Drink away
Chapter 1: Breakin' Not Stirred
The latest inator crashed to the ground, shattering into pieces with every visible wire sparking. On top of the shrapnel stood a very smug platypus.
"Oh, C'mon!" Heinz Doofenshmirtz flailed widely. "The indestruct-inator itself wasn't indestructible?!"
To his side, near the window, Perry the platypus spared him no attention. He smashed through the window and para-glided away. His job was done.
"Oh, yeah. You just go Perry the platypus." Doofenshmirtz said, despite knowing the small teal mammal couldn't hear him anymore. "Just break my window. Like you do my doors and my walls... You know what? Why don't I just live in a house with no walls? That's right, I should move into a place with no walls. Then you'll be sorry!"
He continued muttering to himself as he walked away from the ruined part of his lab. He'd make Norm clean up for him later, right now he just wanted to mope about the failings of his latest scheme.
It hadn't even been an evil plan in his opinion. He'd just wanted to zap his own building and prevent it from any more destruction via platypus. So what if Perry would never be able to break in again? He could just use a door like everyone else.
He grumbled to himself as he turned his computer on. He grabbed a cup of coffee and checked his blog. Dozens of cat pictures and memes filled the screen. He took a sip of coffee as he scrolled down the page.
Suddenly there was a small ding sound as the computer alerted him of an incoming chat message. Ignoring his blog for the moment, he open the alert. A small L.O.V.E.M.U.F.F.I.N themed chat box appeared on screen.
Undisputedrulr: Greetings doofen-slouch.
Doofenshmirtz glared at the comment. Undisputedrulr, better known as Rodney, was not one of his favorite people. Nor was he really what Heinz wanted to deal with right now.
tristateleader: What do you want, Rodney?
Undisputedrulr: Is that anyway to greet your superior?
He growled at the comment. Classic Rodney. Worse still, he could never come up with a snappy comeback fast enough. Before he could even begin typing a response, Dr. Diminutive logged on.
Ohsotall has logged in
Ohsotall: Hey guys, there's an Evil happy hour going on over in Seattle. Wanna come?
Doofenshmirtz leaned back. Out of the corner of his eye he could still see the mess from earlier. A night of drinking sounded great right about now. Even if his drinking buddies were going to be that annoying Rodney and Dr. 'ohsotall' Diminutive.
tristateleader: Yeah, I'll go
"Well," Doofenshmirtz said to himself. "It'll take my mind off my destroyed indestruct-inator. Now that I think about it, was that irony or coincidence?"