I was cleaning out files on my computer and I found this fic along with a couple of others I might post later on! Let me know what you guys think of this : )
"Emily, do you really think this is a good idea?" Penelope Garcia asked skeptically as the two of them pulled into the parking lot of the drug store.
"It'll be fine," Emily reassured her friend, turning the car off and unbuckling her seatbelt.
"But do we have to do this?" Garcia questioned, following Emily's lead and getting out of the car as well.
"It'll be hilarious, I promise," Emily said again, pressing the button to lock her car and walking into the store, Garcia trailing closely behind her.
"Hm," Emily pondered once she and Garcia had made it to what they planned to purchase. "What kind should we get?"
"Does it really matter?" Garcia asked. "I mean, for what we're using them for,"
"You're right," Emily agreed, nodding her head. "Just grab a few handfuls and we'll make it work," she instructed, as she and Garcia each took boxes and placed them into their basket.
Emily had pestered Morgan all morning when she noticed his behavior was not what it normally was.
"So," Emily had said, resting her elbows on her desk and putting her chin in her hands, looking over at Morgan at his desk. "What's her name?"
"What are you talkin' about, Princess?" he questioned, never looking up from his stacks of files.
"Oh come on, you've barely said two words to me since we've been here, and you keep checking your phone every few minutes. You've got a girlfriend, don't you?" she prodded, wiggling her eyebrows at him.
"You're not profilin' me, are you?" he teased lightly.
"Come on!" She continued. "If I had a boyfriend, I would tell you,"
"No you wouldn't," he said seriously.
Emily huffed. "Okay, fine. But if you won't tell me now, I'll just force you to tell me later,"
"Yeah, okay," he had said, shaking his head at the notion.
That was how Emily had come to spend the remainder of her morning thinking up a plan. She had gone to Garcia with it, knowing the blonde Tech Analyst would love to pull a prank on Morgan just as much as Emily would herself. Somehow, Emily's various ideas had come to the two of them decorating Morgan's desk with condoms. Garcia had fervently protested at first, afraid of getting in trouble. Emily had been just as persistent, and eventually she had Garcia, albeit unwillingly, helping Emily over their lunch break.
They paid for the ridiculous amounts of contraceptives, Emily completely ignoring the strange looks the cashier was giving them, while Garcia gave a nervous smile. They each took a few bags, making their way back to Emily's car.
"Don't forget, as soon as everyone else from the team is gone, we come back to my car and get these and start our masterpiece," Emily reminded Garcia as they proceeded to make their way back to the BAU.
"Okay," Garcia agreed. "What if Boss Man gets mad?" Garcia asked, referring to Hotch.
"Oh, please," Emily snorted. "I can handle him, I promise,"
"Alright," Garcia surrendered, throwing her hands up. "If you're sure…"
The rest of the day seemed to drag on for Emily. Never mind the fact she was an FBI Agent who could intimidate even the sickest criminals, she was extremely excited to decorate her co-worker's desk with condoms. Maybe a bit too excited, she had decided. But, it wasn't as if she had much of a life outside her job, so she decided to embrace the childlike excitement while she could.
By the time everyone, Hotch included, had left the building that evening, very few people remained in the desks surrounding Emily's and Morgan's.
Finally! Emily thought happily, scrambling to put away all the files she had been pretending to look at for the past hour and a half. She nearly sprinted down to Garcia's lair, flinging the door open as she came to it.
Garcia jumped a little, bringing a hand up to her chest. "Lord have mercy, Em! You scared me!"
"Sorry, sorry," Emily said quickly. "Come on, they're all gone! Let's do this!"
"You do remember there's a night crew here, right? They clean the place up and whatnot? Our hardwork will be clean by morning,"
"No it won't," Emily insisted. "The guy who cleans our floor said he'd leave it. I told him we were pranking someone,"
"Oh joy," Garcia said sarcastically. "Guess there's no way out of this one, huh?"
"Nope!" Emily said, pulling Garcia's arm. "Now come on! Let's do this!" she said excitedly.
"You're acting like a little kid at Christmas," Garcia mumbled, following the dark-haired agent out to her car, where the two of them had stashed the condom boxes earlier in the day.
Emily unlocked the car and opened the door. She took a few bags out of the backseat and handed them to Garcia, then she took some herself. They hurriedly made their way into the BAU once again, strolling over to Morgan's desk.
"I cannot believe we're about to do this!" Garcia said.
"Oh come on, didn't you ever do anything rebellious?" Emily asked, starting to take the boxes out of the bags, tossing the plastic bags into the trash.
"When I was a teenager, maybe. But Emily, we're adults! We work for the government! There are rules against this!"
"Relax," Emily said coolly. "It's just a little practical joke,"
Garcia sighed. "Okay, fine. You're right. Let's just hurry before we get caught,"
Emily agreed, and the two diligently began ripping the boxes open, strategically placing the condoms all over Morgan's desk. Once they'd covered the entire surface, they set to covering the chair, and the surrounding part of the floor.
"Looks good," Emily commented, stepping back to admire their work.
"Okay let's get outta here!" Garcia said, pulling Emily's arm in effort to get the brunette moving.
"Okay, okay," Emily said, following the blonde out into the parking lot. "I have to get here early enough to see his face!"
"Like he's ever on time, anyway," Garcia commented.
"That's true," Emily laughed. "Thanks for your help. Even if I forced you,"
"Fret not, I may be a worry-wart but this was actually fun. His reaction should be hilarious!"
"Alright, well, I'll see ya in the morning!" Emily said to her friend, getting in her car and starting the engine and Garcia did the same.
—-
The next morning, Emily got to work 15 minutes earlier than normal. Before heading into the bull pen to her desk, she stopped by to see Garcia.
She knocked lightly on the door, entering when she heard Garcia's approval.
"Hey," Emily said happily.
"Oh, hi," Garcia said, a look of confusion spread across her face.
"What's wrong?" Emily asked.
"Why are you so calm? I figured once you saw what happened you'd-"
"What do you mean? What happened?" Emily asked again, concern and worry in her tone.
"Uh-oh. You don't- you haven't… great," Garcia muttered into her hands.
"Penelope Garcia! Tell me what's going on right now!"
Garcia sighed, standing from her chair. "Okay, follow me. Just, whatever you do, keep that gun holstered and don't shoot anyone,"
Emily's eyes widened as she followed Garcia out to the bull pen. She gasped and froze in her position, her eyes glued to the scene before her.
Somehow, the design Garcia and Emily had left on Morgan's desk the previous night had appeared on Emily's desk, for all to see.
"How- when- what the hell?!" Emily stuttered.
"You act like you're so hard to profile," she heard the familiar voice of Derek Morgan say from behind her. She quickly spun around, glaring at him, placing her hands on her hips.
"What are you talking about, Morgan? How did you know?"
"Profiled it,"
"There is no way you could have known what I was up to yesterday. I never hinted at it. Now tell me!" She said through clenched teeth.
"Emily, come on, you can't be mad. You did it to me first,"
"Derek Morgan, I swear to God I will deck you right here and now if you don't tell me who told you!" She nearly yelled, her fists clenched at her side.
"Okay, okay! Calm down, Princess. Reid saw you and Garcia setting this little art piece up when he came back for his phone that he left in his desk. But when he saw you, he turned around and left. Then he told me. So, I took it upon myself to drag myself out of bed early enough to turn it all around on you," He said proudly, smirking as he did so.
"Ugh!" Emily yelled in frustration, marching past Morgan, but not before elbowing him in the stomach on her way out. She was headed for Garcia's lair again, just wanting to be rid of everyone's stares.
"Morgan!" Reid squeaked. "Why did you tell on me?"
"Quiet, kid. If I'm going down, I'm taking you with me,"
"You know, she's really gonna have it in for you now," Garcia told Morgan firmly.
"And I'll always be one step ahead of her," he smirked again.
"Better clean that up before Strauss hears about it," Garcia told him.
"Emily did it, make her do it,"
"But you moved them to her desk. There's no proof they were ever on yours anyway. Your only witness is Reid, who I'm pretty sure Emily can threaten and get on her side in a heartbeat,"
"Damn it," Morgan cursed, rolling his eyes as he began to clean up Emily's desk. Garcia laughed, making her way back into her lair to try to calm Emily down. She was sure once she told her Morgan was in there cleaning everything up, she would instantly feel better. Sometimes they could all act like a bunch of teenagers, but in the end, none of them would have it any other way.