AN;/ You know when you write something and can't help but regret it, but you also want to share it? Here.
I have never been to the Falkland Islands. I apologise unreservedly for every single error that has no doubt occurred. Also, I have made up everything, including protocol for evil fog.
I'm so sorry.
The evil fog itself is inspired by (quite possibly lifted from) Celia Rees' "The Reliquary Ring".
When Singing Saved the Day
Sometimes, the Avengers were sent out to charity events. Sometimes, they were sent out to press conferences. And sometimes, when there was a problem too big, too out-of-this-world for any regular army or team to handle, they were sent out to fight.
This wasn't quite any of those.
At 11:00 FKT last night the UK's Ministry of Defence reported a "strange fog" around 750 kilometres to the east of the Falkland Islands.
At 11:30 FKT, satellite imagery determined it to be a thick black fog that was approaching said islands against the wind and against the tide, sparking the first suspicions that it was no natural occurrence.
At 11:45 FKT, one of the RAF Typhoons was sent to try and ascertain the true nature of the fog, but on approach at 00:30 FKT all contact was lost and the plane reclassified as missing presumed lost.
That was when SHIELD offered the services of the Avengers. Even Director Fury was getting involved to smooth over any diplomatic difficulties.
Steve pored over the limited information available – nearly 3000 islanders in danger from fog – and resigned himself to being useful only in the event of an evacuation. The serum might have given him strength, speed, and agility but he couldn't exactly punch out fog. This fight belonged to Bruce and Tony as the brains of the team, and all he could do was help organise the evacuation if it became necessary.
By the time they got there, it was just about 01:00 FKT and Steve was glad he didn't get as tired as he used to. In New York it was just about 23:00 so as far as the team was concerned it was the end of the day, not the beginning, and he knew by the end of this they would all be running on fumes. But as Tony and Bruce made their way to – well, wherever the officials were taking them – he took the opportunity to look out east. He couldn't see the fog, it was too dark for that.
Then Iron Man went speeding past, straight towards the fog.
Maybe an hour passed before he was speeding back, an hour of no communication (because of course Tony was of the opinion it was better to ask forgiveness than permission) and some peculiar results from the satellites, but Tony did return. Typically, as he flipped up the faceplate he was grinning like a loon and gesturing for the team, plus Fury, plus their assigned liaison officer, to come over and listen to him.
"No, no, no," he said, cutting off whatever Fury was about to say, "this is so cool, I can't believe this is going to be this cool, we have to sing."
"I beg your pardon?" Fury replied.
"Out there, I had my speakers on, you know, little bit of light entertainment, also trying to piss off anyone who was in there enough to get them to stick their heads out – oh, come on Steve, it's worked before – and it stopped," he explained. "So, I tried with just noise, a few simple tones, and it totally ignored it, carried on coming. Then I sang, and yes I do have a very good voice, thank you very much, and it backed off. Seriously the retreat you registered? All me."
"Right," Fury said, fully used to the total weirdness of the world after having worked with the Avengers for three years. "So we sing."
"What songs does everyone know?" Natasha asked.
"Um – Star Spangled Banner?" Steve said, then felt a little bit like punching himself in the head.
"Steve, we're in the Falklands," she told him pityingly. "We need something a bit more universal."
"Disney," Clint told them. "Everyone knows Disney."
"Like Snow White? Pinocchio?" Steve said helplessly.
Their liaison officer just looked at them like they were mentally deficient. Steve didn't blame him.
"Excuse me, could you just repeat that please?" he asked politely.
"Disney songs, motherfucker, do you know them?"
"Well, yes, of course, I have two children," he replied. "Are you seriously expecting the islanders to turn out and start singing Disney songs to get rid of an evil fog? That belongs in a movie, not in real life."
"Look," Tony told him. "If you can get the islanders to come and sing with us, then me and Bruce will have enough time to construct a containment field that will get rid of that fog for good. Okay?"
Looking more than a little dubious at the thought of such a scheme, the officer closed his eyes, stood up straight, and looked Director Fury straight in the eye.
"I cannot risk the safety of these people unless we are certain that this will work. Director Fury, I am asking you for honesty. Will this work?"
"From the evidence I've got, yes. And I have faith that they will make this work," was the serious reply.
"Well, this is going to be interesting to explain," the officer said with a wry smile. "Give me ten minutes, I'll see what I can do."
"Hi-ho, hi-ho, it's off to work we go!" Tony sang as he walked away, giving off a maniacal cackle as he pulled Bruce along.
Thirty minutes later, the black fog almost upon East Falkland, Steve found himself standing on the coast belting out Whistle While You Work, sharing a sheet of paper with Natasha and Clint that gave them the lyrics to the next song, Beauty and the Beast. Already they'd performed A Whole New World and We Are Men, and after they'd sung Just Can't Wait to be King they'd cycle back round to sing the same five songs over again. They weren't alone.