Disclaimer: All characters, places, and anything familiar from the Twilight Novels belong to Stephenie Meyer and Summit.

In My Life

"Some are dead and some are living
In my life I've loved them all"

Prologue

This was not how Lauren saw herself at 18.

Known as the self-absorbed bitch, one of the prettiest girls at school that had a temper to match. People tended to shy away from her. Always admired from afar. No one ever bothered to actually get to know her — apart from the gossip that circled around her — to everyone around she was a complete and total stranger with a beautiful face.

Jessica Stanley was what she once could've considered a close friend — even when Lauren thought it was because she was popular — and although Jessica was popular in her own right, Jess assumed that two popular people equaled two best friends.

Now seniors they were still considered the top of the food chain at Forks High. To an outsider their lives were wonderfully perfect. Boys wanted to date them and girls wanted to be them.

While everything seemed great underneath it was all coming down to a boiling point.

Lauren was born in Forks, Washington. Her parents — both doctors — married as soon as they finished their residencies in Seattle. Her grandparents from her father's side lived in Forks. Patricia, Lauren's mother, was scheduled for delivery the first week of February, but went into labor a few days early while visiting her in-laws.

All things considered, her mother didn't care where Lauren was born as long as she was healthy. Her daddy told her once that they had created the most beautiful baby girl in the world — ivory skin with a tuff of white-blonde hair, rosy cheeks and green-gray eyes — looking as delicate as a porcelain doll.

She grew up being an only child. Right after she was born her father, Christopher, decided that one child was enough, even though her mother had always wanted to have at least three children. This was the source of several fights that her father ended winning when her mother realized that being a doctor left her with barely enough time to take care of Lauren.

Aside from that, Lauren thought that she led a happy life. Being part of what she considered a perfect family. Two successful and loving parents, weekly visits to her grandparents — who dotted on her every whim — birthdays and holidays spent together, somehow both her parents managed to be present. Lauren couldn't have asked for more.

It all came to a screeching halt almost a month before her ninth birthday. Her mother received a phone call from Lauren's grandfather when she and her mother were celebrating Christmas with her mother's family in Appleton, Wisconsin; it was the first holiday her family hadn't spent together because her daddy had to stay back home working.

It was the day before New Year's Eve. She would forever remember that day. Her mother's crying face was burned in her memory. Her mother had taken her to their room and told Lauren that her daddy had been sick for a while and now he was going to live in heaven and that he wouldn't be staying with them anymore. Her memory became a blur after that. Somehow they ended up living with her grandparents in Forks, her mother taking a job at Forks Hospital. They didn't need the money but her mother insisted that she had to keep herself busy. She recalled her grandfather telling her that they were welcome to stay for as long as they wanted, that the house was now theirs too.

Since her mother was rarely home, her grandfather became like a second father to her. Anything she wanted she got — it didn't matter that she was his only grandchild. Her room was full of stuffed animals and dolls. Every time he traveled to Seattle he came home with a new toy, or all kinds of sweets for her.

Her grandmother on the other hand became the voice of reason. Always trying to tell her grandfather not to spoil her — although her pleas were half-hearted and she always had a slight twinkle in her eyes. Her mother kept reminding Lauren that it was the grandparents' job to spoil their grandkids rotten.

And once again her happiness was cut short. While her grandfather portrayed the image of a very healthy man, he suffered from diabetes. It still came as a surprise when the result from one of his regular checkups came back positive for cancer. In fact he was completely riddled with it. The doctors were baffled over how it had never showed up in previous tests. They theorized that the diabetes had dulled the pain the cancer was supposed to cause and that it had developed extremely fast for them detect sooner.

It all went downhill from there. Her grandfather was moved to a hospital in Seattle because her grandmother wanted to get him the best treatment available money could afford, while she and her mother had to stay back in Forks. After three months of painful tests and treatments the doctors concluded that there was nothing else to do but keep him comfortable. Her grandmother brought him home.

Lauren would spend the afternoons with him in his room, watching TV or discussing her history homework — her grandfather considered himself a history buff, always telling her little tidbits or unknown facts — while he smoked from his pipe or the occasional cigarette. Her grandmother hated when he smoked — a habit he had picked when he was young and refused to quit — and would leave the room now that he was in permanent bed rest.

Lauren tried to spend every waking moment with him, he somehow managed to always make her feel safe and comfortable, she was his pumpkin — it appeared unconventional pet names were a Mallory family trait, her father had named her penguin after the way she waddled everywhere when she learned how to walk — and would sometimes spend the night in his old recliner in his room. Her grandmother didn't have the heart to tell her to sleep in her own room.

One cool April morning her world crashed and burned when she found his bed empty. Lauren felt a sense of déjà-vu when her mother led her to her room and told her that her grandfather was now with her daddy. That day she understood the meaning of death, it came as a big blow when she realized she was never going to see her father or grandfather ever again. She was still very young when her father died — she still was — but two years seemed enough for her mind to grasp the painful concept.

She locked herself in her room and cried for days, cried for both of her lost loved ones. She threw a tantrum of epic proportions when her mother denied her the chance to say goodbye to her beloved grandfather at his funeral because she was too young to attend.

Several times she found herself wondering what had she done so wrong for God to take her father and then her grandfather away from her. She had loved them both so very much. With this idea came a sense of loss and grief that lodged deep inside her heart. She recalled her mother telling her that time healed all wounds. Lauren was sure it was a lie she was told to appease her tortured mind. She couldn't see a time when it would ever stop hurting.

They stayed with her grandmother for less than a year after her grandfather's death. By that time her mother was fed up with her grandmother's attitude. She became quite bitter after the loss of both her husband and only son. Although she still treated Lauren the same way she always did, there was an air of sorrow always surrounding her. The attitude towards her mother on the other hand was downright mean. Her grandmother once told Lauren that parents weren't meant to bury their children. She didn't blame her for being overwhelmed with that kind of pain.

After everything that happened, Lauren became a shy and withdrawn child. She was far from the bubbly, ever-chatty little girl she used to be. It didn't help that the kids at school would make fun of her and treat her like she was a leper. They say kids are sometimes very cruel, not knowing the extent of the damage they can inflict on another human being.

Her mother noticed that she had trouble making friends at school and started getting worried, so she decided to take Lauren to see a psychologist. Lauren didn't see the point. She knew that there was nothing wrong with her; it was the other kids that had problems with her, not the other way around. Still her mother insisted and Lauren went along with her. After a year with constant therapy she appeared to be ready to move on and make friends but nobody at school wanted to be around her.

By the time Lauren was thirteen her mother decided to take a year off to spend it with their family in Appleton. The change of scenery was apparently all that Lauren needed, making her come out of her shell; on the outside it seemed she had reverted to the girl she was before all the tragedy befell her life. Being the new kid helped quite a bit. She made friends with about everyone in her year; she got invited to parties and sleepovers. Even when some of the wounds were starting to close, the pain and sorrow was still there. Still she made an effort to be happy. She really tried.

After the year was up, her mother wanted to head back to her job in Forks. Lauren threw a tantrum that would have made any toddler proud. She screamed and begged her mother to let her stay. She felt dread just imagining going back to a place where she had no friends and where she knew everyone would look down on her for not having a father. Still her mother wasn't moved by her pleas and took Lauren straight back with her to Forks. Then and there she decided she wasn't going to let anyone make her feel bad about herself.

Now that she was fourteen — halfway to fifteen — her body had hit puberty. She looked somewhat different but still the same. She had lost all her baby fat, leaving her with a slender body with a hint of curves, her white-blonde hair reached beyond her shoulder blades with a slight wave, she had ivory skin with a hint of a blush, big green-gray eyes, a slight turned up nose and pouty rosy lips. She still had the delicate look of a porcelain doll.

Her slight change in appearance coupled up with hormonal fifteen year old boys were enough to make her the most sought after girl in school. Now everyone wanted to hang out with her. She, on the other hand didn't forget years of being treated like an outsider. Even when she behaved as if they were the scum beneath her shoes, people still flocked towards her.

That's how she found herself being 'best friends' with Jessica Stanley and ended up dating Mike Newton for over three months of her freshman year.

When the school year ended, Lauren thought she was going to spend the summer at her relatives' house in Appleton. But all her plans of visiting friends went down the drain when a new family moved to Forks from Alaska, or somewhere along the lines.

Dr. Carlisle Cullen took the job of head physician at the hospital and her mother apparently had to stay and help the new doctor. Lauren hadn't met them in person but the town was on intense gossip mode. New people rarely came to live to Forks so she thought the reaction was kind of expected.

She heard from her mother that young Dr. Cullen was married and had adopted five kids. Two were related to his wife Esme, twins, or so her mother had said. The five of them were to start school in September with everyone else.

If only she'd known of all the drama that was about to be unleashed, she would have run straight back to Appleton, her mother be damned.

A/N: the songs used as titles and quotes are from LP's I found belonged to my parents, specially my dad's. Links to the songs can be found in my profile.