Fertilizer, a naruto fanfic

Fertilizer

A/N: Phear this crack triplet of doom! I wonder if this is the REAL reason Kimimaro got sick!

WARNING: DISTURBING ZETSU SEX. Remember kids, always spay and neuter your plants!

For Haku.

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Sai looked around the area. The greenhouse was nestled in a large clearing in the woods. Wild trees and stunted shrubs stopped abruptly as if by an invisible wall. Manicured grass surrounded the building, the walls of glass glinting in the sunlight. The lazy buzzing on insects and chirping of birds met Sai's ears. No signs of any people. Suddenly, he thought he felt something, and Sai turned to see something protruding from the smooth grass. Something he was sure wasn't there a minute ago.

"Are you here for the fertilizer?" the thing said, and a man rose out of the grass, a plant enclosing the top of his head. Sai had his brush ready should he have to fight, but he remembered his master's description of the one he was supposed to meet and calmed.

"Yes," a voice said behind Sai and he tensed again. Kimimaro approached and stopped a few feet behind the ninja from Root.

"It seems my assistant scheduled two meetings at once. How…"

"…Amusing," Zetsu's dark half finished. Zetsu grinned.

"Well, come in, both of you. No fighting please. If you disturb my beloved plants…"

"I'll KILL you."

Sai and Kimimaro glanced at each other, Sai with a fox-like grin while Kimimaro's face remained carefully blank and followed Zetsu into the greenhouse. It was stiflingly hot and humid inside and the two young nins felt sweat already beading on their foreheads.

"You are both here for seed, correct?"

Both boys nodded. Kimimaro stared at a large flower that appeared to be breathing. He felt uneasy in this place. A lot of the plants he'd never even heard of before, let alone seen. Sai looked around as well, walking around while Zetsu went over to a table and began to rummage around for empty jars.

"Wow, you sure are an ugly one, aren't you?" Sai said with a laugh, pointing at a lumpy potato with orange spiky spuds protruding from its rough skin. One of the spuds lashed out and pricked Sai's finger. Sai drew his finger back and started to suck on it. He kept his grin in place, however.

"Ouch!"

"Don't insult my babies!" Zetsu warned from his table. Sai waved his uninjured hand.

"My apologies, overgrown weed!"

Zetsu whirled and gnashed his teeth.

"If you make him mad, we might not get what we came here for," Kimimaro said coldly.

"I don't care if you die, but I must finish my mission. If I fail Orochimaru-sama because of your mouth, there will be hell to pay."

"Those red dots make you look like you have herpes," Sai said with a bright smile. Kimimaro sighed and ignored him, crossing his arms. The heavily breathing flower was now drooling liquid nectar. It pooled on the floor and Kimimaro had to step back to avoid the strange substance.

"Wise to step away, Sonya's saliva burns like acid," Zetsu explained. Kimimaro decided to hover over by some normal looking marigolds instead.

"Ah here we are, I have to empty jars and corks. Now, for the seed. Will you two please come here?"

"This one looks like a penis!" Sai exclaimed to a neon blue mushroom. It chirped at him. Kimimaro sighed and grabbed Sai by the wrist and pulled him towards Zetsu. 580

"There is only one way to get my famous fertilizer. I normally only meet with one customer at a time, but this is a nice change of pace. And both of you are so pretty," Zetsu mused, nodding appreciatively. Kimimaro tensed while Sai just cocked his head, that fake smile still in place.

"Oh? And how do we get it?"

"Up the ass," Zetsu's dark half said. Kimimaro blushed. Sai opened his eyes.

"I had a feeling something weird was going on," Kimimaro mused. Why would his master do this to him? Whore him out to a vicious monster?

Sai was thinking along the same lines. Zetsu thrust the jars into the boys' arms and grinned.

"Whoever is the best fuck gets the most fertilizer," Zetsu said and shrugged off his cloak. He wasn't wearing anything underneath. His strange plant appendage started from the waist and enclosed his arms, though he could easily slip his arms out when he needed to. Like he was doing now.

The black color faded into white at his right thigh. His cock, which was roughly the same size as a large cucumber, was black and white like his face. A pale green liquid was oozing out of the head. Zetsu stroked the large organ and looked hungrily at the boys.

"Who wants to go first?"

Sai and Kimimaro looked at each other. There was an awkward silence. Then Sai came forward and got to his knees. He grinned up at Zetsu and grabbed onto the large cock with one hand while his other held onto his jar.

"I've never done this befo—"

Sai didn't have much time to explain as Zetsu stuffed the dark haired boy's mouth with his engorged erection. Sai gagged and tried to pull off but Zetsu snaked a hand out of his fly trap and held onto the back of his head, forcing him to deep throat him. Sai struggled to relax his throat, the green liquid from Zetsu's cock oozing out of his mouth with every thrust.

"Collect it, boy!" Zetsu hissed and Sai held the jar up to his mouth so that the seed trickled into it. The plant man growled low in his throat as Sai's teeth grazed his cock. Zetsu threw his head back and pounded even harder. Sai's throat felt raw and itchy and he could hardly breathe but Zetsu wouldn't let him go. Finally the plant man tensed up and pulled out of Sai. The dark haired man quickly slid his jar over Zetsu's cock as he came into it, shooting an inhuman amount of the green sticky stuff inside.

Sai wiped at his mouth and coughed. The semen made him feel incredibly thirsty and he looked around.

"Can I have some water?" Sai asked kindly. Zetsu pointed at the jar.

"Get this thing off me and take your clothes off. Both of you."

Kimimaro looked down at the jar of seed, then Sai.

"I take that as a no?" Sai asked sweetly. Zetsu sat down on the ground, his cock still hard and ready. Kimimaro shrugged off his robe and the rest of his clothes in silence. Sai watched him and when the Sound nin was completely nude, Sai pointed and laughed.

"Wow you DO have one! I thought maybe you were a girl," Sai said. Kimimaro rolled his eyes.

"Yeah…let's see what you got then?"

Sai smiled and quickly stripped himself. Kimimaro blushed at the boy's erection.

"You're turned on by that monster!" Kimimaro mused. Zetsu growled like a rabid dog, making both boys jump.

"Your turn," Zetsu said to Kimimaro. The pale haired boy dropped to all fours and set his jar down, nudging Sai's half filled one away. He grasped the base of that black and white cock and teased the head with his tongue. Zetsu closed his gold eyes. Kimimaro licked down the shaft, tasting the strange, bitter cum and the sweeter taste of Sai's saliva.

Kimimaro then wrapped his lips around Zetsu's cock, bobbing his head up and down. He looked up at Zetsu's face as he did it, watching as the plant man's lips twitched, his sharp teeth bared, pink tongue poking out. Kimimaro suddenly gave a muffled cry when hands caressed his backside. Zetsu's eyes flew open and he saw Sai pressing up against the boy sucking him off.

"Aaah, yes, take him."

Sai grinned and sucked on his fingers while he pressed his cock up against Kimimaro's ass. When his digits were coated in saliva, he pulled them out of his mouth and slid his middle finger into Kimimaro's opening. Kimimaro winced and grunted. Sai stuck in another finger and pushed past the first ring of muscle and deeper. He stroked against the bundle of nerves within and Kimimaro moaned, pressing his ass against Sai's prodding fingers. A third finger went in, stretching the white haired boy out.

The Leaf nin reached underneath to pump his hand along Kimimaro's erection. Sai removed his fingers and replaced them with his cock, sheathing himself inside Kimimaro. The Sound nin moaned and pushed against Sai as he thrust in and out of him, teasing Kimimaro with his hand and kissing and licking at his pale back.

The white haired boy didn't last long and came on the floor. His jaws clenched, his mouth tightened on Zetsu's cock and Zetsu came, shooting his seed down Kimimaro's throat. Kimimaro grabbed the jar and collected the rest as it continued to spray out of Zetsu's cock.

Kimimaro could barely see straight, his body shuddering and tensing. Sai came last inside Kimimaro's tight ass. The white haired boy set his jar down and collapsed on Zetsu's legs. Sai pulled out and tried to get his breath back. Zetsu watched Sai panting and licked his lips.

"I want to take you," Zetsu growled and vines seemed to spring from nowhere and pull Kimimaro onto him, his back facing the missing Grass nin. The white haired boy screamed as his body was forced down onto Zetsu's large cock. His insides tore at the plant man's girth and he whimpered. Sai watched Kimimaro's strained face and started to grow hard again, stroking himself as Zetsu grabbed onto his hips and forced the boy up and down.

Zetsu leaned in and started to gnaw at Kimimaro's neck, sucking on the blood spilling from the cuts.

"I want to eat you alive," Zetsu growled, making Kimimaro's breath hitch. He opened an eye to see Sai splayed in front of him, pleasuring himself. Kimimaro and Sai stared at each other as Kimimaro was slammed onto Zetsu over and over again. Blood and cum, red and green, streaked down Zetsu's meaty organ. Zetsu bit ferociously at Kimimaro's skin, tearing it, drinking up the spilled blood and panting for more.

Zetsu's body tensed and he shifted their positions so that he was now leaning over Kimimaro. The white haired boy was on all fours, his arms struggling to keep his body off of the cum streaked floor. Sai was now within reach, and Kimimaro grabbed his legs and pulled him closer. Sai spread his legs and rested them on Kimimaro's shoulders, grinning at him.

Kimimaro grinned back.

"I'm not the only one who's going to be fucked," Kimimaro said quietly and reached up to his shoulder. A bone slid out of it, long and slightly curved, nearly as thick as Zetsu's enormous cock. Blood from his body was slicked along it and Kimimaro shoved it into Sai with one quick painful thrust. Sai arched his back and bit back a scream.

As Zetsu pounded hard and fast into Kimimaro, the white haired boy shoved the bone just as hard into Sai, who squeezed and stroked his cock to try to relieve the pain. Soon, Sai was enjoying what Kimimaro was doing to him, meeting the thrusts and moaning. Kimimaro groaned when Zetsu reached around to fist his cock.

The sounds of Kimimaro and Sai moaning and grunting soon forced Zetsu over the edge again, and he bit down viciously on Kimimaro's shoulder, shooting his seed deep inside. Kimimaro tried to pull away to collect more of it but Zetsu held his hips in place.

"You have enough," Zetsu said in between licks on his skin. Kimimaro grimaced when Zetsu pulled out of him. His insides felt stretched beyond repair and burned from the beating Zetsu had given him. Kimimaro shoved the bone into Sai one last time and Sai came, milky cum splattering his chest.

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Zetsu let the boys hose themselves off while he stoppered their jars of seed and decorated them with ribbon and attached cute little tags bearing his signature. When both Kimimaro and Sai were freshly washed and clothed, Zetsu thrust the jars into their hands.

"Thank you for stopping by. Have a nice day."

"Fuck you later," Zetsu's black half said and Kimimaro and Sai quietly left the greenhouse, a newfound fear of plants instilled in both of them.