Title: Even in this base degraded form
Pairing: Kanon/Schneizel
Genre: Angst
Rating: T (to be safe)
Disclaimer: T'ain't mine.
Summary: "Schneizel is not Schneizel. My Prince is lost to me. If I were stronger I would kill him." Kanon struggles with the aftermath of Lelouch's death.
Author's Notes: Up until about yesterday, I wasn't a terribly great fan of Schneizel or Kanon, although Schneizel/Kanon did intrigue me. And then, today it occurred to me that if Kanon and Schneizel did have a more… intimate… relationship, Kanon would probably be rather upset by the way in which the series ended. Since this is told from Kanon's perspective, there will be A LOT of Lelouch/Suzaku/Nunally bashing. In the same proportion, there will be a lot of praise of Schneizel, some of it undeserved.
Chapter One
I almost died today—Maybe. That sentence is wrong, but I am not entirely sure whether the problem lies in the word "almost" or the word "today."
This is devotion: Of all the things to regret as I was marched to my doom I could only thing of this: my Prince would die a slave. Nothing else mattered to me. Rather Lelouch had killed us all aboard the Damocles. That was it; I regretted not dying sooner.
Now Lelouch is dead. Nunally is the 100th Emperor of the Holy Britannian Empire, an impostor Zero her Knight, and His Highness her Minister.
Now Lelouch is dead.
Lelouch is dead. Lelouch is dead. Lelouch is dead. Lelouch is dead. Lelouch is dead. Lelouch is dead. Lelouch is dead. Lelouch is dead. Lelouch is dead. Lelouch is dead. Lelouch is dead. Lelouch is dead. Lelouch is dead. Lelouch is dead. Lelouch is dead. Lelouch is dead. Lelouch is dead. Lelouch is dead. Lelouch is dead. Lelouch is dead.
Lelouch
is
dead.
I saw his death with my own eyes. How to describe what I felt then? Hope? I do not think so… I doubt I shall ever be able to feel hope again. But it was something, something strong, a ball of anxious anticipation and unadulterated joy formed in the pit of my stomach as Zero plunged his sword into the impostor emperor; an electric ecstasy filled me as the monster who enslaved my Prince fell and slid down from his pedestal, leaving a trail of bright red blood as evidence of his death.
Along with the rest of the world I saw Lelouch vi Britannia die.
Along with the rest of the world I saw Zero kill Lelouch vi Britannia.
That devil's curse is lifted. The world he enslaved saw him die and lost him as its lord and master.
But His Highness had his back turned to the assassination.
His Highness did not see Lelouch die.
His Highness did not see Zero kill Lelouch.
And really, His Highness was never a slave to Lelouch.
"Serve me. Serve Zero."
That damn blasted curse! Two commands. One Geass. That was all it took to take the pinnacle of human perfection, beautiful, bright, composed, compassionate, skilled, loving Schneizel and turn him into a will-less puppet serving Zero. His Highness unwillied, undone, unmanned, all by the man he loved most in the world. Damn you Lelouch. I pray to whatever Gods that you burn forever in the deepest, darkest, hottest pit of hell for the rest of eternity. But even that will be of no use to me. Clever demon—did you foresee this eventuality, did you plan for this? Was that your intention when you commanded the brother who loved you so to serve Zero? Or was that simply your luck? How is it possible that a rotten, filthy, traitorous boy can be so fully and so undeservingly loved by all the fates? How could you have repaid your loving, doting brother so? And to me? What ever did I do to you, to deserve this punishment worse than death at your hands?
What foolish things I write. Lelouch is dead.
And yet, Zero lives, and so long as Zero lives, His Highness will "gladly" serve him.
And of course, so long as His Highness lives, I will serve him, even in this base degraded form.
Schneizel is not Schneizel. My Prince is lost to me. If I were stronger I would kill him. If I were weaker, I would kill myself. All I can do now is despair and serve my Prince, who serves Zero, who serves Nunally.
Author's Notes: I realize nothing much happened, but it's supposed to read like a diary, and for the moment Kanon is just angsting. Rest assured, he will continue to angst, but he'll go and do things too. Reviews would be wildly appreciated. :D