Title: Wanted
Summary: Sean wants to make Alex feel wanted.
Author's Note: This fic tends to be rather cheesy, so beware if that's not your thing. Also, English is not my native language, so I apologize for any errors you might stumble unto. If you do, please tell me about them so I can avoid making the same mistake in the future. Also, this song was written with the song 'Wanted' by Hunter Hayes playing in the background…be on the lookout for a future Mikita/Salex fanvid to that song on YouTube.
Anyone can tell you you´re pretty
You get that all the time, I know you do
But your beauty is deeper than the makeup
And I wanna show you what I see tonight
Sean has been absent-minded an awful lot today, so Nikita had suggested Alex took him for a walk on the beach.
So there they are, sauntering their way forward in silence that probably only feels comfortable to Sean. Alex's mind is rushing to find any topic they could talk about, but none of them seem good enough to break the silence.
She shoots the person strolling next to her a glance. His hands are shoved deep into the pockets of his slacks, his black tie flutters aimlessly as the wind brushes past it. He takes a deep breath, his eyes scrutinizing the area around them, exploring the scenery.
Alex sighs because she finds it hard to decipher his abstruse spectrum of emotions. She wonders if it's anger or sadness underneath that mask of detachment. Tonight, she just can´t see past the slightly curly hair that blows in the wind or the stoic glance that would burn right through her if they were directed at her.
'What are you thinking about?' she decides to ask him.
It takes a moment for him to respond. 'Tomorrow.' She hears after she looks away.
She nods in understanding.
'This life…that we're living, it's so fast-paced and hazardous. Lately I haven't been able to sleep very well because I've been worried that I'd lose the people I love.' He tries with all his might to keep his voice steady and stable.
She nods again. She wants to tell him that he doesn't need to worry, that it'll all be okay. But she knows that it would be unfair to him if she tried comforting him with a lie. Truth is, he was right. It is very possible that tomorrow, someone close to them will die. Nikita, Michael, Birkhoff, Ryan, Owen… She shudders at the thought.
'Well, never forget what we're doing this for. In order to take down Division, sacrifices must be made. Even if those sacrifices are our own lives.'
'Or the lives of others.' He adds for her. She falls silent.
They share a look in silence, before Sean breaks out a small smile. It's been a while since Alex has last seen him smile, so she carefully beams back at him. 'What? What are you thinking about now?'
'Let's just say,' Sean begins, his gaze wandering off to the open sea. 'I'm glad that your mother's safe.'
'So am I.' she speaks softly and nudges him playfully. 'Thanks again.'
'You're welcome.' His fist collides with her right arm and she gasps in shock.
'Hey! No fair, I just nudged you.'
'Don't be such a baby, I know you can take it.' Sean chuckles, but ducks away when Alex coils her body for another punch.
'Eye for an eye, Sean!'
'Fine, I guess it's only fair.' Sean stands up tall, and Alex smiles, delivering a hard punch to his arm. 'Ow! God, that one really hurt.'
'Don't be such a baby, I know you can take it.' She repeats his words mockingly, though the playfulness is still evident in her tone.
He rubs his arm, laughing. 'I can take it, I just never said I wasn't a drama queen.'
Now it's Alex's turn to laugh and roll her eyes. 'You are something.'
'So are you.'
They continue their walk and this time, the silence that stretches between them is definitely a comfortable one. Alex's little smiles occasionally slip through the cracks, and she tells herself that tonight, she finally had a carefree moment. She can't believe that a few months ago, Sean was someone she could hardly stand, and now his presence was the reason she was smiling.
'Hey, can I ask you something?' Sean breaks the silence and pulls her out of her thoughts. Alex stops in her pace, looking back at him with a quizzical look on her face. He awkwardly smiles to the ground and blushes, something the Navy Seal hardly ever does. It brings a smile to Alex's face. 'Don't take this the wrong way, Alex, but…' he looks back up at her and she feels her cheeks burning as his chocolate brown eyes look deeply into hers. 'I think you're very beautiful. And smart. Most importantly, you can handle your beretta.' They share a chuckle. 'At the risk of sounding like a biased parent: how come the guys aren't all over you?' He chuckles slightly to himself. 'And by guys I obviously don't mean shady Russian pimps. But… I mean, a real guy. Someone who truly sees how amazing you are and wants to spend all of his time learning everything about you.´ Sean cocks his head a little, watching her as her head bows to the ground. ´I don´t mean to pry. If you don´t want to talk about it, it´s cool.´
Alex curses inwardly at herself when she feels a single tear escaping from her eyes, making its way down her cheek. Her thoughts wander to Thom, and Nathan, and the intense fear of being intimate with a man that haunted her for years. She feels a warm hand on her face, and she lifts it up so her eyes can look back at the man attached to the hand. ´Hey,´ Sean's voice, a voice that can be so strong and powerful, is now nothing but a mere whisper, ´Don´t take this the wrong way.´
He leans in, a little hesitant. Her eyes open wide in expectation as she feels his breath linger over her lips. She struggles to control her breathing, anticipating that will happen next. ´I´m not.´ she speaks, under her breath. He takes it as an invitation and smiles, although it´s hardly recognizable. But it´s definitely not missed on her. He closes the gap between them and the rush of excitement, the thrill of something new, shoots through his veins and delivers a jolt to his bones. It takes every fiber in his being to concentrate on keeping his knees steady. His hands travel up to cup her face and hers grab a firm hold of the hair on the back of his head.
Their kiss is very gentle and tentative and Sean confirms that it´s better than in any of his dreams because yes, he has dreamt about her on suspiciously often occasions.
On Alex's side, all of her fears seem to wash away because Sean's lips tell her a story, one she can perfectly understand. He´s careful to proceed with every move he makes, like a soldier sneaking through the woods, careful not to be caught. But despite that, his lips are also most likely to be able to please her sexually without making her feel dirty after the process. It´s something that she must learn by taking a step forward and she wonders if she´s willing to do that with Sean. He´s the same in comparison to Thom and Nathan, and yet, he´s different. It´s hard to find a proper word for it, really.
After a moment, the need for oxygen forces them to pull apart, and Alex is the first one to break away, using her hands on his shoulders to move her lips away from his, albeit so very slightly that their foreheads are still connecting and the smell of his breath is still tickling her nose. 'Hey.' He breathes, using the tip of his finger to softly brush a strand of hair out of her eyes.
The cold wind breezes between them, and Sean slowly looks back at the beach house. 'It's starting to get chilly. We should go back.'
She nods, though she is unwilling to leave anytime soon. Her mouth opens, but she can't find the words to describe what just happened between them, so they shut again. It's like Sean can read her mind. He takes her hand and squeezes it gently. 'I'm not sure what this is gonna be, Alex. Just know that I'll do anything to keep you safe,' Her face is starting to fall again, and he uses his other hand to lift it back up. 'and wanted.'
'Thank you.' It's the best thing she can come up with, she doesn't really know what else to say to that. His hand releases her and she immediately starts rubbing her arms.
'Oh, here, let me help you with that.' Before she can protest, he shrugs off his jacket and drapes it over her shoulders. Its warmth is appreciated and the smell of Sean's cologne is oddly familiar to her. She inwardly chuckles at what she must look like, the thing has got to be at least two sizes too big for her. 'Thank you.' She repeats, now obviously referring to his chivalry, and he just smiles, placing his hand on her smaller back as they begin stroll back to the beach house.
Due to the events that had occurred in her life, Alex often finds herself feeling like a tramp, like she´s not worth having a true romantic relationship because of what she´s done and been through. Sometimes the thought of suicide still lingers in her mind, but then she´d feel guilty about leaving Nikita behind.
Her hand grabs the collar of Sean´s jacket firmly so that it won´t slip off her shoulders. She smiles slightly when Sean puts an arm around her so that she can feel as warm as possible. She can´t deny that she´s profoundly grateful of his chivalry despite his mother´s death, and she can´t deny that she wants to do everything she can to help him cope with it. She can´t deny that she´s learn to accept – or better yet – need a certain Sean Pierce in her life. He's said some incredibly sweet things to her today, and the best part is: she believes him when he says that she's beautiful. And that feeling is one that she was eager to feel for years.
Tonight, he definitely made her feel wanted.
Author's Note: So what do you think? I know the ending is a little bit rushed, but I'd still love to hear your opinion. Hell, if I get enough reviews, I might be pumped to write another Salex fic. Maybe even multichap.