Disclaimer: Joss Whedon owns all Buffy The Vampire Slayer and Angel
characters including Dawn and Spike, tear sad tear. And Blink 182 own's "I
miss you". The song, that is. But I own the story.
A/N: Here's a short song fiction between Dawn and Spike. Buffy never comes back to life after she jumps from the tower, and after taking care of Dawn for a while, Spike leaves for what he though was the best. It's to Blink182's "I Miss You". Please read and review! - brianna -----------
He stopped in midstep as he heard quiet tears fall. Had he not had extra sensitive ears, he knew he would have never caught the sounds of water droplets hitting stone and the small shudders of breath.
"Bloody hell," he thought to himself, "What stupid bint would be in the heart of a graveyard in the middle of the ruddy night?!" Spike sighed heavily, and looked through the branches blocking his view of whoever was crying. When the curtain of leaves no longer blocked his vision, spike saw a young girl laying in fetal position on Buffy's grave. Anger flooded through every inch of his cold skin. How dare someone lay anywhere near Buffy's grave? Damn well near blasphemy, it was to him. Spike could feel a low growl begin to form in the back of his throat, but it caught suddenly choking him as the girl's head shot up.
Spike reeled backwards from the blow of recognition. Dawn, Nibblet. He studied her, shock at not knowing whom she was coursing through him. Dawn's hair was just as long as it was a year ago, but had lost its original gleam that was so characteristically Dawn Summers. Her eyes were hallow and dead as they darted around the small clearing encircling Buffy's grave. Her pale face held no pigment besides the purple circles inset under both of her eyes.
She was so different, this couldn't be his Dawn. This was not the Dawn he remembered, and will forever hold near to him. He knew that he faced the risks of her reaction when he came back to Sunnydale for her. He expected her to be angry for leaving her. He expected to be called a 'hideous creature' and a worthless thing' just as the person who's grave she lay on had so many times.
But Spike never would have expected this. His Dawn was a strong girl. This Dawn was haunted, empty. He knew that she was not just crying over some petty problem. He could smell it on her. The need and yearning for death. Spike never expected to be so frightened of the one person he cared about most. His unbeating heart sank to the depths of his belly when he heard what she sobbed into the darkness, bravado of fearlessness in her manner.
"Please, . . . whoever or whatever you are, just kill me here, just kill me here.please, I don't care anymore, please come out and take this, take this away from me, please, please." Dawn rested her upper body and head on the grass by her sister's headstone once more, her hair in a dead halo around her shoulders.
Poor Bit, Spike thought to himself. Missing older sis so much, look how much it haunts her soul, how could I leave her like this? I thought I was being strong for her, I'm such a bloody git, look at her; how I wish I could hold her. Look how much she misses her family, lying on Buffy's grave and next to her mother's as if it's the last thing she had. She wants death, I can't feel it, I can taste her need for an end.
"Don't waste your time on me, you're already a voice inside my head." Spike looked up from his boots at the figure whimpering into the grass. "I miss you, miss you. . .miss you. . .miss you" He watched her repeat this many times, no emotion showing on his face. He didn't know what to do, he didn't know if there was anything he could do for this haunted shadow of a girl he loved. He couldn't take away the pain of her sister's death; he couldn't help her out of grief for the death of B-
"Spike!" Dawn sobbed, her thin shoulders shaking. Spike's head jerked up and he stared at her. Had she just said his name? Did she know he was there?
"Spike.oh, Spike it hurts," she wailed louder. He almost ran to her until he heard her speak again. "Why did you leave me? I miss you, I miss you, I miss you. . . miss you miss you."
Spike recoiled for the second time that evening. It wasn't Buffy that she was crying over, it was his bloody worthlessness. Tears ran down from his eyes and raced down his high cheekbones. He clutched a shaking hand to where his heart would have beat if he were human. If he weren't a soulless bastard who hurt little girls.
"Spike, ". . . she whispered to the wind as it encircled her, making her hold her knees to her chest for warmth. He watched her, frozen as she opened her lips and hummed to herself, rocking back and forth on the gravesite. After a while of this, she sat up and wiped her red eyes on her sleeve. She scooted back so that her back was flat against Buffy's headstone, and covered her head in her sweatshirt hood. Hugging her arms over her head, he could see the tears fall again silently as she whispered in the tune of her earlier humming.
"Where are you? And I'm so sorry. I cannot sleep, I cannot dream tonight I need somebody and always Comes creeping on so haunting every time And as I stared I counted webs from all the spiders Catching things and eating their insides Like indecion to find you And hear your voice of treason Will you come home and stop this pain tonight? Stop this pain tonight"
At the end of her lullaby, Dawn got up and leaned against the headstone. For the first time in over a year, Spike got a good look at what his Nibblet had become. Sickeningly pale and thin. Her clothing was torn and hung loosely from her once healthy body. Dirt covered her entirety, and scrapes and bruises dotted all over her lithe figure.
"Don't waste your time on me, you're already the voice inside my head. . . I miss you, miss you." She whispered again, and pulled her bottom lip into her mouth. Love for this girl poured from Spike when he saw her do this. This was his Dawn. Dawn always had done that when she was upset or frightened, but had only done it for him. No one else was allowed to see her weak, to take care of her. Take care of her like only he could, until he left her, that is.
Dawn turned and walked in the opposite direction from where Spike was standing. He moved the branches again to follow her when she was out of earshot. Dawn glided over a large field with five headstones in a row. She kneeled down briefly before each one and placed a kiss to her hand, before standing up and touching the headstone. When she finished doing this and returned walking to wherever her destination was, Spike followed.
When he reached the graves, he glanced shortly at the names inscribed across them not really expecting to know any of these people. But what he saw stopped him right in his footsteps. "Xander Harris - best friend and older brother" He whispered. Looking at the next name, he read, "Rupert Giles - Father, Leader, Beloved Friend" He couldn't read it anymore. This was just too much for him all at once. He glanced at the other three names, confirming them to be Willow's, Tara's and Anya's. He closed his eyes shut and perced his lips.
He took in a deep, unneeded breath through his nose, and caught Dawn's scent on the gentle breeze that rustled through the willow trees. Dawn, he thought as if waking up from a dream. He jogged a little ways to catch up, but couldn't find her. He searched for her scent again, and followed it.
Spike stood dumbfounded at the large metal door of his old inhabited crypt. It was open about two feet, so he easily slipped in after Dawn. Why in bleeding hell would she go to a place like this? As soon as he asked it, the question was answered. A match was struck and it lit a candle, illuminating the room. "Cor'.bloody hell" Spike growled under his breath, not really meaning to. The once bare crypt that he had lived in was obviously inhabited by someone. There was an old blanket on the couch that he had left, and various food wrappers, all of it looking old and thrown out. On the floor in the corner was a small pile of weapons, stakes mainly, and a hammer that he most definatly recognized. Yes, someone was living here, and he had a damn good idea as to whom.
"Who's there?" He heard a small voice come from where the candle was lit. If he was going to reveal himself, now was as good a time as ever. He stepped out of the shadows, letting the ring of candlelight cradle his face. Dawn gasped, but did not back away from him as he had expected. He could tell things were not right in her brain the second his eyes made contact with hers for the first time. She was drained of everything, all the life she had once had. Gone.
"Spike?" She covered her mouth with her hand is if punishing herself for thinking such a thing could happen. "No, no.don't waste your time on me, you're already a voice inside my head.you're already a voice inside my head. I miss you miss you" she cried at him.
Spike bit his own lip now, tears once again running down his face. "It's me, love. Nibblet, come here, it's me. Don't you see me? I'm back baby, I'm going to help you, come here 'Bit"
Dawn just stood there shaking her head slowly. "No, you left. You're gone, you're a voice inside my head", she said taking a few tentative steps towards him. At this invitation of closer proximities, Spike took a few strides so that he was directly in front of her. "Look at me, Dawn". She looked at him with big watery blue eyes. "I know I left, and there's nothing I could ever do to make up for it. I thought I was in the right by letting you get along with your life without me dragging you down. I know I was wrong, I'm here to stay if you'll have me". He cupped her cheeks and stared into her eyes somberly, tears still streaming from his own. She seemed to have slipped into a sort of trance. "Dawn?" He questioned, concern drenching his voice.
Dawn traced a finger down his cheeks, following the trail of tears that he shed. Shed for her and her pain. For her. He could hear her humming the tune of the song she sang earlier on Buffy's grave. She looked up at him, running her hands all over his face and chest, memorizing every part of him. Making sure he was real. She whispered all the while,
"Hello there, the angel from my nightmare The shadow in the background of the morgue The unsuspecting victim in the darkness of the valley We can live like Jack and Sally if we want"
At this point, Spike melted against her, bringing his arms around her waist and tucking her head under his own. His tears fell into her hair without restraint.
"Where you can always find me"
Dawn's voice broke, at the remembrance of Spike leaving her. Never, never could she be alone again. She couldn't live without him another day.
"We'll have Halloween on Christmas"
Spike gave a watery smile at this, for he remembered the Christmas Eve when fourteen year old Dawn had put on every accumulative Halloween costume she'd collected throughout the years, just to get a rise out of her mother and sister and break the formality of Christmas Dinner. How he loved his girl.
"And in this night we'll wish this never ends"
He held her closer to him. Never, he thought to himself.
"We'll wish this never ends"
She finished her song and rested her weight on him, feeling safe and comforted for the first time since he left. He kissed the top of her head, and then pulled away slightly to look at her face, but still holding her to him. "Let's rest Nibblet, we have a lot of catching up to do you and I."
He looked at her in confusion as her eyes clouded over with fear. "No, don't leave me, you can't leave me. . . Don't become a voice again, you're real, don't be not real anymore." She struggled against him, but he shushed her, and kissed both her teary eyelids. "Love, I promise I will never, ever leave you again." After a long while of looking into each other's eyes, Dawn leaned into his embrace again, allowing him to pick her up. He carried her over to the couch and lay her down gently on the beaten cushions, covering her with the thin blanket. She just let him baby her like she was 14 again, and dug deep into the back of the couch, pulling Spike's arm down with her. He hesitated, looking at the beautiful young girl before him. He lay down on the couch facing her, pushing her hair behind her ears. Her eyes fluttered closed, and they lay there in peaceful silence, her with her eyes shut, and him watching her breathe. After a few moments of quiet, Dawn whispered, "Spike?"
"Yes, Love?" He cooed at her, lovingly rubbing her arm.
"Just making sure you're still there" She smiled when he kissed her cheek. He leaned back and said, "I'll always be here for my Nibblet".
"Spike?" She said again, burying her face in his chest
"Yes, Love?" He asked, tucking her head under his chin and stroking her hair.
"I miss you"
- - -
A/N: if you think I should write more chapters to this tell me, please review!
A/N: Here's a short song fiction between Dawn and Spike. Buffy never comes back to life after she jumps from the tower, and after taking care of Dawn for a while, Spike leaves for what he though was the best. It's to Blink182's "I Miss You". Please read and review! - brianna -----------
He stopped in midstep as he heard quiet tears fall. Had he not had extra sensitive ears, he knew he would have never caught the sounds of water droplets hitting stone and the small shudders of breath.
"Bloody hell," he thought to himself, "What stupid bint would be in the heart of a graveyard in the middle of the ruddy night?!" Spike sighed heavily, and looked through the branches blocking his view of whoever was crying. When the curtain of leaves no longer blocked his vision, spike saw a young girl laying in fetal position on Buffy's grave. Anger flooded through every inch of his cold skin. How dare someone lay anywhere near Buffy's grave? Damn well near blasphemy, it was to him. Spike could feel a low growl begin to form in the back of his throat, but it caught suddenly choking him as the girl's head shot up.
Spike reeled backwards from the blow of recognition. Dawn, Nibblet. He studied her, shock at not knowing whom she was coursing through him. Dawn's hair was just as long as it was a year ago, but had lost its original gleam that was so characteristically Dawn Summers. Her eyes were hallow and dead as they darted around the small clearing encircling Buffy's grave. Her pale face held no pigment besides the purple circles inset under both of her eyes.
She was so different, this couldn't be his Dawn. This was not the Dawn he remembered, and will forever hold near to him. He knew that he faced the risks of her reaction when he came back to Sunnydale for her. He expected her to be angry for leaving her. He expected to be called a 'hideous creature' and a worthless thing' just as the person who's grave she lay on had so many times.
But Spike never would have expected this. His Dawn was a strong girl. This Dawn was haunted, empty. He knew that she was not just crying over some petty problem. He could smell it on her. The need and yearning for death. Spike never expected to be so frightened of the one person he cared about most. His unbeating heart sank to the depths of his belly when he heard what she sobbed into the darkness, bravado of fearlessness in her manner.
"Please, . . . whoever or whatever you are, just kill me here, just kill me here.please, I don't care anymore, please come out and take this, take this away from me, please, please." Dawn rested her upper body and head on the grass by her sister's headstone once more, her hair in a dead halo around her shoulders.
Poor Bit, Spike thought to himself. Missing older sis so much, look how much it haunts her soul, how could I leave her like this? I thought I was being strong for her, I'm such a bloody git, look at her; how I wish I could hold her. Look how much she misses her family, lying on Buffy's grave and next to her mother's as if it's the last thing she had. She wants death, I can't feel it, I can taste her need for an end.
"Don't waste your time on me, you're already a voice inside my head." Spike looked up from his boots at the figure whimpering into the grass. "I miss you, miss you. . .miss you. . .miss you" He watched her repeat this many times, no emotion showing on his face. He didn't know what to do, he didn't know if there was anything he could do for this haunted shadow of a girl he loved. He couldn't take away the pain of her sister's death; he couldn't help her out of grief for the death of B-
"Spike!" Dawn sobbed, her thin shoulders shaking. Spike's head jerked up and he stared at her. Had she just said his name? Did she know he was there?
"Spike.oh, Spike it hurts," she wailed louder. He almost ran to her until he heard her speak again. "Why did you leave me? I miss you, I miss you, I miss you. . . miss you miss you."
Spike recoiled for the second time that evening. It wasn't Buffy that she was crying over, it was his bloody worthlessness. Tears ran down from his eyes and raced down his high cheekbones. He clutched a shaking hand to where his heart would have beat if he were human. If he weren't a soulless bastard who hurt little girls.
"Spike, ". . . she whispered to the wind as it encircled her, making her hold her knees to her chest for warmth. He watched her, frozen as she opened her lips and hummed to herself, rocking back and forth on the gravesite. After a while of this, she sat up and wiped her red eyes on her sleeve. She scooted back so that her back was flat against Buffy's headstone, and covered her head in her sweatshirt hood. Hugging her arms over her head, he could see the tears fall again silently as she whispered in the tune of her earlier humming.
"Where are you? And I'm so sorry. I cannot sleep, I cannot dream tonight I need somebody and always Comes creeping on so haunting every time And as I stared I counted webs from all the spiders Catching things and eating their insides Like indecion to find you And hear your voice of treason Will you come home and stop this pain tonight? Stop this pain tonight"
At the end of her lullaby, Dawn got up and leaned against the headstone. For the first time in over a year, Spike got a good look at what his Nibblet had become. Sickeningly pale and thin. Her clothing was torn and hung loosely from her once healthy body. Dirt covered her entirety, and scrapes and bruises dotted all over her lithe figure.
"Don't waste your time on me, you're already the voice inside my head. . . I miss you, miss you." She whispered again, and pulled her bottom lip into her mouth. Love for this girl poured from Spike when he saw her do this. This was his Dawn. Dawn always had done that when she was upset or frightened, but had only done it for him. No one else was allowed to see her weak, to take care of her. Take care of her like only he could, until he left her, that is.
Dawn turned and walked in the opposite direction from where Spike was standing. He moved the branches again to follow her when she was out of earshot. Dawn glided over a large field with five headstones in a row. She kneeled down briefly before each one and placed a kiss to her hand, before standing up and touching the headstone. When she finished doing this and returned walking to wherever her destination was, Spike followed.
When he reached the graves, he glanced shortly at the names inscribed across them not really expecting to know any of these people. But what he saw stopped him right in his footsteps. "Xander Harris - best friend and older brother" He whispered. Looking at the next name, he read, "Rupert Giles - Father, Leader, Beloved Friend" He couldn't read it anymore. This was just too much for him all at once. He glanced at the other three names, confirming them to be Willow's, Tara's and Anya's. He closed his eyes shut and perced his lips.
He took in a deep, unneeded breath through his nose, and caught Dawn's scent on the gentle breeze that rustled through the willow trees. Dawn, he thought as if waking up from a dream. He jogged a little ways to catch up, but couldn't find her. He searched for her scent again, and followed it.
Spike stood dumbfounded at the large metal door of his old inhabited crypt. It was open about two feet, so he easily slipped in after Dawn. Why in bleeding hell would she go to a place like this? As soon as he asked it, the question was answered. A match was struck and it lit a candle, illuminating the room. "Cor'.bloody hell" Spike growled under his breath, not really meaning to. The once bare crypt that he had lived in was obviously inhabited by someone. There was an old blanket on the couch that he had left, and various food wrappers, all of it looking old and thrown out. On the floor in the corner was a small pile of weapons, stakes mainly, and a hammer that he most definatly recognized. Yes, someone was living here, and he had a damn good idea as to whom.
"Who's there?" He heard a small voice come from where the candle was lit. If he was going to reveal himself, now was as good a time as ever. He stepped out of the shadows, letting the ring of candlelight cradle his face. Dawn gasped, but did not back away from him as he had expected. He could tell things were not right in her brain the second his eyes made contact with hers for the first time. She was drained of everything, all the life she had once had. Gone.
"Spike?" She covered her mouth with her hand is if punishing herself for thinking such a thing could happen. "No, no.don't waste your time on me, you're already a voice inside my head.you're already a voice inside my head. I miss you miss you" she cried at him.
Spike bit his own lip now, tears once again running down his face. "It's me, love. Nibblet, come here, it's me. Don't you see me? I'm back baby, I'm going to help you, come here 'Bit"
Dawn just stood there shaking her head slowly. "No, you left. You're gone, you're a voice inside my head", she said taking a few tentative steps towards him. At this invitation of closer proximities, Spike took a few strides so that he was directly in front of her. "Look at me, Dawn". She looked at him with big watery blue eyes. "I know I left, and there's nothing I could ever do to make up for it. I thought I was in the right by letting you get along with your life without me dragging you down. I know I was wrong, I'm here to stay if you'll have me". He cupped her cheeks and stared into her eyes somberly, tears still streaming from his own. She seemed to have slipped into a sort of trance. "Dawn?" He questioned, concern drenching his voice.
Dawn traced a finger down his cheeks, following the trail of tears that he shed. Shed for her and her pain. For her. He could hear her humming the tune of the song she sang earlier on Buffy's grave. She looked up at him, running her hands all over his face and chest, memorizing every part of him. Making sure he was real. She whispered all the while,
"Hello there, the angel from my nightmare The shadow in the background of the morgue The unsuspecting victim in the darkness of the valley We can live like Jack and Sally if we want"
At this point, Spike melted against her, bringing his arms around her waist and tucking her head under his own. His tears fell into her hair without restraint.
"Where you can always find me"
Dawn's voice broke, at the remembrance of Spike leaving her. Never, never could she be alone again. She couldn't live without him another day.
"We'll have Halloween on Christmas"
Spike gave a watery smile at this, for he remembered the Christmas Eve when fourteen year old Dawn had put on every accumulative Halloween costume she'd collected throughout the years, just to get a rise out of her mother and sister and break the formality of Christmas Dinner. How he loved his girl.
"And in this night we'll wish this never ends"
He held her closer to him. Never, he thought to himself.
"We'll wish this never ends"
She finished her song and rested her weight on him, feeling safe and comforted for the first time since he left. He kissed the top of her head, and then pulled away slightly to look at her face, but still holding her to him. "Let's rest Nibblet, we have a lot of catching up to do you and I."
He looked at her in confusion as her eyes clouded over with fear. "No, don't leave me, you can't leave me. . . Don't become a voice again, you're real, don't be not real anymore." She struggled against him, but he shushed her, and kissed both her teary eyelids. "Love, I promise I will never, ever leave you again." After a long while of looking into each other's eyes, Dawn leaned into his embrace again, allowing him to pick her up. He carried her over to the couch and lay her down gently on the beaten cushions, covering her with the thin blanket. She just let him baby her like she was 14 again, and dug deep into the back of the couch, pulling Spike's arm down with her. He hesitated, looking at the beautiful young girl before him. He lay down on the couch facing her, pushing her hair behind her ears. Her eyes fluttered closed, and they lay there in peaceful silence, her with her eyes shut, and him watching her breathe. After a few moments of quiet, Dawn whispered, "Spike?"
"Yes, Love?" He cooed at her, lovingly rubbing her arm.
"Just making sure you're still there" She smiled when he kissed her cheek. He leaned back and said, "I'll always be here for my Nibblet".
"Spike?" She said again, burying her face in his chest
"Yes, Love?" He asked, tucking her head under his chin and stroking her hair.
"I miss you"
- - -
A/N: if you think I should write more chapters to this tell me, please review!