It Is You I Have Loved
I pull my blood soaked shirt over my head, stare down at the red t – shirt underneath, and pull that off too. In disgust, I realize that the blood has tattooed my chest. Henry makes a sympathetic face, as you and Frank enter the room. As I set about scrubbing children's blood off my body, your eyes catch mine, making my heart melt with your smile. Somehow, the weariness and anger coursing through my body seems to disappear, and I return your smile.
*There is something that I see
In the way you look at me*
The blood refuses to scrub off, and I stomp out, leaving my t – shirt in the laundry hamper. In the Swamp, I pour a martini, flop on my bunk, and close my eyes, trying to clear my reeling head of its blood soaked thoughts. I peer at my watch. 11:36. Frank won't be home, judging by the package Hot Lips got in mail call, and the gleefulness in Frank's beady little eyes. Not to mention the gallon and a half of putrid smelling cologne he doused himself in.
You open the door, pitching your jacket at your cot, and grabbing a martini. I feel the movement of the cot as you sit down next to me. Reluctantly, I open my eyes, to find you now lying next to me, hair gleaming in the dim light. My heart races as you brush light fingers across my still pink chest. "Won't come off, huh?" you inquire, voice low and husky, for some reason.
*There's a smile, there's a truth
In your eyes*
I settle for shaking my head, finishing the gin and setting the glass on the floor. Your fingers are still tracing abstract patterns on my chest, and my hands tremble slightly. "But…" You press a finger against my lips. "Shh. Don't talk." I close my eyes, tilting my head back and letting a sigh escape me.
Your mouth is on my neck now, trailing across my throat with light, soft kisses, making me shiver as the cool air hits my wet flesh. "I…love…you," you mutter, pausing to suck on my Adam's apple. I moan, holding your head still, my fingers twisting in your hair.
*What an unexpected way
On this unexpected day
Could it be this is where I belong*
"I love you too," I reply, my breath catching in my throat. As you continue to move down my neck, my fingers tighten, one hand in your hair, the other gripping your shoulder. I yelp as you bite down, a little harder than intended. "Sorry," you say, soothing the bite mark with your warm, wet mouth.
Pleasure courses through me as your teeth scrape against my skin. My fatigue and frustration have disappeared, replaced by anticipation, excitement – and a fair portion of fear. If someone was to walk in, to catch us…
I push the dark thoughts from my head, focusing on you, returning the kisses and caresses. There is nothing but you.
*It is you I have loved all along*
Finally, our lips meet, touching gently at first, then more insistent, tongues battling for control. We break apart, just to breath, and you bury your face in my neck, as I angle my head to give you better access. My name has never sounded better than it does now, falling from your lips, tangled with moans and promises of love and eternity.
I begin to speak, but the words are lost as your long, delicate fingers tease my nipples into hard peaks. I am completely speechless, your tongue flicking against each one in turn drawing the ability to talk from me. My body jolts as you nip gently, your eyes meeting mine, sending the same messages of love.
*There's no more mystery,
It is finally clear to me*
I pull you back up to eye level, tugging your shirt over your head. I trail my tongue across your skin, pausing to bite here and there. Your face is buried in my hair, as you mumble a steady stream of words I can't make out. But it doesn't matter. For the first time in months, I am relaxed, and calm.
*You're the home my heart searched for so long
And it is you I have loved all along*
Suddenly, my pants feel like steel, restricting and rigid. My hands leave your body to unbuckle my belt, holding your gaze as I do the same to you. Even as my hand closes around you, your body bucks underneath me, my name tearing from your throat, laced with pleasure.
"Oh, God…" I pause in my attentions to engage you in a hard, almost biting kiss, smothering your cries. It's too dangerous for us to be loud…we can take no chances.
Even so, the physical closeness to you is firmly pushing back all the fears and insecurities. I feel completely at ease with you, able to show you my true side, something most do not get a chance to witness.
*There were times I ran to hide
Afraid to show the other side
Alone in the night without you
But now I know just who you are
And I know you hold my heart*
We build a rhythm, which quickly increases, until I am teetering on the edge. My body jerks as you bite my ear, and the sharp pain, coupled with your sighing groan, is enough to bring me over the edge, with you not far behind.
I slump into the mattress, utterly relaxed, your whispered moans still echoing in my ears. We snuggle together, reveling in the post-coital glow, at peace with the world.
*Finally this is where I belong
And it is you I have loved all along*
Your breathing slows, becoming deeper, and I know you have fallen asleep. Close to sleep myself, I manage to hold onto consciousness long enough to pull the blanket over our entwined bodies…lest anyone enter, we would have some covering.
And just before I drift off, pressed against your warm chest, I whisper a prayer of thanks, for this, for us.
*There's no more mystery, it is finally clear to me
You're the home my heart searched for so long
It is you I have loved all along*
And soon, it's time to wake up. I open my eyes to find yours, staring down at me, a loving expression on your face. "I love you," you say, nuzzling my neck. "Always and forever."
My heart soars at these simple words, that hold so much meaning. I kiss you gently. "For longer than forever," I vow, lips just above your own.
"Yours, forever." I can tell by your voice that you are about to slip back into sleep. I kiss your forehead lovingly, feeling the raw emotion course through me.
*Over and over I'm filled with emotion
Your love, it rushes through my veins*
I watch you for a while, watching your chest rise and fall, your eyelids flutter every so often. Unable to stop myself, I trail my fingers over your face, learning each and every curve and rise, freezing your image in my mind, forever. I silently pledge never to leave you.
*And I am filled with the sweetest devotion
As I look into your perfect face*
We wake up again, reluctant to leave the warmth and comfort of each other. But as the sun paints the sky pink and purple, we stir, knowing that others will soon be waking. Time for a few, last minute kisses, then time to dress in our alternate personas, the ones we present to the world around us. As we share our last, private moments, we renew our promises. I am home.
*There's no more a mystery, it is finally clear to me
You're the home my heart searched for so long
And it is you I have loved
It is you I have loved*
And just before we leave, I slip my dogtags over my head, replacing yours with mine. Your fingers trace my numbers, before reaching out to trace my face, memorizing, holding that image.
We share a last kiss, then we walk out, into a world that suddenly seems so cold, refusing to understand the simple love between to people. But that's okay, for now. We have each other. And that's all that we'll ever need.
*It is you I have loved all along*
***The End***
Please review!
