I wasn't planning to include these in Freaking Out at all, or even on this website, but if any of these little drabbles get good feedback, I many include more detailed versions later in my other story. These are random and pointless (even more so than my usual writing—hard to imagine, I know). Humor was the main intent of the first one, not a perfect example of the characters being true to the show. They also have nothing to do with Freaking Out, I've just used the same concepts and OCs.

"Why can't you appreciate my sense of humor?"

Sharon and Andy got home from a neighbor's party one night, and Sharon went straight to their bedroom to take off her bra. It had been itching like crazy for the last hour, and she couldn't figure out what the problem was. Andy watched her hastily pull her dress over her head and unhook her bra, curious to see what the rush was about. And, admittedly, a little optimistic about her urgency to get undressed. Sharon could tell what he was thinking, and he was going to be disappointed when he realized it was just an itchy bra that had caused her to hurry to the bedroom. She was briefly shocked when a tampon fell on the floor once her bra was loose, but then she remembered Emily asking her to "hold" it for her, since neither of them had taken their purses in or had pockets, and Emily couldn't hide it as well with what she was wearing. She'd ended up not needing it, and they'd both forgotten all about it.

The amused look on Andy's face turned to horror. He thought she'd mentioned menopause before, and he'd just assumed she was past the need for tampons, anyway, so he'd never thought twice about that or their absence of protection. There were some kind of pads under the bathroom sink, but he'd thought they were for...Well, not for her period. He'd just filed those under things I don't need to know anything about and moved on with life, but the tampon was making him second-guess his knowledge of the reproductive system. "You don't still—I mean—you can't get...You—" He sputtered.

Sharon rolled her eyes. She was over sixty, was he seriously afraid she could get pregnant? Surely not, but that didn't stop her from messing with his head a little. "That's why my bra was itching so badly. I ended up not needing it, and—"

Andy let out a sound that was somewhere between a gasp and a yelp. "I didn't think you ever did need—uh—those."

"Tampon, Andy, it's called a tampon. You can say it. And I don't need them that much, but I'm not completely through menopause, either."

"But you can't, like...can you—"

"Get pregnant? Not likely." Sharon finished getting undressed and slipped a nightgown over her head.

"Not likely, or not possible?! There's a bit of a difference, there." Andy's voice was getting higher and higher with each word, and the poor man looked panicked.

Sharon bit her lip, trying to hold out for just a couple more minutes. "I don't know—I—" she lost it and was soon laughing so hard that tears were streaming down her cheeks. "It was for Emily. She asked me to keep it for her, because her dress wouldn't have hidden it as well, and my bra is obviously bigger, anyway, and then she didn't need it and we both forgot about it."

"That wasn't one damn bit funny," Andy muttered.

Sharon moved closer to Andy and slipped her arms around his waist. "Why can't you appreciate my sense of humor?"

"That wasn't humor, that was cruelty."

Sharon stood on her tiptoes to kiss him. "I have a feeling you'll get over it."

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"They're so cute when they're asleep."

Sharon walked into the living room with a warmed bottle of milk in her hand one Friday night. "All right, baby girl, I think it's time for a bath and bedtime." She picked the drowsy seven-month-old up off of the floor and handed her and the bottle to Andy. "Mind feeding her while I run her bath?"

"I think I can handle that for my sweet girl." Andy arranged Marie in his arms and offered her the bottle.

Sharon went back to the bathroom that had been Emily's and Emmett's before they found a house, as she had kept some baby things there after they moved out, and started the bath water. Emily and Emmett were in New York for a friend's wedding for the weekend, so Sharon and Andy were keeping Marie. Ricky was home for the weekend, and he and Rusty had gone to a movie. While Sharon was waiting, she gathered a fresh diaper, nightgown, and sleep sack and placed them on the bed. She tested the temperature of the bath water and let it fill a little more before turning it off and going to get the baby. Marie was finishing up her bottle by the time Sharon came back in, and she held her hands out to her. "All right, tell Papa night-night."

"Night-night, sweet girl." Andy kissed Marie's forehead and rubbed her back. She whimpered and rubbed her eyes throughout her bath, so Sharon did the bare minimum and skipped the playtime. "Okay, that's enough." She lifted the baby out of the bathtub and wrapped her in a soft yellow, hooded towel before carrying her into what was now the guest bedroom to dry her off and get her ready for bed. Once she was dry and had lotion on, Sharon taped a diaper on her and struggled with the squirming baby to get her gown on her. Marie screamed and reached for Sharon, not liking being messed with when she was so tired.

"I'm sorry, sweetheart, Gammy kept you up a little too late, didn't she?" Sharon quickly zipped Marie into the sleep sack, picked her up, and found a spare pacifier. "Okay, honey, let's go rock." Emily was adamant about putting Marie down for bed when she was still awake, but Sharon liked to rock her to sleep and hold her for a few minutes before she put her down. Hell, what Emily didn't know wouldn't hurt her. "You're not going to rat me out to Mommy, are you?" Sharon cooed as she settled in the recliner with the baby in her arms. She turned on the white noise app on her phone, which had been a lifesaver in Marie's earlier days when she was much more difficult to get quiet, and patted the baby's back as she rocked. It didn't take long for Marie to fall asleep, and Sharon looked down at her and inhaled her sweet baby smell for a few minutes before begrudgingly laying her down in the pack 'n play in her and Andy's room. The sound machine was still on from her last nap, and Sharon made sure the pack 'n play was empty before lowering Marie to the small mattress. "Sweet dreams, baby girl," Sharon murmured as she ran her hand through Marie's thin, light brown hair. She quietly cracked the door behind her, stopped in the kitchen for a glass of wine, and went back to the living room.

"Want to watch a movie?" Andy asked.

"Sure. You can pick."

"Nah, you can pick. If we start something I pick this late, you'll get bored and fall asleep in ten minutes."

"I don't sleep," Sharon insisted, "I rest my eyes."

Andy snorted. "Yeah. If you drool that much while you're resting your eyes, you would drown yourself when you're really asleep."

"I don't drool!"

"Tell it to my shirts, honey."

"Pick out a movie. I will not fall asleep."

Andy gave her a dubious look as she curled up beside him in the recliner, but he navigated through Netflix and picked something. Sharon sipped her wine and made a valiant effort to stay awake, but Andy's shoulder was so inviting, and taking care of a seven month old all day had worn her out. She couldn't stop her eyes from starting to close. "I'm not asleep," she murmured.

"Whatever you say." Andy wrapped his arm around her and started to drift off himself, with his chin resting on the top of her head.

Ricky and Rusty came home as the movie was ending, and Sharon and Andy hadn't moved. Sharon's glasses had drifted halfway down her face and her mouth was hanging open, and Andy was lightly snoring with his face nestled in Sharon's hair. Ricky looked around. "At least we didn't have to worry about walking in on something that would scar us for life...They're so cute when they're asleep."

Rusty rolled his eyes. "Just wait until they wake up. They'll be right back to being disgusting."