"I can't," I held back all my emotions with very ounce of energy that I had.
"Amelia, please." He took a step towards me with his hand outstretched.
I quickly took several steps back, wrapping my arms around my torso. "Leave, Embry."
I couldn't bear to look at his face. Embry couldn't cover his own emotion as I did. I could see the sadness and desperation in his eyes as well as his quivering body.
"Get out. I don't want you here." I made sure to keep my face blank as my eyes bore into his. I hoped he would leave so I wouldn't crack.
"Y-you don't want me," Embry whispered. The quivering had changed into full blown body vibrations.
He abruptly turned and disappeared out the back door with a loud bang.
I could only stand there for a few moments, the silence engulfing me.
My car keys were in my hand and my feet in my sneakers when I suddenly noticed that I was locking the front door and running to my Camaro.
The familiar rumbling of the engine almost scared me. My wheels flicked up the gravel on the road as I sped out of the reservation that I had grown up in.
As I passed the Forks town sign an earsplitting pain filled howl sounded.
I pushed further down on the acceleration to escape.
The entire ride I was still boxing up everything. I had carefully constructed a wall to hide it all from him in order to get him to believe I didn't care about him.
It was lies though. I did care about him. Not only was he my best friend, but I had stupidly harbored a crush on Embry.
It was too late for any of that now though. It was him that didn't want me.
It had been hours since I had left La Push, and I had no clue as to where I had gone. For all I knew I was somewhere in Canada.
I couldn't keep it in check anymore. I quickly pulled over onto the side of a nearly empty road and began to sob my heartache.
Tears streamed down my face as I gasped for oxygen. My heart throbbed and beat against my bones painfully.
I truly was pathetic. A pathetic excuse for an imprint at the very least.
Finally, my sobbing subsided.
Wiping my eyes with my jumper sleeve, I spotted a store.
I grabbed my card and angrily slammed the car door shut as I got out.
My emotions were a roller coaster I hated. I didn't want to be like this. I didn't want to feel anything.
The cashier was very chirpy as she scanned my pack of energy drinks and chips. "Have a good day!"
"Yes, you too." I tried desperately to gather my things as the people in the line behind me tapped their shoes.
I didn't understand why people were so impatient, although I was probably thinking hypocritically.
Opening the Camaro door, once again, I tossed the bag onto the passenger seat and slid into the driver's.
My body felt heavy, limp even, and I didn't know what was happening to me.
Everything in my mind clicked together like some sick puzzle. I was broken.
The imprint magical whatever had broken me. My body and mind would be in a permanent state of 'I don't know' and pain.
I wanted nothing to do with it anymore. I didn't want him. At this thought my stomach flipped painfully. I didn't want any of this. I certainly didn't want to live the rest of my life in pain because our ancestors had selected out a man that didn't want to be forced into marriage with me.
My once normal existence would forever be plagued with the knowledge that vampires existed. Only a handful wouldn't want to bring harm to a human. If I wanted to remain safe from the bloodsuckers I would have to stay in La Push because the wolves protect the tribe. I would have to go through every day seeing the pack and their imprints being happily in love. Some will have children soon, so I'll be on the front line watching them get their happily ever after as promised by the spirits.
The only other option I had was to move onto the army base located in Arizona. That's where Dad had some friends who were still at home. Some of them had kids around my age, although I remember that a couple of them were a year or two older than me. They could move on with whatever they wanted whereas I was still stuck here.
Arizona was nice, I guess. It was really hot there. I'd probably incinerate the second I crossed the imaginary border to the state. The transition from freezing La Push to boiling Arizona. Maybe these thoughts were askew.
I reached my hand out to the passenger seat to grab an energy drink. Something incredibly soft, mattered, touched my fingertips. My heart beat rocketed, my breathing stopping instantaneously.
My eyes swiveled to the side and saw… saw the carrier bag that held my purchases.
I'm an idiot. An overthinking idiot.
I quickly downed a can and tossed it over my headrest once it was empty.
I needed to go home. I had worn these clothes for days, and hadn't had a real shower. Luckily I had found a beanie that could hide my greasy hair. I am officially a tramp.
I paid more attention on the slow drive back, half and half of being safe and wanting to draw out the inevitable.
All too soon I was in Forks.
I hated this place now. I hated the entire state of Washington.
I hated myself because I didn't want to be sour about this. About a guy!
Even though said guy was my best friend, and just so beautiful- but none of that mattered. This imprint magic had effectively destroyed our friendship.
I did want to keep in touch with him, because he was always my best friend and the thought of losing someone I had always been close with scared me.
It was less than I felt when Dad told me he was leaving, but it was still raw to me.
I missed my father, so much. My heart did so much aching that I felt like it may as well leave my body. I needed him, but I know he loved his job of being able to help. It made me adore him more.
As the wheels of my car rolled past the La Push sign, I felt myself becoming numb.
This imprinting was going to kill me. This was the end of Amelia Rivercrest. God, I'm so dramatic.
The second I parked the car and switched off the engine, I was rushing towards the front door, managing to make it inside in less than ten seconds. I made sure to lock the door behind me. Like that would actually prevent anything entering my home.
"Oh my god!" A female voice screeched. I was snatched up into a tight, oxygen stopping hug.
I didn't even pull back. I couldn't figure out who it was from this angle and I lacked the energy to move.
The girl let me go, allowing my lungs to refill with air. I began to realize who it was then. It was my older sister, who I hadn't seen since I was fourteen. It was Olivia.
"Why are you here?" I found myself asking. I was confused.
She said she'd never come back here after Dad was deployed, and when Mom left- because she's a traveling saleswoman- it only solidified her decision.
I basically had the house to myself seeing as I am perfectly capable of cooking, cleaning both the house and my clothes.
"I got a call saying you had disappeared! I was worried about you." She exclaimed, lightly squeezing my upper arms.
"I took a little holiday away from the town. It was the very first day of summer break so I chose to treat myself," I lied expertly.
"Fine, ok, sorry. I just panicked when Jared called me," Olivia sighed.
"Jared called you?" My head titled to the side slightly. Why hadn't Embry called her himself?
Wait, stop Amelia, don't do this to yourself.
"Yes, he did. He said that no one had seen you for a couple of days and asked if you were with me."
I nodded. "Well, I'm ok and safe so you can resume with the whole texting each other every night thing." I laughed despite not feeling the implied happiness.
"Yeah, I left Jack at home and he'll probably have set the house on fire."
We shared hugs, 'I love you's and I gave her an entire pack of meat that I knew I would never finish.
I was pretty good at lying- although I prefer to call it acting. I could pretend to be perfectly fine without much effort needed for the person to actually believe me.
As soon as her truck was around the street corner I stopped smiling, my shoulders slumped and I could the hot liquid pour down my face.
I went into the kitchen and pulled out a premade cottage pie to warm up in the microwave.
I sat at the table when it hit me. Agony within tore at my heart and set it on fire. An eighteen wheeler truck was driving over my heart while someone took a scalpel to jab at it.
It was the worst pain I'd ever experienced. It cut deep in my gut. I cleared throat, hoping it would push the feeling away, but it did nothing.
The microwave beeped, but I no longer felt hungry. I took it out, scolding my hand as I wrapped it in silver foil.
Within the next hour I was lay on my stomach staring blankly at the TV. The tears became endless. My face and hoodie were severely damp. A sob occasionally escaped as the agony only seemed to worsen.
"I'm sorry," I sobbed. "I'm sorry I took it from you. That you had no say on who you wanted."
It was useless, of course. From Facebook I saw that Carla was going on a date. I guess Embry finally asked her out.
The very thought intensified the pain. Is it possible to die from a broken heart? It felt like it was killing me slowly.
I got up suddenly, ran to my bedroom and stripped off all my clothes and changing into my sports bra, quarter length gray yoga pants, and a thin jacket. I also made sure to grab my IPod, headphones, and the little holder thing that secured the device to my arm.
I left through the backdoor, music blasting in my ears as I ran through the thin trees.
The hilly and rough terrain was the challenge I needed to take my mind away from everything.
This was a distracting technique I used to avoid something or wanted to get a thought out my head.
I loved to run. It presented me with the challenge when trying to dash over the tricky, unmarked paths I took. Due to this it required my full concentration to not trip and therefore break my ankle.
"And I find it hard to not to leave," I quietly sang. "And let go."
A chill rattled my bones. I felt like I was being watched. I abruptly stopped, spun around only to see an empty forest behind me. I resumed back on my usual patch, picking up the pace.
"I'm gonna throw caution to the wind." I mumbled along with the song, only ceasing because it was taking more breath out of me.
I was exhausting myself. I mean, I was already exhausted from the lack of sleep, lack of food, and obviously the exercise.
I knew that black rings were under my eyes, while my eyeballs were bloodshot.
Suddenly, arms wrapped around my waist. I struggled against them. I flicked my head back, effectively using that as my escape route. The arms disappeared from my body; I quickly spun with my fists held up. I'm not a good fighter, but for self-defense I could hold my own.