This Is Your Captain Speaking
"I can't believe you hid behind me when they pulled a gun on us."
"Look, as the captain, I have to play to my strengths and my crews' strengths and in that moment, you were much more capable of handling that particular situation."
"By being a human shield?"
"Listen, Kel, in my head, I jumped in front of you but the next thing I know..."
"your body has gone in the wrong direction and curled into the fetal position?"
"I...yes. That did happen, but you covered the situation beautifully and who knew it was a matriarchal society that respects female superiority?"
"Oh, so I'm guessing that's your version of events in the formal reports?"
"The formal report speaks to your bravery, heroism, diplomacy, and..."
"and glosses over the fact that you jumped behind me rather than me jumping in front of you?"
"To your benefit, I might add."
"You just didn't want John and Gordon to mock you."
"Um, possibly."
"Okay. Well, I will let this go if you do one thing."
"Anything. You name it."
"Apologize."
"For using you as a human shield?"
"Yes."
"Really?'
"Yes."
"Fine. I'm sorry I used you as a human shield."
"And?"
"And?!
"And?"
"and crying 'take her, not me, I'm too young to die' while curled in a ball at your feet. Happy now?"
"Oh, yes, much better. I accept your apology."
"Great, can we go back to the bridge now?"
Gordon turned to the captain and first officer as they walked through the door of the bridge. The rest of the staff remained fixedly working at their stations.
"Hey Captain?"
"Yes, Gordon?"
"Did you know your communication link to the bridge was on for the past 10 minutes?"
As Ed turned to glare at Kelly, John and Gordon exchanged a mischievous smile and began a litany of teasing that only ended three light years away when they encountered a spatial anomaly that required more flying than talking.