The Silver Linings Playbook: Hail Mary

Chapter One: Awkward first steps

Pat is kissing me on the street cover in christmas lights when Veronica comes looking for me. There is shock on her face when I look at her. I expect and explosion, but instead she smiles and stares down at her feet. I look up at Pat, who is now blushing, and cannot help but smirk. He's so modest and gentle. If he knew some of the things i've done, He'd have an aneurism. The thought makes me laugh.

"Pat, I assume you will be taking Tiffany home. Ronnie and I need get home to relieve the babysitter," Von says awkwardly.

He nods and takes my hand. "Are you ready to go, Tiff?"

"Yes."

We walk, since Pat cannot drive and my car is at home, because our neighborhood is only a few blocks away. I'm happy to have the time to talk, since I have only a million questions.

"How exactly does this work," I ask. He simply wraps one of his muscular arms around my shoulder and takes a deep breath. "Well, We start slow. I'll take you out on a real date, and we can keep dancing. If you want?"

"Slow?" A blush forms on his cheek.

"Yes, If you're okay with that?"

"I'd love that," I lie a little. Obviously, I am human, an addict, and Pat is sexy. I also know that sex complicates things, and i'd rather not complicate this, yet. We walk in silence until I remember his christmas present that is tucked into my coat. I undo a few buttons, and pull out the chart. "I almost forgot to give you your christian present. It's not much, but I think you'll like it."

A cloud-chart?"

"Yeah, I noticed you stare at the clouds when you run, so I thought you might like to know what the shapes mean."

"This is perfect, Tiff. Thank you," he says and kisses my forehead, then pulls a little grey box from his pants pocket. He hands it to me with a funny expression, So I open it. It's a silver charm bracelet, and each charm has significance. The first charm is a cursive "T", a tiny pair of ballet shoes, a police badge, which bring water to my eyes, a football, and a snowflake, They are all beautiful. "Thank you," I say and kiss his scruffy cheek. "You're welcome."

We are on my street now and Pat is bathed in the lights. When we get to my door, he takes my keys and opens it for me.

"Would you like to come in for a cup of coffee?"

"Sure," he says with a funny expression. I lead him up the staircase to my apartment, which is tiny, but perfect for me. I watch his face as he takes it all in. My kitchen and living room are combined, and there is a little hallway that leads to my bedroom and bathroom. I motion for him to take a seat on the couch, and turn on the coffee maker. After I pour two cups of coffee, I take my seat beside him. Pat takes a sip and smiles, "This is tremendous." Making coffee is one of the ticks I picked up after I got fired. I took a part time job at the little coffee shop in town. The thought makes me frown a little.

"So you want to keep dancing, or what?" He nods as he takes another sip. "Did you ever read Lord of the Flies," I ask out of curiosity. "No. I had to return it before I got the chance."

"You can borrow my copy," I say hop up from the couch and retrieve the copy from my room.

"Really?"

"No, I just like to offer stuff to other people all the time to mess with their heads. Why you want to read it is beyond me, but you're more then welcome to it." Pat laughs.

"I started reading for her," he say gently and I feel the bile rise in my throat. "But after a while, I kind of enjoyed it. It's relaxing and helps me calm down when my mood is I can relate to.

"When did you read this?"

"After Tommy died, and I was put into therapy. My therapist suggested I find a more constructed method of coping, outside of sex, so I started to read."

"Did it help?"

"Yeah, for the most part." He thought about that for a moment.

"What else have you read?"

"I'll show you. Follow me."

I lead him to my room down the hall. He takes all this in too. His eyes take in the dark blue walls and wood floor, the small double bed with the patchwork quilt on top, and the white lights that hang above it. "What do you think," I ask after a minute, and he grows stiff. "I think you are beautiful and very sexy, but we should-"

"I was talk about my room, Pat. What do you think about my room?"

"Oh! It's soothing. I like blue, too." I chuckle and point him towards the bookshelf on the wall beside my closet. It's wall length and full. I need to thin out some of the books, so that I can add more. His eyes widen. "Wow. You like to read."

"I used to think about sex a lot," I say and flop down on my bed. "Borrow what ever you like." He reads throughout the titles and I see his hand stop at the black case. "You can look," I tell him. Pat pops open the lid and stares down at Tommy's badge with a sad expression. "It's okay. It's just one of the things I held on to for memories' sake."

"Did I ever tell you I was sorry," he ask, and I'm confused.

"Sorry for what?"

"Sorry that you had to lose him," he say gently. Tears come to my eyes. "It's not your fault, Pat. Don't worry."

"It's not yours either." I look out my window and say nothing. This is not a conversation I want to have tonight. Pat picks up on my hint and goes back to looking through my books. He picks The Count of Monte Christo and comes to join me. "Would you read to me," I ask. He nods and lays back on the pillows. I curl up to his side and listen to his voice. It doesn't take long for me to fall asleep.