I do not own Axis Powers Hetalia.
Russia's Phone Call To America About The Debt
By waterrain
"Your debt is a parasite. You shift responsibility onto other countries and not living within your means, America. You should feel ashamed of yourself, da." Russia commented calmly on his cell phone.
"Parasites are important. What would one do without parasites in the world?" America stated causally and he rolled his eyes. "You are just jealous of me, Russia. Not to mention bitter."
"Why would I ever be jealous of you, America?" Russia asked slowly and he was frowning to himself.
"Because I can hold the world's attention and keep it firmly in my heroic grip." America said to him. "I'm good at getting attention from everyone unlike you, Russia."
"You gain more negative attention than positive attention, America." Russia told him and the violet eyed Nation had a feeling that America doesn't care on what kind of attention he gained from other Nation's.
"Attention is attention. Doesn't matter if it's good or bad, Russia." America informed him honestly and he really meant it. "I'm not ever forgotten unlike some other Nation's."
"You do not care as long as you receive attention."
"Correct, Russia."
"That is a bit sad, da." Russia said to him and he shook his head. "It is sad that you don't care on what kind of attention you recieve from others. Why do you not care?"
'Changing the topic starting...Now...' America briefly thought and he had a sip of his cola.
"I'm happy that the debt was not defaulted and stuff. Although I was a bit morbidly curious on what would have happed if the House & Senate people all decided to vote against the compromise. Would anything really happen to the other Nation's if the debt had been defaulted." America commented calmly and he tilted his head to the side. "To be honest I was really annoyed with them being all last minute."
"Why do you think they were last minute on agreeing on the debt issue?" Russia asked him and he gulped down some of his vodka.
"Because they are old and stubborn. Anyway, want to know what really motivated them to pass the debt plan?" America asked causally and he hummed for a moment.
"What did you do?" Russia decided to ask him and had some more vodka for when it comes to America one has to drink a bit while chatting with the blue eyed Nation.
"I promised them if they the debt plan doesn't pass…That I would wear girlish clothing and do a sexy as hell strip tease…It was not a threat, but a promise." America commented cheerfully and he smirked widely to himself. "I think it worked because a lot of them voted for the plan to pass."
Russia was silent for a moment, violet eyes wide in surprise, and he blinked his eyes for thirty seconds.
"Girlish clothing? Strip tease? Why would you say that? Why didn't you say that you would do something nice if it was passed instead of saying you would do something bad if it didn't pass?" Russia asked in a confused voice and his head was tilted to the side. "I do not understand."
"Thankfully, Most of them were against the mere thought of their Nation cross-dressing and giving them a sexy as all heck strip tease. It would have been awkward as heck since I'm like their parent. I'm their sweet as honey and sugar Nation." America replied calmly and he had wrinkled his nose at the thought of doing a strip tease to the people in The House & Senate.
"I overheard some of them commenting that you are like a rebellious and hyper active teenager, America."
"No way. They think of me as the Heroic and Epic parent." America stated firmly and he puffed out his cheeks for a moment. "You must have heard them wrong, Russia."
"They look and act older than you, America." Russia informed him and he pulled his cell phone away from his ear.
"So what? Seriously, I'm like their parent and they are my freedom loving children." America said loudly and he had a hand on his hip. "You are lying because they wouldn't call me rebellious or hyper or like a teenager. I'm mature, sexy, smart, and older than them."
"Didn't you call them old, da?" Russia asked innocently as he looked at his window.
"So? They look old, but I'm older than them by a whole lot. Looks are not everything…" America stated firmly and he rolled his blue eyes. "I bet your people think of you as their bitc-"
America's last letter was cut off by the violet eyed Nation.
"America, Are you proud of being a parasite on the global community?" Russia asked cheerfully and on his lips was an innocent smile. "You must be becoming fatter and fatter for your debt ceiling has increased in size, America. How does it feel?"
"Are you proud of having the biggest ass, Russia? Not to mention the biggest nose. Just to let you know parasites are way more heroic and epic than you, Russia. I'm not fat and Bye." America replied causally and he hit end on his cell phone.
"I hope you collapse soon, America." Russia whispered in a chilling voice to himself, he crushed his cell phone, and his bottle of vodka was all gone.
"My nose is not big. My ass is not big. I hope you fall and become one with me, da. I would teach you good manners. America is a rude brat." Russia stated firmly as he looked at his nose and bottom by looking at a full length mirror inside of his bedroom.
Meanwhile America decided to find Tony and ask his alien buddy an important question.
"Hey, Tony. Am I fat?" America asked him and he recieved a blank expression. "Do I look fat?"
"No." Tony stated simply and he looked up at the blond haired Nation. "Did the fucking limey call you fat again?"
"Big nose called me, fat." America informed him and he crossed his arms. "Russia is a bit taller than me and he is bigger than me. So he really shouldn't be calling me fat."
America and Russia are both senstive when it is about their body.
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