maybe it was exactly Stern's intention to confuse me. Focus, focus! I was in front of one of its square surfaces now and touched it with my right hand, no longer able to destroy it.
I was looking once more into the interior of the building. But this time I distinguished Jeanne with her incredible long blonde hair. She was in the middle of the living room, her back at me.
A fire was roaring in the fireplace and a skin rug had been placed in front of it. Candles and chandeliers were dimly lighting the room. I was wondering why she had been left alone.
Suddenly she was greeted by muscular arms, touching and discovering her body, undressing her slowly. These two were clasped in each other's arms, kissing passionately.
I couldn't see her lover's face so I decided to look even more closely.
My heart was struck with terror when Kellan's blue eyes looked back at me, kissing Jeanne even longer and harder on the mouth, while staring at me.
Why?
I couldn't believe what I was witnessing.
He lay Jeanne – now totally naked – on the rug.
He was slowly removing his shirt, underlining his perfect body even further, his trousers, his boxer shorts… fixing me with his intense gaze…
I turned around and ran away – unable to watch anymore.
How could he do this to me? How could he?
I was so confused…
I was running as fast as I could, though not as fast as I had been before but still enough to stumble on a rock in front of me. I landed in the dirt, head first and swallowed mud.
I couldn't breathe now, this dirt invading me, not only my face but my heart and soul.
Kellan, why did you do this to me?
I had lost everyone I had ever loved. I had lost everything.
I wanted to die, right here, right now. I let despair take hold of me. I knew it had been there all along, lurking in the dark. Now that it had been released like a mad dog, it was uncontrollable and taking advantage of every part of me.
Like this dirt I was swallowing, I was choking on despair and guilt.
Faith. Faith wake up. Faith, what's going on? I heard Kellan ask.
How could you do this to me? You bastard!
Faith, I don't know what you're talking about but I heard you. You were screaming my name.
I knew you fancied her. You asshole!
Faith, please…calm down.
Why? I trusted you…
Faith, I don't know what you saw but it wasn't real. Faith, listen to me!
I was letting out stifled cries when he caught me off guard.
Faith, I'm here. Hang in there. I won't leave you. I never will, do you hear me? I'll never leave you. Faith…
I had left Kellan on our island. He couldn't have been with Jeanne. He said he was here.
He said he would never leave me. Did he care for me too? Kellan? Is it really you?
Faith, listen to me, you need to focus on my voice. What you see isn't real, none of it is. Do you hear me? Focus on me. Breathe in, and out slowly.
"Faith…" I heard someone else scream my name in the distance.
Kellan, they still have Wolf… He's calling me.
It's not him. Don't let your fear guide you.
Kellan, I'm scared…
Faith, I'm with you…Trust me…
Why? Why should I trust you? I asked, still not knowing what was real and what wasn't.
Because…Because I love you, Faith…I don't want to lose you…
What he said had the effect of a thousand volts, sending electric shocks through my body.
My heart filled with a renewed hope and my mind was cleared of every negative emotion I had felt.
"Somebody… Please…Help me. They're going to kill me… Please…" Wolf's call was growing louder.
Listen to my voice. We're still on the island where you brought me. Nothing you see is real…Listen to my voice! Kellan added.
Wolf's pleading voice was fading away now.
I closed my eyes and focused on my breathing and on Kellan's voice resonating in my head. In, out, in, out, slowly. I could do it. I could beat Stern and still save them. They're alive, they're alive…
I opened my eyes slowly to see Wolf had appeared on my left. His moaning had stopped. He had been chained up – legs and arms outstretched – to two trees. His body was cut open, his guts coming out of it.
I closed my eyes and thought of Kellan and what he had said. I focused on him and my feelings for him.
Fight this! You can do it, Faith!
I opened my eyes again. But this time Wolf had disappeared. Instead of him, I glanced at the destroyed premises on my right.
I briefly glimpsed at my hands too. They were immaculate, not at all covered in blood.
I closed my eyes once more, breathed in and out, and went on focusing on Kellan's voice, my heart, my soul.
When I opened my eyes, it was like waking up, seeing for the first time after a disturbing night. I could feel Kellan next to me, he had knelt on the sand. We were still on the island, our island I thought.
Thank God! Faith…You're back! I…
We're not alone… I could sense it. I felt dizzy and drained, my head was aching so much…
"Sweet dreams, beauty?" I recognized his voice instantly.
"Look at the mess you've made! You and Kellan form the best of teams, destroying everything and everyone on your passage." Stern's cold voice, brought me back to reality.
Jared and Stern were standing a few feet away, smirking.
"I think you know what you're talking about, Stern…Why Naome? She hadn't done anything wrong…" I stood up without letting my guard down. Kellan did the same and we were both facing them now.
"Stop the crap. We all know you killed Naome, and beat Bochi to death. And you want to protect her, Kellan? To me you're both murderers. Now you deserve to pay."
"Jared, Faith is telling you the truth. Come with us…" Kellan asked him.
"…Not to mention you always fall for the wrong girl…You deserve what's coming for you!" he answered, not letting him continue.
"I can't believe you're saying that…he's always looked out for you…" I snapped.
"How would you know?" Kellan's brother asked with disdain.
"Jared, listen to me. Don't believe a word Stern says…Come with us…"
"You will find no friend here, Kellan. No one believes you. Everything you both say is a lie…" Stern replied.
I pushed Jared away with the energy of my right hand and rooted him to the spot before he could attack. I left Stern exactly where she was.
"It's too late Stern. Tell the truth!" I said.
"I don't know what you're talking about…" she answered smiling and overconfident.
"Tell us or I will hurt you…the way you've hurt all of us…"
Stern remained mute.
Moving branches had turned silent. What about the animals living here? Had they all gone?
It was weird and a feeling of unease was rising in me. I quickly glanced at Kellan who gave me a discreet nod. We both looked around, trying to see anything unusual when we were interrupted by Stern.
"Now!"
I didn't have the time to react. I felt a huge wave of energy, violently crush me and Kellan, and immobilizing us both against a palm tree trunk, ten feet high.
Out of the darkness I saw four shadows slowly floating towards us.
I didn't hear them coming…How is it possible?
I knew there were others… Kellan replied.
They were all wearing black hoodies. They came to a halt in front of us and removed their hoods, the moon lighting their faces. They were so young, they couldn't be older than us.
One of them had his hand extended, probably the one maintaining us above the ground.
They were certainly waiting for my next blow to see if I could be much of a resistance.
I summoned up all my strength and focused, remembering yoga – what it was to really inhale and exhale air and energy. I levitated them all, forcing them to go back where they had come from.
When I felt the power of my enemy diminish, we were dropped on the sand like dead weight.
"Kellan, run! I'm not sure I'll be able to hold them back much longer…" I yelled at him, fearing it was already too late.
"No, I'm not leaving you here…" he replied.
"Kellan please, don't do this…Go to the other side of the island, swim as far as you can and don't look back…" I added.
"It's over, Faith…" Stern said smiling triumphantly.
The covered strangers coming back at us seemed unimpressed by what had happened.
I quickly glanced at Kellan. It's the only chance we've got to see each other again…If they catch you they'll kill you…Please…
All of a sudden, I felt my heart constrict. It was almost like being crushed by an invisible pressure, unable to breathe.
They were hurting Kellan. He was lying on the sand, choking.
I levitated him out of here, sending him flying to the other side of the island. He would be safer there. I focused once again. I had to do it, I had to stop them.
But there was no electricity here, no source of power I could use. The elements. I could use the four elements around me. I could feel the surge of energy flowing in my veins. I just needed to channel it.
I willed the wind to form a gush so strong, it imprisoned them in a whirlwind and kept them away.
Soon I felt the pressure on my chest lessen until it totally disappeared. But as I was still pushed against the bark, I knew they were resisting, the wind having driven them back but not far enough.
"Stop her, now! But keep her alive!" Stern's voice ordered, among the hooded figures.
I needed to attack them, more strongly this time.
However I was immediately stopped by a jet of frost coming from one of them – so powerful. I moved away from it just in time or I would have felt the impact of the full blast.
Jared seized the opportunity and put me into one of his visions again. We were on a deserted island, palm trees had disappeared, giving way to dead plants and vegetation. A pack of ravening wolves were growling at me, as I was slowly sinking in quicksand.
But he wouldn't take me by surprise a second time.
I focused my mind on his, my eyes being blind to the rest of them, and I knocked him out against a tree.
"Don't let her escape!" a man further ordered.
I whispered my will to the ocean this time.
It was moving, advancing on them, creating a huge wave, so big it would crush them all.
Let's see if you can escape this! I thought.
My opponents were taken by surprise and quickly engulfed by the wave I had created.
I willed it to stop at my feet, increasing the current where my enemies had been.
It had the appearance of a translucent tank imprisoning them all. No one had had the time to move.
I threw a last glance at Stern, a little farther in front of me. It was really strange as she seemed to be floating, encircled by a shiny blue bubble that hadn't been there two seconds before. Even the pale moon was reflecting on it.
But she was no longer my concern…
I started running as fast as I could to rejoin the other side of the island.
Soldiers, all dressed in black and wearing diving suits, were securing the perimeter, one pointing his gun at Kellan's head.
Another one spotted me.
He made a signal and they all shot.
I stopped every single one of them and quickly willed their weapons to reload and turn against their owner instead. The soldiers seemed doubtful, horrified and furious at the same time.
They all put their hands up.
I fired their weapon and stunned them all with their own tranquilizers.
"Kellan, are you okay?" I said as I was running to him.
"We need to get out of here and fast…" he replied.
We had to flee. But was heading for another island the solution? Was there a place in this world where we would be safe?
He took my hand and we both ran to the ocean, our bodies crushing against the waves.
Water was at my waist when something stopped me from taking another step.
I was stuck, unable to move.
Every time I was trying to go forward an invisible wall was restraining me.
"Faith, what's going on?" Kellan asked.
I was locked up in a sort of plastic bubble.
I was trying to tear it apart but nothing was efficient enough to destroy my flexible prison. There was oxygen, I could breathe easily, and even water, at my waist. The only difference was that my movements were hampered as new waves were crashing against it. As I was kicking my protective blanket in vain, I tried to force the bubble to grow and stretch from the inside but it didn't break. I punched it and punched it again, nothing was working.
Kellan, I'm sorry.
Faith, what can I do?
I'm stuck here…I'm…They will be here soon. Kellan you need to go!
"No! Not without you!"
Oh my Gosh, Kellan, they're here.
Faith! Hang in there! Faith! He was screaming my name.
I can't move forward. I don't know what they want, or what they'll do to me…Kellan…
Listen to me Faith, I will never give up on you, do you hear me?
I couldn't listen to him anymore.
I had started to cry uncontrollably.
I had failed.
I had failed Maggy and the others, and I would never see Kellan again.
I would never hold him nor kiss him.
I was sinking to the depths of despair when I heard a bursting sound, followed by a sting on my neck, a burning solution spreading inside my entire body.
Then a second, a third and a fourth sting.
I could slowly feel the effect of the poison they had injected me with.
My eyelids were heavy.
I got it out of my system, from every pore when I was stung again, but this time by what it felt like a thousand needles, when I heard someone whose familiar voice was shouting my name from afar.
Kellan. Please, go...
Never, do you hear me? Never!
I used all the energy I had left to send him as far away from me as I could.
I was so drained that I could no longer stand.
I collapsed.
When I felt muscular arms catching me, I blacked out.
PART 4
"The child of true Humanity exists within you."
Gospel of Mary of Magdala
40°46'19.0"N 73°58'29.9"W
CHAPTER 1 –
Ruby Anchor
Everything is foggy and obscure. Am I flying?
I feel so light…
Where am I? Am I dead? Is it what death feels like?
No one around me? No one to hold my hand when I'm leaving this world?
Which world? I don't know…I don't… remember.
But there is no light. No light…No light…I'm so cold.
I'm alone…Why? I hate this solitude. I hate it.
Who am I?
Echoes all around me. Sounds and lights, colors –bright and soft.
That's it. I must be in heaven.
Or hell? I'm still so cold, isn't it supposed to be burning hot down there?
I feel trapped, something is wrong.
Two male voices were invading my ears, while I could feel a presence bustling about near me.
"Do you think it worked?"
"It did."
"May I remind you that it didn't with the first subjects. Show me!"
"Here! See this curve? Her scan clearly indicates another seizure. It correlates with the exact moment when she was injected in this case subject J1's blood."
"Are you a hundred percent certain?"
"We're not sure at the moment. There is only one way of knowing with certainty."
"You want to wake her up…"
"It's the only way…"
"It's risky… I'll ask Stern. In the meantime, I think we need to increase the dosage, we can't risk any containment breach…"
"There is one more thing. At every successful transfusion, her seizures increase in intensity. She heals, fast. But we can't risk exposing her to too many subjects too quickly. Her body would end up crashing. Please inform her of that risk as well."
"I'll let you know what Stern decides."
I suddenly heard a light sound followed by heavy steps on the floor.
"Trent, increase the sedative. We also need another transfusion set, could you get this ready, please?"
"Yes sir, of course." a man replied.
Not knowing if it was a dream or if what I had heard was the harsh reality of my life, I drifted off.
CHAPTER 2 –
Amber Horizon
I felt a burning liquid spread through my veins, waking up all my cells at once. My eyes fluttered open and I jumped out of bed, crouching like a mistreated cat at the sight of its torturer.
My conscience resurfaced so rapidly that I was feeling dizzy now. I could hear and feel my heart racing, palpitating, like after running a marathon.
I opened my eyes entirely this time, only to be blinded by white. The neon lights were too strong.
It felt like seeing for the first time, breathing for the first time.
Where am I?
An intoxicating smell of bleach was floating.
My arms were both linked to tubes that were connected to two machines, still beeping.
I quickly removed the needles and felt free to move.
I didn't feel any pain. Strange…
Drops of blood had stained the immaculate floor. I glanced at the room around me and found bandages to attend my wounds on a tray on my right.
I needed to stand. I made one step, then another. The cold floor was soothing against my burning skin. Freezing cold…
This sensation was vaguely familiar.
Around my feet frost had spread, quickly.
Its ice shape, inlaid into the floor, had covered the blooded tiles.
What the fuck?
I was still wondering if I was dreaming when I noticed blood had trickled down my arms to rest in my hands.
A wave of mental pain and suffering, uncontrolled, was floating in my veins, like plastic bags at the surface of the ocean.
I could feel this enormous wave building in my guts, washing over my senses, spreading in my whole body. I started shaking.
Images were overcoming my mind;
a blond-haired boy choking for air, covered in blood,
a group of boys, raping me savagely,
a crazy old man, naked, trying to stop the bleeding streaming from his neck,
the face of an Indian girl covered with blood, dead,
a black man I was beating to death; strangling him with all my strength…
M y head was summoning up more and more images. Memories? I wondered.
Memories of rape, violence, blood, hatred and death.
Look what they have done…Finish the job, hurt her... him... them...yourself. Kill them all...It's the only choice you've got... a voice was chanting in my ears.
I saw all their faces, crying, heard them beg for mercy.
Don't listen to her...him...them...they deserve it...the voice continued.
My head started spinning, and with it, names.
Ry? Jeanne? Jared? Bree? Maggy? All these names were building up in my mind.
Who am I?
I couldn't think straight any more. Who am I? And who are those people to me?
I was lost, angry, disgusted and alone, alone in oblivion. I felt trapped like a mouse, ready to be eaten by the house cat it had known all his life, the one that had been lurking in the dark.
Savage anger was rising. Anger and hate at the injustice of so much pain and the randomness with which it had struck. The buzzing in my clouded head was so loud that I was shaking like a leaf. I had the impression that my skull was split in two. My hands had gone rigid, like the dead bodies of so many I had seen. My heart was hammering, fueled by somber fear.
These images seemed so real… But were they?
I was crushed and defeated by so much violence and horror. I collapsed on my knees, the pull was too strong. I took my ears in my hands and screamed of terror, terror at what I had seen, terror at what I had done.
It left a burden too heavy for my shoulders to carry.
CHAPTER 3 –
Citrine Flashes
When I decided to open my eyes again, I saw the walls around me had evaporated, their rubble dancing in a powerful tornado of dust and water, coming from the ceiling. And in front of me, a dark hall.
Furthermore I felt drained and nauseous. My mouth was dry and my lips crackled, my movements hampered and slow to obey my fuzzy mind.
But I was more than determined to get out of my cell. So I stood up.
In this new environment, the artificial bright light had been replaced by a dimmed red atmosphere whose flickering lights were accompanied in their dance by extinguishing devices.
No sign of a living soul except for mine.
Trying to regain my composure, I started exploring this floor.
A series of dark rooms were flanked on both sides here, their door totally destroyed.
I checked all of them, but everywhere I entered I saw the same cataclysmic landscape: metallic cupboards spread all over the floor, broken glass – probably from flasks whose tag had become unreadable –mattresses, tubes and surgery tools, even broken laptops.
"Is anyone here?" I said, exiting the last room, as a last attempt to convince myself I wasn't dreaming.
I had needed to check all the rooms on this floor, I didn't know why. I had just needed to do it.
Then I remembered. I remembered her name. Tara.
She had grown suspicious, had been curious.
They had tried to silence her. But who were "they"?
And where was she now?
Scott, Toby, Wolf… Other names, resonating through my mind, had resurfaced from I didn't know where.
I knew I wouldn't have the answers I was looking for, so in sheer frustration I hit the wall, hard and started crying, I didn't know why. I could no longer suppress my tears from streaming down.
I was stopped short, enveloped by a warm feeling when I saw two bright butterflies had materialized in front of me. They were both the colors of the rainbow, and were now flying past me.
I could not keep my eyes off them. They were so beautiful, their dance illuminating the entire hall to go disappearing behind the only standing wall now opposite me.
Impossible I thought, looking at the spot where they had disappeared. I couldn't see their light any more, but I knew where I had to go and went back, deeper into darkness.
Flashes and furtive images still appeared in my head. There is another structure next to this building. I knew it.
But how? I quickly walked and stood in front of the brick wall. My mind took over, I needed to follow the butterflies. But how?
I put my hands on it and pushed with all my strength, suddenly invaded by hope, the hope of understanding what was going on.
A huge blast of power had appeared in my hands and destroyed it all, bricks were now flying away creating a stack behind me.
I looked at my hands, dumbfounded.
How in the world did I learn to do that?
I felt surprised by the result but my spirits were soon dampened by the sight that had opened up in front of me.
A shiny rough surface had replaced the brick wall. Its texture felt somehow alien at my touch.
But I had sent a blast of energy before, I could do it again. I tried to remember what I had done and soon enough my two hands were directed at the strange structure.
But it didn't even crack.
What is this thing? I wondered.
Wurtzite boron nitride. Lab zone, entirely sealed and protected, my mind let out as to remind me of something else.
If I knew the name of this material, I certainly knew how to destroy it too. This knowledge was there, in my mind, I was certain of it. How to access it was another issue.
My heart was racing again and I could feel the same anger rising, anger at my own powerlessness, anger at my memory loss, anger at myself, hate at the people who did this, dark hatred.
I shouted in frustration, my hands started shaking uncontrollably again and a huge blast of energy – a mix of ice and electricity – was created in my palms. I pushed it out and willed it to destroy the wurtzite.
All the walls supporting this wing started shaking even more, the upper floor had collapsed on the now visible cube but there was still no visible crack in the black structure in front of me.
Anxiety was spreading in my veins like the black venom of a dangerous snake.
I can do this, I can. I sat down on the floor.
I breathed in and out, trying to focus on peace and positive feelings, searching in my memory for any element that could help me open the cube.
I saw blinding white lights, tools, bandages, hospitals but somehow I knew these images were not memory fragments from this building.
I exhaled and let the images flow. I focused on the name I had found earlier, wurtzite, and I repeated it several times, creating my own chant this time.
The blur in front of my eyes became clearer.
"Wait. Are you sure this wing is protected? We wouldn't want our patients to go in there or our testing subjects to go out." a neurosurgeon who had been trained by Bochi and named Trent asked.
"Trust me. Nothing can destroy it. We made the necessary arrangements. You will also have your own combination. It is very simple. After showing your print and eye scan on the wall panel, the wurtzite surface will appear. All you need to do press your chosen squares on the surface.
It is eight-fold so please choose a combination you can easily remember, we don't want to load new ones every week." a young man named Scott – wearing a dark uniform with SC on it – answered.
"Okay, let's get this over with." The doctor replied inserting his chosen code.
The memory fragment dissipated like vapor but I had found what I needed.
I stood in front of the wurtzite surface and pressed on the squares I had memorized.
A door had become translucent and I entered.
CHAPTER 4 –
Emerald Vault
Everything was dark in here – typical – only a room, at the end of the formerly hidden hall, whose door frame was submerged by light, resembled that of a lighthouse through a stormy night.
I hurried down the hall and remembered to press the rectangular shape on the right panel before entering.
What I saw next startled me most.
The body – inert – of a man stripped to the waist with a white pair of trousers lay still on a metallic table, the whole room lit by the same rainbow butterflies. Two machines were linked to each other by several tiny pipes, further inserted in his arms, back, and neck. "What…?" I said out loud.
I pressed my ear on his heart to confirm what I already knew, his breathing was shallow.
Who was this man? My mind was still fuzzy and even though his outlines looked familiar, I couldn't recall who he was.
Let's get rid of all these tubes first and keep your questions for later. I thought in a hurry, on my way to open the cupboard full of bandages.
I removed the needles, one by one, and let their murky liquid spread on the floor.
It was dark and dense like the oil poisoning oceans after a shipwreck.
He seemed to be breathing more easily now despite his eyes, still closed.
I was firmly wrapping bandages around his wounds, when I was broken off by the echo of steps, resonating through darkness.
"Faith…" said a stranger, leading a whole group.
"I don't know who you are…Stay away from me! Stay away!"
In front of me, eyes were scrutinizing me with terror.
Their panic ignited something deep within me. Their gaze rapidly faded away to be replaced by silhouettes; faces I thought I knew but which, at the same time, felt unfamiliar.
Someone suddenly grabbed my hands.
"Faith...Everything is okay, Faith. It's me, Maggy." said a strange girl in front of me.
She was looking at me intensely, with her innocent blue eyes.
I saw my face reflect in them when the image started changing, taking the shape of another person, and another and another.
Every time I recognized a new face in her eyes, my guts were churning with the same crying shame and absolute hatred for myself.
You're disgusting. Look what you have done. You don't deserve to live. Kill yourself. Do it! Now! A devilish chant was encouraging me to end my suffering and theirs.
"Faith, let us help you...Please..." a man said desperately.
My ears were buzzing, my vision blurry and my head once more split in two with a severe migraine headache.
"Don't get closer...!" My voice felt alien as the words were coming out of my mouth. I tried to get away from them but couldn't find balance and quickly fell on the freezing cold tiled floor that seemed to give way under my feet. I stayed where I was, curled up with my eyes closed, my arms encircling my knees.
"Faith, you found him..." another guy said.
"Don't touch her Jared!"
"I'm not planning to! Faith, we need to go, I don't know how much time we have left."
Faith? I've heard the name before...
You're not worth a dime. You deserve to die!
"Enough" I shouted, my hands protecting my ears to counteract the evil voices, tears were brimming over and falling on my cheeks.
"What's going on?" another girl asked.
"I don't know. I think she's losing it!" another voice added.
I could feel their gaze staring at me – full of dread. My hands had started trembling even more than before. The bulbs preserving the emergency lights on the floor exploded one by one, and all this energy gathered in my hands, that were now generating sparks of electricity.
"Faith, what's going on?" Maggy shouted – frantic with worry.
"Tara, something is off!" a man said.
Black shadows – like the ones protecting Notre Dame in Paris – were surrounding all of us – at each corner of the hall – with bloodshot eyes mirroring hatred and darkness. As they were advancing towards us, I could see their wings: huge and ending with silver claws. They were forming a black cloud, I was no longer able to see anyone.
"Wolf, we need to get everyone out!" added another man.
When my palms touched the ground, a huge tree appeared from the underground, growing fast, all the way up to the ceiling and up again, leaving broken bricks and metal below it, destroying everything on its way. It was separating the shadows from us.
Destroy…everything…Kill…everyone…Now… What seemed to be a distant voice at the back of my head became louder and louder, forming a regular chant.
"Faith, what can we do?" asked the guy named Wolf, but not loud enough to cover the chant.
"I….I can't control it. RUN!" I shouted my hands still on my ears, my eyes still wide open.
Kill them all… Destruction is all you know…You're frightening them….You belong with us.
The strangers in front of me seemed to have regained their composure, two of them took by the shoulders the man I had found. The butterflies around him some seconds before had now vanished.
There is no light, another voice was resonating in my head.
"I…Please, go away….I don't know how long I can hang on…." I shouted at the remaining outlines in front of me. Everything I touched was turning to ice now, the floor, the walls.
Please let them all be safe, let them all be safe. I thought.
A gale-force wind pushed everyone away from me, away from the dark gargoyles through the passage the tree had left open.
Stop them! They will kill you if you don't!
"Noooooo…" I was holding my head again, trying to get rid of this chant, still more insisting.
Kill yourself….You're not worth a dime! Kill yourself, destroy everything!
The ground started shaking. I could hear water surging on every floor, the earth was split in two, letting streams of mud engulf the whole building.
Faith... a male voice said in my head.
But I was alone, dust covering my face.
I could feel the floor give way beneath me. I didn't move. I didn't want to survive this. I sure didn't deserve it.
Fight this, you can do it, Faith. he said again.
Kill yourself. You're too dangerous…you belong with us. The voices were even louder than before.
They… are controlling me…The voices are controlling my mind. I can't…I answered the stranger in my head.
I've seen your courage and your heart. You're stronger than this…he replied.
All this darkness, I'm possessed, I'm being possessed. "Stop it! Enough!"
I was repeating loudly trying to cover the chant with my voice this time.
But maybe the chant was coming from me, maybe I was the evil voice.
Maybe I was as dark as the creatures smiling at me now.
I love you...his voice had revived a vivid memory.
I let his words fuel me entirely. I felt power coming from my heart increase, swelling and growing so fierce. I wasn't scared anymore. I felt the courage to stand up.
I suddenly knew what I had to do.
NOOOOO! I could hear the destructive voices' last attempt to keep control.
I drew a protective circle all around me. Its light was now electric blue.
Let everything else outside.
Protect me from invaders. Protect me from myself, I thought.
When I found peace again, I felt myself become lighter.
Breathe in the light, breathe out the light. Focus. I heard.
The gargoyles had evaporated, everyone had gone. Were they okay?
Oh my Gosh, what have I done? I was suddenly aware of my racing pulse.
Desolation invaded my heart when I caught a glimpse at the frozen floor, giving way under my feet, the overall building shaky, on the verge of total collapse.
My bubble was protecting me from all the bricks and debris from the fallen walls but I needed to find a way out, quickly.
I was looking around me now.
The tree trunk had remained intact despite the violence of my force.
I decided to follow the path it had created, to the expansion of its roots, my protective bubble cushioning my ascension all the way up, guided by the light emanating from my body.
It felt like rebirth.
CHAPTER 5 –
Aquamarine Sky
My eyes didn't have to adjust to the natural light – or better the absence of it – around me, and I realized for the first time that I was wearing a white hospital gown.
The full moon with her orange shades was reflecting on huge tree leaves surrounding me and I was completely alone, in the middle of dancing shadows. I left the hole from which I had emerged and the ground started shaking violently, engulfing the whole underground structure with a whirlwind of dirt and dust. It gave way to a huge crater where only one tree remained standing – the tree whose roots were going far underground, the tree that had shown me the way out. When I realized I was levitating above the crater, I looked down to see earth and mud materialize, filling the hole that had been created by my escape. Grass was growing fast and spread to the surface, bushes and small trees had also emerged.
It was like nothing had happened.
Thank you whispered a firefly at my ear before disappearing into the night sky.
Or was it my imagination?
I slowly regained a stable piece of ground in front of me, burying my fear deep within.
Where is everyone? Where am I?
I ventured forward, walking on the grass barefoot, not at all disturbed by the winter wind and found myself stopped by an energy field whose contours were preventing me from stepping forward. I felt like a beast, trapped once more. I hadn't left one prison to be locked into another.
Enough I screamed in my head. All my suppressed anger started mounting. The wind around me was rising fast, reaching gale force, electricity sparks started forming in the palms of my hands and quickly spread all over my skin. I applied both hands on the energy field and shouted – this time out loud – with the full intensity of my rage.
Flashes of lightning – emanating from my whole body – tore the energy field apart which dissipated in a matter of seconds.
CHAPTER 6 –
Turquoise Vision
In the distance a whole city lay dormant.
Before her, fifty soldiers – dark shadows still zooming over them all – were aiming at Wolf, Maggy and the others from the group I had seen in the premises. Four soldiers were standing next to the man I had saved from the wurtzite, restraining him.
"Faith…" the stranger was calling. He was looking at me.
Somehow and in spite of my hazy memory, his deep blue eyes moved me. And suddenly I saw vivid images of him. He was holding me in his arms, teaching me how to defend myself, protecting me, kissing me, making love to me.
Kellan…?
I was now looking at them all and heard their names. Stern, Bochi, Jared, Ry, Tara, Scott and his twin sister Brittany, Toby, Maggy, Jeanne and Wolf.
Somehow, as I now remembered all their names, I also saw the events that had led them to be here.
I saw Tara, aged eight, in front of her mother's tomb on her aboriginal land. She had never known her father who had killed himself before her birth. I saw how Scott recruited her for Stern's NY office several years ago.
I saw the operation Trent, one of Bochi's trainees, was performing on her and how it had enabled her to control the element of air around her.
I saw her trying to choke me and Kellan on the island we tried to escape from.
I saw Bree and Scott, the twins whose blood had served for the creation of serums. I saw them on an Indian reserve, hungry and alone. I saw them fighting for survival in a country where their culture wasn't recognized, Brittany brutalized and lost. I saw Trent's experiment on them after being recruited by Stern. I saw Scott create strong energy fields, sometimes in the shape of a bubble, I saw one of his bubbles restrain me from moving, back on the island. I saw his sister and her ability to create, give life to nature, trees, flowers, plant or to destroy.
I saw Ry, raised as a soldier and forced to kill his friends to prove his ability. I felt he had never recovered from it, crushed by guilt. I saw him recruited in Nigeria, after one of Jeanne, Wolf and Jared's missions.
I saw his ability to create water, in all its forms and how he was following Stern's orders on the island where he materialized the frost jet that had almost touched me.
I saw Jeanne's childhood in Paris, with her adopted sister from India, Agnès. I saw them both raised by their nanny, Roberta. I saw how her sister's death had affected Jeanne, forcing her to leave her home. I saw how she had always failed to commit to any kind of relationship in fear of losing another person whom she cared for.
I saw Jared and all his struggle, devastated by grief after the loss of his parents and Naome.
I saw his guilt when Stern told him his brother had died on the island with me.
And I saw Stern, her family's suffering, how her people had been tortured during the Second World War. I saw the desolation that had conquered her and so many.
I understood how they had all tried to free themselves from their past, to forget, to find solace through revenge or anger.
I saw they were all carrying, in their genes, the load of the past – stories of rape, violence, hatred, racism, oppression that had been inflicted to them or their ancestors, feeling as lost as I had been.
And I was certain that, because I had changed, they could also change the course of their lives, and that we were all given the opportunity to free ourselves from the past.
I now looked at Bochi and Stern, encircled by remaining soldiers. She was holding a small metallic box in her hand.
When Stern started advancing towards me, Kellan shouted "You bastards, don't touch her!"
"Kellan, you're such a disappointment, like all of you I may add." she replied.
I could see sadness taking shape on the faces of some, anger on others.
"Release them all, you have no right!" I demanded, outraged.
"Yes, I can feel your anger, good." she was addressing me now. "Faith, join me and bend in front of me. Serve allegiance to our order."
"No!" I shouted. I saw terror struck the faces of captives and soldiers alike.
All started backing away as a stormy wind was rising, enveloping us all.
"Resistance won't save you." Stern resumed. "You will destroy the old world to give way to a new order, my order. You will obey!"
When she pressed the metallic box, I suddenly felt restraints, my consciousness was totally frozen.
Scott, Maggy, Toby, Jeanne…they all started fighting each other, screaming at each other. Some of them collapsed on the grass, some others were writhing in pain.
I looked at Kellan, he had remained standing but he seemed enraged, his beautiful, innocent eyes had rapidly turned dark. He was pointing a gun at me, trembling.
"What… have you… done…to him?" I asked Stern and Bochi, gathering all the strength I had left.
"You're the Nemesis, Faith. Your blood is the answer to depravity, to the calamity they all are – humans – and we made sure you had all the powers to destroy them all by injecting you with every supra's blood, mine included…Obey or they will all kill each other…"
Time seemed suspended.
"Maybe she needs another incentive… Bochi?"
When he went to Kellan and whispered at his ear, I saw Kellan pointing the gun at himself.
Wolf, Tara, Maggy…they were all on the ground now, moaning in pain.
I shouted, it was the only thing I could do. Scalding tears were rolling down my cheeks as I witnessed Kellan, ready to trigger the gun he was holding against his temple.
Despair was crushing me. I was totally useless.
What is happening to me? I started enquiring, dizzy. The pain of the restraints Bochi and Stern had afflicted was unbearable, their victory laughter was resonating through my mind.
I instinctively put the palms of my hand at the back of my head that was sore.
The chip, it must be the chip… I suddenly understood. With all the strength I had left, I willed the chip that had been inserted deep in my skull to leave my body.
"No…" I could hear Bochi.
I was now holding it in my hands, but felt the dark liquid it had been containing, still running through my veins.
"It is too late!" Stern replied. And I saw that Kellan and my friends were all suffocating.
Reacting to this horrifying view by moving of its own accord, I felt my body rise in the moonlit sky.
My arms spread, my feet touching each other, my shadow two feet above ground.
"No, I need her alive!" I heard Stern command her soldiers.
When my hands opened up, facing the full moon, I could feel unbearable pain transpiercing them, I felt everyone's suffering, their loud moaning, imploring me to end it. My heart was bleeding with them and boiling with the determination to end it all.
Remember who you are, who we all are… I heard a voice say, resonating from deep within. It had revived another memory.
CHAPTER 7 –
Amethyst Eight
Suddenly a blast of powerful light coming from my center ignited. This Light was growing into a burning fire in my heart, so strong and so pure, it was now purifying my whole body, blazing in my hands. This fire was cleansing me entirely, leaving me to enter each core. It had taken the shape of a rainbow and was illuminating the darkness that had emerged.
I now felt and saw the dark liquid leaving everyone else's body, gathering in front of me, forming a levitating black pool, together with the soldiers'guns and the liquid empty metallic shells.
The palms of my hands burnt it all with windy force, only leaving incandescent dust.
When my feet resumed touching the ground, the sun was slowly rising on the horizon.
A bright triangle had taken shape in front of me, then a second one, its peak down. At its center I could see a white flower resting on a rainbow sea.
Tears of joy resumed rolling down my cheeks as I understood, walking to my friends, and with all my being, these words, the true meaning of incarnation, to remember, open our eyes and heart to who we are in essence – Love and Light – to find our way back home, to the Light.
Stern was looking at me aghast and Bochi was soon at her side.
As I was walking to meet them both, their army started running away.
When I was facing them, I explained "Your vision of the world is deformed, you only see with hate and fear. All the powers you thought you had or you thought you had given others are meaningless because the true force, your true perfect being, what you've been searching for all your life, resides in your heart. It is done. The answer to our unconsciousness, our darkness has already been given. The Light has already won. We just need to realize it now… Stern is not your real name.
Please let me show you…" I offered.
She was further looking at me, not knowing what to expect but let me approach her nevertheless.
I put my forehead against hers, my right hand on her center, a halo of rainbow Light enveloping us both as my mind was showing hers where her family and ancestors were, having forgiven themselves and others.
"You are pure Spirit of Light and Love for eternity, incarnated as Jilla, for Joy, Inspiration, Light, Love and Altruism. Your name means "The Lord is Gracious." I told her, now removing my hand.
- Savta… Soon, Jilla started sobbing in Bochi's arms and I left them both kneeling on the grass.
Kellan was facing me now. I looked into his eyes. They were so pure and vast like an ocean of peace.
I felt his Love vibrate with mine.
I needed to touch him, to know it hadn't been just a dream, I needed to feel him close to me.
He took me in his arms, his strong Light protecting me from the rest of the world, his body irradiating his warmth.
I was home and felt whole and safe again, I had found him and he had found me.
He touched my face and took it in his hands.
His intense stare ignited the same fire, so strong and so pure. It was fueled by the rhythm of our hearts, consuming me entirely.
He kissed me like it was our first time – a timeless zone where we surrendered to each other, leaving, for a moment – blinded by our blazing fire – this world behind.
I Love you… my soul shouted to his.
I Love you forever… he answered, his forehead against mine. And he kissed me one last time.
I was now smiling at him.
Kellan took my hand in his and we turned around facing the sun.
It was bathing us all in its Light.
Maggy, Kellan and Jared, Tara, Wolf, Toby, Ry, Jeanne, Scott and Bree, Jilla and Bochi… we were all forming a beautiful symbol, resembling the contour of a lotus whose petals were all opening at the same time, our beautiful Rainbow Energy growing and spreading, in front of this new World opening to us all, this Eden, here and now.
As Above, so Below. I heard my deep voice cry out.
And I smiled again.
"And if awakening was simply waking up to what we are in essence? And if this journey to awakening was opening ourselves to the destruction of everything we thought we knew, everything we heard or learned to be true, emptying ourselves of all these delusions? And let vacuity fill the vacuity, and be, as it is in our heart, the incarnation of LIGHT, LOVE?
Do not follow orders, traditions, texts blindly…
Do not look outside of yourself for what you already have inside. Listen to your deep voice and wake up, remember who you are, let this Love and Light run through your veins, knowing that every word, act, thought of Love for you, each other, our Planet, elevates us all because we all share the same logos written in our DNA."
Amy Lee Belle.
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