Disclaimer: Not mine, never will be. Do you think I'd still be a poor student if they were?

Notes: I started this ages ago, before the last episodes of the season. I've posted it since elsewhere and people seemed to like it so far, so I thought I may as well share here as well. Not finished at the moment but I will get round to it, promise! Enjoy.

Working Past The Inevitable

Chapter 1: In A Simple Heartbeat

Suppressing a yawn with one hand, I wearily reached out and pushed open the door with the other. Walking through, I noted with some relief that the lounge was empty. I was exhausted and was glad to be spared having to attempt small talk with anyone. Another day was finally over and my thoughts had already turned to running a long, hot bath as soon as I got home. Mmmm…. camomile or jasmine, I pondered, both sounding equally appealing choices of bubble bath. Removing my stethoscope as I approached my locker, I yanked it open and tossed it in. Taking a moment, I let the tiredness wash over me and rested my forehead against the open locker door, closing my eyes for a few blissful seconds.

Unfortunately the silence was shattered all too soon with the swinging open of the door, letting the incessant noise of the ER filter through. Reluctantly, I opened my eyes and twisted my head round to see who had interrupted my all too brief moment of sanctuary. I was met with Abby's trademark smirk as she reached for the coffee pot.

"Off so soon?" She inquired, rolling her eyes melodramatically.

"Please, don't start," I groaned back, "I was led to believe that the end of my residency also meant the end of such crazy hours." Reaching in, I snagged my coat before slamming the door shut and leaned against it, now facing her. She chuckled slightly, took a sip from her mug and wrinkled her nose at the taste before continuing.

"How long have you been an attending now?"

"Near enough five years, why?"

"And this is just you realising you've been duped now? It's the ever-present dangling carrot, Susan. Just wait until you make chief, I hear that by then it will be a breeze." She grinned before taking another sip.

I mock groaned at that, "Yeah right, and Kerry's the perfect advocate for that!" I retorted with a laugh.

She joined in momentarily before sobering up, "Been one hell of a shift, huh?"

"Tell me about it. I could swear there was a production line somewhere and they were getting shipped through the doors on a conveyer belt. That and I've had this really strange feeling nagging at me the past couple of hours."

"What kind of feeling?"

"I don't know. I can't place it really, just something doesn't feel right." I shrugged dismissively and put on my coat. "It doesn't matter, sounds stupid saying it out loud, probably just sleep deprivation or something. How much longer before you're done?" I asked as I slung my bag over my shoulder.

"One hour and counting," she replied with a sigh.

"Well it's quiet now, hopefully it will stay that way."

"Hopefully," she echoed with a tired smile.

"Well that's me, I'm done and outta here!" I said resolutely as I willed my feet to move in the direction of the door. "I have a date with a bubble bath," I tossed over my shoulder with a grin. Just as I was reaching for the door she called out after me.

"Hey! Still on for grabbing a bite tomorrow night?"

I mentally smacked my forehead, annoyed that I'd forgotten and turned back, one hand still on the door. But then, she sounded as if she had just remembered about our plans too. I swear amnesia is a side effect of working in this place.

"Definitely," I nodded with the most enthusiasm my weary body could muster. "What about catching a movie too if there is anything decent on? We're both off at 7 right?"

She nodded affirmatively, "Yeah, a movie would be fun. Anyway go! You don't want to keep that date waiting." She waggled her eyebrows suggestively and dumped the rest of her coffee into the sink before joining me at the door. "And I have sick people waiting, g'night."

We both exited the lounge and she headed towards the drug lock up with a wave. I waved back and watched her retreating form for a second, glad that maybe at least one good thing had come out of that stupid seminar. I think we were both surprised to discover that we had more in common than we thought. Since then, we had both been making the effort to establish a friendship. We were still at the tentative stage, but it was made easier now that Carter was no longer between us. Whether they would ever get together, I didn't know. I honestly didn't have a problem with it and was certainly not going to stand in their way, but as I got to know Abby better, I had come to realise that the same could not be said about Luka. He was not so out of the picture as I had originally thought. It was certainly a tangled web and I was just glad that I was no longer a part of it. I suspected that Abby didn't really know what, or who, she wanted, but I did know that she needed a friend – an impartial friend, and I was willing to find out if that could be me.

I shook my head sadly at the situation, hoping that whatever the outcome, Carter didn't get too hurt. But right then, I didn't have the energy to think about it anymore, my only thought was to get myself home. Thinking about friendship make me think about Mark. I made a mental note to give them a quick call in Hawaii to check on how he was doing before going to bed, as I headed towards the door.

"Dr. Lewis, phone for you!" Randi's voice caught up with me as I was about to leave. I sighed and refused to stop.

"I'm off Randi, get someone else to take it."

"Dr Lewis… Susan!" She hollered, more forceful this time, causing me to reluctantly stop and turn round.

"What? I asked accusingly. I couldn't see why someone else who was actually still working couldn't get it. She took a deep breath before answering and now that I took a good look at her, she seemed upset.

"It's Dr. Corday. She wants to talk to you or Dr. Weaver." She answered, her voice barely audible over the noise around us.

And there it was. In a simple heartbeat, my world was altered forever.

That same feeling I had felt earlier came back and crashed over me in a wave, threatening to overwhelm. I couldn't move - could barely breathe as I processed what she had said. She stared back at me, the phone clutched to her chest, neither one of us willing or able to voice our fears. Gradually I broke out of the paralytic state I was gripped in and make my way back towards the desk. In my heart I already knew what I was about to hear. In my heart I already felt that a part of me had died. Swallowing past the lump in my throat, I gripped the desk and forced myself to be strong. For Elizabeth's sake as much as my own, I had to pick up that damn phone and hear the inevitable. With a deep breath I took it off her and answered, my voice a monotone.

"It's Susan… I… yes… no, I thought so… I'll let them know… right, I'll call you tomorrow morning… yes, that's the number I have… ok, and Elizabeth? …Take care of yourself, of all three of you… yes, goodnight." I replaced the receiver and closed my eyes briefly, swallowing back the horrible taste of bile in my mouth. I opened them again to be met with Randi's questioning gaze. She knew already, could see it in my face, but she still looked at me for confirmation, hoping she was wrong. I sadly nodded, a single tear escaping and rolling down my cheek.

"This afternoon. Would you… could you let everyone…" I trailed off, unable to finish, but she understood and nodded slowly. "I'm really sorry, but I can't… stay here. I need to go." By this time more tears were threatening to escape and I backed away from the desk, needing fresh air. Abby approached from behind Randi and stopped when she saw me, concerned.

"Susan? What's wrong?"

I shook my head, continuing to back away and looked into the two sets of eyes on me: one showing confusion, the other echoing the sorrow of my own.

"I have to go," I repeated, by now at the doors and narrowly missed and incoming gurney. Turning round I stumbled into the ambulance bay and gasped for air, hands on my knees. After a few seconds I straightened and forced my unsteady legs to carry me away and into the night.