Harry Potter does not belong to me, but to J.K. Rowling.

This is a result of my discussion with my mom about movie-version Cho Chang. PAIRINGS: cho/cedric, cho/harry

A Girl's Heart

I never know what to do anymore. No one comes near me-except for Marietta. Even she doesn't understand. No one understands.

"WillyougototheYuleBallwithme?" Harry Potter blurted in a rush. I had an idea what he said, but I wasn't sure. I asked, and he replied. "Will you go to the Yule Ball with me?"

Yes, Harry, I will. Even as the traitorous thoughts passed through my mind, I was replying to his request, "I'm sorry, Harry, I'm going with someone else."

I heard the regret loud and clear in my voice-I was certain he did, too. That didn't stop his face from falling in disappointment. I didn't want to disappoint him. He muttered something that I didn't catch, but I decided to leave anyway. My letter was sent. I shouldn't stick around.

"Cho!"

I turned and practically rushed back to Harry. Too eager. He asked me who I was going with. I spoke softly the name that, until five minutes ago, was all it took to have my heart in overdrive, my stomach full of dancing butterflies, my face hot with the rush of blood: "Cedric Diggory."

Harry nodded and turned away from me. I shouldn't have said anything, but my traitorous thoughts had already poisoned my body, my tongue. I called out the traitorous words that I knew would come back to bite me later, "Harry, I really am sorry."

"You look gorgeous, Cho," Cedric breathed on my neck as we stood ready to enter the Great Hall. I smiled back at him. My heart was pounding in excitement; my stomach was so full of butterflies that I thought they would make me lift off the floor. Cedric smiled sweetly back at me-my perfect prince.

We enter the Great Hall. We danced with the other champions, although I felt like we were the only ones on the dance floor. My eyes never left his equally excited eyes as we twirled around and he lifted me effortlessly through the air. A prince and princess-the center of the universe.

"Let's get some drinks," I suggested breathlessly as the song changed to an even faster beat. He led me through the crowds to the drinks. Viktor Krum was there with Hermione Granger. Cedric, the ever-so perfect gentleman, talked to the Durmstrang champion as if they were classmates, not competitors locked in a deadly tournament that would gain them recognition from all over the world. I looked over at Hermione. She was upset; I could tell even though she kept a smooth face. I wasn't in Ravenclaw for nothing. I followed her glance to the table where Harry (don't blush) and his friend, Ron Weasley, sat. I wondered if they had fought. I wondered why I even cared. Because she is Harry's friend-closer to him.

Fleur Delacour's scream ripped through the nighttime air, cutting over the cheers of the audience too far away to see. I wasn't lucky enough. Why did I have to be so close? Why did I have to see?

Harry laid sobbing across Cedric-both bloody, both battered. But my eyes didn't move away from Cedric's face-his wide, unseeing eyes that gaped up at the starry sky. Screams and shouts filled the air around me. People rushed forward. I moved with them. No, no don't. Please… I stood just a few feet from them. I heard Harry's broken cries that You-Know-Who had returned. You-Know-Who had killed Cedric, my prince-my fallen, broken prince.

I stared at the photo of Cedric. My grip on my wand tightened. I was getting better at defense-Harry said so. I stared at his charming smile. He was happy, unaware that his death would be the first violent one of this new war against You-Know-Who.

I felt Harry step up beside me. My senses had gone haywire whenever I was near him this year. Harry, Harry, Harry. I tore my eyes from Cedric's face. My eyes stung-it did it often now. Harry smiled understandingly. Like Cedric. We both looked up at the mistletoe above us. Our lips touched-his were hesitant, mine was eager. His first kiss-Cedric was mine. I was so used to them that I didn't even notice the first flow of tears spilling over my cheeks onto his. I sucked in a wobbly breath as his lips pulled away a millimeter. I didn't pull away. He was gone before I opened my eyes. I didn't even wipe the tears away. I grabbed my bookbag and left the Room of Requirement. I headed back to the Ravenclaw tower.

I was numb-no, I was in pain-no, I was ashamed-no, I was afraid. I never made it to the Ravenclaw tower. It wasn't until hours later that I was found on the cold tiles of the girls' bathroom by Marietta. I didn't look at her. She stood over me for a few minutes-hesitating (they always do)-before kneeling down beside me. In a few minutes she would be gone, to whatever class we had this morning while I remained here on the cold tiles. My swollen eyes closed; there were no tears left to cry.

I never know what to do anymore. No one comes near me-except for Marietta. Even she doesn't understand. No one understands.