Author's Note- I own nothing from Marvel.
While this is a stand-alone story, it is a part of my Loki/Darcy series. If you go to my profile page, you can read the other stories about how Loki and Darcy met and fell in love.
Ch. 1
Friday
Loki walked quickly down the corridor to the council meeting rooms to discuss some last minute details about the trade meeting with the dwarves tomorrow. Asgardians had an almost insatiable desire for the finely crafted metalwork produced in the dwarf realm of Nildavellir. He had tried to rearrange all of his diplomatic duties around his trip with Darcy, but the dwarf king had been quite adamant that the only day possible for the meeting would be tomorrow, once Darcy and Loki were gone. Loki had spent weeks sending messages back and forth to get the meeting rearranged, but to no avail.
Loki had a sneaking suspicion that the dwarf king had specifically chosen that day so he wouldn't have to deal with Loki. Loki prided himself on being a fierce negotiator, consistently getting the best deal for Asgard when it came to trade agreements. He was able to anticipate his opponent's every move and cut him off before any traps were set.
Thor, on the other hand, was far too soft for Loki's tastes, expecting everyone to be full of his own good will and open nature. Thor usually left all external matters to Loki's more than capable hands, but since Loki had promised Darcy that they would go back to Midgard to see her family and celebrate Easter, Thor would have to see to this trade agreement. Thor had promised Loki that he would drive a hard bargain for the good of Asgard, but Loki had his doubts.
Loki opened the massive, wooden doors to the council chambers, glad to see that Thor was alone, contemplating some papers while he was sitting at the far end of the long council table. The regular council would have broke for the day, so Loki would have Thor all to himself.
"Thor, there are a few more things I'd like to go over with you before I leave," Loki began as he approached his adoptive brother. Their relationship had gotten somewhat better over the past year although there were still moments of tension between them. However, since it had been months since either one had thrown the other across a room, Loki considered that to be a vast improvement.
Thor looked up, bleary-eyed. The responsibilities that he took over after being crowned king were weighty. He counted himself lucky that Loki took care of all the external affairs of Asgard, criss-crossing the realms dealing with various diplomatic flare-ups, leaving Thor to focus solely on Asgard. However, when Loki popped down to Midgard with Darcy, even for few days, the entire burden of the realm fell on Thor's shoulders.
"The dwarf envoy sent this over, earlier today. I've not been about to make hide nor hair of it," Thor said, pointing to a lengthy document.
"Have you spoken with our advisor on dwarf matters, Almod?" Loki inquired, looking over the document, squinting at the dense, flowery language.
"Aye. I dismissed him after an hour. A more condescending person I have never met. Present company excluded," Thor gently teased.
Loki nodded. He found Almod to be insufferable as well. He had tried to work with him from time to time as the dwarves were a tricky lot, but generally found it easier to just forge ahead on his own.
"They sent this at the last minute on purpose. They know that the procedures dictate that all contracts and agreements must be delivered the day before any major trade negotiations. This document will take hours to comb through and sure enough, they'll have snuck in some clause or addendum to improve their negotiating stance. Look, I'm not leaving until tomorrow morning. I'll look over this with you. We will work on it together," Loki offered.
"Are you sure?" Thor asked hesitantly.
"Of course. We can't let them best us, now can we?" Loki assured him.
He rang for a servant. When she appeared, Loki smiled. "Please inform Queen Jane and Princess Darcy that we will be here until late tonight and that we're not to be disturbed. We'll need to have our suppers delivered here."
"Yes, your Highness," the servant bowed briefly and turned to go.
"Now, let's get started," Loki said as he turned back to begin pouring over the document.
00000
Late that night, they had finally finished raking through the document, searching for any hidden surprises that would benefit the dwarves in the next day's negotiations. They had caught a few of the dwarves' sneaky ploys that were cleverly tucked away in the contract. Loki felt certain that Thor would be in a good position for the negotiations.
"Well, I should get going; what with the trip tomorrow," Loki said and turned around, nearly tripping on Mjolnir as he did. "What is that blasted thing doing here? Are you really that concerned that you'll be attacked in your own council chambers?" he snarled.
"Well, after what happened a few weeks ago, I thought it best to have it nearby," Thor said dryly.
Loki winced. He had decided to indulge in a few harmless pranks to celebrate the Midgardian holiday of April Fool's Day, targeting Thor, Odin and The Warriors Three. He had been more or less shunned by them ever since.
"Has Odin quite recovered? He's been avoiding me," Loki pointed out, wryly.
"Can you blame him? But, you needn't worry. Father will always forgive you."
00000
As Loki walked back to the chambers he shared with his wife, Thor's words repeated themselves in his mind; "Father will always forgive you." It eerily echoed the upcoming holiday he was about to share with his wife. When they visited her family for Christmas, Darcy had explained to him the religious background of both Christmas and Easter. It was the recurring idea of infinite forgiveness and redemption that made him feel uneasy.
In Asgard, justice and fairness were considered virtues and mercy, while not considered a bad quality, did have a slight connotation of weakness, of placating someone. The idea that only the truly strong could be merciful or show grace never really caught on in Asgard. When his own trial came and Odin, over the protests of the Jotuns, sentenced Loki to rehabilitation on Midgard rather than the death sentence, riots raged in both Asgard and Jotunheim. It was seen as an example of poor judgment and gross nepotism on Odin's part.
Loki knew he was getting off "light" by being placed in S.H.I.E.L.D.'s custody on Midgard and his incarceration was hardly burdensome. For a while, he chalked up the sentence to an old man's foolishness, his misplaced sentiment for an adopted child gone amuck. But, Darcy pointed out that it was tangible evidence of Odin's love for him, braving critics and putting his own kingdom at risk to save his child from death.
For the last few years, the desire for forgiveness and redemption had begun to weigh on Loki. In the beginning, he justified his actions, minimizing what he had done. He called the Asgardian guards that were killed when the Jotuns entered the weapons vaults, idiots for not doing their jobs properly. He called the Jotuns monsters, worthy of extermination. He called the Midgardians ants; tiny, short-lived, insignificant insects.
Darcy had railed at him to no avail, until, one night, she said something that chilled his bones.
"I could have been in New York."
"What nonsense are you talking?" Loki shot back, his temper in full force. He hated arguing with his wife, but he wasn't about to give in.
"If Jane hadn't have been sent to Norway, we had an offer to go to a research facility in New York City. I would have been there."
"I hardly . . . " Loki began.
"It was located near Stark Tower," Darcy said firmly, holding up a hand and interrupting him. "It could have been me. I could have been crushed by the buildings being torn apart. I could have gotten blasted by those aliens. You, yourself, would have mowed me down if I had stood in your way," she said, her voice trembling, her eyes downcast.
"Darcy, I . . ."
"Don't you see? Wouldn't I have just been an ant to you? Some small, worthless life in your way?"
Loki stopped short and peered at his wife, his heart sinking. "I . . . I hadn't thought of it that way."
"I know, sweetie, I know," she said quietly, turning and walking away.
Later on that night, Loki was still up, tossing and turning. His stomach was in knots. He entered the bathroom and was promptly sick, kneeling down, trying to ride out the nausea. His mind kept on flashing to a vision of Darcy's lifeless body, brought down by his own hand.
And the worst part was that he had already done it. Not to Darcy, of course, but to some other man or woman that had been loved just as dearly as Darcy was loved by him. On that very night, someone, either on Jotunheim or Midgard, was wracked by pain and grief, drowning in sorrow over what Loki had done to their loved one.
And there could never really be justice for it. He could never make things right. Loki could spend the rest of his life in jail; he could gladly face the executioner's ax and still, the dead would not come back. There was no real hope for restitution.
Which is why Easter's emphasis on infinite forgiveness and redemption was so puzzling and yet so attractive to Loki. On the one hand, Loki knew that he had a debt he could never even dream to repay. On the other, he knew that he longed for having his slate wiped clean, to no longer feel the weight of the burden pulling him down. He had tried denying his guilt, minimizing what he had done, but he knew that it was just a game, a ploy he had used to escape his crimes.
00000
Loki smiled briefly as he entered into his bedchambers and spied his sleeping wife. He was actually looking forward to seeing Darcy's family the next day and spending time with them. His in-laws had welcomed him in as part of the family, even knowing who he was and what he had done. He would never forget such kindness.
Author's Notes-
1. Up next- Saturday!
2. If you haven't already read them, you can read the story of how Darcy and Loki met and fell in love in my other Darcy/Loki stories.
Lima Syndrome - Darcy and Loki first meet
Stockholm Syndrome - Darcy and Loki fall in love
Loki's First Halloween
Loki's First Thanksgiving
Loki's First Christmas
Loki's First Valentine's Day
Loki's First April Fool's Day