A/N For Jorie's contest on Maximum-X
Monday
Max screamed in horror, "My poor, virgin eyes!" Why? Because Gasman, in all his glory, had let loose his namesake. All over the couch, goddammit.
"Stop being so dramatic, it's just a bit of number two." He sighed and pulled up his pants. What a girl.
Max gagged, pulling her shirt up to cover her nose and her hood over her eyes. "Shit, you little tart, you shitted all over the friggin couch!"
"What's your point?"
"Motherfucker!"
"Come on," Gasman threw his hands in the air like he just didn't care, "Like Iggy never did it."
"Iggy did what?" Nudge conveniently walked in with Angel.
"That's quite peculiar." Angel yawned lazily and made to plop down on the couch.
"NO!" Max and Nudge screamed. But alas, it was too late.
"What? What happened?" Asked an alarmed Angel. She glanced down under her tush-tush.
"You know," She turned to Gasman, "It's mostly your fault I have so many issues."
Tuesday
"Where's Iggy been, I wonder?" Max wondered. Lime green be damned, those sinister demons better fuck off. When the going gets tough, we all get grungy!
You want blood? I'll give you blood. You want some whoop-ass? Stick around, my friend.
Fang walked in.
"What's that smell?" He asked.
"That's the smell of success!"
"It's pot, isn't it?"
"Success. It's success."
"Where the hell did you get pot."
"Can we bomb the White House?"
"No."
"Are you sure? We can blow up that shit!"
"No. That is definitely not the appropriate use for a bomb."
"C'mon, we can blow that shit away. Like, crazy."
"No, I'm good."
Max pouted, "Bro, your harshing my mellow."
"Are you okay?" Fang asked.
"Of course."
"Because your eyes are screaming."
"Have you seen Tropic Thunder?"
"Yeah…"
"That was a crazy, man."
Fang shuffled on his heels, "Yeah, I know."
Max shook her head, "No, man, you don't know. You don't know at all." She was nearly crying at this point.
Fang grew impatient, looking at his watch, "Yeah, sorry."
Max shook her palms through the air, "It was epic, Fang. Friggin epic. You have no idea."
"Yeah, okay."
Max frowned, glaring at Fang, "If you say that one more time, I will implode. And you will be the one who has to clean me up. And yes, imploding would leave a mess."
Fang shook his head, "Yeah, whatever."
He walked out.
Wednesday!!!!
Fang, in a particularly emo mood, flipped on his I-Pod, picking the first song he could come by.
When
after all this time that you still owe, When you go, Sometimes I cry so hard from pleading, And
after all the blood that you still owe, When you go, Well come on, come
on. When you go, I don't love
you like I loved you yesterday. I don't love you like I loved
you yesterday
You're still the
good-for-nothing I don't know,
So take your gloves and get
out,
Better get out,
While you can.
Would
you even turn to say,
"I don't love you like I did
yesterday"?
So
sick and tired of all the needless beating,
But, baby, when they
knock you down and out,
It's where you oughta stay.
Another dollar's just
another blow.
So fix your eyes and get up,
Better get up,
While
you can.
Would you even turn to say,
"I
don't love you like I did yesterday"?
Would you have the guts to say,
"I
don't love you like I loved you yesterday"?
Max came into the room, a deep frown stretched across her face, tears in her eyes, "Why Fang? Why are you doing this to me? Why can't you just…just….Why?"
He shrugged, "Why not?"
Max pondered, her eyes lingering thoughtfully towards the sky, "Your right, Fang. God, I've been so stupid."
Fang nodded, "It happens."
Thursday
Angel skipped over to where Max had situated herself, Celeste clenched tightly between her fingers, Total following suit.
"Max?"
Max didn't look up from her Twilight book, "Yeah, sweetie?"
She looked at her toes, "Where do babies come from?"
Max tensed, "Uh…."
"I don't think it's the stork, 'cause I saw some pictures and I think his jaw would break if he hadta carry around a bunch of babies in his beak all the timed…"
Max fidgeted with the pages of her book, "Mmmm…"
Angel looked at her expectedly.
Coming to a conclusion, she proclaimed, "We'll tell you when your older."
!!Friday!!
It was a peaceful day for the Flock. There were no Erasers--or any variations of the kind--attacking, nor any Uber-higher ups using them to destroy the planet or whatever the fourth book was about. The sun was shining, and the bird were chirping (it wasn't Angel, either). It was---dare I say---pleasant.
Until…it came.
"Hey guys!" Nudge shrieked, "Omigod I was just watching this show about these guys and they were like, blowing stuff up and it was crazy and this one guy, he had this girlfriend and she was wearing this really ugly beer sweatshirt, but her nails had these swirly blue designs on them, and I was thinking of making my nails like that if I could learn how or I could get Ella to do it next time we see her. She'd probably know how to do that, right? Cause she grew up in like, normal school, so she probably had a bunch of friends who could do that. I don't think blue, though, cause it'd look kinda weird on my skin, so I was thinking red or pink, because it would look really cute with this shirt I have, 'cept that shirt got all dirty in Antarctica, but I figure next time we go see Max's mom she could clean it. You know her dog, right? You think she has a crush on Total, cause---"
Fang whipped her across the head with the dirty frying pan placed next to the burnt out fire. She fell to the ground in a blissfully silent heap.
"Nice." Max muttered, flipping the page in her magazine.
Fang nodded, "Had to be done."
A bird flew across the sky.
Fin.