Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto, granted if I did I wouldn't bother writing this, for I'd be rich.
It was a warm spring morning and the best day of their lives… No wait, sorry wrong story. No happy story for these Akatsuki members, no this was the strangest days of these three's lives.
Now it all started in the frozen lands of the Mist village; Kisame, Itachi, and Sasori were coming back from a visit to Kisame's family.
"I can't believe they all look like sharks, I just thought you had some mutation, but seriously your parents are sharks too, and your sister!" Itachi exclaimed with disgust. You see Itachi had always told Kisame "Only you could be this ugly", but Kisame always said there were others like him. Itachi no doubt was extremely shocked when he found a family of shark like people.
"See I told you, so you better apologize to me, for 5 years of brutal insults that cut straight to my heart" Kisame replied happily, but with a tinge of depression
"He doesn't need to apologize, an insult isn't an insult if it's true you know" Sasori muttered. Although he prided himself on his ability to work well with others, like Itachi he couldn't help but insult Kisame for looking like a shark of all things. He was just as disappointed as Itachi, to find that he couldn't really insult Kisame anymore without also insulting Kisame's 68 year old mother who was really a great woman. Akatsuki prides itself on respecting elders and Sasori and Itachi weren't going to be the first to breaking that motto.
"I hope you all go and jump in a pit somewhere, and I hope it has spikes in it, and it there's snakes in there, and it's on fire, and there's a shark in there and it'll eat you up" Kisame said sounding like an angry 5 year old.
"How can there be sharks and snakes in there if it's on fire? Wouldn't they die?, also what's a shark doing in a pit?" Itachi asked trying to picture it in his head.
"Well it doesn't matter anyway, the point is you can all burn in hell, and if I have to-" Kisame stopped abruptly, he couldn't help but notice an old man sitting on a chair facing away from them.
"Who the hell is that?" Sasori asked, he also couldn't help but notice the old man who was directly in their way.
"Wait is this the way we came here? I'm pretty suure the place we went through had less… old men in there, we probably got lost, no thanks to Kisame ranting like a four year old distracting us" Itachi mused
"How can you blame me? Sure I ranted, but one of you "older people" should have figured that we were going a totally different path" Kisame huffed
"Silence!" the old man suddenly yelled out, turning around to face them. The three of them all clamored up and looked at awe at this old man who turned to face them. The man was obviously older than 70, yet his eyes looked as if he had slain thousands of ninjas with ease before, he also had a strange object leaning against the chair.
"You three aren't getting past without getting the password right" the old man bellowed out
"Password, what the hell? You guys know what he's talking about?" Itachi asked the others.
"Not at all" they replied in unison
"If yall don't know the password, then I'm uh afraid that you guys will need to be killed" he said, picking up the object and pointing it at the them.
"Wait what the hell are we doing? We're ninjas, damn good ones too couldn't we just kill this guy, or just move past him with our superspeed or something like that? Anyone else think about this" Sasori said in a rare display of frustration
"Oh yeah" Kisame said with an evil grin growing on his face. He pulled our his sword and pointed it at the old man. "Listen old man, I'm not sure who you think you are, but we're Akatsuki and we don't take commands from stupid old men.
"Bang" smoke rose from the old man's object… yes it's a gun, don't ask me how it got there I'm just the narrator.
Kisame stared in shock at the hole on his shoulder, where blood was spurting out at an alarming rate.
"AHHHH, my shoulder, oh my god the pain." Kisame yelled out in agony, as he started rolling on the floor.
"Ha, Kisame got shot by an old man" Sasori replied smugly "Still though, what the hell is up with this man, hey Itachi we're better off just leaving now and cutting our losses"
"Well shouldn't we at least take Kisame with us, funny as this is, I doubt the higher ups would be happy if we just left him here you know" Itachi said with no concern for Kisame whatsoever
"Nah, we'll just explain it and I'm sure they'll just think Kisame got lost on his own, and – Bang!" Sasori froze in pain, the old man had decided to shoot at Sasori mid-conversation, I know Bush league stuff right, oh sorry I'll stop interrupting now, back to the story. "Jesus Christ, my leg," Sasori screamed out "Why did you shoot me"
"Yall weren't telling me the password, I told you what'd happen" the old man replied
"Can't blame his logic pretty sound if you ask me, anyway while you two are on the ground I'm out of here- Bang! Why?" Itachi said before being shot in the leg, I mean really you think they'd have left by now instead of getting shot.
"Man you guys are dumb, I asked for the password and you three just babble on and on, now password or I shoot to kill" The old man replied
"Alright, alright, uh password ummmm, can we get a hint" Itachi asked hopefully
"I don't know, can you?" The old man replied ominously
Will those three get the password right? Will the Old man shoot them? How did he get a gun? And what path did those three possibly take to find an old man with a gun? Find out next chapter.