Regression
Lee Holloway was in the kitchen, making breakfast, one day.
"Edward?" said Lee tentatively.
"Yes, Lee?" said Edward.
"Well, I was thinking." said Lee. "When we…have sex, sometimes I'd like to be the one in control. What…what do you think about that?"
Edward looked up from the newspaper he was reading. "I have to be in control." he said. "You know that."
"Oh." said Lee in a small voice. "But I just thought, you know, for a change, I might like to be in control."
"No, Lee." said Edward.
"But-
"The idea is ridiculous, Lee. Now let's drop the subject. I have to go to work now." said Edward.
After Edward left for work, Lee, feeling very hurt by his abrupt rejection of her suggestion, began to cry. She was just about to sit down at the kitchen table when she spotted a large, sharp knife sitting on the counter. She got up, walked over to the counter, and picked up the knife. She looked at it awhile, and was mesmerized by the way the blade glinted in the morning sunlight that was coming in through the window. She stroked the blade of it with her finger. No! she thought in alarm. What am I doing?
But the longer she held the knife in her hand and watched its glint in the sunlight, the more she wanted to feel the old, twisted comfort of the knife cutting into her skin. Well, she reasoned. It's not such a bad thing to do. I could say it was an accident, like before.
And the more she reasoned it out in her mind, the more she wanted to cut herself. She rolled up her sleeve and placed the knife against her arm. She was doing this just as Edward came in the door.
"Lee, I forgot my briefcase, and-
He saw her holding the knife against her arm. "Lee!" Edward rushed over to the kitchen counter and grabbed the knife away.
Lee swallowed hard. She began to tremble.
"Lee." said Edward. "What were you doing with that knife?"
"I don't know." Lee said in a small voice.
"Were you going to cut yourself with it, Lee?" said Edward.
"N-no." Lee said.
"What?" said Edward.
"No!" said Lee in a louder voice.
"Well, it looked to me like you were. Are you lying to me, Lee?"
"No." Lee said, looking down at the ground.
"What exactly were you planning to do with that knife then, Lee?"
"I-
"You were planning to cut yourself with it, weren't you, Lee?"
"I was just…I was only thinking about it." said Lee.
"Lee," said Edward. "Don't you ever, ever, even think about cutting yourself again."
"I wasn't-
"You don't want to do that anymore, Lee. That isn't you. You're a bright, gifted beautiful woman, Lee, and you don't need to do that again." said Edward.
"I am?" said Lee.
"Yes." said Edward. "Don't ever let me see you doing that again. Do you understand?"
"Yes, sir." said Lee.
"And stop calling me 'sir'. It's Edward."
"Yes, sir-I mean, Edward." Lee said.
"You'll be very sorry if I ever catch you trying to cut yourself again, Lee." said Edward.
Lee looked down at the ground and twisted a lock of hair around her finger. She felt very ashamed, and she began to cry a little.
"And stop that crying. You're a grown woman, not a baby, Lee." said Edward.
Lee sniffled a little, but finally she was able to stop crying. She saw the fierce look in his eyes, but she was not at all afraid, because she knew that he loved her, and didn't want her to hurt herself. And there was only one thing that Lee could think of to say.
"I love you." she said softly. She leaned her head against his shoulder.
There was a silence. "I love you, Lee." Edward said, quietly and stiffly. But Lee knew that it was true.
There was a silence as they stood at the kitchen counter.
"Lee." Edward said finally.
"Yes, Edward." said Lee.
"Do you really want to be in control? Sometimes?"
Lee thought about it for a minute. Then she smiled, her mouth curving prettily.
"I don't think I'm ready to do that yet." said Lee.
And Lee knew that everything would always be all right when Edward was in control.