I realize that this might be a popular thing for people to write, but I solemnly swear that I have never seen one before, and that I didn't copy any of these. If this parallels any fanfiction, that is purely coincidence.
Top 12 Bad Ideas For Naruto N00bs, Or Anyone Else For That Matter
12. Ask Gaara which bullies on the playground gave him those black eyes
11. Ask Tsunade if she's ever experienced the wonders of silicone
10. Tell Sasori that he must be the Fourth Kazekage's love child, because he looks like Gaara's older brother more than Kankuro
9. Add that Mom Puppet and Dad Puppet most certainly will not take this news well
8. Confuse Shikaku with Shukaku
7. Ask Deidara when he banged Art, un
6. Conspiratorially ask if Art is male or female, un
5. Tell Chouji that he's at the caterpillar stage of butterfly-dom
4. Ask Iruka if he belonged to a nose-slasher cult before becoming a teacher
3. Scold him for converting Yondaime and convincing him to nose-slash his infant son
2. Ask Naruto if the nose-slasher cult scarred him for life mentally as well as physically
1. Tell Sasuke that Itachi was misunderstood and clinically depressed