Whenever you looked at the conjoined twins, Terry and Terri, it's clear which one is the more cheerful and outgoing. Terri with an "i". Playful. Happy. Always has smile. He's been this way for pretty much all his life. Constantly happy, looking for the silver lining of everything. Total contrast to his cynical older brother, Terry.
However, there was a time when Terri wasn't happy. Three thin scars on his upper wrist exist as proof.
In his and Terry's teen years, discrimination against polycephalous monsters was really starting to get to Terri. When people would act like he didn't exist, or as though he was his brother, it hurt. A lot. But he never let his brother see how much it bothered him. He'd brush it off, acting like it was nothing. The truth is, Terri struggled with depression. He had trouble sleeping, his smiles were fake, his mind and his dreams were plagued with voices that spoke of him as a spare. Nothing but a spare head. Terry's spare head. The extra. Nothing but an extra skull. Meaningless. A mistake. He shouldn't exist.
Once in Terry's health class, Terri learned that when the body is injured, a chemical is released. This chemical causes happiness and relief. When he heard this, the young monster began to wonder if a self-induced injury could do the same.
It is for this reason, that he began to think about ways he could release that chemical. All Terri wanted was to be recognized. But that wasn't happening any time soon. He didn't want to bring his problems to Terry, either. There wasn't anything his big brother could do, and it would just bring him down as well.
Getting the pencil sharpener to their bed stand without raising questions wasn't an easy task. Actually, keeping anything a secret from someone is extremely difficult when you're literally connected to them. He managed it, though. When he and Terry were working on homework, Terri had asked if they could work on their bed; Terry complied with no questioning. He and his older brother had sat on the bed and resumed their progress; Terri set the pencil sharpener down behind the lamp, unnoticed by Terry.
Then, later that night, before they'd gone to bed, Terri had requested to get a glass of water. Once again, Terry didn't think of it and got a glass. Their mother was cleaning dishes and threw Terry an acknowledgment as he poured himself a glass of ice water. Her words stung the younger brother, but he made no sign of it.
The twins retreated back to their bedroom. Terri sipped the glass once. As they said goodnight and turned out the light, he set his glass on the bed stand.
Terri waited. He knew his brother had fallen asleep as soon as he started snoring. Other than the occasional clink of dishes being cleaned and Terry's snoring, the room was silent. Moonlight streamed in through the open window, casting the room in a faint white glow. Eventually even the soft sound of dishes being cleaned subsided, and the kitchen light clicked off.
Terri reached over carefully towards the lamp with his upper hand, his fingers delicately searching for the small tool. The cool plastic met his thumb and he grabbed the sharpener. Examining it in the moonlight, Terri found the small screw holding the blade in place. With difficulty, he held the sharpener with his lower hand and twisted the screw with his upper hand's thumb and index finger
Anxious excitement twisted in his stomach. Would this work? Would this actually make him happy? Science is science, right? The chemicals have to be released. At the same time, however, Terri was worried. He shared a body with Terry. Would this count as hurting his brother? What would he do if Terry woke up? His heart seized.
What would Terry do?
The screw finally came off, dropping on the blanket and rolling onto the carpet silently. Terri swallowed his worried thoughts. He was sure that Terry would want him to be happy. And after all, this is Terri's side of the body, right? He can do whatever he wants to it.
Terri separated the blade from the plastic and the discarded piece fell to the floor. He looked over at his glass of ice water. Small droplets shimmered on the outside. He swiped a finger along the surface, gathering condensation on his finger. It wasn't much, but it was enough to clean the graphite off the small blade.
Taking the blade in his lower hand, upper hand bent awkwardly to offer his wrist at a better angle, Terri glanced back at his brother. Sound asleep, snoring softly. He looked back at his wrist. With his lower hand, he pressed the blade horizontally to his lower wrist. Biting his bottom lip softly, Terri pressed and dragged the blade across his skin. He flinched slightly as blood began to ooze from the small incision. Bright and cool, it gathered and slid down his wrist. Dark scarlet drops stained the blue blanket. He'd find a way to explain that later.
Terry stirred in his sleep, his eyebrow twitching. Terri froze, then looked back at him, again. When his older brother was once again still and snoring softly, Terri turned back to his wrist. So far he didn't feel anything but sharp pain. He was still sad. The young monster put the blade to his wrist a second time, below the first cut, and repeated the action. Once again Terry stirred, and once again he settled. Terri didn't notice that the soft snoring hadn't continued. More blood trickled down Terri's wrist and still no change.
Terri pressed the blade to his wrist a third time. Halfway through the movement, an angry voice startled him. "Terri! What are you doing?!"
The younger brother looked back quickly, facing him. He put on a poorly faked smile, his mouth open as he desperately searched for words. "Terry!" he said with too much cheer in his voice. "I thought you were asleep!" Terry didn't respond. "What're you doing up?"
He saw Terry's eye move. It moved from his own, and stopped on his wrist.
He saw his brother's hard expression soften.
His heart snapped in two when he heard the pain in his older brother's voice.
"Terri… Why?…"
The younger monster's false smile fell and looked away, down at his wrist. He spoke slowly at first.
"You don't talk to me in public so you won't be discriminated against…but it happens anyway. You have to deal with them," his tone heightened and his speech sped up, "and I don't want to make it worse by sharing my feelings with you because there's nothing you can do." The younger brother was silent for a moment, before turning sharply to look up at his brother. "I can't stand it, Terry! I can't stand being treated like I don't exist!" His eye grew wetter and his bottom lip trembled. He looked into his brother's eye, unable to find words to describe how hurt he was. His voice cracked, "My own mother doesn't believe I exist!"
Terri's despair racked their body, his face turned away from his other half.
Terry looked at his weeping brother. He had always thought Terri wasn't all that bothered with cephalists. He'd always brushed off insulting remarks like nothing and insisted that Terry not defend against them. He never would have guessed that Terri was this…depressed. It never occurred to him that Terri would go so far as to harm himself. And, ultimately, harm Terry, as well.
Terry softly spoke, "Terri… You don't have to hide your sadness from me. I want to help you, I want you to be able to have someone to talk to. I don't want you to suffer alone." He gently grabbed his brother's bleeding wrist. "And I certainly don't want you doing thisto yourself, Terri."
Blood still slowly seeped out between Terry's fingers, pooling in the creases before spilling over his hand and running down his arm.
The younger brother didn't know what to say. All he could do was whisper weakly, "I'm sorry, Terry…"
His older brother let go of his wrist and comfortingly held him; Terri let his arms fall limply, leaning into Terry and crying quietly, "I'm sorry… I'm so sorry…"
Terry rested his head on his brother.
"It's alright. I'm here, I'll protect you. I'll always protect you."