Some background: So, as of right now I am working on a dramatic commenting of a really bad fanfiction called Moondaughter, and my buddy Knightwing20042 thought it was pretty good, and asked me if I could do the same thing to an old Percy Jackson/Young Justice crossover he had written called The Champion of Hope. Going into this side-project to my side-project, I thought I wasn't going to find enough wrong with any story that wasn't a genuine troll-fic. Boy, was I wrong!

Okay dude, you asked for it. I will show no mercy or regard for suspension of disbelief. Since I like to put my comments in bold so that people can see them better, I'll be turning your bolds to italics. I hope you don't mind.

At the Throne Room of the Gods after the war with Gaea

The Gods were all happy that the crisis had been averted. Except for Dionysus, who was secretly hoping the world would end and take his hangover with it. The demigods were overjoyed ofthe victory but mourning the death of their own. All those poor, unnamed campers who perished in the wars between the camps and with Gae- oh wait, right, only canon characters get mourned! Percy Jackson was in a depressed state due to the death of Annabeth Chase while the rest of the seven minus Leo comforted him. So, the Four. Also where are Grover and Rachel and all of Percy's other friends? Were the Four really the only ones to feel bad about Annabeth's death? Camp Half-Blood is full of jerks!

Leo went to Ogygia to free Calypso and would soon return. So we thought. They actually went on a world tour for several months and came back with shirts that said "I went to Timbuktu and all I got was this stupid T-shirt!" (No seriously, I think that's canon. The world tour, not the T-shirt) After a few hours, Leo had returned with Calypso and the god decided to give the heroes gifts for their sacrifice.

Percy's POV

I was in a lot of pain for what happened to Annabeth. I'm expressing my pain through beige prose. I would never forget the moment when Gaea glared at me and spoke in my head, "Jackson I may have lost but I won't forget how much damage you caused my plans. You will lose the people you care most about." When she said that, I heard Annabeth cry out in pain. It turned out she had just stubbed her toe. "That's not all, Perseus; I had several monsters dispatched at your mom and step-dad's house. Because it's not like they're under protection from the god Poseidon or like I'm, you know the Earth itself and could just swallow them all whole. I hear you have a little sister named Estelle, it's a shame you never met her and never will." *chokes back sobs without a hint of sarcasm* No seriously, this really made me sad.

Then, Leo and Festus destroyed Gaea in an explosion with the help of Octavian who didn't expect to have his toga tangle Ha! Alliteration! with the onager's ammo. When Leo and Festus dropped to the ground, Festus administered the physician's cure on him.

I rushed to Annabeth's side and tried to comfort her while Will Solace and Apollo who was suddenly there for no reason healed her. Suddenly she told me, "Percy, I know I'm dying from my very vague and unspecified wound obtained in a vague and unspecified manner, and I asked as my final wish that you move on instead of moping over my death." Either there should be a paragraph break for the different speak here, or this is all supposed to be read really fast in a single breath I said, "Don't say that, Wise Girl, I love you and I don't want you to die." As I said that, I couldn't feel her pulse anymore but she was still breathing and conscious, so it was a false alarm. Apollo said "I'm sorry cousin, I wasn't able to save her in time." "Thanks for trying Apollo and it's not your fault don't apologize." Yup, an impulsive, emotional guy like Percy is sure to respond calmly and rationally and not display any grief through, I don't know, crying or screaming or whatever at all after his girlfriend LITERALLY DIED IN HIS ARMS.

After Leo's return everyone who fought for Olympus gathers at the throne room of the gods for rewards. This is italicized and in present text because there's no way this could be part of Percy's dialogue. That would just be silly.

Percy's POV

When everyone gathered at the throne room Zeus announced," I congratulate everyone on their victory against Gaea and wish to reward the heroes who fought in the war. I will first begin by giving Hestia and Hades thrones on the council. We will remove the Ancient Laws restrictions that the gods cannot visit their children. Wait, you could just get rid of those? Why didn't you do it before? We will make it so that the gods are allowed to visit their children as long as they perform their duties properly. We will now grant wishes to the heroes.

"My son Jason Grace, will you become the minor god of lightning while being unrestricted by the Ancient Laws if you accept." Jason replied," I accept father." The rest of the seven and Calypso were granted godhood. Despite the fact that only Jason was asked for his opinion. What if they didn't want godhood?

My dad called my name,"Percy Jackson" and I came forward. My father continued speaking," Does anyone believe my son does not deserve godhood?"

Everybody said I deserved it but when I looked at Athena she surprisingly agreed but she looked so hurt and in pain.

I said," Lord Zeus and father, I do not wish to be a god as the girl I loved with all my heart and my parents were killed. I wish to live life as a mortal and see them in my afterlife."

My father looked disappointed but Athena looked a little jealous when I said I would see my Wise Girl in the afterlife.She's a goddess. She can just pop down to the underworld. Or, she can ask Uncle Hades for a favor and bring her back to life!

Lord Zeus then thundered," I understand that you are in a lot of #1pain, Perseus and I do not wish to see someone who sacrificed so much for us in so much #2pain. I have an idea to help you heal from the #3pain you have been through. Will you accept it.?" Oh the redundant, redundant pain!

I responded by saying," Lord Zeus I will accept as long as I will be helping people in some way." Lord Zeus then said," I will send you to an alternate world in the multiverse where my alternate self's daughter works among a group called the Justice League. In that world, many people have superpowers and misuse them. The Justice League fights crime in all forms. Will you go there?" Hey kid, I know you're in grief and stuff. So we're going to send you to another dimension even farther away from your loved ones and make you fight super-villains. That's how mortals cope, right?

"Lord Zeus, I would be honored to go there. But will I be able to return here to visit my friends?" Zeus said," I will allow everyone who wishes to see you go there but I can't let you come here to this universe due to the fact that you lost a lot and wouldn't want reminders." *Face palm* Dumbest reason for keeping a character in another universe I ever heard. Percy has things in his life other than Annabeth and his parents! Taking them away from him and trapping him in another universe will not help the grieving process!

I said," I will go to this multiverse Lord Zeus." Zeus then said,"There is one little thing nephew, as a token of our appreciation, some of the olympians would like to bless you with powers that they have." "Lord Zeus, I accept your blessing."

With that, I got the following powers from each god and goddess:

Poseidon- Ability to manipulate water in all forms, cause earthquakes

Hestia- Healing, summoning food, pyrokinesis "Pyrokinesis"? Um, Hestia? You know his other powers are related to, oh I don't know, WATER right?

Athena- Removal of Dyslexia

Artemis- Enhanced senses

Apollo- Healing

Hey guys, while we're at it let's give him laser eyes and mind control and the ability to manipulate all forms of matter. I'm sure our gift giving isn't making him sound OP or anything!

I thanked all the gods for their gifts and the council was dismissed. Lady Athena came up to me and said," Perseus I am so sorry I was so dismissive of you in the past. When I found out you jumped into Tartarus for my daughter, I decided that I would give you permission to marry my daughter when you came to ask me in the future."

"There is no need to apologize to me Lady Athena, I understand why you would be so dismissive of me because I have so many siblings like Orion, Antaeus, Sciron, and Procrustes who were so cruel. And I am glad that you approved of me so much that you would have allowed me to marry Annabeth when I came to ask you your permission." And once again, Percy demonstrates the well-spoken, rational conversations one can have while in mourning. Are we sure this Percy isn't a robot?

Athena said," Thank you Perseus for understanding, I only ask that you honor my daughter my following her final wish and move on and find someone you love." Cue "Somebody to Love"

I responded," Lady Athena I do not know if I can move on but I can guarantee that I will at least try to move on. Again, exactly what a kid in the five stages of grief would say. It almost feels like Percy doesn't actually care. She replied," That is all I ask."

Lord Zeus then arrived and told me," There will be one little thing about you we will change, after that, you will be ready to go to the other earth." I asked," What will you change about me?" Lord Zeus replied," We will change your age to be 15 years old. Because?... There is one more thing, we blessed you to already have full control of your powers as we understand how essential it can be."

After the transformation was completed, I said goodbye to my friends and I stepped into the portal. When I stepped out a beautiful woman with raven-colored hair, and electric blue eyes who was wearing basically a one piece swimsuit, but no need to describe that! was expectantly looking at me like she wanted to know who I was.

I said," Hi. I'm Percy Jackson and I'm a son of Poseidon from an alternate earth and you must be Diana, Princess of the Amazons and daughter of Zeus."

She replied," I've heard a lot about you Percy, and I'm impressed. My… father I guess, told me about your wish and why you're here. I'm going to be your legal guardian in this world. I go by the name of Diana Prince when I am in civilian form and my superhero identity is Wonder Woman. I'll give you a little background info about this earth."

A few hours later…

I was shocked when she started about the Justice League and told me how they were formed. I was even more shocked when I found out that Batman's sidekick got food poisoning because of a guy who called himself Condiment King. The most shocking thing is that this apparently was important enough to tell Percy when giving a run-down of the entire universe. She also told me about 6 members of the league being controlled for 16 hours about 2 years ago. ( Percy is about the same age as Dick Grayson due to the change in age. This takes place 2 years after the end of Young Justice season 1 and 3 years before the start of Young Justice season 2. This is also about 4 months after Batman adopted Jason Todd and Dick is having his Robin identity crisis.).

She then said," I have to call a league meeting and tell them about you. Depending on what they say, I'll either have you be my protege/partner or a part of the team the Justice League has. The team calls themselves the Young Justice."

At the Watchtower…

I arrived at the HQ called the Watchtower and Diana went to a huge monitor and clicked a button. I didn't comment on the fact we were in space, which should be really interesting, because I seem to keep forgetting little details like that. We waited for about half an hour until everyone arrived. Batman was last to arrive. When he arrived, the Zeta tubes announced his arrival. I felt him trying to sneak up on me and when he was right behind me, I grabbed him and put him in a choke hold. Bull***t. BULL***T!Everybody was staring at me in shock. I got him out of the choke hold and he was staring me down which was kind of funny because I was 6'1 and he was 6'2 or 6'3. BATMAN DOESN'T STARE PEOPLE DOWN WHEN THEY CHOKEHOLD HIM! BATMAN KICKS THE CRAP OUT OF THEM! He called everyone to sit down and tell them everything about myself. So, I started at when I was twelve and told them everything to the point up to coming to the watchtower. Jesus, everything? How much time did you have?! Batman had Diana use her Lasso of Truth on me to make sure everything was true.

Then everybody started questioning me, the Flash asked me," Why did Zeus turn you into a 15-year-old ?" I responded," I'm not entirely sure why he did that. And neither is the audience Hopefully it isn't another prophecy." What would an age decrease have to do with a prophecy?

Batman said," Since you don't need any training on your combat skills and powers, I'll introduce you to the team. I'll have your suit made for you soon and we will discuss your living arrangements and legal documents later. What will you have as your superhero identity?"

"My name will be Riptide."

So, yeah. That was... bad. Not awful but still bad. There's tons of telling instead of showing and important details left out, not to mention the sheer blasphemy that is Percy BEATING BATMAN ON THE FIRST TRY! But it could be far, far worse. If you have any questions or are really, really offended by anything I said, feel free to complain in a scathing review.