50 Things Sebastian has Learned About Humanity.
1-Soul food is a very misleading concept.
2-Feeding humans to other humans is not looked well upon, no matter how delicious they smell.
3- You do not stick any body parts inside of electrical sockets.
4- Just because Finny is as strong as you, it doesn't make it possible for you to spar with him.
5- You are not allowed to wear tight pants or makeup if you are male.
6- Kittens are cute but they have very sharp teeth and evil little baby claws.
7- Large cats such as tigers will attempt to eat you.
8- Making out with someone under the age of consent will get you into prison.
9- Humans will mistake you for a vampire unless you are in your proper demonic form.
10-Because anything with fangs automatically means vampire to them.
11- Humans think that holy water and bibles will damage me. This is quite confusing.
12- Wearing conservative clothing is essential around females as they will hemorrhage out of
their nostrils if given sight to anything that is highly attractive and male.
13- Apparently high heeled boots are reserved solely reserved for prostitutes.
14- Using my powers of demonic possession to get women to sleep with me is illegal.
15-Using my powers of demonic possession to make Grell leave me alone will never work.
16-Cannabis is not a spice for putting in food.
17- No matter how bored you are, don't go into Maylene's dreams. Ever.
18- Circumcision is very painful and I will wring Ciel's neck when this is over.
19- Caligula is not a hero, even when I think he is.
20- The black plague is not funny.
21- Bard is Canadian and will kick my ass again if I call it otherwise.
22- Soap is not seasonings for human flesh.
23- Human females have abortions every month.... and don't eat the afterbirth. Wtf?
24- Humans are every bit as fucked up as I am.
25- Nobody will believe you if you say you are a demon.
26- They might just lock you up in an insane asylum.
27- "The devil made me do it" is not an excuse, as Ciel bitch slapped Lucy.
28- Goth kids will try to sacrifice their pets to you. I got a kitten!
29- One does not sleep with their high heeled boots on.
30- Humans think me trying to kill them is sexy. So do shinigami.
31- Humans have some really strange kinks.
32- Shinigami have pretty decent senses of humor.
33- Humans are prone to mindless periods of lust during puberty... which is awesome.
34- It is inappropriate for a butler to dance to Lady Gaga.
35- Humans are about 250 years behind me in the technology front.
36- And the fashion front, too.
37- Whoever told Grell about my side job is getting murdered tonight.
38- Chocolate doesn't go on everything.
39- "Tonight we dine in hell!" does not mean King Leonidas is coming over for dinner.
40- I still do not understand "the game" or how it is played.
41- One does not search the master's name on Google without safe search function.
42- Fan girls actually have good ideas every once in awhile.
43- Pornography is not appropriate for human children.
44- But you should never separate a child and his issue of playgirl monthly.
45- Molotov cocktails are not for drinking.
46- My spell book is not to be borrowed by Bard. EVER.
47- Do not shake the human babies.
48- Humans like to eat cute things.... poor bunnies.
49- The French are gay and so is their language.... this explains why Ciel's name suits him so well.
50- Humans are weird.