Title: Reassessing
Rating: T
Content: Slash, sappiness,
Disclaimer: don't own any of the characters mentioned herein, and make no implications about them in any way, I'm writing this purely for fun.
Spoilers: Set around Raws in May, but no big spoilers.
Summary: Sequel to 'Taking Chances'. As Hunter's not on the show, Randy shows up at Raw. He's got some questions for Chris.
A/N: I thought I'd better write something sensible, as I'm having far too much fun writing Suefic. I enjoyed writing this, but in a different way. I thought I'd give people what they want (and what I want, as Chris and Randy are my current OTP). Sequels to this will depend entirely on storyline developments after Vengeance.

"Hey, good to see you back."

"Good to be back, even though it is just for one night." Randy pulled Chris into a hug. He'd really missed the blond.

"How's it going?" There were many unspoken questions behind that one simple one.

"The surgery went OK. I'm bored out of my mind at home though. When you start looking forward to new episodes of Newlyweds, you know it's bad."

Chris laughed, it was good to see Randy looking so carefree and happy.

"You didn't come to visit." Randy tried to keep the tone of the words light, but Chris could sense the hurt accusation behind them.

"I'm sorry, I just haven't had a day off, what with Fozzy and everything as well."

Randy nodded, "I understand. I'd like to see one of your shows sometime."

"I'd like for you to be there." Chris bit his lip, it seemed like Randy was being deliberately evasive about the information Chris really wanted to know. "Would you like to go for a drink after the show?"

A shy smile spread across Randy's face, "that would be nice."

"Ask me Chris. I can see you're dying to." Randy smiled into his drink, he'd watched the Canadian move around in his seat, avoid his eyes, and awkwardly make small talk.

"I wasn't sure. I didn't want to pry, or ask you about something that you didn't want to talk about."

"He hasn't called me. I haven't heard anything from him, not even after the surgery. I'm relieved. When I heard he was having a few weeks off, I called up and asked if I could come back for the night. I wanted to see you. I missed being here."

"How about the counselling?"

Randy's face fell, and he bit his lower lip, "it's hard, but good. I'm confronting a lot of stuff that I'd blocked out and hidden away. Not just Hunter… other stuff as well. It can be painful."

"But it's helping?" Chris' voice was soft and caring.

"Yeah. It's made me reassess a lot of stuff."

The Canadian nodded thoughtfully. He'd been where Randy was right now, and he understood where the young man was coming from. "Hunter?"

"It's helped me to understand why I fell for him… how he got under my skin, how he controlled me, how I let him… I'm not saying that I could never go back to him, but I understand how my mind works, and how not to let him get to me. I confronted a lot of stuff from before that had left me vulnerable."

"Good."

"I talked about you a lot too." Chris looked surprised, and a little worried, "the counsellor, she thought that… when I said I had feelings for you, she was concerned that I was confusing feelings with being grateful… we explored that."

"And…" Chris couldn't allow himself to be too hopeful.

"And I don't think I'm confusing my feelings. I didn't even realise until we started spending time together, until after I left Hunter. I just started falling for you. You because of who you are, as opposed to you as my saviour."

Randy looked a little apprehensive and embarrassed, so Chris leaned over and squeezed his hand. He was rewarded with the sweetest smile he had ever seen.

"I know you helped me an awful lot Chris. I will always be grateful to you for that. I don't want Hunter to be a shadow over what we could have though."

"I don't either." Chris had refused to let himself consider what might happen with Randy, he didn't want to get his hopes up and then be disappointed, but he knew he had to be completely open about his feelings and motivations right from the beginning, otherwise they may become a burden too heavy to carry. "I won't deny it, I've had feelings for you all along, but my main concern was your well being, which I knew was at risk if you stayed with Hunter. Then, once you got away from him, I knew you were still hurting and confused, and I didn't want to add to that. I wanted you to be the one to find out how you felt, with no pressure from me."

"So…"

"It's down to you Randy. I can't help thinking it's too soon for you."

"I don't think it is. I want a relationship with you Chris, and I feel like I'm ready for that. Please, can we give it a go?"

After a short silence a massive smile crossed Chris' face, "yeah. You're the sweetest guy I've ever known Randy." The young man blushed and looked away, looking back at Chris as he felt him caress his cheek. Chris took a deep breath, "can I kiss you?"

Randy nodded, "I'd be disappointed if you didn't."

Chris lay watching Randy sleep. He'd done this before, when the young man had been disturbed by nightmares after he'd left Hunter. He'd stayed awake in case Randy needed him. He'd like to say it was just because he cared for the man, but it wasn't just that. He'd stayed awake watching because he knew that was the closest he could hope to get to the young man at that time. They'd never shared the same bed though. Chris had always watched from afar. Before, Randy's face in sleep had always held a haunted look, as if he thought Hunter could hurt him in another world as well as this one, but now he looked peaceful, and happy. The fear had gone.

Randy had been everything Chris had dreamed of and more. The older man had always seen himself as jaded, been around the block too many times, surprised by nothing. Randy though, Randy had surprised him, and all in good ways. For the first time in a while, he felt young and alive. He felt like he'd connected with Randy, and hoped that the young man felt the same. It wasn't because they shared a history with Hunter, it was something genuinely between them and them alone. More than a feeling of understanding of shared experience, a desire for a shared future, a shared hope.

The young man's eyes fluttered open and he smiled sleepily at Chris, "morning."

"Morning gorgeous," Chris grinned and kissed his lover slowly and languorously. "Sleep well?"

"Mmmm," Randy touched Chris' cheek almost in wonder, "know what? I've been imagining for weeks what it would be like to wake up in your bed."

"And does it live up to your imagination?"

"Better."

Chris nodded, secretly delighted. "Hungry?"

"Maybe." Randy grinned, "how about we work up an appetite first?"

That was an invitation Chris couldn't turn down.

"So, Raw's in your home town next week, will you be coming along?"

Randy nodded, "I don't care if Hunter is there. I feel a lot better, a lot stronger, knowing you'll be there too."

That worried Chris a little, as he hoped that Randy would be able to deal with Hunter on his own. He knew it would be painful for him to see that man who had caused him so much hurt, but it was something Randy would have to do, so that the older man wouldn't hold any power over him any more.

"I know what you're thinking." Chris looked up, surprised. "I know you're thinking that I should be able to deal with Hunter on my own, and I think maybe I can. Just knowing that you're around gives me strength though. If he did get under my skin, I would only have to think of you and I'd be 'immune' to him. It's not like I would go back to him, no matter what he said, because I have something far better now."

Chris was touched. He kissed the young man tenderly, "I'm doing a show with Fozzy after Raw. If you want to come."

"I'd love to," Randy blushed a little, "and you're welcome to stay at my house if you like… save on hotel bills."

"Really?"

"If you like," Randy repeated.

"I would like."

I'll see you next week then?" Randy sounded a little sad, he didn't really want to be apart from Chris now that he'd got him.

"I'll call you tonight babe." Chris forced a smile, after spending a night with the man he didn't want to wait another week, but he knew he had to. He was flying out somewhere for a couple of house shows, and Randy was flying home. It was only a week, but that was a long time.

"I'll be waiting." Randy heard his flight being called. "Next week can't come quick enough Chris," he leaned down and kissed the smaller man, "miss you."

As Randy walked off Chris touched his lips, bemused but happy. The young man was earnest but fascinating, and Chris was sure that they'd have an interesting time next week in St. Louis.